My Mom Passed away today...

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  • KerryMac
    KerryMac Member Posts: 3,529
    edited April 2010

    Your mother would have been proud of you, Deb. Take care of yourself.

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  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited April 2010
    Ah Deb, you done good! Laughing
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  • Leah_S
    Leah_S Member Posts: 8,458
    edited April 2010

    Deb, take comfort in knowing you helped everyone say good-bye in a way that your mother would have wanted.

    Leah

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  • Bugs
    Bugs Member Posts: 1,719
    edited April 2010

    It sounds like it was a wonderful tribute for a wonderful woman.  {{hugs}}

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  • Sydney6
    Sydney6 Member Posts: 172
    edited April 2010

    Deb - I know I'm a little late, but I am so sorry to read about your mom.  I just came on & started looking for your post where you wrote she had been in an accident to see how you and she were doing.  I'm so sorry for your loss.  I know how hard it is to lose a wonderful mother.  My heart goes out to you and your family.

    Sue

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  • cherneski
    cherneski Member Posts: 726
    edited April 2010

    Thank you to everyone. I havent been on in a while. I am sorry for not answering PM's.

    Life is once again different in ways I dont like. I was just starting to get some normal back in my life. Hair is long enough that people dont know I had cancer. Dressing like I care. Getting involved with my kids activities again. You know getting on with life, and BAM! I get smacked in the face again!  My father is such a mess I cant take it.  He has always been the rock. He is always in control. Now he is like a small child that is lost and cant stop crying. There are 4 girls, and only 2 of us help, but I guess that is normal in all families.  My 7 y/o daughter cries herself to sleep each night.  Everything sets her off to the point of sobbing.  I morn, but then I must be strong for them.  I have bits of anger, but they dont last long, I almost want them.  I feel so weird.  I have been crying for over a year now and I just want it to stop!  My husband doesnt know what to do with me, my moods are insane ( I am sure the tamoxifen doesnt help) and it is starting to take a toll on our marriage.  I am so DONE.  Yesterday the onc. office called to tell me my insurance co. denied my claim due to a pre-existing, the poor girl on the phone, I sobbed to her for about 5 minutes explaining how I lost my insurance in Jan. and didnt know, but have insurance now and should all be ok.  Called the insurance company and managed to get the words out for why I was calling and got it all taken care of.  The smallest things I cant handle.  I am/was a STRONG WOMAN!  What happened to me?  

    I

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  • amlg1
    amlg1 Member Posts: 596
    edited April 2010

    First let me just say you look great,love the hair.We were in chemo together,and my hair is about the same as yours and I am liking it.Feeling human again.

    Your poor Dad must feel so lost,loosing his partner,as I know when my Dad passed,my mom was so fragile.I never thought she would get over it,and some how she did get better.I can remember the first year was the hardest,and couldn't wait for the first Christmas to pass,the first B-day the first fathers day..but some how we get through it.He must feel very lost.It is true,that there are certan siblings that do everything,I bet you wouldn't have it any other way though.

    Yea this year has been pretty sh..ty.Things have nowhere to go but up for you!

    Oh yes,I have very little tolerance,any more,sometimes I just want to run away from everyone,husband,grown children,and now I finally am thinking of myself first.I use to always put evryone  before me.My kids are adults now,so it is a little different situation than yours

    Hugs to You !!!

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  • debbie6122
    debbie6122 Member Posts: 5,161
    edited June 2010

    Deb- (((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))

    I Have been thinking about you alot and was glad to see you posted- I wish i had some encouraging words for you but we are all here to just listen when ever you need us- You are in my thoughts; I too love your hair and new look

    gentle hugs

    Debbie

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  • negirly
    negirly Member Posts: 318
    edited June 2010

    Deb - Just wanted to add my coldolances.  My Dad passed during my chemo (in his sleep) and the timing couldn't have been any worse (I also got divorced).  Just think, if you can get through BC and this you can handle anything.

    Be strong, cry when you neeed to...

    Karyn

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  • Suzanne3131
    Suzanne3131 Member Posts: 3,953
    edited June 2010

    You are still a STRONG WOMAN.  As to what happened to you?  Grief happened to you.  Grief is unpredictable and strange.  It sneaks up on you when you aren't expecting it....it picks you up and flings you around, it messes with your sleep and your wakefulness and leaves you feeling dazed and out of control.  And it is compounded as you witness the grief of those you love.  Don't beat yourself up for feeling small and less-than-strong.  You need to treat yourself with extreme kindness.  Give yourself gentleness and allow yourself time to begin to heal and deal.  Grief hurts...and it just takes as long as it takes.  You ARE strong...and you don't have to prove it all the time.  Love and blessings to you and your family.

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