Buddhists
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Molly52 and notself, meditation and how to might be a good subject for discussion.
Notself, you mention meditating on anicca.
In Zen you don't meditate on anything, you just breathe. When I started meditating, I tried to visualize the quietest most peaceful image I could which was the view from my office looking down 28 floors to the water in the early morning. Sigh, my husband told me I was doing it wrong, at least for Zen meditation. Now I am better at meditating properly though I still have issues with doing it eyes wide open.
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medittation has been suggested 2 me by counselor in breast center. i too, have toyed for yeard with it, and still cannot do it eyes open.i am not Buddist,not nearly educated there enough, but am a spiritualist, in that many religious practices interest me. am still learning..did tai chi for awhile; moving meditation was easier, somehow. have real respect for you ladies...light and love, 3jaysmom
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It's fine to meditate with your eyes closed if you are most comfortable that was.
A relaxed eye lid will float down until it is almost closed. You may see the floor in front of you but your field of vision will be greatly reduced. As you relax your eyes and surrounding muscles, your lids will almost close naturally. Your eyes may lose their focus when you are completely concentrating on the breath. The key is not how you sit or how your eye are but how you maintain your concentration and bring it back when it wanders. Don't get to competitive with an ideal or concerned about technicalities.
I misspoke when I said I meditated on anicca. I should have said that I observe anicca as I meditate. The Pali word Bhavana is often translated as meditation is more accurately translated as mental cultivation or development. The Pali word Samadhi is translated as concentration and is more reflective of what is done during breath meditation. Whether one calls it mental cultivation or concentration, the goal is to focus the mind as an observer of phenomena. Observe the breath come and go. Observe when you mind wanders. Observe when you return to the breath.
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hi gals have been fascinated reading "listening" to you two, and then molly popped up! hi molly, 3jaysmom, here... i have been trying for years to be mindful, read a book, one of my favs a long time ago: chop wood, carry water, i'll have to find it and tell u author. i love it, it does remind me to look at the beauty in it all..of course, i read, re read Be Here Now in the 60's when it was hip, and i was an honest to God hippie ! the difference i re read it now, and follow him with Wayne Dyer from time to time..it helps me w bc in that, i do appreciate nature, Gods bounty, relationships, so much more..And which im learning to use instead of but; the hope is that if i do formal meditation {is that sitting?) that will help with my anxiety, and fear of reoccurence with no als, which ended up being my choice, in the end of it..anyway, 2 bed 4 me its 2 am had scans done 2day,and im in the hall waiting for a few days..i am so glad i wandered in here and foumnd u ladies!!
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Annica - thanks Notself, for the wiki link on impermanance. Seems similiar to a friend's mantra. She says, "this too shall pass".
I had some difficulty with understanding annata. I followed the wiki link - which was helpful, but ..... not an easy concept. It will take some time to digest.
Has anybody read Eckhert Tolle - he talks about "me and my story" - how, we as people become attached to it - it gives us a sense of identity.
3jaysmom - welcome. I now very little about all of this. The only thing I seem to know is that this kind of thinking and doing meditation seem to help me feel more at ease with my life. For that I am grateful.
Talking about this helps, because it keeps meditation on the top of the mind.
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hi girls, found the book, by a little altar i have, pix, etc. candle i use when doing spiritual rituals.. wow!! im falling short there. havent done anything really, since b.c. you really do get all wrapped up lol.. talk about self absorption.. anyway, it is Chop Wood , Carry Water a guide 2 finding spiritul fulfillment in everyday life... its written by: Rick Fields, w/ Peggy Taylor, Rex Weyler, and Rick Ingrrasci who r the editors of ANEW AGE JOURNAL strange
\ place for THIS book to come from..anyway, it really does remind me to be mindful, just in whatever i am doing... we practiced "Gentle Eating" in a group i was in. i hated it, because u cant talk, or drink.. u do taste your food more, and u dont gulp... bt, food is a great socializer for me..THEN i saw the same thing on RUBY on tv..pretty wild lol mommamonsta...i love that name!! u must ber a good cook, if u did all that at the retreat. im so glad u got to go, and your kids found a spot, also...well, off to do some laundry.. i can remember where i wore the clothes, and put them away w a grateful heart. see u soon...light and love, 3jaysmom
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3jaysmom told me about this thread and I certainly appreciate it. I gave up church in the US at least 30 years ago. I've lived in Europe the past 11 years and I'm glad to say that people seem to think that faith and beliefs are personal. It rarely comes up. I'm a yoga teacher and I do meditate. Interested in Buddhism, but have only read a few books on the subject.
Thanks for all the book titles and Web sites. I'm going to peruse them.
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welcome MAYA! glad u found thread. im just loving these ladies.. Thanks for the hint about "sitting" and eyes droop down, i started kinda "squinting" i think maybe it helped.. it was thoughtful of u to explain it all.. light and love 3jaysmom
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A few more comments on impermanence... "This too shall pass" is usually said when people are trying to get through tough times. The concept of impermanence is about all phenomena; good times as well as bad times. Everything changes: health, love, life, sickness, pain. Some things become more pleasant and some things become more unpleasant. The key to understanding the impermanence of all things is not to cling to the way they are when they are good and not to sink into aversion when they are bad. One observes things as they are with equanimity.
I posted a link to an essay by Thanissaro Bhikkhu a while back that explains this better than I just did.
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hmmm notself, have been giving alot of thought on the impermance of things.. admit im better at it, if the things suxs, but can agknowledge good passes too, and it all is just "now" or for now, which i digest better. hope 2 see u all on soon... light and love, 3jaysmom
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Hey all,
I had the loveliest dream last night---thought it was Friday and that tomorrow was the weekend---NOT. guess I spent too much time with my monsters last night discussing how today is the last day of school.
Re meditation: I am proud to say that I have actually managed to sit--10 to 15 minutes--every day since May 30. I do it at night before going to bed, though I'd like to start off the day that way. The last time I was this good at sitting was last spring when I signed up to do the Tricycle "Big Sit" which was supposed to go for 90 days, 20 minutes a pop. That time I made it from February 23 to mid June which was not all the way to the end but was when we went on family holiday. I went on holiday with good intentions ---even packed my travel zafu--but can't say they came to fruitition.
I think part of the problem is that as a beginner, 20 minutes every day was really kind of daunting. At that time, I was doing 30 minutes 1x a week or so but 20 every day was hard. This time I started with 15 and that went really well. Now I am alternating between 15 and 10 and I've done 15 enough times that 10 feels like nothing.
I do 10 when I "virtually sit" with my husband who is now in Switzerland helping a friend through chemo. Another use for Skype! creating your own virtual zendo! he calls, I set the netbook on the computer, light incense and candle at my end, he hits gong [okay his i-pad hits the gong
] on his end and off we go.As for impermanence: in the beginning, that was a hard one for me to wrap my brain around. My husband would talk about everything being impermanent and I would think he meant our marriage and get all worried. Silly me, I know! But now I don't have so much of a problem with it. One thing I think about in connection with impermanence is mountains. I look out my window at work and I see mt rainier which has been standing here for millions of years. It was here before the city, before the people, before some of the land. And then I think about the appalacian [sp] mountains on the east coast---at one time, those used to look like Rainier or even bigger. Some day, when people are long gone, rainier will look like the appalacians. If mountains change in such a fashion, how can anything be permanent?
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I believe in quality over quantity when it comes to meditation. I think you are doing great. Congratulations on your consistency.
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i would think if u sat, at any amount, every day, that would be the best of both worlds..listen to me, i dont sit very often, am not budduhist, and dont have a clue, so how can i have an opinion !?!! really enjoy listening to you ladies.. am working on impermanence from different angle. tring to not be attatched. maybe its too scary the other way for me ??.. if im thinking in spiritual way at all these days, im content..you do talk to your husband after sitting, right??i think thats wonderful that he went to switzerland to support a friend. my son couldnt pick up a phone, and he lives 5 min away ! there i go again. am trying to think speak of him in positive terms of late sigh.. my problem is having expectations.. thats kinda about the attatchment thing again. i want the son i want, not the one i have. the truth is, i need to accept the one i have, and maybe well find each other better..or sometthing like that. i just know everytime i have expectations of ple (esp)3jays..im setting myself up for diappointments.but, they dont call, and then I get dissappointed..whats that you say.. i can call them? theyre so scared of reoccurence they wont talk long... just keeping at it... sorry to spill ... light and love, 3jaysmom
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3jaysmom
I'm sorry about your son. That sounds very hard for you. I suspect you have hit the nail on the head with the idea that it is the fear of reoccurance that is part of the issue. I have 2 sons and the oldest--who is only 12.5---clearly does not even want to think about my stupidbreastcancer. During the entire time, he has not asked a single question and yet we are very close. There are plenty of things that we have talked about. by way of contrast, my now 10 year old daughter wanted very much to know what was going on at all times.
It is good, I think, that you recognize your need to accept the son that you have instead of always longing for the son you may have dreamed of. I know personally my mother has never gotten over the fact that I am not the dream daughter she wanted. It has made for a very difficult relationship.
hang in there!
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thanks for the encouragement. i need it, in this area esp. just this week, i was thrilled they All dropped by to swim at our pool. it really was to butter me up, to see if i could babysit sat. nite.. unfortunately, im having too much trouble with ibs; etc. so, theyre not likely to show up again for ahile. im really just trying my best. will try to scoop up gson this coming wk sometime.again, thanks, its not easy...
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hey ladies. been checking, but no ones been around... i really hope that means your lives are so full of good things, you've no time to be here... tues. surgery day, im a bit anxious waiting, but all will be well.. and someone dear here, has candles burning for me !! see ya soon light and love, 3jaysmom
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3jaysmom,
I hope things went well today. Please let us know as soon as you are up and about.
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hey 3jaysmom, what notself said.
hows it going?
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hey girls ! 2day is day 8 from surgery,,and it hit me like a ton of bricks..brought me right back to the first dblmx.. i geuss ive gotten used to not looking close in the mirror..do u guys do that, too, look, but not REALLY compute the picture you're faced with in the mirror? well, i guess i have been, because i now have 2 look for infection, etc..so, my mind is registering what im seeing..from the ps. point of view, everything is great..but inside, my mind is SCREAMING. i no longer have the weird "dog ears" i had, but a 7" cut on ethier side of me.. its horrible, if i compute it.not EVEN like a mans chest would be.. a hollow after that,my masectomy was a radical..so, i guess, the look is radical, 2.. i have to look twice a day,for now. i guess its like the original shock, and it wilkl wear off. everyone says..but he's gonna fix it, and youll be great, right.? NOPE permission denied. my health will bear no more surgery,so ps says this is it...i guess at least i dont have any more worries about how i'll look, this is it. AND, then i see my onco, shes sending me for pet scan, and vaginal etc. ultrasound, she's convinced i have a toumor somewhere i the abdominal/vagnal area, cause my bloat is larger, but no more weight gain..i guess theyll get it all sorted out. one side of me is freaking out;and the other side teells me _ods in charge, my job is to just show up for the tests.. so, for today, im doing my job,trying to let -od do HIS..thanks for listening. off to bed i go. psychologist tomorrow. if ever i needed him, its now..light and love, cherie
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Wow, you are really dealing with all of this with tremendous strength.
Screaming on the inside? That is absolutely the correct response. Sometimes the scream is from the mind; sometimes it comes from the body itself and sometimes it is both contributing.
Or, scream like a unhappy child. Relax your throat muscles and let that scream out.
With metta,
notself
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somewhere, long ago i read that when water splashes over a rock, its not the water making the splash, its the rocks lack of acceptance of the flow of water. im really trying to just flow right now. thanks for the encouragement=========what's metta?notself...light and love, 3jaysmom
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Metta is the concept of unconditional loving kindness towards oneself and all others. It is one of the four sublime attitudes. The other three are compassion, sympathetic joy for others and equanimity. Metta is the base.
Here is the Metta Sutta (teaching).
This is what should be done by one who is skilled in goodness, and who knows the path of peace: Let them be able and upright, straightforward and gentle in speech, humble and not conceited, contented and easily satisfied, unburdened with duties and frugal in their ways. Peaceful and calm and wise and skillful, not proud or demanding in nature. Let them not do the slightest thing that the wise would later reprove.
Wishing: In gladness and in safety, may all beings be at ease. whatever living beings there may be; whether they are weak or strong, omitting none, the great or the mighty, medium, short or small, the seen and the unseen, those living near and far away, those born and to-be-born - May all beings be at ease!
Let none deceive another, or despise any being in any state. Let none through anger or ill-will wish harm upon another. Even as a mother protects with her life her child, her only child, so with a boundless heart should one cherish all living beings; radiating kindness over the entire world: spreading upwards to the skies, and downwards to the depths; outwards and unbounded, freed from hatred and ill-will. Whether standing or walking, seated or lying down free from drowsiness, one should sustain this recollection.
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that is incredibly beautiful, i thank you so much for that wish... light and love, cheriei am awed=========
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It is my favorite. I am glad you like it as well.
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definitely something to aspire to. notself, is there a particular on-line version of the metta sutra that you like?
by the way, 2 of 3 monsters are at Dharma Camp right now. They come home tomorrow, well we drive down to get them. i think they are having fun---there were no weepy late night calls from #2 child so that is good. it was interesting to meet some of the other kids who were attending and good, i think, for my kids to see that they are NOT the only buddhist kids in the universe.
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The sutta I posted above is the translation I like the best. Here is the link.
http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/kn/khp/khp.9.amar.html
I hope your kids enjoyed camp.
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Thank you. I think they are having a fine time but will know for sure tomorrow, won't I? The only downside of camp is that it is far away which means the kids they met there will also be far away . . . oh well.
on another note, I found this blog post interesting: //progressivebuddhism.blogspot.com/2010/06/four-noble-tasks.html
sorry--can't seem to do links or cut and paste in this forum... has anyone read the book it analyzes? i suspect my husband may have it in his "to read" stack....
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Notself,
Yes, that was lovely. I felt peace wash over me as I read it.
3jaysmom,
I am sending you some healing energy your way. May it help you feel at peace.
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3monstmoma
Here is your link. http://progressivebuddhism.blogspot.com/2010/06/four-noble-tasks.html
When you paste your link you have to hit "enter" to get it to work on the page.
I read the blog and I agree with the first comment rather than the blog spot itself. I don't see anything Hindu about the 4NT. Dependant origination is the very core of "there is suffering, there is a cause of suffering, there is a way to end suffering, the way is the 8fold Path." This / that conditionality is how the ending of suffering comes about.
I do agree with the blog where he says that Hinduism flowed into Buddhism probably even before the death of Gotama. In many areas there is little or no difference between Buddhism and Hinduism. When one sticks to the 4NT and reads the directly related suttas, one sees the clarity of the core teachings. Granted it takes some sifting through the suttas to find that core. Metta and the other sublime attitudes are the engines that make the rest of the teachings function in daily life.
Molly52,
The Metta Sutta calms me as well. When I was first diagnosed, I wished metta to myself and to the cancer cells of my tumor. It helped me accept all that came after.
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notself; i didnt understand any of the blog, beause of course, i know very, very little about buddism, and yet, am always fascinated; like i am with metta.i have been reading bits of it, and carrying that around daily, or near daily,,when i dont get snagged in "today" that is. so, next question, what is 8fold path ? thank you ahead for spoonn feeding me. just like the babe i am in spirit life. feel ready to grow, and that hasnt been to accessible thru this cancer journey. even tho physically down from this surgery, another "assault" on my body..ps. says no more surgery for awhile.. no matter what they find with these tests...my body isat the giving in stage, from his eveluation. so, metta came to me at the time it was supposed to. now is for healing, and resting; even while i have to do these tests still===i have found a little haven from the chaos that is my life right now, and am curiously trying to expand that haven. Namaste' to you ladies for all your encouragement and loving kindness..light and love 3jaysmom aka cherie...
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