Just diagnosed - not surprised

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sunnydaze
sunnydaze Member Posts: 19
edited June 2014 in IDC (Invasive Ductal Carcinoma)

Just thought I would pop in and introduce myself.  My name is Kelly and I am 37 years old, going through a hideous divorce, have restraining order against the ex, and full custody of two wonderful boys (3 and 4 yrs old). 

Just officially diagnosed yesterday with IDC, Stage 1, Grade 3, ER-/PR-/HER-.  I am BRCA1 positive...the 12th woman to get breast cancer, daughter of a survivor, my warrior mother who kicked the beast just 5 years ago.  I plan to do the same - just thought it would be a few more years before facing this battle.

My doctor is not even thinking this is life-threatening... she is very positive, great bedside manner.  Just told me my life is going to suck for the next six months or so, then it will be over (caveat here is 8-9% recurrence rate even after mastectomy - I told her I don't plan on being a member of that group).

I'm still swimming with the news... the hardest part so far has been telling people.  The looks on their faces is tough to handle.  BUT - everyone has been so supportive and I have great family and friends ready to help me in this battle.

Off to war we go!!  Double mastectomy scheduled 7/14... chemo later (that dept hasn't called me yet).

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  • CoolBreeze
    CoolBreeze Member Posts: 4,668
    edited June 2010

     Your attitude is great - I think going into fight mode right away helps a lot. 

    I'm sorry about your divorce.  I went through chemo and while it wasn't bad  at all, towards the end it would be hard to do with little kids.  (Although, I chaperoned a group of 300 middle-schoolers right after chemo towards the end, so you can do stuff you never thought possible.)

     It's too bad your ex is awful and can't help.  Hopefully, your mother can.  I didn't cook much for a couple months because I didn't have the energy or desire but my youngest is 13 and he can fend for himself. 

    The word around here is "do-able" and you'll find it is.  Good luck to you!

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  • smithlme
    smithlme Member Posts: 1,322
    edited June 2010

    Kelly,

    Welcome to our sucky club! I am a 2 time BC A$$ kicker, first time TN and second time ER+/PR- and I am BRCA 2+. Keep that positive attitude going. Yep, the next 6 months will be no picnic but it is do-able. Somehow we all manage to muddle through it, kicking and screaming. There's also threads for TN's and BRCA positives, so check them out, too. Hang in there and take each day as it comes...

    Linda

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  • jlynnbain1031
    jlynnbain1031 Member Posts: 57
    edited June 2010

    i am so sorry ! i was just diagnosed too. being a woman really stinks ! i was diagnosed with IDC with an almost 2cm lump. i have surgery this thurs for a lumpectomy but really considering double masectomy. my great grandmas both had breast cancer. how did you decide on the masectomy or did your doctor ? thanks for listening and best of luck to you <3

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  • hopeful34
    hopeful34 Member Posts: 1,569
    edited June 2010
    First off, sorry you had to join this club.  I am 34 and just had a bilateral mast w/ immediate recon. Tissue Expanders May 21st.  I am sorry about your divorce, but it sounds like you are better off without him.  Here is a link to commonly used abbreviations on this website.  It will help you when reading the posts.  Abbreviations for newbies - updated I have found that there are so many women on here that are willing to help and there always seems to be someone having the same experiences you are.  If you have any questions, please take advantage of this website.  It has helped me tremendously.  I will say you do have a great attitude.  I wish I could say the same for myself.  Good luck with your upcoming surgery.  Take Care. 
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  • djweaver
    djweaver Member Posts: 1
    edited June 2010

    Kelly,

    Your title, "just diagnosed---not surprised" caught my eye, because I've been led to believe my family could be one of the originators of the BCRA-l.  My mother, grandmother, aunt, and nine of my mother's cousins all had breast cancer.  And this doesn't count my father (colon) and the women who have had ovarian cancer.  Interestingly, I tested negative for the BCRA-1 and 2 gene.  Yet, the team of my doctors still feel I carry some genetic gene not discovered.  Now, that's comfort for you. 

    I've been diagnosed IDC, Stage I, ER+, HER- (at least for now).  My surgery is scheduled one day after your's, July 15th, and I also have elected to have a bi-lateral mastecomy.  And while I've always known breast cancer would probably show up one day, I hoped it would come later.  I'm 51 and I still consider myself pretty young.  I couldn't agree more, this sucks. 

    But a few thoughts I cling to:  1.  My grandmother was diagnosed at 40 and lived to 86!  2.  I never had great looking breasts and now have a chance to have a beautiful set at 51 (since I'm opting for immediate reconstruction).  3.  I have always wanted, but never invested in having someone help me clean the house.  Well, for the next six months, my vacuum and windex bottle will be on vacation. 

    Good luck with your surgery.            

      

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  • sunnydaze
    sunnydaze Member Posts: 19
    edited June 2010

    I want to thank everyone here for your posts!  I feel very welcomed here - sadly!  :)  I am really holding up well, considering all I'm going through.  I just had a big day in court against the ex and WE WON big time!  So - that is a huge stressor off my shoulders and now we should be able to move forward and just get divorced or mediated if he doesn't want to settle. 

    And so now I'm ready to fight the bigger battle - this one.  And honestly, I'm not scared.  Pi$$ed off - but not scared.  Is that a bad thing?  I think that if I had not seen my mother and so many close family friends and relatives already go through this -- and the great majority of them have beat it and none have had any recurrence - had I not witnessed all of this first hand I would be terrified.

    I got a call from a cousin yesterday - she also just diagnosed and is having surgery the SAME DAY that I am - neither of us knew of the other's predicament.  While I don't wish this on anyone, it sure is nice to have a partner in this battle who will be experiencing all that I am experiencing at the same time.

    I notice that some of you can have immediate reconstruction... that was discouraged for me.  I think if I would have pushed for it that I may have been able to sway the doctor but for me, right now I just want to deal with the cancer and the healing.  

    Some real silver lining to report:  My biggest concerns were the court issues and dealings with my ex - after today's win in court that issue will be far removed from my life (as well as it can be at least for a while).  2.  work - I started a new job in August - and so I don't have a lot of paid time off available.  My department administrator put out a request for leave donations for anyone who felt like donating some of their own leave to my account.  I was just hoping for 80 hours to get through July.  She came into my office yesterday and informed me that the leave issue was no longer going to be a problem.  I have now received 520 HOURS - the maximum allowed!!  AND they are setting up a computer for me to take home so that I can telecommute on days when I feel too sick to come in.  I am SO LUCKY to work where I do (large university), where people care!!  

    And I am also looking forward to a shiny new RACK!!  :)  

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  • in_cognito
    in_cognito Member Posts: 429
    edited June 2010

    Hi Kelly! Welcome to the club!  You and I are about the same age with little ones - I'm 37 with a 29 month old and a 4 month old.  I love your attitude - I think that positive attitude of yours will get you far!  Congrats on the great news with the ex and the job!  Keep us posted on everything - you will find great support here on these boards!

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  • ToriGirl
    ToriGirl Member Posts: 1,188
    edited June 2010

    Kelly,

    How wonderful that you don't have to worry about work...it's amazing what wonderful things people do when you least expect it...I truly believe that there are angels on earth just looking out for us...

    I am new to this roller coaster of breast cancer as well, but am amazed at the wonderful women on this board that reach out to each other so unselfishly....

    I am in awe of you too...your positive attitude is friggin' amazing and I only wish to possess it so I can get past all this ugliness and onto the other side....

    I am the first (on both mom's side (5 sisters) and dad's side (4 sisters) and have countless first and second cousins) to have this, so I'm on the other end of the spectrum of you..having no one to relate to in regards to what to expect.  But, I find that I'm blessed already to have some support here where I can ask for advice and vent when I need to.

    In the end, we are all in this together.  I will be checking in on you as we move forward to beat this beast down!

    Take care and God bless,

    Tori

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  • swanseagirl
    swanseagirl Member Posts: 393
    edited June 2010

    Sunnydaze, welcome!

    Sorry to hear you are in the club, however, you have an amazing attitiude.

    Please could you send some of it down to me.  I'm in Olympia!

    If you pop it iin the mail should get here in a day.

    Good luck with your surgery.

    Hugs

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