Wifemom - thanks for taking the time to let us know you are home. My anxiety level has been dramatically lowered by those of you Warrior Women who have gone before me in this journey.....so it is really appreciated. Just hearing "it is doable" is very reassuring coming from someone who has just been there.

Jane (who will be there on 6/28)

Melissa: I'm sorry to hear about the nips.  Hearing that my nipple couldn't be saved was one of the biggest blows I suffered through this whole ordeal. It was an idea that I was sad and angry about all the way up to my surgery. But it's okay. I've really come to be okay with it. I'm looking forward to seeing what the PS comes up with when it's time to recreate the nipple. Does anyone remember the show "The Bionic Woman" from the late 70's? I kind of feel like her sometimes. The show used to start with the quote "We can rebuild her. We have the technology. We can make her better, stronger, faster ..." LOL

Three days in the hospital might not be a bad thing. You'll have that wonderfully convenient hospital bed at your disposal. And the nurses will deal with your drains for you. If the attention at your hospital is anywhere near as great as it was at mine, I think you'll appreciate being there. But the food was really not great.

The PS came in to see me the morning after my surgery and basically looked at the incision, told me it looked fine but to ice the bruise and then promptly left. I found that the BS and her residents were a lot more involved with my care, but the nurses were most involved of all and quite helpful. I think, knowing what I know now, I would be totally okay if the PS wasn't around in the days immediately following my surgery.

By the way, I've removed 9 of my 13 steristrips. It was completely pain free. I kept the last four on because they are covering the end of the scar that is still bruised and swollen. I remembered what you said about the strips keeping the swelling down and wanted to keep them on there as long as possible. I'll remove them tomorrow after my shower. 

Jane: Thanks for the warrior designation. I do feel like a warrior. And I have a heckuva battle scar to prove it. But I am still standing and strong despite it.  We will all beat this stupid disease. The 28th will be here and past before you know it.

Getty. 

I am scheduled for a mastectomy 06-21 summer solstace with expanders.  I HAD DCIS IN 05 FOLLOWED BY A LUMP AND RADS, CHOSE NO TAMOXIFEN 5 YRS LATER back in same breast close to original site.  Now mastectomy.  I feel so let down by reoccurance am a RN scared stiff of the surgery afraid i will not wake up please send me some good words.  What will it be like.  My husband could care less - i have and am a bitch my emotions are horrible.  He does not understand plans to go back to work on Thurs 3 days from mastec. Yikes help

melissa,

I am sorry to hear about your nips.  I feel bad that you were so sad.  But remember, you are beautiful on the outside and seem very beautiful on the inside from all your posts to everyone.  That is what really matters.  You will still be you, just with a different look.  I would bet money that your amazing personality defines you way more than your nipples!  I hope you can find peace with it.  They really can do amazing things to make them look real.

almagetty, I hope you are feeling better and better.  Thank you for taking the time to include us in your healing!

 Prayers for speedy healing to all the June girls.

Stillcardsfan Good luck on Monday.  Strength vibes to you.  Circe.....we are in it together on Tuesday...Good luck and strength vibes to you too!

Jillyg, Webstermom, joystars, I may not be on the computer, but I will be sending you strength vibes nevertheless. Good luck next week!

Melissa- I am so sorry to hear the results that you can't keep your nipples.  I am sure you must be feeling pretty low right now.  I felt the same way when I was told I couldn't keep mine. (alot like Getty)  I went to meet my PS and thought I could keep them.  He said he doesn't keep nips on anyone with BC- personal choice as a surgeon, he could recommend someone who would.  GULP.  No thanks.  Then I went home and cried.  They did tell me I could keep my areola's and I decided against it due to the way the incisions are made and how they look after.  Where your in a different boat, maybe that is an option for you?  I've read it can be quite aesthetically pleasing if it is done right.  Just a thought....

Getty- Thanks for the heads up on the mani/pedi.  I checked my instructions and nothing was mentioned and then I asked a friend who assists in surgery's and she said no way.  I have to cancel the appointment- but now I won't feel guilty going for a massage and spending the money

Welcome Gunner and Seh I am glad you found us.  Gunner, I have no words of wisdom for you and your hubby unfortunately.  Except he needs to wake up and see what lays ahead for both of you.  Perhaps when the time comes he will rise to the occasion?  I have been bitchy at moments too.  I find it helps to say  to my husband, I know I am a bitch right now but its because...(fill in    the blank- I am scared for my life , I am having a piece of my body removed etc etc) I believe in alot of communication. I always ask after- "are you scared?" I try to remember this is happening to him too.

Circe- I plan on taking my husband's lap top to the hospital too.  I brought it with me for the birth of my last child and I enjoyed the last minute e mails from friends that I had missed.  I read the paper, played solitaire when the baby was sleeping etc.  Bring it, if you don't fee like using it who cares.  If you do it's there.  I know I will be watching for a post from you

Welcome to Gunner & Seh, I'm glad you found this group.

Gunner: Of course you are scared & bitchy! I am a therapist by training, have been meditating, doing guided visualization, reading every self help book I can get my hands on, praying, etc etc and I still have really really awful days. I keep apologizing to my spouse for my bitchiness....You and I have a very similar situation, I had DCIS in 2001 - 9 years ago! I also had lump/rads and after all this time and many many mamms thought I was fine. The cancer came back near the area of the original DCIS. I was told at the time I had about a 99% chance of being cancer free. Hard to believe I am the 1%....What I have learned from these boards is that just about everyone post surgery comes back and says it wasn't nearly as bad as they were expecting...having said that it still sucks that we have to go through this at all. Some days I'm just plain MAD! Hope you can find some calm today, I am sending good energy your way for tomorrow.

Joystar: I cannot even imagine being in your shoes, what is supposed to be the happiest time of your life, anticipating a child, and having to deal with this. I can understand how hard it would be to share this news. I have told just about everyone - mostly because i wanted all the prayers and energy they could muster up for me, However, at times it is really hard to deal with people knowing, part of it is this cultural image as the strong woman conquering cancer, it is almost expected. Everyone wants to tell me a story about some they know and how brave and wonderfully they handled all of this.  At the same time I have been overwhelmed with support and offers of help. I have a large family and I send them regular emails letting them know how I'm feeling and what is going on. I am for the most part optimistic but I let them know of my fears and worries too. I just decided I was going to be honest with them and sorry if it makes them uncomfortable. But my husband definitely bears the brunt of my emotional mood swings. Someone recommended a good book to me and I immediately ordered him a copy, the book is "Breast Cancer Husband: How to Help Your Wife (and Yourself) Through Diagnosis, Treatment, and Beyond" by Marc Silver. I gave it to my spouse and prefaced it by telling him he was already doing a great job but I hoped the book might help him. He's about halfway through and said it has been really helpful.

Jane

Welcome, sjstrader82. You are in good company here.

Wanted to check in and let you all know how I'm doing 3 days post op. Not to frighten anyone who hasn't had their procedure yet but at times the pain can be a bit much but it is pretty much well controlled with the 10mg Hydrocodone I was prescribed. Walking can be challenging; I'm moving at a snails pace and having a hard time walking standing straight up. As far as sleeping goes I know alot of women sleep on recliners and my DH brought ours up to the second floor where our bedroom is but I perfer sleeping in my bed, with a little help of course. From my bed rest pillow with arms from Target; THE best $16.00 I've spent and also from my Baby Boppy pillow which gives awsome neck support. These two items are great for those who choose to sleep in their bed. I only have 2 drains which my PS said will most likely come out on Monday. Yea! As these lil puppies are quite annoying. I have minimum fluid draining in them. I can't wait to shower. Don't get my wrong I love sponge baths from DH but I will feel much cleaner once I can get warm water flowing over my body. You don't realize how important small things are until you don't have access to them anymore. Most of my days are spent sleeping because of my pain meds and when I am awake I'm watching tv and reassuring my 2 daughters that everything is going to be okay. They worry about me so much but are very supportive, doing everything they can to help mommy. This process is anything but easy but my life if worth it. If I had to do things all over again I would. Again you ladies that haven't gone through the surgery yet remember, you will be just fine and to those that have gone through; isn't it true that you find that you are much stronger that you ever thought you were. I am really proud of myself, going through something that in the beginning I thought I couldn't. We can do this girls!!!

wifwmomx2

Hey, ho - let's go.

Scheduled for Mx with retainer this Wednesday.

Please send prayers for the surgeon, my family and me.

 Is there any soap I can use before surgery to reduce infection?

Love,

Sheila

almagetty - Thanks for the info about the drain site.  I had hoped this weekend away from the stress of work would stop the juices from flowing (not that I actually believe that the one is related to the other, but one can hope), but, alas, still at about 60cc/day.  Please make it stop!

Sams_MominAtlanta - I was instructed before surgery to take two showers (one the night before and one the morning of surgery) using Hibiclens or a similar two or four percent Chlorhexidine Gluconate (CHG) antiseptic solution.  You can get this kind of soap at most pharmacies, I think.  Can't hurt, as long as you use it properly.

 lizzymack -  I know what you mean about wondering if I should be reacting differently to meet expectations.  My friends and family seemed much more anxious about the surgery than I did (although, thankfully my husband was also not too anxious so I didn't have to try to calm him).  I saw no reason to be anxious since I was comfortable with my decisions and with all of the care I had been given to help make my decisions.  We are all different, of course, which is what makes life wonderful, so there is no real need to conform to someone else's expectations as long as you are comfortable.  

I love the story of your cat.  One of our cats, a tiny little almost-six-pound cutie, had previously chosen my left breast as her favorite resting place in the evenings.  She can be very persistent in her attempts to get comfortable there, and once she gets settled and starts to purr it's actually pretty soothing.  Since I had a LMX, I was worried that she would be a real nuisance, but somehow she caught on pretty quickly that that space was off limits for a while.

Going to my Psyche Eval this afternoon, my final appointment before I get an Op date. Although I am confident with my decision to opt for DMX, I feel the tension and anxiety levels increasing rapidly as I jump those last few hurdles....I know I want to do this but the urge to 'do a runner' is coming over me in waves....

Really am with you on the 'toxic breasts' point of view Liz

Lots of love and positive vibes to everyone having Ops this week....... we are gaining strength in numbers on a daily basis...

TO ALL: SURGERY TOMORROW (bmx w/immediate recon) AND I HAVE 2 QUESTIONS:

Being able to use your arms for anything post-surgery...what are the limitations...I mean could you call dress yourselves?  Those post-op cami's are pretty snug fitting and I am trying to figure out how I could get it on if I can't use my arms.  Could you all type and text after surgery? 

Showering the morning of surgery: for those of you who got marked, I am getting marked today and surgery is tomorrow: will I be able to shower in the morning or not?  Surely I could ask my doc but I won't see him until 4 this afternoon and I am trying to plan out my morning as I have to be at the hospital at 7:30AM.

Robin: good luck with your psych eval...hope all goes well-

Liz

Good morning everyone! I'm keeping all of this week's surgery ladies in my thoughts and prayers. There are quite a few this week.

Sheila: Welcome.

Liz: My PS marked the incision 6 days before my surgery. He instructed me to shower as usual and then to retrace the marking with a Sharpie pen after I had dried off. It pretty much ruined a couple of bras, but it worked.  He also instructed me to shower using an anti-bacterial soap on my chest the night before surgery and the morning of. He didn't specify a brand and told me that the anti-bacterial hand soap that I normally buy was fine.

As far as using my arm, I had a RMX not a BMX. I was able to use my arm pretty much as normal from the elbow down. Lifting my arm was hard for anything past about a 45 degree angle from my body for the first days. I did not have a SNB, since I had that done back in March when I had my initial lumpectomy.

Robin: Good luck on your Psych evaluation today.

Hi Marm! 

Lucy: I still have a little bit of fluid buildup on the outside side of my scar, where I have a bruise. I'm pretty sure it has gone down a little bit in the last couple of days. It definitely has not increased since they took the drain out. My drain came out 10 days ago.

seh: I hope your drain starts drying up really soon. The drain is a huge PITA. My PS's nurse recommended that I cut way down on my activity in order to get the drainage to stop. I did, but I'm not sure it made that much of a difference. I hope it happens for you soon. 

Laurie: I love your husband's attitude (and yours, too). I don't know that you will be up and around in a couple of days. I was up, but pretty much doing nothing. However it shakes out for you, you will be limited only for a little while. "This too shall pass." More appropriate words were never written for our situation.

I have to run and get ready for my visit to the PS. I'm scared and excited about my fill today. It's the first one. I'm scared about the possible pain and discomfort but excited to get "pumped up".

Happy Monday!

Getty. 

I'm back from my fill. I didn't feel a thing. Right now, it just feels like I'm wearing a bra that's a tad bit too snug. I guess I misunderstood how they determine how much they're going to put in.  I had thought that it was until that moment when the pressure became painful for me. In actuality, it's a function of how much the pectoral muscle allows them to get in. The nurse told me she would put in at least 50cc, but possibly as much as 100cc. In the end, my chest muscle would not allow a drop more than 75cc. So, I have a total of 375cc's in now, and I have to get to 500cc. She says she'll do 100cc in two weeks, and then the last 25cc two weeks after that. At that point, the PS will evaluate whether we're done with fills and we'll schedule the exchange for a month later. 

Now, if i wear a bra that gives me a little bit of lift on my non-surgery side, I look almost even in clothes. I'm quite enchanted with the newly bigger breast. I'll confess to sneaking several peeks in the bathroom mirror. This is definitely the happier side of this journey. 

Getty. 

I figured it was time that I added a picture on here. 

500cc's will get me to between a B & a C cup, which is where I am with my "real" breast.

It's funny you mention the ribs, because at the end of a long day, any discomfort that I might feel is on that one rib right below my breast area. I figure that must be where the weight of the TE rests. It's never a real hurt, just a twinge or a bother, and it goes away when I go to sleep.

Your turn will come, Laurie. I can't believe the end of the month is next week already! You'll be talking fills and exchange before you know it.