My story to you all...

Options
PJ_CZNemeth
PJ_CZNemeth Member Posts: 7

Hello, my name is Cassie and I will be 20 this April.

This is my cancer story and my strength to all of you...

During the summer of 2007 (17 yrs old) my mother started showing odd symptoms on her left breast. It became intensely red and had a similarity to mastitis. She held off, because she didn't like doctors, and thought not highly of it. But when it was still there a week later she became worried. It was only upon a trip online that she self diagnosed what she had...Inflammatory Breast Cancer. She told me and I cried and hugged her and told her "I'm not ready for you to go Mom...". Well she went to the doctors and she kept getting pushed from physician to physician. One took a punch biopsy of her breast and later told us there was nothing and she shouldn't worry. She was even sent to an Infections Disease Doctor. Well finally after being hooked up on to IV's we noticed no imporovement. Little did we know that as Christmas came and went it would be the last joyous one we would have. Over the holiday our insurance changed so we became covered by the Nevada Cancer Institute. She got worse and in February of 2008 she was officially diagnosed with Stage 4 IBC, in her left breast, lymph system, and in her liver. Our god sent angel doctor Karen Milligan treated her as soon as possible. She was on a hard round of chemo...she couldn't even turn over to get juice on the night stand. If we had gone to our doctor a week later it would have been too late. Summer came and I turned 18...and she seemed to be getting better. We beat the monster back...but the wellness we saw was only short lived. I made Thanksgiving that year...and she was so proud. Chrismas came and went but she started to see spots...and upon another visit to our doctor in February of 2009 we discovered it had spread to her brain.  She endured more chemo...and full head radiation...and we stopped it yet again...but not for long...our last summer came...and it attacked her again for the last time. Our doctor who had promised us that when we could fight no more she would tell us now had to fufill this promise. I was now 19.

We put my mother into hospice in the last week of June...on a Monday. On Wednesday evening we noticed that as she slept she looked finally at ease with the pain, and my father and I knew she was not long for the world anymore. Tossing and turning all night brought us into Thursday morning July 2nd, in my pj's I went to get my paycheck from work, not showered not fed...I walked into the room...set my keys down, and turned to be by her side and at that moment...she was gone. Thank god her friend was there with me...that's the most painful phone call I had to make to my father...

My mother was 52, she owned her own business, and was the light of everyone's life...

I want you all to know that even though this cancer is rare and is most fatal, that you have hope. My mother made it two years with this, and set goals, and got to see to most of her goals. Having a positive mindset is what kept her pushing. She had a lot to live for.

Now I check my breasts all the time. My grandmother died of Colon Cancer, my grandfather had melanomas, my cousin had Ovarian Cancer,  and my mother died of IBC. And after having mastitis TWICE as a younger girl I know that my health is important to me. I would have not changed a thing if I had to do this all over again. Working full time, going to high school and taking care of my mother. 

If you need any support please email me, and don't be afraid. I'm willing to share my hope, strength and knowledge with any and all.

CZnemeth@gmail.com

Comments

  • AmyIsStrong
    AmyIsStrong Member Posts: 1,755
    edited January 2010

    Thank you for sharing, Cassie. Your strength is a legacy to your mother and she lives on through you. If you were my daughter, I would be so proud.

  • PJ_CZNemeth
    PJ_CZNemeth Member Posts: 7
    edited January 2010

    Thank you so much :)

  • PJ_CZNemeth
    PJ_CZNemeth Member Posts: 7
    edited January 2010

    She won the battle...she never let the cancer dominate her thoughts...but overall the cancer won the war.

    I am so greateful for how hard she fought and how much courage she had.

  • Faith316
    Faith316 Member Posts: 2,431
    edited January 2010

    Bonnie -- That is beautiful.  "Not giving up the fight, but rather not fighting God's will."  Beautiful.

  • Chaparrita
    Chaparrita Member Posts: 35
    edited January 2010

    Bless your heart Girl, you have my deepest sympathy.  I also have IBC but am in remission now but beginning to have some problems with the breast, yes, I still have the breast.  Oh, I cant tell you how my heart goes out to you.  May the Lord be with you each day.

  • Jadai
    Jadai Member Posts: 182
    edited January 2010

    Awww Cassie, I am in tears reading this.  I lost my dad to lung cancer when I was 25 and my mom to IBC in July.  It really does hit so fast.  My mom did the same....ignored her symptoms....was so afraid of doctors.  My mom made it about 9 months and was doing so well.  Even her Dr was shocked at the sudden turn of events.  He even said to me that if you had asked him how long she had he would have said years based on how well she had been doing.  It's devastating.  If you ever want to talk please feel free to PM me, it is a lonely thing.  Most of my friends have both of their parents and they don't get it.  I am so sorry that you have lost your mom. 

  • PJ_CZNemeth
    PJ_CZNemeth Member Posts: 7
    edited February 2010

    So the other day my father found notes my mother had written for my brother and I. She'd hid them in a drawer and used new notepads and didn't write on the first page so no one would really see them. He broke down, and sent me mine. I recieved it today. I'll post it later for you all to read if you'd like. But I'll tell you the one thing that really meant the most to me was the final line: "Have I told you I love you today? <3 Mommy"

  • cwrightrn
    cwrightrn Member Posts: 242
    edited February 2010

    Cassie--thank you for sharing this.  I know I have emailed you about this and I'm glad you have a letter....blessings

    Carole 

  • ibcmets
    ibcmets Member Posts: 4,286
    edited February 2010

    Thank you Cassie for posting.  I'm glad you found your Mom's letters.  I myself have  been diagnosed 6/09 and have been doing well so far. I also want to write a journal for my 12 year old son.  I just have not started it yet and should do this while I'm well.  Thank you for your compassion for those who are going through the same treatment as your Mom.  I'm sorry for your loss.  I'm sure she is still with you and your family daily in your hearts and watching over you.

    Terri

  • maybeoverreacting
    maybeoverreacting Member Posts: 32
    edited March 2010

    Hi there. My mother died on Nov 25, 2008. She was the same age as your mom. She didn't have cancer, she had MS and passed from a rare type of pneumonia. It is the hardest thing having to give up a mother... a lost feeling. I'm sooooo very sorry for your loss. You were so lucky to have eachother and that is so hard to remember when the pain is overbearing. Take care of yourself. :):):)

    In loving memory 

    Terrie Nash 7/11/57 - 11/25/08

  • PJ_CZNemeth
    PJ_CZNemeth Member Posts: 7
    edited July 2010

    So ladeis...here I am, on the eve of my mother's death, and I'm a total wreck. This last year has just been helter skelter and I hadn't realized how much I've done and how hard I've worked and far I've come since this day last year. I miss her so much with every fiber of my being.

  • in_cognito
    in_cognito Member Posts: 429
    edited July 2010

    You are a wonderful daughter - your mother raised you well.  May your mother rest in peace.  Your mother lives on through you!  Please come to these boards for support when you need a shoulder to cry on.  Thank you for sharing your story. 

  • Faith316
    Faith316 Member Posts: 2,431
    edited July 2010

    Hi,

    I know it will be hard for you today, but try to make it a day to celebrate the relationship that you had with your mom instead of just being sad.  (Although I know that will be there as well.)  

    Remember, even when you cannot see the sun, it is still there.  Same for your mom.  You can't see her but she is still there in your heart.  Make this a day to celebrate your mom and to do something today that she would want you to do.  Think of some of the funny things that you shared and laugh at the memories.  Maybe plant some flowers or a tree today in honor of your mom.  I will pray that God will hold you close this day.  Your mom was lucky to have someone like you for a daughter.  Blessings to you.  

  • apple
    apple Member Posts: 7,799
    edited July 2010

    as Cassie.. I feel for you. 52 is too young and so is 19.  I just lost my mom last week and everymorning i wake up and think... 'i just have to call mom today'.

      Peace to you.

Categories