June 2010 Mastectomy

Lizzie

You hit the nail on the head - again!

Kitwe,

I'm sorry that you are having this problem - I hope that your DH shapes up soon........you deserve to be fully supported and he should be doing it. In the meantime we will do it for you ....hugs coming your way

 Robin

x

RobinLM So good to see  you here.  I have been thinking of you. No date yet I guess.. GRRRRR !!

Thanks for the update on Orchidgal... Its been a few days and I was getting worried...

Kitwe Its so very possible that your DH is just not strong with physical issues.  We hear about men fainting in the delivery room.  I don't think men choose to be this way... but some just are. I have a VERY weak tummy and most normal things totally gross me out.  I cant help it   Even my drain tubes made me gag   I am sure there are some male people who have this issue.  I don't think it makes him love you less.  BUT you know him better than we do. This too shall pass.  B I G hugs to you......

Jeanne- I hope you are having a wonderful weekend- I told you if you were honest I would be too- :0)

Laurie08:  Sorry to hear about the MIL situation.  I know my MIL, god rest her soul, would have been as useless to me as, well, need I say?   Lovely woman, loved her a bunch, but not a very supportive or helpful - at least never to the daughters-in-law.  Anyways, hope she makes tracks soon - you'll probably feel so much better!

I am now nearly 2 months out of surgery, still have an infection in incision.  Thought rads would be starting in July, and now it looks like September or October.  This is making me VERY nervous.   I visit a public health nurse every day to get the opening packed.  Have to get MORE anti-biotics tomorrow.  (BTW - this is one disadvantage to having chemo before surgery - your body doesn't fight off infections yet).  Still no straight answer on why they didn't give me anti-biotics post surgery to prevent this.   I'm supposed to leave  for my cottage next Saturday, hopefully for 2 wks., but because of this, may have to either delay or cancel my plans.   GEEZ!!!! 

hello ladies...haven't posted much but keeping up with the thread.  what an amazing group of ladies!  i read something today that made me laugh.  it went like this...yes they are fake...the real ones tried to kill me.  i loved it. 

enjoy your sunday! 

thanks for the support ladies,  I ended up venting to my poor husband last night about his Mom and crying and spilling my guts etc.  He took it like a champ and agreed with me that this SUCKS!  It seemed to help us both a little I think.  He knows me and his mom aren't the best of friends and wishes we could be, yet he knows it won't happen.  I spent another day with her today and have to endure her again tomorrow but she flies out first thing Wednesday and I should be safe again until Christmas.  Getty, because of you I have to stop saying my Florida quote, because I LIKE YOU!!!  I always say, "yes, Florida is wonderful.  I know alot of people who have moved there, now if only they would put up a fence and keep them there my life would be complete!!"  Yes, my MIL lives in Fl.

I need to run and get things ready for dinner but wanted to thank you all for supporting me.  I really felt like crap last night.  Msty it made me feel so much better that you word for word described exactly what is going on with me, maybe I am not nuts after all.

Hi everyone!

speech: Be patient with yourself. One mile at a high altitude is fantastic considering you're not even one month post op yet. You're doing way better than me ... my husband and I normally walk every morning at about 6 AM for 3 miles. I have yet to drag myself out of bed for the walk after my MX, and my surgery was almost a month before yours. With the weather being so unbearably hot in Florida right now, it's really the only time that I would want to walk. I'm starting to feel really guilty about that and will probably start walking again in the next week.

Misty: Hi! You're sounding great, too!

Hi Webstersmom! Nice to see you! I hope you're doing well.

Laurie: I'm glad I've changed your opinion of Floridians. I like you a lot, too ... enough to consider allowing your MIL back into the state just to get you a little bit of relief. lol

Getty 

Well, i had my axillary node dissection on July 21, not sure how many came out, i dont go see my surgeon until the 17th to find out results if they found more cancer in my lymph nodes. i still have my infection in my masctecomy incision,, still on antibiotics and i have had a nurse coming everday to my house since June 9 , either to change my drain and dressing and pack my wound.

the day after my node dissection, i ended up in ER, because my drain leaked all over, there was a clot, and it happened twice yesterday, not sure if they have to do something about it.

my arm is killing me, pain, swelling, no strength, numbness, its nauseating.

I go for bone, abdomen and heart scans this week, not sure when i start chemo, i guess after i heal up? my emotions are still going on a roller coaster, try so hard to not let my kids know i am tired and scared.

so tired of hearing people say, oh youll be fine,they will say, oh, my neighbor, or aunt hairdresser's mail-lady, or dog groomers sisters 3rd cousin had it and they are fine,thats good they are better but these comments dont make me feel better, were they their whent these people had their surgeries or chemo,etc. or having a bad day, or through all their pain, i dont think so, one older woman had the nerve to say to my daughter at work, thats no big deal,that her neighbor went through it(and she knew i went through a mastecomy and a node dissection and all the problems)

We are having the best summer in years and i cant enjoy it, i cant wait until next summer, i just want to jump into a lake and cool off, and splash around and have fun with my kids and grandbabies.

hoping to have a better day today, sue

To all: Robin is getting closer to a date!!!!!!   I think she might actually have one...Robin?  Any news for us?!

Marmalade: I sure hope that infection clears up.  Did they clear you for taking stuff like ecchinacea to build-up your immune system?   I hope you get over this quick so that you can move on with this process.  I, too, have an infection and have been on Cipro for a week and although I feel better, I don't think it is gone.  I hope we both get over these as it is holding up my next steps also but the way I look at it is there must be a reason "our" next steps are being held up by infection.   I feel my body must need this time for something?!  I can only speculate!

Getty: get packing!  I would just love the life...riding my bike to the open-air market, buying a piece of fish and some fruit and vegetables and riding back home on my cruising bicycle!   Laid back life in Italy.  OMG...speaking of which, I think we need more bicycle lanes etc.. in our country but, having said that, I totally forgot Amsterdam is a nearly bicycle-exclusive city.  There is one in this country in Michigan but the point here is more exercise and seeing more of the places we travel on a bicycle is a nicer life.  I wonder how they ride bikes in Michigan in those winters?!? People of all ages ride bikes in Amsterdam. 

Somanyblessings: every time someone says "you will be fine," think, say and *feel* 'yes, you are right, I will be fine' as the mental effect of that is wonderful for you.   Don't forget we live in a fairly self-absorbed society where people are leading busy lives largely contingent on their ability to maintain good health.  Cancer scares people and, again, that self-absorbed tendency comes out when they say 'you will be fine' because they are trying to move away from the sickness talk and placate themselves about the manageability of catastrophic health event.  The stronger you appear the less scared they will be.  Don't ever forget cancer scares the ____ out of everyone.   They are not trying to minimize what you are going through; they are just afraid.

Kitwe: I am so glad you spoke with him and started a dialogue.   You can remind him the news ones won't go under your arm when you lay down!!!!  Perhaps that will bring him back around!  Keep talking about it though and eventually that will lead to some light-heartedness about the situation and you can move on.  I am so glad you started talking.  It is challenging for us and our men to adjust to this new set!

BTW, speaking of new sets, I am so happy with mine even though they are TE's!!!!!!  I was so &^%$# tired of those fat sacks hanging of my chest, there are not enough words.   Had I not gotten bc I don't even know if I would have gotten a reduction because I really did not know I was bothered by them.  I don't even like to wear the puffer inserts that came with the camis so I am not anymore.  I just want small, athletic boobs that don't move!   I guess they say watch what you wish for!!!!!  Thank you bc!!!!!  I know...you all think I am bananas but perhaps I make you laugh?!  Just a little?!.....

Liz

Liz: You make me laugh ... a lot. You're the perfect embodiment of the saying "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade." Tuscany sounds better to me, though. The weather is warmer year round. I am a Florida girl after all.

Kit: I'm glad you talked to your husband. Sometimes it's easy to forget that this whole thing is really rough on our spouses, too. 

robin I am really sorry to hear about your coworker--it shocking that he was just diagnosed.  Do you know him personally?  I am sorry for his family, too.  I hope you are able to get some action towards your treatment.  I can't imagine waiting so long for answers.  I hope you have a better day today.

Laurie one more day!  Hang in there!

Kit   great for you to opened the communication with your husband--what a relief for him to be able to tell you his feelings and for you to share yours.  Hope you continue to share and understand and help one another throught this terrible journey.

Yesterday was my first day back to work (4 weeks after surgery).  I was so nervous about making it through the day and remembering where I left off, but all went really well.  I was so glad to see all my "kids" and their parents and to do something very normal.  My schedule is not as packed as it was 8 weeks ago when I left to have my first surgery--so that is a blessing. 

Wishing you all something wonderful in your day!

Hi all,

Not much new out my way. My time at home is almost up. I am scheduled to go back to work on Monday 8/2. HR has already called me to confirm that is my back to work date. I am off all narcotic pain meds, and with the help of a pillow for the seat-belt, able to drive. The only thing I am not sure what do about is my head. Still not enough hair to go topless, so I guess hats it is. Way to hot for hamster (wig). I am also scheduled for a fill that morning, my second one - yea!

My left arm has been bothering me, not sure what is going on there. It is the side of the SNB, so maybe something got aggravated with the bmx surgery. It is really sore by the end of the day. I prop it up on a pillow at night.

I still can't sleep on my sides, to painful. I wake up every morning with a sore back and sore neck. Not fun. Have been doing my arm exercises for 1 week now.

Hope everyone is doing well! 

Robin-I don't even know what to say...that is just such a loss and such a sad situation for you to have to deal with at this time. I can only tell you there are several, several different types of cancer and they all spread at different speeds etc... but, in the end, cancer is ubiquitous, affecting people all over the world. I was talking with a great mind in medicine years ago at Sloan when my mother went there for what turned out to be a benign tumor. He told me he thinks it is in the water. I have to also admit an ESPN reported, dx'd with an awful strain of very aggressive bc in 2008, died yesterday at 43 yrs old. I have to admit it both scares me and touches me a bit but everyone is different. My father and BIL were dx'd with lung cancer 2 yrs apart, both smokers. My father died 3 years later and my BIL is still alive....who knows? Be happy and hope for the best. I am so sorry you had to deal with that especially at this tumultuous time of possibly switching your BS/PS team. I am going to tell you, changing my BS/PS team in the very last minutes was the best thing I ever did. The best thing I ever did; don't worry...I doubt you will be on the recrimination highway for doing so. I don't care what anyone says-things happen for a reason.

Kitwe: I am so glad things are going better with you and your husband. My question for you is how are you feeling healthwise?

Speech: back at work....look at you! That is good news and I am glad your work load is less AND you were able to make it through the day without feeling too wiped out. The smallest little things knock me out like yesterday I did a little work in the yard and took my cat to the vet and I took a 3 hour nap....but I am still working out though!!!!!!! I don't miss my daily workouts for anything and I push myself through!

Getty: I am glad I entertain you! Just think how entertaining we will be, drunk on wine, riding our bicycles over the Tuscan hills to the market to purchase something to absorb the wine!!!! Good times, sister, good times!!! Speaking of which, I was slightly inebriated when I failed the rental moped test on Block Island in front of my sister who will NEVER let me forget!

StCards: HAMSTER!!!!!!! LOL!!! That was good! I am totally off the pain meds for over a week now, sleeping on my stomach again but I put my foobs on a pillow!!!!! A cushion for the royal foobs (expanders)! Sometimes I have a little pinch in the arm on the affected side but overall I am feeling ok. I am sure what you are feeling will get better in time. I think there really needs to be exercise physiologists for bc patients as a fundamental part of the entire process so someone can give us guidance on when and when not to lift, what we can do etc.... There are no definitive answers and I am like a caged bull right now, gazing at my home gym, where I only work my legs, ride my bikes, do yoga, use my stepper and do some homemade step routines. Inside I am screaming 'when can I work my arms and shoulders again' and the reason it is only in my head is there is no one to ask! I hope you get enuf fur back soon to lose the hamster permanently! I am heading into hamster Ville myself!

Laurie: It is Christmas in July, sister! She is gone!!!!!!!! Whoo hoo!!!!!! This is good news. I still cannot believe she likened your situation to other's with cosmetic knifings! Glad for you she is gone. Lizzy is NOT relaxing! I do 45 minutes on the recumbent, work my legs, walk around my house which comes up to about ½ mile I guess but I try to increase it daily and I do some yoga, ab work and homemade step routines but I mix it all up. Much like you, however, my energy does dip but I also think that is the lack of appetite etc... First I have to get the sleep back under control, b/c I seem to like 3AM - 11 AM, and then I will get working on the appetite and I am going to make a plan B for days where I just have no appetite. I can't answer your question about fills until Aug 6 but I do plan to drive myself but I am sure you all already knew that!

Update on me: infection is cleared, first fill next Friday, then I have to get going on the chemo which I wish I could do a "Bewitched" to get by it! Speaking of which, I just found "Bewitched" on TV Land! I loved that when I was young!   I am still, however, tired.  My energy levels are lost in space.   I do get really "crash" tired at times.   Strangest thing I have ever been through.

Robin: a reminder...when I looked into the empathetic eyes of my very handsome PS today, I knew I made the right choice by switching my BS/PS in the 9^th inning. I am in very good hands so don't worry about the switch...it could be the best thing you ever do.

Keep smiling...it works!

Liz