Breaking up is hard to do - thoughts on finishing treatment

I completed my 31st rad today, and with that, my treatment comes to an end.  It's been a long journey, but definitely manageable.  To all those just starting out, you WILL get through it! 

I'm thankful to be on the other side, knowing I threw everything I could at this cancer...  and hoping I go on living, healthy and happy.  

To mark the occasion, I just had to write an official farewell.  Maybe you can relate...

Breaking up is hard to do

I don't know how long you were lurking about my house, but I found you in a dark corner on August 18, 2009. You didn't immediately identify yourself, but I had a good idea who you were. You had already hung out with my sister and I knew you were trouble.

Still, we lived together for a few weeks, didn't we?  During that time, I introduced you to some people, who took some pictures.  Amazingly, in some of them, you pulled a disappearing act - how did you do that?  But in other pictures, there you were, clear as day:  they said you looked like a solid guy, but a little menacing. They said they needed to get a better fix on you. 

(Do you remember I even took you secretly on holiday with me, because I had no choice at the time.  May I say, though, you really did spoil things.)

Soon after, you were identified as the trouble-maker I knew you to be. When I learned you even had a friend about - though smaller and not as nasty - that was emotionally wrenching.  The question was, how would I get rid of you? 

With some professional help, I managed to sever my ties with you on the 15^th of October.  It was

a really painful experience, but I recovered - with the help of family, friends and doctors.

The question was, were you really gone?  On close examination, we found some traces of you still around the house.  That was a devastating discovery, but we cleaned up as best we could.

Even so, the thought of you still lurking about was heavy on my mind and I wanted to stop you in your tracks.  That's why I went with the poison.  I knew it would catch you off guard, would disable you, hopefully even kill you.  (You didn't know I had such murderous tendencies, did you?)  But don't think this was easy for me.  The stress on my system was bad. Over several months, I had headaches, lost my hair, hurt my mouth and feet and fingers, and felt run-down.  But I knew it was nowhere near as bad as the damage I was inflicting on you, you monster.  And that was comforting.

And then, just to be sure you wouldn't find me again, I decided to burn down my lovely house.  It took about 31 tries, but finally the deed was done. Today.  So now, I'm rebuilding in a new space.  It's bright and airy and has no room for you.

I don't need to talk to you anymore, because we're over and done with.  Hear that?  I have prevailed!  I'd tell you to go try your luck with someone else, but frankly, I don't wish your presence on my worst enemy.   To be honest, you're not welcome anywhere. So take a hint, pal. Take a hike.