June 2010 Mastectomy

Happy Birthday, Joy!!!!!! You are right to celebrate life! Enjoy your mom and your sister and the anticipation of your beautiful baby! I, too, wish we could all sit down for a cup of coffee and a chat.

Happy birthday, Laurie's husband!! 

Melissa: I'm sorry that you're feeling down right now. Your "anticipation phase" has lasted a long time and that is exhausting in and of itself. We're here for you whenever you need us.  

And a happy 4th of July to all of the June ladies from the USA!

Getty 

Melissa-

Our situations are so similar except for our age.  I just turned 40, was dx'd April 17th, had to fire my first surgical team and get a new one (long story but inner compass was saying NO on the first team!), my family are all gone except for a brother who lives 2000 miles away and we are not close, and I have a boyfriend who is good but he is not a live-in so I was pretty much in your position. 

I have to TOTALLY agree with Marmalade that I could kick myself in the ass for doing so much worrying about nothing pre-operatively.   Plus you will be stunned at the outpouring of support from your friends and neighbors..stunned.   In fact, the one thing is, and I think I am speaking for everyone, when I tell you the tiredness after surgery makes for not the greatest hostess!  Seriously sometimes I can't wait for people to leave because I have a date with my pillow!!!!!!!  You will be fine, you will have support and don't worry yourself over nothing.  I will PM you my phone number and use it anytime you want.   If you have questions or are feeling down, call me.  One thing everyone I know agrees about is I an be pretty entertaining!

You have support around you there and here on this website.   This last part is a little spooky but I have to tell you: my dad and I were very close and he died of (smoke-induced) lung cancer 11 years ago.  My second night home after surgery I had a dream he opened my bedroom door, in my current home, and was staring at me sleeping with the most worried look of concern and the dream was in the most vivid color.  I really felt like he was there.  I am not too spiritual but I think we have support that we don't even know  about.

I hope you are happy today and don't worry about anything.  

Now I want to bitch!  I am tired of having to pin up these damn drains everytime I just need to run to the store!!!!!!!   One of them is still putting out over 250 cc's a day and the other 2 are putting out less than 80 combined.   Tuesday is 2 weeks since surgery....when will this end????!!!

Ok, I am done!
Liz

Melissa,

I am so sorry you are feeling so down and anxious.  Trust me when I say the hospital stay is so so not scary.  Now, it may be a little irritating because someone is constantly waking you to talk to you, check on you, take vitals, etc. But it is also kind of reassuring that someone is always watching over you, by this I mean medical personnel.  So try to take some comfort in that.  It also will go very quickly, more so than you realize because you will be pretty medicated. You have remained so positive through all this, you are due your down days for sure.  Just hang on and try to find some comfort in the fact that all the June ladies have found it to be easier than expected!!!!  Strength waves to you!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jeanne: I am out of work until the end of August plus I have chemo to deal with so that is the way it looks right now.  Yes, btw, I also agree if you have a normal day you have crash out for a day!   I don't know about everyone else but my surgery was like 6+ hours and that kind of surgery takes a lot out of you.  I think it might be a few months, and a lot of protein, before we resume energy.  Don't forget about blood loss during surgery...those red blood cells are tantamount to energy and the whites are flying around fighting cancer and heal scars so our bodies are a healing war zone right now.   Someday we will be able to down hill ski again and not have to take an immediate nap!!!!!!!

JBL a little trick, and just in case you missed it, using lotion to strip the drains is great.   No burning of your skin or gloves and it is effective.   I only go out b/c like this morning I was out of milk and I just ran to the store where some imbecil saw a piece of the drain line hanging out from under my Yankee shirt and I just said "breast cancer" and he just stared at me.   It is better to tell them before they arrive at their own conclusions!!!!!

Misty the every 2 hour vital sign check was such a pain!  I know it is good for us but it seemed like there were constantly knocks at my  door!  I was glad to go home.

Watching the Macy's fireworks on tv...I used to be THERE watching them but I do, now, prefer my bed and air conditioning to a humid night, shoulder to shoulder, on the river in Manhattan!

Liz

Hi Ladies,

I am doing my nightly routine of reading the boards before bed.  I am inspired by you all...just sayin. In so many ways I feel blessed and in so many ways I thinking that I really missed going to beach with the fam and seeing real fireworks.  I am still in pain, although it is less.   Tonight I was second guessing my decision and my DH reminded me that two years from now when this is a memory, I will not have this discomfort and hopefully will be on my way to being a real "survivor".   The worse pain is on my SNB and my other under arm...and the hot flashes from the TAH prior is another real nucense!  Ok, just venting to who ever reads this as if it will change things...

MRDRN

You gals are great! Thanks so much for your support! It's true that sometimes we get in the dumps along this journey. Saw a wise girlfriend tonight at a party to watch the fireworks off Malibu Beach, all four displays - they were beautiful. She asked how am I doing and I said "flowing down the river watching everything pass by and remembering from time to time that I'm approaching the waterfall and will soon go over the edge." She said, "good, good, I'm glad you're doing so well." ha ha. Guess sooner than later I will join you in bed rest, pain pills, constipation, and drain patrol and control. At an earlier party a friend brought the poofies that fit into the soft cammies she gave me that she used when she had her LMX. When she first gave it to me a month ago I gave her back the poofies, but now realize since I'm having half size TEs I won't have much there for a while, even though I'm small, a 32C, so the poofies will pad the wounds and give some semblance of something there. Also, the oncology center where I had a consult with the onc dr. gave me a medical MJ letter to take to the dispensary. I didn't ask for one, but their pharmacist said it was best to use "multiple modalities" so more to explore! Am concerned that the PS said he will do a neurectomy on the Major Pectoralis, and since I am a very active, rather athletic person, that won't do, as it will make me lose strength and the muscles atrophy. So have to talk with him at the pre-op Tuesday and see if he will forego that part of the surgery. So complicated! I hope you are all resting well, and comfortable as possible. Liz, will call you - thanks so much for reaching out! Love to all! Melissa

lizzymack1 - I too am exercising, but have not noticed that my drain output is high. I do about 1/2 on the treadmill with no arm movement. My right side is averaging about 8 to 10 cc's per day - and the left side is about 25 to 28 cc's per day. I believe the left is higher due to # 1 that was the cancer side, and # 2 I had 2 lymph nodes removed in Jan, and 2 more came out with the bmx tissue. My PS is taking both drains out tomorrow as she does not keep them in longer than 2 1/2 weeks. But, my drain output was never that high to begin with - highest was 60 per drain per day and that was the first few days after surgery. I started with 4, two on each side, and one from each side were removed a week ago. It could be the number of nodes that were removed is affecting the amount of drainage maybe.

I also have redness around the tubing by the skin and have been using antiobiotic ointment daily. It appears my skin is trying to heal around the tubes. I can't wait for them to be gone!

So, about pain meds, I am on my third bottle already, I keep trying to go longer and longer without, but the tissue expanders hurt in areas where the skin is not numb! I so want off these meds, but this pain is not easily managed. How are you guys coping that went after me and already off the meds? Plus I have notice a green colored bruise on one side of my chest below the incision. I sure hope that is not an infection or something nasty going on there. Good thing I go to see PS tomorrow.

The Hot flashes have got to go - good thing I see that Dr tomorrow as well. I can't believe my stomach is still somewhat bloated from the ooph surgery. I though it would be gone by now.

Ducki - numbness is normal as nerve endings were severed. Very rarely to people have any sensation left in the breast area after bmx surgery.  

I am out of work for 6 weeks to recover from this surgery. Did not take anytime off when I went thru Chemo as I was able to work from home during treatment and bad se days. Since I still have at least 2 more surgeries to go, I also needed to save my STD as I only get 10 week at full pay, the balance is at 60% pay. 

Doing Chemo first, I waiting for surgery since Dec 2009, so know where you are coming from Melissa! Once the date got set - it was still almost a 7 week wait, as my body needed to recover from the Chemo se's. I had surgery even though I will still slightly anemic from the Chemo.

Hi Everyone.

Regarding drains & activity - I have been pretty inactive, altho I was so impressed w/you, Lizzymack, I have been trying to get on the treadmill daily but just doing 10 to 20 min at very low pace. My drains were running pretty low, down to about 30 on left, 45 on rt, until yesterday when all went awry, rt drain is fixed now & working but left does not seem to be draining at all. I have a call in to the BS who is probably closed. I was told to resume activity as I felt able, & encouraged to walk. I have my 1st post surgery fu appt. Thursday but was hoping to change it to tomorrow.

I too have been trying to get off the pain meds, but same thing as you StLouiscard- I am really sore around the expanders. I take hydrocodone & take in 1/2 pill doses, probably 2-3 times a day. Today I've had nothing but need it now....but took some tylenol a few hours ago so need to wait a few hours since this hydrocodone has tylenol in it. My breasts, what there is of them, seem swollen to me, especially under the arms, in fact I think I have more under the arm than on my chest! My rt breast which had been radiated 9 years ago is quite a bit smaller and very very bruised, I am talking initially it was black, now turning nice shades of purple and red. Very hard to look at but post op the BS/PS both said it was great.

Took a shower/washed my hair & then had a guest so I am off for a nap....I'm exhausted from just that. But somehow getting into the rhythym of just "being" instead of "doing"....hard for me but good practice.  I am celebrating being one week post surgery, I know each week will get better.

jane

thanks everyone...I guess I should just be grateful they hopefully removed the cancer and I can take a shower and stop complaining about the drains!!!!!!   They did take 18 nodes on the side where the draining is super high so perhaps there is a connection.

If you have to take the pain meds, take them.   I will tell you all one reason I am off of them:  naturally we are all in the generics with our med plans and when I left the hospital they gave me oxycodone 5-500 which was just fine with me.   They worked well and I was ok.   When I went back to my PS I asked for another prescription and they gave it to me but this time I got 7-750 (?) so I looked it up and those are stronger ones.   Well, I went to CVS to fill the prescription and when I got home, was in pain and took 1/2 a pill and I promise you it felt like I took NOTHING.  I then took the other 1/2 and still nothing.   I waited 18 hours to see if that pill would  start to kill my pain and it never did.  I called a friend who has been pain meds on and off for a while and I know nothing about them so she told what happens is there is a reason why generics are cheaper.   Apparently there are several different companies in the generic manufacturing arena and some are more advantageous than others so they either cut way back on the narcotic or make a batch here and there that are basically blanks all so they could make some coveted MONEY. 

It was not until the beginning of the long holiday weekend I realized these pills were bad b/c I had a few left from the old rx.   So I had no docs to call, no pain meds, and no options this entire holiday weekend.   This is why I am off the pain meds and I wake up in such dreadful pain between the te's and their discomfort overnight and the burning at the tube insertion points, don't get me wrong when I explain I am off the meds b/c if CVS was not selling bum generics, I would be comfortable this weekend.   Instead they, I am sure, are in on the money game of issuing "blanks" so I hope they are all happy they made a few bucks on a person with breast cancer!  Capitalism....ain't it great?!

So StCards, even though I think the Yankees rule, we would definitely both still be on the same pain meds team if I had any!!!!!!!!!!

Hi everyone, I'm feeling down, I still don't have an appointment, I've started harassing the breast nurse and if I don't get an appointment soon I'm going to go straight to the surgeon. I'm trying not to dwell on it right now, but I'm starting to feel angry.

Sitting by the pool sounds lovely - mines a gin and tonic....  I think you'd get a chill over here - it's pretty windy just now

Liz, I'm sorry to hear that you are having such a torrid time, it seems that everyone's recovery is indivual and unpredictable - it sucks.

Laurie, you are doing great...... watch that lego under foot!

Robin

lizzymack1 - so sorry to hear about the pain med issue from CVS - that is terrible. Hope you have gotten some relief now.

I met Webstermom today - we are both being treated at the same facility and have the same oncologist. I saw PS and gyn oncologist, she was seeing PS and BS.

Laurie08 - pain in back muscles - yep, had that too. It gets better.  

I met with PS today - final two drains removed today - wahoo!  They are finally gone! I had the JP drains, and honestly - they did not hurt when they were removed. The tube was smooth. I looked in the mirror after it was out just to see how much was under my skin - yikes - no wonder why my sides were sore! Was supposed to have my first fill today, but it was delayed due to pain level. I asked about the pain meds, and PS gave me the ok to take ibuprofen starting tomorrow to see if that will help with the muscle discomfort. I am only sore in the areas were the skin is not numb. So basically around the whole edge of the te! The bruise that I had mentioned previously was completely normal. 

Also, the soreness and redness around the drain tubes was my body trying to heal. It was not an infection, yea! 

Healing vibes to all! 

Ok girls....went to the docs today.   I kind of found out why my drains won't stop pumping....because (don't yell!)....I have been weight lifting!!!!!!!  I was harshly admonished for my behavior today!  I felt if I thought I could do it then why not?!  Well, I was told today NO, you cannot do that so I suffer with my drains    I am cleared for the recumbent bike so I will ride my little heart out!   I have to go to an oncologist in 2 weeks and you won't believe this next part:  I also had  ***DCIS*** 3.3 cm tumor!  I cannot believe I had so many tumors in that breast.  I was a little spooked by that.  The invasive one was 2.5 cm...gadzooks.   Lot of cancer activity in that boob!!!!  I really love my surgeon.  She has the best reputation and I understand now why.   I also saw my PS who has such a nice demeanor.  I have to go back on some antibiotics for a bit and my surgeon gave me a replacement prescription for those bum pills I got last week and she wrote it so I will not get generics but the brand name...fine with me.   That was a long, painful weekend but I hate to complain to you girls!  

Joystars: where has she gone?!   I think I concur with everyone else when I, too, wonder her whereabouts!

MRDRN-I agree that we have to check and recheck but what friend told me is you have no recourse to go back to the pharmacy with a prescription that you feel is a "bum" pain med as they will not tolerate any concerns after you have left the building with the bottle.   I guess tonight I will have to sit there and take a pill and sit for 2 hours!   Jerk asses....I bet they know what companies are super cheezy on the generics front and who are not.  I told my doc what happened and I have not had a pain med in 22 years since I had knee surgery so if that bum pill was not working for me then it was definitely a batch where the generic manufacturer did not put any narcotic in it.   Capitalism...ain't it grand?!

Well I hope everyone is doing well.   It was 99 degrees in Connecticut today...yuck!   I do have to go to CVS once again and see if they give me real pills this time and that will be my last trip out today because it is gross out there.

I hope you all are feeling better and better every day.   Don't forget the reason we have all gone through this and that was to say goodbye to cancer and save our lives so all the little problems are just that: little.  We are all more alive today than we were just a few days ago before surgery and hallelujah for that

Liz