Painful coitus

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SurvivorAnneS
SurvivorAnneS Member Posts: 2
edited June 2014 in Life After Breast Cancer
Well, this is embarrassing but I would surely appreciate some advice. I had breast cancer (stage one) last year and had bilateral mastectomies with chemotherapy afterward. I am now on Arimidex. My husband and I have been married for 36 years. We are both 60 years old. Although we use lubricant when we make love, it is an extremely painful experience for me. The last time, it hurt so badly that it was painful to urinate for a couple of days. I think it tore some tissue even though my husband is very gentle.-- My primary care physician has no ideas on this matter. My gyn suggested having an estro-ring inserted. She said there was a very small risk involved with it. My oncologist didn't like the idea. I hate to mention this, but my younger sister died of BC two years ago and our mother died 30 years ago. Nevertheless, I want to do something to enable my husband and myself to continue to make love. Please help!

This is my first time in this discussion group, so I hope people can post messages in response, whenever they encounter my message, because I need to get some sleep. Thank you for your help.

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  • Mantra
    Mantra Member Posts: 968
    edited June 2010

    I've gone  back to using Vagifem twice a week and found it really helps. My surgeon is against using any type of estrogen but she's not the one who has to live with the pain; I do! My cancer was ER/PR negative and although I would feel much better knowing I wasn't taking Estrogen, I really didn't know what else to do. I tried Replens and it caused unbelievable burning so I only used it once, however, the burning lasted for a couple of weeks.

    I have made an appointment with a gyno/oncologist to get a second opinion. I've also have a DMX and not sure if that will make a difference in what he tells me. I hate that sex has gone from being a wonderful experience to that of a painful one. Only Vagifem has helped (along with a progesterine cream). I have tried lubrication alone but dryness is really not a problem for me so it doesn't help at all. I've been told I have vulvadynia.

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  • dlb823
    dlb823 Member Posts: 9,430
    edited June 2010

    Hi, Anne ~ Sorry you're experiencing the problem you are, but it seems to be a common one once our estrogen is cut, either naturally or due to Tamoxifen or an Aromatese Inhibitor like Arimidex.  When you have some time, you might want to prowl around this website for a few existing threads that address this.  Click on Forum Index (above).  You'll see a whole section entitled Alternative, Complimentary & Holistic Treatment.  Within that section, there are several threads that discuss using an estrogen product like an estro-ring.  I know it's been discussed in a lengthy thread called "Natural Girls," and I think it's also discussed in the one on Bioidentical Hormones (BHRT).

    Another thread to look for is entitled, "I Want My Mojo Back!"  It's in the Moving Beyond Cancer section and is also pretty lengthy, but as I recall, has some discussion of this topic.  And you can also use the SEARCH feature (to far right in pink band above).  Try typing in words like estro-ring to see what you can find.

    It seems that some oncologists do not want us to use any type of estrogen product, but some do allow limited use of certain ones for the purpose you're describing.  I think reading what other women have been told by their oncs may be helpful to you.  Personally, I've found emu oil (available in natural markets) solves the problem for me.  If you try it, be sure to get one that's "extra refined."   

    I'm so sorry about your younger sister, but I'm glad you've found BCO.    Deanna

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  • Mantra
    Mantra Member Posts: 968
    edited June 2010

    I just spoke to the gyno's nurse. I wasn't able to get an appointment until October and didn't want to wait that long to find out what to do about Vagifem. She spoke to the doctor and he said he is quite comfortable with me using Vagifem and progesterine cream. He said very little is absorbed through the skin,

     He said it is worse not to use it and then stop using it over and over again because it is important to have the skin of the vaginal wall thicken. After it does thicken over time by using Vagifem, he said very very little is absorbed. So using it, stopping for a while and then using it again on a "as needed basis" is really counter productive and more estrogen is absorbed while the skin is thickening again.

    He also asked to have a copy of my pathology report faxed to him (I faxed it this morning) and his nurse said she will show it to him and if the fax contains any info that makes him feel differently he will let me know.

    As a PS - My cancer was agressive but all DCIS, I've had a double mastectomy and my cancer was ER/PR negative. Perhaps this is the reason he feels comfortable with me using it.

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  • KKeckiella
    KKeckiella Member Posts: 5
    edited June 2010

    I can second the other forum threads as a good resource.  Many people have good ideas to try.  I finally found happiness with Astroglide after trying several options.  I am also 60y/o.  There are so many adjustments to make..sigh.    Karen

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  • SurvivorAnneS
    SurvivorAnneS Member Posts: 2
    edited June 2010

    Mantra,

    Thank you for your post.  I've written down your suggestions.  BTW, my oncologist suggested that I use some sort of wash, which was expensive, stank, and left a dark stain on my underclothes.  It also gave me the uncomfortable sensation of having a period.  

    What is a DMX?

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  • BrokenHeart
    BrokenHeart Member Posts: 241
    edited June 2010

    Girls, I'm going to take a chance you won't all chew me to bits because I don't yet have BC [that doesn't mean I haven't fought a beast in a different form], but I am high risk and want to share knowledge about this subject.

    Vagifem is Estradiol.  It is the utter worse one for any woman who is ER+ - in fact past meno it is the worse one there is, either natural or the horsey creams.

    I took Vagifem once and it made a dying fibroid grow - and get periods back.  If it can do that, what else can it do? 

    Instead, I was given Estriol cream - a completely different Estrogen that is natural and does not go into your blood stream - so safe we make it when pregnant.

    Please consult Doctor Google about this, don't take my word for it, but sorry for interrupting, but I can't walk past seeing a disaster about to happen.

    Please take care.  

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  • OneBadBoob
    OneBadBoob Member Posts: 1,386
    edited June 2010

    This is truly a difficult subject and decision to make.

    Many women have been helped by KY or other creams/gels---and others have not.

    I would suggest USING ALL OTHER SOURCES before going to the estro-ring.

    We want to stay away from any estrogen substitutes period, for as long as we can.

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