May 2010 Chemo

Well, girls, on round 2 another bunch of my hair is gone. I hadn't shaved my head in a week, then it started getting itchy, and when rubbing my scalp my hand was covered in itty-bitty hairs. I went and looked in the mirror, and sure enough, my head looks like a teen trying to show a 5 o'clock shadow. So, there went the electric razor to work again. Oh well. I still have eyebrows - my eyebrows were always very black (even if my hair is dark ash blonde) and quite hardy, with a long thick hair, very easy to shape wonderfully. Didn't have to put the tweezers much on them in the last month. My underarm hair though started re-growing (though scantily) and I even had to put the tweezers to a couple straggly "moustaches" lol.

My Neulasta pains have finally subsided. Most of my fatigue did too (it's still there a little bit but not too bad).

So, I'm enjoying the good days before the next treatment, lol. We had some nasty flooding here in Oklahoma yesterday - not in my area though.I still got plenty of rain though, enough not to worry about watering the flowers for two days. I need to go out and fix a grapevine that fell due to the torrential rains - there was so much to be done this morning that it didnt' get done by the time  it was too hot for me to be out.

I hope everybody is faring well.

Hugs all

Day

OK something I noticed about everyone on their second round of chemo...over the top tiredness and hunger!  eating all the time..I did the same thing on round two ......  this time on round three I was tired not as hungry and felt better faster..so I'm really curious when you all get to round three igf it happens  ...I thought this round was uneventful...  tired...   tired of being tired ...   and tired of not being able to taste things...My ONC said that this round usually went good...she was right...as far as good can be...I am hoping the 3rd round goes uneventful for all you too....you know even though I ate a lot during the 2nd round I still lost weight   and still got a stern look from my ONC...lost another 3 lbs when I went in today...again the stern look..

Day I was thinking of you when I was watching the news accounts of OK  glad to read its wasn't where you  are... My friend was visiting parents in Ohio and was freaking out about having to be in the basement during a tornado warning...sometime I ask myself ..what was worse when I lived in Colo and had to wait out a tornado ..or waking up during an earthquake in Southern California...both very unnerving...   just a thought!

 On that cheery not I'm going to go have some sherbet ice cream!.

All-

I wanted to send you words of encouragement and support. When I started chemo someone posted to our thread and encouraged us. I wanted to pay it forward offering my words of encouragement.

 I finished chemo in March and radiation treatment last week and wanted you all to know you can do it....it wasn't a walk in the park but I worked through treatment and looked at colleges with my daughter. You CAN do this. Hang in there.

Barbara 

fotopet - I started the clariten 2 days prior to tx #3 and continued it 5 days post tx.  Overall the bone pain and achiness to my body was much better.  I still had issues with my feet being achey but I think that is another issue.  I hope you feel better this treatment.

I hope everyone else is having a SE free day!

Okay, I have a confession -- I have yet to shave my head.  Yes, I was pushing to do it and get it done last week and hubby said wait.  Now he is saying -- okay, we can do it and I am like -- humm -- got still some hair on it -- fluffs of baby fine hair that feels SOOO soft --   and so I am hanging onto it for now.  S--I----L---L---Y!  I have round 2 CHEMO tomorrow so I suspect those fluffs will flee soon.  So DAY, it sounds like you and I are hitting things about the same time. 

For grins:   I got info. from my CIGNA insurance that keeps us posted of costs and what I owe -- okay this is the costs for my 1st chemo:  $6,565.00 -- discounted down and drs. office got $3,726.27 and I pay $22.25, and the Neulasta shot the day after was $5,952.00 -- discounted down to $3,873.37 and I pay $20.00.  Whew, if I didn't think I was IMPORTANT, I guess I know I am now.    Thank goodness for insurance.  Leanna9, I have been written out for short term disability through two weeks after my last chemo -- just in case.  I have been with the law firm for 29 years and have 3 months at 100% pay and 3 months at 75%.  VERY FORTUNATE to have this type of coverage.  The disability act covers all of us and you shouldn't have any problems with any needs you have -- get your doctor to process the paperwork so you can take care of yourself.  My work will even let me come work a day and here and there if I want to do so.  Right now -- I emotionally wanted to get past the initial 2 treatments / lost of hair and all to see how I handled it -- my body and all.  I work in downtown Atlanta so I feel there is a bit more "need to look professional" than not on a level.  Here's to hoping all of our journeys will start being an easier path.  I just hope radiation is a better walk although I've heard you get tired towards the end.  So we'll see. HUGS to everyone.  If anyone likes this kind of thing -- I found on halfbooks.com a book called -- Chicken Soup for the Breast Cancer Survivor's Soul-- short uplifting stories -- so far -- enjoyed reading here and there.  Story about a mom telling her young son who loves superheros that Chemo was like a special superhero that fought the cancer so well he KNOCKED the hair off her head.  It helped the very young son understand and not fear her cancer.  Just thought I'd share that with anyone who might be interested!  Much love to you all!  Kim

Hey Ladies,

Just wanted to post a little story to cheer you up (hope it works:)  I live in a small city, and have only lived here for a year.  Anyway, some of my co-workers and friends up here that I'm in a drama group with decided to host a fundraiser for my family.  They figured that since I'm a creative person, it would be a creative evening of laughs, theatre, bra art, etc.  Anyway, one of my friends was over around lunch time and I was talking about how much I liked the posters featuring some very nice boob art (funky Photoshopping)- turns out they were her boobs!  Anyway, it made my day that someone would take a picture of their boobs just for me!  .

Hope everyone is having a good day and gets a laugh out of this - I'm still chuckling  

HI Everyone,

I am new to this site. I was told by a friend of mines sister to check this site out.  I just finsihed my third chemo treatment.  I have one more to go with the 2 meds then 4 more to go with just the one med.  Ill be in treatment all summer then radiation.    I am currently suffering with what i would call thrush.  Ugh! it usually comes like 4 days after chemo.  I do try to suck on icepops for hte first few days after chemo but this still happens.  I hate this.  It makes me have a gaggy feeling as well when I swallow.  The doc did giveme stuff to gargle then swallow but honestly, I never swallow it its just too discusting.  I just brush my tongue until its all off which means my tongue ends up a bit sore.  Well at least i have 7more days until my next treatment.  Oh and  I haven't gotten my period either.  I'm 43 years old and the Doc said I may never get it again. I thought great hot flashes on top of chemo side affects.  but I do notice that I get really bloated for about 2 days, then it seems to level out.  I'm guessing its around the time when I would of gotten it.  IDK?  well thanks for letting me rant. God BLess you all

LibraryJenn- that is so cool!!

Thanks for all the answers...

LisaNJ - welcome, sorry you are here, but welcome!! 

Kim, that is awesome!  That whole situation is a mess, and thank God for people willing to give their time to help make things better!  I have treatment tomorrow too... and despite the rattlers I took (aka the pills), I am still awake!  So, my Monkey Brains are at work to (is that correct use of it ?)  Love the pac-man reference.  I cannot wait for surgery and follow up MRI to see what the chemo is doing to the cancer.  Are you going to have Herceptin also? 

((HUGS)) to all!!

Hi all,

Had A/C #3 yesterday and it went pretty smoothly. I did have some vein issues, they had to stop & re-start 3 times at different sites, but nothing terrible. I am a bit more nauseous than normal though.

I do have a weird "new" side effect. For the past 3-4 days my eyes have been bothering me. They kind of feel like I'm in sun and really need sunglasses but don't have them. But they feel like this all the time - inside, outside (even with sunglasses on) and they're tearing quite a bit. I asked my onc. yesterday and he said this is a "noted" side effect WTF, I hadn't read anything about this so I was wondering if any of you have felt anything like this too?

LibraryJenn - Great uplifting story!! Sounds like a fun event, enjoy!

LisaNJ - welcome to our group! It sucks to belong to it but I promise it will be so supportive & helpful along the way. It sounds like we're on a very similar time path so I'll be following you closely!

Good luck to all having treatment today!

Just noticed that my left thumbnail had started going purplish, at the root. Looks like I smashed my finger in the door - well not THAT bad but you get the idea.

Hi Ladies - I just finished my 4th AC today and hopefully will have less SE's this time.    I had called the doctor the other day complaining about my feet hurting & aching, blisters and peeling of my feet.  The nurse called me back leaving a message and said that it sounds like Hands and Feet Syndrome but the chemo I am on does not have that as a side effect and to call them back if I have any questions.   That pretty much pissed me off and I didn't call back.  I went on  to have a really bad weekend with my feet hurting.  So at the onc appt.  prior to chemo today she looked at my feet and said that I definitely had Hand and Feet syndrome.  I was upset and told her about what her nurse said to me on Friday.   She said that it is rare and I am only the 4th patient she has seen this in that is on AC and all have been on the AC dose dense.  Not really much that I can do with but it does help to know I am not crazy.  The only thing she said that would help it was moisturizers.  

LisaNJ - Welcome to the group, I am sorry you have to be here, but you will find lots of good information here and a sounding board for all the times you are frustrated with doctors, nurses, kids, husbands, neighbors..etc.   I have that horrible taste in my mouth also that makes me gag.  I can't seem to get past in and it makes my water taste so terrible.  I also get the mouth sores and have been doing the biotene mouth wash and that has been helping.

Summer38 - I have started to get the eye tearing also.  I didn't mention it to my onc today, wasn't really thinking of it.  They don't burn, just tear all the time.

Sorry this is so long...I hope everyone has a great day.

I'm feeling really low.  I think the Avastin is kicking my ass.  I don't feel safe even driving.  I'm trying to get through one day at a time and not let my mind jump off to wanting to quit tx and run away.  I feel so damn helpless.  The baby is a handful and I can barely do anything.  Bf is hanging on for dear life between the baby and me.  I have next week off yet so I'm praying I get some relief.  Its always hard to think clearly when you're miserable.

I took the Claritin for Neulasta starting the day before the shot, and I still got horrendous pains.

Paxton, I so wish you lived close so that we could help you with baby.  BF (men in general) tend to get overwhelmed very easily with the "nurturing" part of life.  Is there a church that has mother's morning out that could lean assistance?  Check around and do ask -- call your the American Cancer Society and ask for groups in your area that help.  I want you and baby to be in a safe environment in the sense of your care and baby's care.  Let me know if you need me to make some calls. 

LauraM, I got a run-around from one of the nurses after my 1st treatment when I called in worried about my back pains.  She made it sound like that isn't one of the side effects of treatment and just said take pain med. surgeon had for me.  Well, the shot I get after Chemo does have that effect and it is annoying that they will downplay it.  I find perhaps others walking this walk are more inclined to be there in "hearing" us.  I know they deal with so much on their plates and thus, probably can't "hear" what we are asking.  But it does bum you out and cause you to think you are crazy --- did me.  Then after stressing that time, know now to trust my own body and my own needs in what is happening within me -- and not measure it against "the average" person or what they see.  They don't live within our cells to know what our bodies are saying to us.  Go figure.  Glad you got some comfort once you were at drs. office on hearing us.  I think 90% of the battle is feeling like we are being heard and understood. 

 JennyB:  Call others to help -- speak up and don't be afraid to say you need the help -- don't push yourself and endanger yourself.   Sometimes we try to be too strong.  When we have the ability to "put it out there for others to know" and I know this is harder for some -- the tremendous support will flow your way.  Hugs to you and Paxton on your having to be caring for your children during this time -- I am 53 and my son is 30 and I don't have that added responsibility on this walk.  My heart reaches out to you both to lift you up in prayer to others to meet your needs when you can't at this time!  We women like to be strong but there are times we need nurturing ourselves and this is it.

Leanna9:   Hurray on getting the disability set up.  I did mine too and that TRULY helped get some stress off my plate.  My reaction to the medication yesterday was another EYE OPENER to this is really something SERIOUS and don't kick myself to the curve and ride in on the horse of I AM WOMAN HEAR ME ROAR crap!  The bottom line is chemo is a toxic substance being placed in our bodies to KILL cells -- bad cancer and yet good life substanting other cells.  We can't give in and let it make us weak but we don't need to minimize our walk either -- any of us.    You so made me laugh about the game.  Just so you know I haven't shaved my hair yet either.  Tomorrow . . . -- I have read some of the posting here so I think I won't have it shaved TO THE HEADBONE -- I think I will have it one up from that to avoid some of the rashes and sensitivity some have posted here.  Thought I'd pass that on to you.  I do look scary to me -- the thin patchy hair -- like an alien type of character.  But I have hats I am wearing and been out in public enough to have the confidence now that I am not going to be pointed at or treated weird -- that was my initial "insecurity."  It builds the more I let myself trust that it will be okay -- finding my footing on that. 

Our treatment room yesterday was FULL of people like 15 or more.  The nurses were slammed.  So when my body had that reaction -- clearly the VIBE of what the HECK was floating throughout the room.  Some folks have really serious illnesses they are being treated for and definitely don't need to have something freaking them out.  I was pleased they jumped on it because I don't know what would have happened next.  It is just a situation that happened and thankfully, proper care was there.  WHEW!  It seems we all are having things kick us about.  But we can do this!

I don't look forward to the shot tomorrow that I know will set my body back if it is like the 1st treatment.  UGH!  But at least I am not lying about it being a walk in the park.  Day, I am with you in I've taken the Clairtin and the Extra Strength Tylenol and still the pain was there for me as well.  BUMMER and it stinks!  But thankfully, it wanes -- just getting through a week for me last time was what it took.

Hugs to you all.  My heart is heavy with the knowledge of you guys with children at home.  Wishing none of us had this on our plates but wishing to the TOP degree that children at home didn't have "moms" walking this walk.  But know in my heart that it strengthens ALL of us that put one foot in front of the other -- on the other side, we are truly made bigger strength of character than before the walk -- all of us. 

Much love!  CHEMO BRAIN -- MONKEY BRAINS activated by the darn steroid -- can't sleep -- oh well -- hope I am not keeping hubby awake in the next room with my type type type sound.