Feeling Guilty about Drinking
Since I finished with the worst part of my chemo and radiation, I want to enjoy life again. I like to have a glass of wine once during the week and two glasses on Friday and Saturday night. The total is about 5 glasses a week. I asked my onc if this was o.k. and she said that she only recommends an occasional drink. I am highly estrogen positive with some positive lymph nodes (her+ too), and from what I am reading, alcohol increases the estrogen in your body. Is anyone just saying the hell with the research, or are you going with the guidelines? Everytime I drink I feel like I am feeding the errant cells that may have spread.
Comments
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well, i drink....i decided after seeing some of my friends who were totally "health" people die from cancer....and after going through all the treatment...etc....i decided that i wanted to enjoy life and i enjoy my wine.
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I wouldn't feel guilty at all with the small amount you drink. If you're worried, drink red wine -- it had good stuff in it. Or water down a white wine with club soda to make a spritzer. If you like cocktails, drink something with juice as the mix. You must enjoy your life! Otherwise what's the point? You've gotten through this, now go out and enjoy everything there is to offer.
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My girl Elizabeth knows her stuff! I have a book on cancer nutrition (Patrick Quillan) and red wine is not on the list of hateful things. It ranks higher than white wine and beer and way above hard liquor. Summertime is Sangria time.
You seem to be a very, very moderate drinker. I think you need to figure out which is going to make you happier, enjoying your occasional glass of wine or abstaining all together. I don't think either decision is going to protect you against a recurrance, but if it makes you have peace of mind, then that's just as important.
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Sangria -- absolutely! Aww geesh, now I have a craving, and it's only 8AM!!!!
Along the same line, when I was first diagnosed I told my onc I had a comfort food chemo eve habit -- eating a cake. She said sure, go for it -- it psychologically was good for me and it's all about the quality of life. When I go I'll have a spoon of ice cream and cake in my hand and chocolate syrup dribbling down my chin.
If you do feel any guilt, just counter act it with something healthy. It helps a lot. But please, enjoy yourself, you deserve it.
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I am one of the ones who have continued drinking white wine after my diagnosis and even during treatment. Not that alcohol makes life that much better but the wine helps relax me. My husband is in a business that involves a lot of entertaining of co-workers and business associates so we are often in situations where alcohol is involved and I have continued to partake. I have scaled way back but still enjoy a glass or two of wine on a nightly basis. I want to feel as normal as possible and continue to enjoy my life and this is part of my life. None of my doctors have told me to stop drinking although they have advised against a bottle of wine a night but I think they want me to continue enjoying my life also.
There is a fun thread out here called "How About Drinking" where you will find a lot of women who have fun with this very topic.
Life is here to be enjoyed so partake in whatever makes it more enjoyable for you.
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seaofhope....Seems there is so much research on the negative effects of alcohol for us bc fighters that I had to cut waaaaaaay back on my pre-bc intake....I am now awakening on Saturday morns with a fresh new outlook instead of dealing with a possible hangover......As konokat mentioned, you can dilute your wine, I dilute with organic pure concord grape juice, that way I can have a glass or two with less guilt, add some fresh fruit and makes great Sangria...When I chose a beer, I ask for the lower alcohol ones like the Bud 55, has 55 calories, 1.9 grams carbs and has only 2.4% alcohol (this is about 50% less than most reg beers)...
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Thank you so much for starting this topic. I could have created it myself witht he exact title... I have felt so guilty about my wine. I love it. I enjoy every glass of it. And....I'm not giving it up. As I read somewhere else here on the boards- who knows if a "possible" recurrance comes from my nightly glass or two of wine or from the garden hose I drank out of when I was 9. Or the mosquito pesticides they sprayed in my neighborhood as I kid that I thought smelled so great or the charcoal grilled burgers I enjoyed long ago. I am not going to beat myself up over the respite I take from this crappy disease and worry about whether or not I am creating a recurrance. And as I have already said somewhere else on here......if wine is so bad for us I believe there would be a far greater incidence rate of breast cancer among the Italian/French/Greek population.
Cheers. And ....thank you for sharing your "guilt".
Nancy
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I too enjoy my wine. I have moved to reds and try to limit to 2 glasses at the most.
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I always feel guilty!! And I have limited myself to two to three glasses of red a week. Cheating sometimes by adding half a glass....is that cheating? But sometimes, a good glass of Pinot is hard to beat!
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Oh man, I do it too. I have moved to only an occasional spritzer on the weekends, but I don't really miss it. I am an idiot when I drink, I worry about the alcohol after I've had it, and it upsets my daughter if I drink at all.
that said, you should enjoy your life. If you really want something, and unfortunately, being a drinker is now tied to bc (that will most likely be reversed next week, it's always something else coming up), try a spritzer. The bubbles will give you that buzz quicker and you really don't notice it at all.
Does anyone else besides me detest this new "athlethes with breast cancer" thing they have on here? If these uber atheletic types can get it, it makes me feel like what's use. Makes me want to go take a nap, it's so discouraging.
Enjoy your life; you fought for it.
xoxo
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Beer is my beverage of choice, and I too read that drinking, ups your chances of a recurrance. So everytime I have a beer, I feel like I shouldn't be drinking it. I go to the doctor next month and I am going to ask him about it.
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Drinking was never very important to me, so I just cut it out after dx. I think I have had about 3 glasses in the 15 months since this all started. But it was easy since i never cared about it to start with. However, I have read MUCH more about how sugar and dairy are 'inflammatory' and therefore should be minimized, and I haven't done that because those DO matter to me. So I think we all just do the best we can and once decided, there is NO ROOM for guilt. Make a confident decision and then no looking back.
And to add - I have a friend who has managed a health food store for over 25 years - eats SUPER healthy only organic, no drinking, lots of vitamins, supplements, very thin, fit, etc etc etc. Just finished tx for TN bc. So there you go!
WHATEVER you decide to do, don't let guilt and regret steal your pleasure. I feel like then the cancer REALLY wins.
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Amy... you are right. If its not one thing that caused the cancer, it another. How much fun would life be if we gave up sugar: dairy: red meat: alcohol, soda. I am sure there are some out there that do( like your friend) but I can't seem to get it all right.
brenda
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I like wine..no..I love wine..and I'm not quitting it either...I'm sorry..but if everyone that has breast cancer drank alot I may consider quitting..however...I think I'm the only person among my friends and aquaintances diagnosed with breast cancer that drinks wine on a regular basis...plus I know a lot of people that drink quite often..they don't have breast cancer....
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Well, I'm a very bad girl too!!!!
I like my wine and drink more than you do, strange thing is I did'nt before my dx lol....
I don't beat myself up over over it but try to keep it within limits!!!
I dont know what caused my bc, neither does my onc but with an aggressive triple pos that could recurr anytime regardless of whether I drink or not, I dont deprive myself If I want a drink:)
Tricia xx
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I drink as much the wine as I want, grew up in France where a bottle of wine consumed during a meal was just normal - it replaced water, even for the young. I may try to change but not right now, have changed so much else. Also I take folate which some studies suggest offsets potential alcohol impact on recurrence, others disagree, etc. and on and on. Alcohol is also a tremendous help with the pain of arthritis, carpal tunnel, etc. and I am not sure it is that much more risky than all the other drugs we take. Bottom line I think: nobody knows anything much about any of this, not really. So might as well live while you can and have an exquisite pinot grigio or merlot as you wish.
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I used to have a drink regularly, wine - red, white, rosé (depending on the season, or the menu) the odd cold beer on a terrace, sometimes a little irish whisky in front of the fire in the winter or a citrussy gin and tonic with lots of ice at a party. Always the few drinks ensured much enjoyment, fun, story telling, reminicing, confidence sharing, hilarity, even dancing among myself and my friends. After the bc diagnosis and the possible link between alcohol/estrogen and fuelling tumours I have been afraid to drink. Gradually I have begun to have one or two glasses of wine a week and life seems to be soooo much more normal. Surely it cannot be so deadly. Last weekend I attended a party and had a few glasses of wine - it meant that instead of sitting there feeling bored, I had a great time and could dance the night away, laugh and stay up late. When I got back to the hotel I amazed my husband by being interested in sex and actually flung my bra off (amusingly it landed in the chandalier) and had a fun time. My husband is now actively encouraging me to have a glass of wine (because for a few years my vagina was locked when I was on tamoxifen) and unwind - I intend to do so - the summer will be long and HOT I hope! (still however I feel a few twinges of guilt/worry and wonder....).
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I love my coffee flavored brandy and milk. I feel that no matter what I do it will come back. Why not enjoy life??
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I agree with Mari65.
I really don't feel a glass or two of wine is going to feed the cancer...and cause it to come back.
For myself, wine is part of enjoying the life that I have.
Who knows?
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I just found this wonderful thread. I too have been feeling so guilty because I won't give up my wine. I usually have one or two glasses 4 or 5 times a week, although I had an evening like Irish Eyes this past weekend and hubby was pleasantly surprised! Although my mind has been at war between feeling guilty and feeling like what the heck. I will continue to enjoy my wine. Cheers!
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I have breast cancer and if I wanted to listen to everything doctors are saying is bad for you if you had breast cancer from vitamins to beer I should just roll over and die now. If I have stop doing the things I enjoy what's the sense of living half a life. Besides in a couple of years they will change their minds and say beer and multi-vitamins are good for you. You can never win soo why not be happy????
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Irisheyes-what a great story!! Cracked me up (especially the visual with the bra on the chandelier:) Good for you, good for your husband...sex gets a hell of a lot trickier post surgery. No matter what you've had done. Here's to a HOT summer for all of us!
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Hi ladies, I'm in agreement with you all. I had ER positive cancer. I used to drink a lot when I was a young adult and I used to have a few glasses of wine almost every night before BC. I like beer with pizza and sometimes a good martini. I started drinking a lot less when I got DX, but did have wine right up until surgery. Now I am eight weeks out from surgery and it feels like I totally lost my desire for alcohol. My stomach just feels "weird" all the time and I'm not as hungry and not craving alcohol like I used to. I had two beers on Sunday sitting by the pool and it almost felt unnatural to me now. So right now I think if I don't feel like I want any I'm not going to try to start drinking again. I have enjoyed drinking all my life so maybe it's a good thing to not care about it so much anymore. I have a trick when I crave something more than water. I take flavored seltzer and add cranberry juice and lemon and it seems to satisfy me. I do wonder however when my stomach feels better if I'll go back to enjoying wine as much as I used to. I also drank coffee all my life, 2-3 cups a day and after surgery I just don't like it either. I'm not sure if it's my body's way of telling me what to cut out to be healthier (although I know coffee is good for you in moderation and so is wine). Anyway, I think everything in moderation in fine and you have to enjoy your life and not live in the fear of "what if's" Moderation and balance is all we need to be happy and healthy so all you wine drinkers go for it and have one for me!
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Anyone want to go out for a drink?
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Yes, I do but it's not quite noon here yet
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I have always been a social drinker but when I did chemo I lost the taste for alcohol like sweetie2040. I gave it up for a few years after dx. My onc always said it was ok to have one drink a day. I do have drinks now but only a couple of times a week. I sometimes save up my drinks for the week and have 2 or 3 at a time on Fri. and Sat. It makes the weekend much more relaxed.
Irisheyes I enjoyed your story!
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GlennaG-the ironic thing is I found that is easier to keep my weight down when I don't drink. I lost 10 pounds since my surgery which is just probably because my stomach didn't feel right, however when I don't drink I don't eat as much! I used to have wine with dinner and usually had more of a serving size, now I find I am stopping sooner. I want to make sure I keep my weight in check since I have to start Tamoxifen and I don't know if that makes you gain weight. I'm not overweight at all, but I always had just those 5 pounds hanging on, and they left when I didn't drink so for me it's a plus. That being said, if I get the urge for a glass of wine I wouldn't hesitate in moderation.
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Sweetie2040
You hit the nail on the head about weight gain and drinking. I have some extra I would like to get rid of and that is why I have limited myself to weekends. I am a teacher and am on vacation all summer so everyday feels like the weekend.
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Hi,
I quit drinking alcohol for a few months after treatment and felt like a party pooper whenever I was with family or friend. Since that time I have talked to many ladies who are 20, 15, 10 and 7 years out from treatment. Guess what? They all have social drinks and are still NED. So I have started drinking on weekends with family and friend. As a matter of fact, I have quit feeling quilty about it at all. After surgery, radiation and Tamoxifen, I feel like I fought the beast and now I'm ready to have fun again. Also, I know a whole lot of women who had breast cancer and NEVER touched a drink.
Cheers,
Nancy
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I hate that we bear so much guilt about our cancer or its risk of recurrence. I hate that I keep seeing articles, in the news media and in research journals, touting the "modifiable" risks of breast cancer, and always at the top of those lists are body weight and alcohol consumption. It does make it feel as if it was my fault I got BC, at least in part. Oh, and the fact that I waited until I was 35 to get married, and then didn't have any kids? I guess that's my fault, too.
But, those are the facts, modifiable or not.
I do appreciate that I might be able to do something about my recurrence risk. So, if cutting back on alcohol consumption will help, well, ... I'll give it a try. I never was much of a drinker -- one small glass of wine with dinner each night was the extent of it. Oh, there was an occasional (but rare) mixed drink at a party once or twice a year (I preferred wine then, too); and I did sometimes drink half a bottle of beer on a really hot, sweaty day. But never what could even be categorized as "moderate" consumption.
Even so, I've pretty much quit drinking since my dx. I very much like the taste of halfway-decent wine and real beer (not that p*ssy "light" stuff). So, now on rare occasion (like when dh opens a wonderful bottle of Riesling or a special microbrewery beer), I'll pour myself a small glass. He still has his wine with dinner; but I drink coffee or water.
I rationalize my not-drinking this way: 1) Alcohol has calories; and those 15 excess pounds I've been carrying around since I hit menopause 7 years ago really need to be shed. It's very, very hard for me to lose weight now, between menopause, Arimidex, and sheer laziness. Cutting back on alcohol might help (although it hasn't so far); and 2) There's that nagging possibility that drinking as little as one glass of wine a day could add to my risk of recurrence.
I went through 4 rounds of Taxotere & Cytoxan, knowing it would only cut my absolute risk of recurrence by 5 or 6%. I'd hate to learn some day that continuing to have wine with dinner each night had cancelled out that lovely chemo experience.
OTOH, we do what we can, and we try to forget about the rest. For me, cutting back on wine and beer hasn't been a big hardship. We hardly ever socialize; and many of our relatives are absolute tetotalers (<sheesh!>) for various reasons. But, one reason why I liked having wine with dinner each night (pre-BC) was because it might be cardio-protective. And, with my family's awful history of heart disease, I'd always assumed that was what would get me ... not breast cancer. Go figure.
otter
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