Starting chemo Sept 05

Prayer,

There are different opinions on this one. Peg's doctor say no. Mine says yes Day 7-13. Well, mine says one glass of wine is okay and also recommends that you make sure you have drunk a lot of non-alcohol so your liver doesn't need to work too hard.

Best to you tomorrow.....

*susan*

Nicole,

Welcome to the other side! Use the next 7 days to gather your strength and be yourself. Hard to believe this difference between day 6 and 7, isn't it?

*susan*

Oh Peg, Don't be impressed by me! I have worked about 18 hours total this round of chemo. Being self-employed means that I can work when it seems possible, but I am clinging to keeping my clients during this treatment.

I have blue eyes though when it is cloudy they look grey.

My daughter is coming home for the weekend and I am hoping that she is willing to take some bald shots for me. To be honest, I simply can't wait to see her.

*susan*

I still cannot get my SO to buzz mine but I took....are you sitting down...the vacuum cleaner to it..LOL. I cannot stand the loose hair thing...falling everywhere...I am shedding worse then the dog (gotta keep your sence of humor).

If I feel up to in in a little while I may go in for a little bit to the office (if for nothing else to socialize a bit and have some lunch). This time has been MUCH easier as far as the side effects. My hair really started to go after this last treatment.
Tina

Finally buzzed my hair this morning. No one wanted to do it so I told them I would be doing it this morning and when they got home it would be done. The whining!!!! Tough I woke up drowning in shedded hair this morning and had no regrets doing it. I now am wearing my doo rag and have plans to go hat shopping.
I am having a terrible time with my sinuses. I called the nurse but I don't have a fever so she says just over the counter stuff. Anybody have any better remedies? I am miserable and over the counter stuff just knocks me out.
I am having a bad day and want to complain about one more thing. I got my period. Day 19, no hair, sinusitus, and my period. Sorry guys I just have to vent, I am feeling lousy.

I've been away from the computer for a day or two...my nurse confirmed that I should stop taking the Avitan and pHenergan if I didn't need it...I think the meds were giving me terrible stomach cramps (gas pains, I think)...so, lol, last night I think I went through 'withdrawal'...didn't sleep very good, but boy do I feel better today!!! Another question...Does anyone wean off their decadron? I'm given two tabs twice a day for three days...I wonder if I would do better with decreasing it a little slower...Just wondered if anyone does this? Well, I'm off to go wig shopping...I'm on Day 9, so I figure it won't be long. I too was told to use Sudafed for the sinus type headaches...but curious why you use Benedryl???To help you sleep?

Oh I forgot
Everytime I think of going for my next session of A/C I get this funny feeling inside and want to run.

Hi Cazza,



That feeling you have is normal. Here is how i accidently found the solution to it. i took an Ativan one hour before i went to my second AC treatment to allieviate my own anxiety. I had gone to cancer counseling two days before to get rid of some fears. My husband drove me to the treatment on the 29th but you could find a ride there. or take the ativan 15 minutes before you arrive if you have to drive yourself.



Then at the treatment session chairs. I looked around me and saw many worse off than me in about 10 chairs around me.



That became my mission and will continue to be my mission for the rest of my treatment hours.



***To scan out the people that seemed to be wanting to talk and interact with me and to speak with them in order to distract us all from our sadness, unhappyness and fears.***



One 35 year old woman had fear in her eyes, she had lung cancer so i asked if she had pets and found out she had a cat. She went on and on about her beloved cat who stayed by her side and i told her all about my big fat orange cat BOB who follows me and sleeps at my feet even if i just go to take a nap. BOB loves a good nap. We began talking about the best cat foods our picky cats like and soon i had her laughing instead of crying.



They all said i looked young for age 50, the nurse said i looked 35 and i told her i could hug her if I had a longer teather (the tubes to the drip) but then to prove my age i pulled out my AARP magazine i had brought to read and joked that after these treatments were over i would look my age or older and feel like 55!



I kept joking about myself and interacted with anyone within earshot asking about them and they were eager to tell me. I was not pushy but if they wanted to talk, a nice opening is to compliment somebody on clothing or shoes. Or ask them what things they like to bring to treatment. Then if they seem chatty, go for it and keep it positive. Make 99% of your conversation NOT about cancer. if you can. unless the conversation seems to sway that way then go with it but in a positive way.



Dont relay your fears to them, try and be there to "ignore your own fears" and to "help them" thru the hours in any way you can if only by caring. Many told me about thier lives and families and if they worked, about thier work and i commented in positive ways and listened. i did not blab too much about myself and all my real estate holdings, i am a real estate investor (money cant buy you health or love) instead i asked about them. i wanted to focus on them.



You know, the nurses came by and asked me to sit in those chairs next time instead of the more desireable "bed area" (I thought they were punishing me for making our corner sound like a rather loud, laughter filled, party) but instead they were demanding I sit there because the other patients were so lifted up by my attitude and it made thier jobs so much easier and more fun!



One elderly lady next to me had Multiple Myeloma so i shared that my Dad had it, i did not get into details since she knew them all. The nurse was starting to stick her (she was afraid) with a needle in the vein and i told her her earings looked so good on her and where did she get those beautiful things from?



You know, as she was answering me and talking to me she looked down and her needle was in there perfectly WITHOUT HER KNOWING IT because i was able to distract her with our conversation and was genuinely interested in her! The nurse gave me a look of 'thanks'.



I went out of that treatment high on my love of people. My heart was singing and i was praying for us all silently.



The nurses thanked me and i told them how great they were. i told them I "guess" i would be back for more in two weeks and to save me a chair! I wished each person I talked to the "best week" and told them i hoped I would see em again.



Remember this my friend, cancer is not all about YOU. Everyone around you that you touch even in a small postive way in love or caring about thier life can make a difference in your life, thier life, and possibly spread love to others "thru each of them that you have touched with love" and then slowly to all this world in a powerful way.



Just one tiny word of kindness or a 5 minute positive conversation during a trying time like chemo treatments can have a large and healing effect. you could be making those people who also dread coming back for more chemo by helping make thier time pleasant. i know i am dreading it less myself after what i was able to do and people i helped. i am looking forward to helping more folks next time too.



You never know who you can help by just giving a good word to. You never know what that word will do for that person. it could make thier day or distract them from thier fear or pain. It most certainly will make YOU feel better at treatment time offering communication, caring and love to others as you ignore your own pain by doing so. And this attitude you can develop can translate into other situations in your life. Every day you can make somebodys day better, a stranger, a friend, anyone. not just during chemo either.



Your own pain and fears and even crying are real but they can be dumped carefully on a "trained cancer counselor "(which they will provide and you can ask for and i have used to help me) or this BC board can help you so that "when you go into your treatment times" you are fresh and ready to help others if they seem open to it by talking and laughing.



Believe me no one likes treatment, it is like we are all embarking on a cruise ship we dont want to be on. But you are doing the right thing by getting this life saving treatment. So, go forth bravely to your treatment and learn to interact with any others that need you! Remember most sitting at treatment with you are worse off than you and need you to cheer them if you can and if they want to talk.



Make it your mission and your goal! And you will not fear treatment times so much. Good luck my friend!

Tina,

A vacuum cleaner? So creative! Isn't your champagne gala tomorrow? Do let us know how much fun you have there. In fact, since I don't have a life right now, give us lots of details!

It is so wonderful that this round was easier for you. Knowledge is a powerful thing.

*susan*

Barb,

All I can say is "WoW!" You are an extraordinary person.

*susan*

Bubbles...have you ever thought of becoming a motivational speaker??? What you said was wonderful and so true!!! I tend to find that if I can laugh about something, or focus on someone else, then what I am going through is not so difficult. I don't see any reason to 'feel sorry' for myself and I don't...I'm so anxious to get this over with and get on with my life...and at the same time give this wonderful life of mine more meaning and purpose. What better way is there than to help others!!! That's what 'life' is all about. Amen. Janet

Janet,
Take it easy on the arm and keep it higher than your heart to let the water come off of it. I would get that way while mowing after the masc and would mow with my arm over my head. Everyone thought I was waving so I did. Stretching it out helped too.

I went to Doctor Friday afternoon about my sinuses. They are infected. I am on antibiotics and Sudafed. I will have to try some of the other things mentioned especially asking for a slower drip. I did feel like the cytoxan brought it on. I might try the sprays too because they do feel dry and swollen. My head is back to feeling like a vice clamp is around it.
My neighbor was over with her 5 year old yseterday. I took my doo rag off and her eyes got huge. We laughed at my new haircut but she wouldn't touch it. I love how it feels and am so glad I buzzed it off.
Well here in redneck land it is time for hunting. My son went to the mtns and Hubby should go Sunday if I am ok. We eat deer meat almost all year long. Hubby's mom is having fits that they are even considering it but I tried telling her the more people act normal around here the better I feel. I might go and stay with a neighbor.
Well it is time to eat again. What a chore. I never thought eating was such hard work. Hope you all are on the good side of a treatment. Thanks for the advice.
Norine

Thanks Bubbles for your encouragement.

It is true that when we focus on one thing, other things fade. In focussing on other people, we don't have as much time to worry about ourselves.

And you are right, focus on other PEOPLE, not on the CANCER.

I am NOT breast cancer. I am not defined by breast cancer. It is something that I HAVE and am dealing with in the best way I can.

Thanks

Hi Norine and Janet. (Tried to put thispost on this morning but computer died!)

I too have always enjoyed eating - the tastes, the textures, the company that comes with it. But, like you, things have changed in the smell and taste department.

I am a confessed chocaholic - it is well known - and as a result gifts of chocolate were forthcoming. Unfortunately, they sit in my cupboard, virtually untouched! Every now and then I'll have a square, because my memory tells me it is wonderful, but I am disappointed each time.

The sweetest thing I handle now is fruit salad: Strawberries, apples, oranges, bananas, passionfruit all in small pieces and easier to eat.

My tastes are for saltier things now: even extra salt on yellow spud (potato + sweet potato mash with butter).

The worst thing for me is rinsing my mouth with bicarb. It has to be done, but . . . In my household, when a 'meal' is finished, the saying is
'I just have to go and ruin my meal now' or 'Go and spoil your tea, Mum'. etc

Hope your tastebuds have a great day!