Brother Is Terminal

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Ltb3105
Ltb3105 Member Posts: 87
edited June 2014 in Life After Breast Cancer

Hi all, long time no see.  I am totally devastated.  A few weeks ago,  my brother was dx'd. with terminal cancer.  He always had a bum gall bladder but chose to self medicate....he's a doctor, by the way.  Four years ago, he wasn't feeling well and they ran tests and it was all negative....he just had divurticulitis.  A few weeks ago, he started having severe lower back pain, had all kinds of tests, and they said he had to get his gall bladder out.

My sis in law calls me and says when they went in to remove the gall bladder they found floating cancer cells all over his insides and closed him up.  Now, he has a few months to live.  How the hell can this happen?  He had blood tests, mri's, cat scans, endoscopy and colonoscopy and all tests were negative.

 Now it's so advanced, that they can only try to keep him comfortable for whatever time he has left.

 So far, my mom and dad have died from cancer, I had breast cancer in '02 and now my brother is terminal!!!  My whole goddamned family has been stricken with this beast.

 Don't know what else to say, I am totally numb. 

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  • dlb823
    dlb823 Member Posts: 9,430
    edited July 2010

    Hi, Laura ~ I'm so sorry about your brother.  And the fact that you've lost both parents to cancer and have had breast cancer yourself must be overwhelming. 

    I wanted to offer you two suggestions.  Has your brother gone to an NCI-designated cancer center for an opinion?  Because they see so much cancer and are also on the cutting edge of research, sometimes those institutions can offer hope where others cannot.  Here's a list of them if you think he would consider getting a second opinion at one:   http://cancercenters.cancer.gov/cancer_centers/map-cancer-centers.html

    The other thing I would highly suggest is a book by David Servan-Schreiber, M.D., Ph.D., called Anti-Cancer, A New Way Of Life.  He's a 2x cancer survivor (including a Stage IV dx), and his book, which advocates an integrative approach (scientifically proven CAM therapies, including some major diet changes+conventional treatment), is fabulous and very inspiring.  

    I will pray that your brother finds a treatment path that works, and that you have many more years with him ~  Deanna

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  • AnneW
    AnneW Member Posts: 4,050
    edited July 2010

    Laura, Laura, that's so terrible!! You must be reeling. Something very similar happened to my mother. It's maddening.

    I don't have any words of wisdom. I can only try to comfort you by saying you're in my heart. Thanks for popping in to let us know. We're here for you, any time.

    Anne

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  • Ltb3105
    Ltb3105 Member Posts: 87
    edited July 2010

    My brother just passed away an hour ago.  Things just went downhill faster than anyone anticipated and they had put him on oxygen and when that wasn't enough, they took him into ICU where he flatlined.  I was on the phone with my sis in law when she heard them call a code blue and rushed him into the OR.  Twenty minutes later, the doctor came out and said they couldn't bring him back.

     I am so damned glad I was down there just last week and we spent time together.

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  • chainsawz
    chainsawz Member Posts: 3,473
    edited July 2010

    Laura - I am sending you cyber hugs and wishes of strength and comfort.  I am so sorry for your loss.    lisa

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  • Scooter-12
    Scooter-12 Member Posts: 33,398
    edited July 2010

    Laura....I'm so sorry for your loss.  My prayers are with you.

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  • Leah_S
    Leah_S Member Posts: 8,458
    edited July 2010

    Laura, I'm so sorry about your brother. May G-d send you comfort.

    Leah

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  • Sphynx
    Sphynx Member Posts: 611
    edited July 2010

    I'm so sorry Laura.

    Nancy

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  • AnneW
    AnneW Member Posts: 4,050
    edited July 2010

    Oh, god, Laura. I'm so sorry. I'm glad you got to spend some time with him.

    I wish your family peace,

    Anne

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  • Mazy1959
    Mazy1959 Member Posts: 1,431
    edited July 2010

    I am so sorry Laura.

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  • dlb823
    dlb823 Member Posts: 9,430
    edited July 2010

    Oh, Laura, I'm so very sorry.  You are in my prayers ~  Deanna

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  • iodine
    iodine Member Posts: 4,289
    edited July 2010

    Oh, my dear Laura, my heart hurts for you and all your family.  I do hope that he will be physically up to making memories for all the family to share.  How this must devistate him and you all.

    there are no words to help you feel better.  I am so very sorry. 

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  • jlynnbain1031
    jlynnbain1031 Member Posts: 57
    edited July 2010

    i am so sorry laura ! hugs and many prayers to you ! we are here for you !

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  • iodine
    iodine Member Posts: 4,289
    edited July 2010

    Laura, please forgive me.  I had not read all the posts and now know that your dear brother has passed away.  Your family has certainly been raveged by the beast.  Again, no words can ease the pain, but know that we are here and care.  And CARE.

    Dotti

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  • Kate0574
    Kate0574 Member Posts: 120
    edited July 2010

    I am so sorry for your loss.. HUGGS!!

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  • lexi4
    lexi4 Member Posts: 1,074
    edited August 2010

    I am so very sorry for your loss. Please know that you and your dear brother's family are in my prayers right now.

    Hugs and Prayers,

    Lexi

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