just diagnosed and scared

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rackie
rackie Member Posts: 192
edited June 2014 in IDC (Invasive Ductal Carcinoma)

on friday i got the news that i had idc and 3 out of 5 lymphnodes were infected.  i am so scared, especially with the lymphnodes being diseased.  i have been living in this nighmare since march and finally got the diagnosis on friday.  i am waking up at 4 am every day with a pit in my stomach and hoping that i will wake up from this nightmare.  i will be going to see the oncologist on tuesday.  i will find out more about the staging, grade etc.  i am still in shock.  i did self breast exams every month, just after my period and i went for yearly physicals.  everything was good.  there were no lumps in my breast and then on march 5th i was showering and felt a huge lump in my right armpit.  i had an ultrasound that revealed a cyst with a lymphnode.  then on april1 i had a mammo and it revelaed lots of calcification and swollen nodes.  i had a stereotactic biospy on may 13.  it  said that i had dcis.  i had surgery on june 15 to remove the area and the nodes.  on friday the news was idc with infected nodes.  my family dr, i lost faith in.  she never sent me for mammos.  said that since i had no history of bc in the family i should wait until age 50 for one.  i just turned 45.  i break down a lot and cry, especailly at night time.  i look at my two children ages 7 and 9 and worry about them.  the fact that it is in the nodes is really scaring me:(

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  • Cowgirl13
    Cowgirl13 Member Posts: 1,936
    edited June 2010

    Rackie, it is not a death sentence because you have node involvement.  It may mean chemo and rads.  but not to get too far off.  You have done the right thing by posting here on the board. There is tremendous kindness and support here on this board. And great medical information.  Its normal to be terrified.  I was where you are last year at this time.  I just had to take it one day at a time and not jump too far ahead.  Have you seen an oncologist yet?  That will help you get started on your path.

    Prayers for you.  

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  • chob
    chob Member Posts: 14
    edited June 2010

    Rackie, It's normal to feel scared, but you will be amazed at the women who will come into your life who have gone through it or are going through now. I was diagnosed with DCIS in 2005, ended up with bilateral masectomy and reconstruction after lumpectomies did not get clear margins, no chemo or radiation. Was going to celebrate my 5 years when I was rediagnosed in April 2010 with IDC, 2 out of 10 lymphs positive, another 2 with "involvement" which I count as positive.  I have now gone through 2 rounds of chemo, the 3rd coming on July 1, more to come, along with radiation. It's not fun and you have to be positive and determined to get through it, but you do - and you will. What has helped me is family, friends, cancer support groups, faith, being very strong -- and very pissed off that it came back! You can beat it!  Educate yourself, this website is excellent, and get connected to other women who have gone through it that you can meet with.You will be ok!

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  • Susie123
    Susie123 Member Posts: 804
    edited June 2010

    Hi Rackie,

    I'm so sorry that you've been diagnosed with BC. My diagnosis is still very fresh on my mind as it was about 6 months ago, 3 days before Christmas. I'm 49 and have 2 teenagers. I remember how hard it was to think about the possibility of not being able to see them grow up, graduate high school, college, get married, have kids, and all the normal things we want for our children. I cried for 3 days. I remember driving to work one day after the holidays thinking how can life be going on as normal when my life will never be normal again. It was surreal. It's hard to overcome that feeling of hopelessness, but it does get better, I promise. It's hard to see it now, but BC is not the death sentence that it used to be. I like to look at it as my primary care doc does, she says it's a very curable disease, it's just at this time they have no way of telling which of us are cured. That alot of us will never be revisited by this disease in our lifetimes, even with positive nodes. I have seen ladies of BC message boards that are 15 years out from their diagnosis with positive nodes that are still cancer free. I won't lie, you have some rough months ahead of you, but just get your mindset that you're going to beat this thing and just get through it one day at a  time. We all find out that we are stronger than we think. I will be keeping you close in prayer.

    Susie

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