June 2010 Mastectomy

Jeanne: it is very cathartic to cry in front of others and it is good to just let it out.  I am glad you had that experience and you feel better.   I have a similar experience when certain company is here!!!!!!   Of course, and I could be wrong, but I do believe you and are crying for different reasons!!!!!!!!

Good luck with all your schoolwork and it was good to hear from you.  You are probably tired because of all that you are doing! 

Take care,
Liz

Sorry this is so short tonight, post more later.  I am working full days this week so I am late getting on the computer. Will not be on much till the weekend.  Money for girls school clothes, here I come!

 I drove myself to all my fills, and back, and had no trouble at all.  Just take some Motrin before.  I got what I now know (I didn't know until I read how much all the other women wrote theirs were) were huge fills of 120 each time.  It is tight afterward but not really painful.  Just back to the vice feeling.  Night time was a little harder, definately take the Ibuprofen again before bed.  Hope this helps.  talk soon-Misty

I had a nice weekend at my high school reunion. I went with my BFF from high school and college and we figured that if the reunion was boring, we'd get to catch up with each other. It was nice to see people who I hadn't seen for 35 years! We spent the night at a hotel nearby the reunion and went to our old church on Sunday.

I went grocery shopping today - all by myself! (Sad that I would get excited about that...) My husband left my car home so I could drive to and from the store. The only thing that is still uncomfortable is the shoulder strap on the seatbelt. I've been putting it behind me but I know that isn't safe.

I'm not feeling any more tightness from my last fill. The expander does feel funny if I am not sitting up in a chair though. It's forcing me to have good posture!

I am glad that all of us have the worst behind us and prayers to all of you for continued good recovery!

Robin: I am just so glad that it now seems that you have a date for the end of August. Of course, and relative to visitors, it would be much nicer nearby your home so I hope the 31st works out. I worked on Wall St for years and was a trader and actually did some direct work on the floor of the exchange. As the only woman, most often, in that sea of very, very handsome men, I decided to treat my life as a museum where I quickly could appreciate the aesthetics of these men, much like a museum, I could not take the painting home with me! I really could have not ever survived if I had allowed personal relationships to develop because as a woman, who fought off advances daily, I was a bit of an enigma for them and they did not want me there. So, back to the falling in love based on looks....never happen!!!!!!!! More to this point, however, I am sorry your potential BS in Edinburgh is not eye candy! Robin, something else I wanted to impart today is something my older brother has always told me: things are going to happen in life and that is guaranteed and the only thing we can control is our response to them...that is it. Good or bad, the only thing we have control over is our response to the event. You seem to manage your responses to the fits-and-starts of all you have been through this summer, just trying to secure a date to take care of yourself, with much aplomb and for this I laude you. I am quite hopeful this is all taken care of by the end of August. Robin, I also know it is hard to be so far away from your "visitor" base during such a big surgery but is there a benefit, medical-minds wise, from going to a city-based hospital? I live in Connecticut and, for me, Yale is 1/2 hour away but I would easily do several hours to reach a "Yale" if I were not in such close proximity. Do you think you might be able to get better care in Edinburgh? Just tossing it out there...something for you to consider.

Misty: thanks for the info on Motrin. This will undoubtedly come in handy when going for the first fill.

Reneemac: glad you had a nice walk down memory lane! I can't even imagine seeing people I used to go to school with 35 years ago...or if I would want to! That would be my kindergarten class, however, and there were some racy boys that scared me so I was a kindegarten drop out!  I started in first grade b/c they were pulling up my skirt and one little boy had no front teeth and he was sticking his tongue out of his mouth from where his teeth should have been!  another one wanted to see biological parts that traditionally are covered by clothing!   I wanted to go home and watch Tom and Jerry!!  They were really scaring me!  

I think the TE's will always feel a little weird. Good posture, however, what a great byproduct of this whole matter!

StCards: I bet it is going to be hard to go back to work and deal with people that cry on a dime about what you are going through. Definitely avoid them. When I go back I will be bald and probably a C down from DD or E I was, depending on bra, before surgery and they can stare all they want! I could care less. I have not sent out updates to people I work with but I work for one of the largest employers in this country and corporate policies are differ so I just did not want to. More importantly, however, is there were 2 young friends, 25ish, getting married around the time I left and I joke with them all the time and I am usually the one to inject jest, as perhaps you all know, into any situation and, for this reason, I didn't want them to be included in knowing, blow-by-blow, how their funny, charismatic pal who seemed full of life a few days ago had something growing inside of her trying to kill her. I just thought it would be too much for them, and a few others, to bear, so I have been quiet. If you go to the Liberator catalogue they do have cami's with those "puffers" I often jokingly refer to but what they do is smooth out the weird TE shapes at times and make you look more your original size. It might be something you want to consider. I also have a name and number of a contact there and your insurance covers them nearly 100% in most cases. I got 3 camis and it was $200! They also have built-in drain pouches so you might be able to pass them on to a bc care group in your area after your swap-out surgery is over. Something to consider. Now enough with the small talk, I want to know where you are at on that treadmill progress!!!!!! I notice you have cleverly circumvented that entire topic for a number of days now which, of course, means you are in deep training! I am onto your tricks, missy! I know you will, off-handedly of course, offer up your progress report in a few weeks that will go something like this: I am at 4.2 now and an incline of 7 and I do this for roughly 6 miles a day! I know you are secretly in stealth training mode so you can nonchalantly drop your progress bomb in an "oh, btw" fashion! I am onto you!!!!!!!!!! I would like some details now!!!!!!!

Also, one final note on the non-driving dog! Did you ever try to let the dog drive?! On Saturday Night Live there was a skit called "Toonces the Driving Cat" which unfortunately usually ended up in a fiery car crash when the family decided to let Toonces drive but that is not the point! The point here is this: you are limiting that animal by not at least giving him/her a try! You could have been lounging in the back seat on the way to your fills if you would only give that dog a chance!!!!!!!!

Speech: don't wait for those docs.....get hiking as much as you want!!!!! I think, because of all the legal nonsense in this country, they are hesitant to say much so live your life like I do: Ask forgiveness, not permission!!!!!!!!!!!

My Day: Goal #1-try to stay awake! Goal#2: finish washing the outside of the house and try not to fall asleep while I am doing it; Goal #3- laundry and try not to fall asleep in the basement! Do you all notice a theme here?!?!?!? I can still put back some sleep! I slept 10.5 hours last night. Finally I will grill chicken cutlets and make my favorite salad, and that which I have almost every night in the summer, of mixed spring lettuce, shredded carrots and peppers from every color of the rainbow followed by a luscious nectarine, the likes of which I have not tasted so good in years! Good times, good stuff! Then there is the newly-acquired narcolepsy to deal with......!!!!!!!

Keep smiling...it works!

Liz

So Liz - treadmill update.

3.1 mph, incline # 2, for 45 minutes. That gets me at 2.3 miles, and burns about 220 calories as the treadmill says. Just about ready to go to 3.2 mph.

Dog story - our dog is named Tarra, yes two R's. She is a purebred German Shepard who is predominately black all over, some tan on her legs, but mainly black. Major hair shedder. Anyway, we used to have a Subaru outback wagon. It had a dog gate to keep her in back, behind the seats. Tarra loves to go in the car. So, one day my husband was out driving with her. The dog gate must not have been secure, because at one of the stoplights, it suddenly fell back onto the dog. So, since hubby was on a busy road, he had no where to stop and kept driving. Well, Tarra, got free from under the gate, and climbed over the back seat. She then went between the two front seats and proceeded to sit in hubbys lap, WHILE WE WAS DRIVING! She very intently stared straight ahead until they got home! So, maybe she does know how to drive?!?

Another time, we had boarded her, and since we were due back late, had my hubby's mom go pick her up. My MIL is all of 4 ft 10, and no match for 65 lb Tarra. The boarding place put her in the car with some struggle, and politely asked how would my MIL would get her out when she got to our house? MIL politely said garage door opener, I pull in, close the garage, open car door and Tarra bounds right out! The whole way home, MIL told me Tarra had her front paws on the center console and was looking out the front window of the car, as if to make sure MIL was actually going to our house!  

Enough of the dog stories.

It is kinda of funny, after my first fill, it really made a difference. I mean I was barely bigger than an A to begin with. With my sports bra on, and the pad that I put over each incision, it fills the cup up and looks like something is there. #2 is the day I go back to work, I think it will look pretty good. I didn't intent to copy work people on my updates, but so many of the asked me to include them, including my boss, I just added them. Plus, a lot of them had watched me go thru Chemo and had been very helpful thru that. I work for one of the largest Private label food manufactures in the US, and we also own Post Cereal, and hearing we just bought a Pasta Company. The office building is right by Busch Stadium - go Cardinals! Part of how I came up with my screen name. 

Jane - right there with you on the pec muscles. I mean, we use them for almost everything it seems. I was trying to get the lid off the milk container - very tight fit as it is a glass bottle, and couldn't for like two weeks. Unscrew a jar, forget about it. Thankfully they are getting better each day. Scoop ice cream - had DH do it, didn't even try. Maybe I should ask the dog for help! 

I love the dog stories.  I must say that my  month old lab puppy "Lilly" has been a blessing to me during this time.  She brings a lot of joy when things really stink!
It has been 7 weeks since my BMX w/TE and I still don't have my energy back.  I am ready to feel better.  Plus, I had my chest asprirated on Friday due to swelling and it looks worse than before.  Not much came out. I feel like there is a baseball under my skin not to mention the beautiful coloring.  I did get some good news today though.  My onco sent me to the Kirklan Clinic at UAB for a second opinion with a Dr. he did a fellowship with.  Her name is Dr. Lisle Nabell and she is great.  Based on my onco testing and path reports they are recommended and A1 drug with no chemo.  Plus the fact that I had the double mast for assurance helped.  I go back in four weeks to determine what is next. 
I love this forum and it is so informative!  You ladies rock! 

Thanks for the input.  I may be reading my path report wrong.  It says for the HER2/neu NOT OVER EXPRESSED; FAVORABLE with 1+% total score.  I really don't know what that means.  My ER and PR were positive with 98% and 80%.

Laurie: btw, I still think you are clearly under-utilizing that dog!!!!!!  You are so close to your own skit on SNL, you just don't know and it might not end in a fiery car crash!!!!  

Cleijo: congratulations on Lilly AND your onco test results!  So very nice to dodge the chemo ball!  Good for you!  Speaking of dodging balls (!), have you all seen Dodge Ball?  Well, if not, you need to...that is one funny movie!

Goodnight all-

Jeanne, my oncologist told me to take Vitamin E with the tamoxifen. He said that it would help cut down the hot flashes. I don't know if it does or not. I get two or three of them a day and before the tamoxifen, I was getting about one or two a week.

Regarding the sports bra - I have the same problem you do, although I don't have a falsie in it. It is so uncomfortable that I am back to wearing my camisole with no bra. At some point before I go back to work, I will have to get used to the sports bra. Maybe I should get a larger size and that will help.

Laurie08 200cc on each side????  OMG you are "wonder woman".  I have been gettin 100 and it has been so owie that this last time he only put in 75.  Were you larger before your mx?  So happy you can now lift your baby

 reneemac      My PS wanted me to wear a tight sports bra but it just flat hurts.  So I got a few comfy stretchy ones in different colors and wear those under a large button up top and NO poofs.  THey give the appearance of a tank top and is much cooler. 

jsmiley60 I could NEVER get my poof to match my other side.  I finally just stuck it under my car seat LOL

RobinLM Congrats on August 31.. !!!!!!!  I posted to you on July

lizzymack1 You are just TOO cute !!  Wish we could all get together sometime.  We could clear a room fast I believe LOL

stlcardsfan I agree with the "pec muscle" thing.  I had no clue how much I used mine until now. It's weird how it can be numb but yet I feel such a pull.  I am one of the few, I guess, who was not told the site would be permanently numb

Off to soak in the tub and read.

stcarsfan- today after my big fill I noticed that a lot of my underarm poof is gone.  Not completely but it is alot better.  He said that the fill will lmake my TE move out - meaning round- and not be sticking out on the side so much.  As for the pain areas, when over do it I am sore in my arm pit where the SNB was done but my only other pain areas are my breast bone and right rib.  Again only if I over do it.  Sorry I can't relate there.  My advice is ask ALL your Dr.'s.  Like you said you have various things going on so who know s what may be causing it?

I know 200cc's!  I am going smaller than I was before so I don't know if that makes a difference.  He also said today that he had used AlloDerm on me (didn't know that) and he says that makes a difference as well.  As he was filling me he said let me know if it feels like too much.  At 100 he asked if I was doing ok, I was so he got more and kept going.  In the end he asked if I had much discomfort and I was honest and said a little but compared to surgery it's a cake walk.  I have been looking in the mirror all day at my new growth..this is such a bizarre journey we are on.

Also, I decided to put my pic's up on the picture forum so if anyone is interested you can take a peek.

Laurie - I got alloderm as well. That is part of my sore areas, as where PS stiched it to muscle, I am the most sore. Mainly lower part of former breast area, toward sides of body. My breast bone is sore to, more toward night time. Ugh! 

I can't get on the picture forum, heard it was being moved and Timtam was not letting anymore people have access until that was done.

Hi all

I haven't been on here for a while...had a right breast mastectomy on the 23 july this year and really battling to come to terms with it.  Yesterday thought I was feeling stronger, put my falsie into my tight fitting camisole, went to the chemist and by the time i got home, was exhausted, in a state about the falsie pushing up and only got out of bed this evening..........gee, how long does this feeling go on for?  Although you all sound so positive and happy.  Should maybe spend more time on this site?

love to you all

xx

Laurie08  Ah ty.  I don't think I am any stranger than the rest of us....LOL   I also wish I had known before hand what to expect.  I had spoken to a bc survior who had  an mx 7 years ago and they cut her entirely differently.  I was honestly prepared to look like I had been butchered. ( well I still felt sorta like that when I first saw me )

Dee1402 It just takes time. Its only been a week for you.  Do visit with us often.  Its been 4 weeks for me and I am still having lots of mood swings and pain off and on.