Chemo June 2010

Isla - love the "mild stress" thing!  What a bunch of BS!!!

Julia2 - don't you love when family comes to visit???  Like you don't have enough going on in your life - chemo, work and now cleaning for family.  You should not clean and give them a mop and cleaning supplies when they arrive.  Tell them you really need the help and the house should be sanitized.  Spray some Lysol all the time and be a really annoying cancer patient.  That ought to cure having house guests!!!

Jackie - I forget about the hair thing too.  My friend was going to stop by today.  I made sure I had my wig on in case she does.  I'd probably scare her little boys if I opened the door with my GI Jane look!  LOL!

DEb - you have the same GI Jane look that I do.  You look good in the wigs. 

CEBsmom - I am triple negative and they gave me TC as an option for chemo.  I opted for AC/T because I had 2 onco's recommend it.  I think both regimens are effective. That's what the onco at Sloan Kettering told me. 

I got my blood work done yesterday.  They said my counts were low and to go home and rest. So, I made a big deal about it to my mom who is staying with us right now (she moved here and is getting a new home built).  I told her the HOUSE HAS TO BE CLEAN!  I've struggled with her doing cleaning beyond helping with dishes a couple times a week.  My house is relatively clean, but I wiped down all the handles with anti-bacteria wipes.  I cleaned the kitchen counters and appliances,  then vacuumed the house and did some laundry.  My mom felt bad watching me clean, so she mopped the floors.  My husband has been helpful, cleaning up after the pets and washing the bathrooms and dishes. 

OK day 5 after my second treatment and I feel like crap. Exactly the same timing as my first treatment. Stomach is fine - I have opposite problem of some of you - all I want to do is eat, eat and eat. But I have a wicked sore throat, feel very foggy and groggy and weak. Can't really function. Just laying on the couch miserable feeling like someone drained all the strength out of me. Anyone else feel really really weak from AC? Just wondering...

DesignerMom- post your website, I'd love to see your work!

WorkMother- DEFINATELY try to go away if you can, even just an overnight trip, I think it will make you feel better. Bring all your "supplies". I'm planning to take a weekend trip soon.

Hello all - I'm still here but just barely. Lord help me.

TMarina~I have been trying to work a 'normal' schedule this week at work, and have not done well at all.  I keep trying to guess which days are going to be my "good" days, and which days are going to be my "bad" days.  I had to leave work on Thursday, I was so weak, sick and totally exhausted!!!  I slept basically from the time I got home at 11:00 or so that morning until I had to get up for work the next morning.  I am on weekly Taxol and Herceptin for now.  In August I will start FAC every 3 weeks x 4.  I just don't know if I'll be able to continue working like I am trying to do.  For the most part I feel pretty ok, just get so discouraged when I can't do what I want to do!

Getting used to being 'bald', but for some reason, it's really hit hard this week on my emotions.  Does anyone else feel that way?  I gotta get out of this slump!!!

am day 6 after 3rd ac, and can see that tomorrow i should be feeling much better hopefully. had a bad time after the chemo. this evening i got really upset and screamed at my 2 yr old (who was just being a typical 2 yr old) and felt really bad afterwards. seem to have given myself heartburn from getting so upset at her.

i don't know how those of you who are working manage to do it - i stopped working and went onto disability with my first tx - i need all my energy to deal with my 2 yr old, my house, and all the dr appts i have.

anyone with a port-a-cath had problems with it? I had mine put in 10 days ago, and i feel like it is pressing on my throat and making it hard to swallow, especially when i am lying down. I am going to have x-rays on tuesday so they can check its location.

I got my cancer tote bag from www.thelydiaproject.org today - it's really cute and they put all kinds of things inside too. It's free for anyone undergoing chemo - take a look.

 Has anyone signed up for www.chemoangels.net? It sounds like a nice idea, but I never heard back from them, and i emailed to check if they got my application and still no word from them. Maybe it's no longer in operation?

sherry , please feel better!!! i feel so bad...i pray for you...

latte,my port has been ok since day one, never had those feelings, get it cked out.. i did hear from chemo  angels, they sent me a b day card...

workmother,i always have a sore throat after chemo and my neck and back hurt...

as for me im having the worse days ever, i feel fine, just my emotions are a wreck!!! im so depressed and scared and i feel i cant take any more!!!!! i dont know what is wrong with me...i cry everyday.. ive been taking that atavan every day to keep me calm.... i know its wrong but it puts me to sleep and i dont have to think...im sorry to be so down.. i was supossed to have a period but i guess that is over now, im a scared kitten and cant take any more. going to get blood work is like d day for me.. i dont know what else they will find...

Cheyanna, hang in there. I think part of the emotional roller coaster has to do with the chemo-induced menopause. Our bodies just don't know what to do. It's like extended massive pms for me right now. I went off on one the nicest guys at work the other day, and that is not like me. I called him an apologized, and he of course was really nice about it. I've told my closest co-workers about the chemo-pause thing so they can "head me off at the pass" if they see me going off the deep end emotionally and tell me I'm on a rant before I realize what is happening. I think the depression is totally normal too. Don't hesitate to ask for an anti-depressant to get through this. It is better than daily ativan! This seems like the hardest time, right in the middle. In the beginning, we still have our energy and we are psyched up to get through, and I hope at the end we can see the light at the end of the tunnel, but right now, we are far enough in that our initial energy is sapped, and we aren't close enough to the end to feel encouraged that we are almost through. But we will be soon...so hang on, sister!

tmarina-  I'll be thinking of you tomorrow.  You are such a trooper.  I know you will weather this one too.  We'll be right here when you surface.

RS711-  You and a few others have asked to see my designs. It's www.karinalexis.com  Also, I just created a  discount coupon just for you guys.  Just PM me and I'll give it to you. 

sherry!!!  Oh I'm sorry you are getting beat up again.  Hang in there, it won't last forever.

cheyenna-  as you are still having a lot of anxiety, I think you might want to see someone who can help you with this aspect of bc.  Talking with someone can really help.  Also, they can review your meds.  They might be able to prescribe something mild for the totally understandable anxiety and fear you have.  Your Onc can take care of the physical stuff, but I think you need a doctor to focus on your emotional health.  I agree, you don't want to keep popping the Ativan.  That would be the ultimate insult if you ended up in rehab after all this!  You can do this.  Please get some extra help.

I know there are others out there beginning or getting chemo this week.  You are all in my prayers! 

One of my coworkers called it menopaws, and did a swiping motion through the air with her hand while hissing like an angry cat. It was too funny!

janny99 - I love your profile pic with your baby and the matching hats.  So cute!!

Sherry - talk to us... what's going on?  What SE's do you have this time.  I worry about you.

Cheyenna - sorry to hear you've been so down.  I haven't had depression, but have had a couple upset moments.  Then again, I've only had 2 treatments.  I don't feel any menopause symptoms.  I feel so bad for you.  Definitely mention it to your onco.  Sometimes they have programs for that or people to refer you to.  We have a caring place here in Vegas that's for cancer patients.  They have all kinds of programs, including support groups.  I haven't visited it yet, but I'm interested.  I met some girls from this board that are local. They've been a big help, too.

So,besides having some nausea symptoms still, I have the WORST CHEMO BRAIN!!! I can no longer multitask.   I have to really concentrate on what I'm doing, which makes it very difficult at work.  I have a very busy job and cannot think normally.  I have totally forgotton 2 conference calls this past week.  And I have it on my Outlook calendar.  This is not normal for me at all.  I have to write everything down and completely lose my train of thought all the time.  IT SUCKS!!!

Hi All--

Have an appt w/ my onc and chemo #2 today.  Also, I'm still kind of stunned that I went from ER+ 79% to Triple Neg. Never in my wildest dreams did i think that something like that could happen.  I've contaced MD Anderson in Houston (about 5 hours drive).  I want to meet w/ someone that specializes in TN.  Right now my onc is just gen and I was fine w/ that because ER+ is most common and so treatable.  FEELS LIKE I GOT THE DIAGNOSIS ALL OVER AGAIN, so it was real crappy weekend.  Feeling better this morning.  I'm also going to a feel better program to help w/ scarves, makeup etc.  My wig, scarves and hats are coming today.

Sherry---I hope you are feeling better.  Gotta just put your head down and go thru w/ your armor of choice on!  Most days my armor is God's armor, sometimes it my 'Queen B%$ch' armor.  They are interchangable, you know

Julie--I agree w/ the other suggestion--decrease salt (Na) but also increase potassium (K)Oranges, potatoes, bananas as long as not overripe.  My undergrad degree is in nutrition, for what it's worth.  Just to bore you w/ the details abit--na and K both regulate fluid in and around the cells.  Obviously don't eat a  pound of each -- just one or two a day while you are pushing fluids. 

Chey--I agree w/ others you really can't keep popping ativan.  It's very good feel good pill but w/ that comes unwanted habits.  You really need to look at a small dose of antidepressent.  I take lexapro (10mg) and it's not contraindicated w/ my chemo.  This will allow you to still have emotions but not 'over the top emotions'.  I was on it before and have not had to increase it--Thank God!!  With something like that then you can rely on your ativan for only the extreme anxiety, if needed. And don't forget a good cry is so helpful at times!  Hope you are feeling better.

Well, I've run out of my '2 cents'.  Off to do my exercise and take my daugher to summer camp and then on to chemo camp.

Blessings and ((((((())))))) to you all today!!

Love u,

Melinda

CEBsMOM and TMarina,

thanks for the advice re: salt and potassium.  I do not feel I'm a big salt eater, don't salt my food, but it's in everything processed, especially drinks.  I see the soda water, tonic water and orange/carrot juice I've been slugging down all have salt, and the juice doesn't even have potassium!  I dug around in the fridge and found some dried figs, 0mg sodium, 240mg, so i'm chewing on those!

cebsmom-  I think it is VERY wise to get a knowledgeable 2nd opinion.  I thought it insensitive and wrong that your Onc's office mailed your Path report (especially as it had CHANGED) without discussing it with you first.  Even if you have to travel to determine the best treatment, I'm sure the prescribed course can be administered closer to home.  I love, love, love your different personas...God's armor, B$%^&*ch armor etc....I bet we can all think of a few more "armor".  I, for some reason have put on my cleaning/organizing armor.  I think it gives me some sense of control in this crazy uncontrollable time.    As you have a background in nutrition, I'm counting on you to let us know ways we can boost things from that end!

cheyenna- the first thing I think you should do is tell your Onc you need to see someone who can help you with the anxiety and possible depression.  I know you said you were always a happy girl.  These chemo chemicals, and this situation may have changed your outlook and even your body chemistry, hormones etc. Let a professional help you with this.  Even if you get some meds, it could just be temporary while you go through this mindblowing experience. 

Miss Kitty-   About all those folks in your house who don't seem to be helping with cleaning! Sometimes people are "stupie" as my son and I say.  Also, sometimes they don't want to presume.  Something that has helped me help all my "want to help but don't know how" friends is a list of chores on the fridge.  That way, when they ask "what can I do?"  you can say "there's a list on the fridge, pick anything and it will help."  Not to mention, with your chemo brain kicking in, YOU might not remember anything to tell them!

 Have a wonderful day everyone.  I'm off to see Toy Story 3 with my 11 year old son.  I know I'm going to cry, as my guy is growing up just like Andy.My friend told me her 17 YO son and his friends also confessed to crying.