**NEW** Starting Chemo March 2009

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  • pickle
    pickle Member Posts: 1,409
    edited June 2010

    Francine: You're a doll....always saying exactly the right thing.

    BethR: So happy to hear from you and thanks for the update. Such a blessing to have a family that is looking after you. I am sure the "work of art" will be marvellous. Although I must say...in my eyes you were already a work of art...hmmmm....how does one improve on Renoir..? Get lots of rest and may your recovery be speedy and your tummy tuck be like a six pack ....lol

    Rachel: Your 8 week old "Jelly Bean"...I love that! I feel like a mother hen....hovering...anticipating your next bit of news! Cautious optimism it is...but I am sprinkling it with positive thoughts...warm wishes...big hugs.... and extra special prayersSmile

    March Warriors Rule!

    Hugs to all

    BethP

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  • crusader1
    crusader1 Member Posts: 1,222
    edited June 2010

    Hi ladies,

    Rachel..so great to hear from you and jelly bean. We all have our fingers crossed for you.

    BethR..Glad to hear you are doing well. Nice you like my blue toe nails.Those drains are annoying but do become a thing of the past before one knows it.

    Have a great week ladies.

    Tomorrow is my once monthly Breast Cancer discussion group at Gilda's Club. Upbeat women who give much support.

    Hugs,

    Francine

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  • pickle
    pickle Member Posts: 1,409
    edited June 2010

    Francine: Gilda's club...Upbeat women who give much support...You're probably the leader of the pack!

    Hugs

    beth P

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  • crusader1
    crusader1 Member Posts: 1,222
    edited June 2010

    Beth...you are definitely in my fan club. I do appreciate all your kind words. I do try to be upbeat...

    Hugs,

    Francine

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  • pickle
    pickle Member Posts: 1,409
    edited June 2010

    Francine: Again...you bring a smile to my faceSmile and this week I am really going to need them. I have a bone scan and chest x-ray Tuesday. Abdominal and pelvic ultrasound Wednesday. Bloodwork Friday. I think I am suffering from scanxiety...lol! I am so relieved that they are doing the scans to make sure everything is okay but as you all know...each scan/test brings the waiting game...sigh!Cry I'm sure everything is fine and maybe the green light from the docs confirming that all is well is just what I need to put it all behind me....F*ck we could all write a novel on this crap eh! (said in my Canadian accent)...lol

    Hugs

    Beth P

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  • crusader1
    crusader1 Member Posts: 1,222
    edited June 2010

    Beth...I can imagine how you feel. But you really need these tests to give you peace of mind. . By next weekend all this crap will be behind you. Then I guess you will have to play the waiting game. Yes that is the hardest game as we all know. You will do fine. Please feel free to dump all of your anxiety on us princesses.

    I am happy you are finally having these tests as you have been anxious for quite some time. Often when I have problems after the tests most seem to go away.

    Stay strong...We are here to listen..

    Hugs,

    Francine

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  • jdeking
    jdeking Member Posts: 408
    edited June 2010

    BethP - good luck with all of your tests! I am sure they will be fine, and will give you some peace of mind. Our thoughts will be with you while you play the waiting game.

    Bethr - congrats on making it thru the 1st surgery, and hang in there with the drain situation. I know those are a big pain. I bet you look fabulous!

    Francine - I love the blue toenails! That's awesome, you rock!

    Rachel - yay to you and jellybean, and continued prayers that all will go well.

    Gina (and BethP) - well, I am back on the darn Tamoxifen. The OB/GYN was horrified that I took myself off of it (so I failed to mention that this was the 2nd time I had done so, and was off of it for over a month the 1st time). She did an endometrial biopsy OUCH! and said I would have to do that yearly. I go on the 25th for a trans-vag ultrasound to measure thickness, and will have to do that yearly as well. She recommended that I have an ooph, or complete hysterectomy as soon as I can come to terms with it. I was greatly saddened by the whole thing. DH is very upset too, and this may be enough to lead to a divorce for us. He had the nerve to say that hysterectomies make women "crazy monsters" which I totally disagree with. But I know he really wants to have children, preferably several.

    So I started taking the dreaded T on Friday, and sleepless nights have already returned. That is my biggest problem - sleep. Plus joint pain, weight gain, mood swings, and just general BLAH feeling.

    Christy - congrats on being postmenopausal. Will you go on a different med now, like Arimidex? I thought my menstrual cycle came back, but apparently it was a 'pseudo-cycle' and has disappeared again. *Sigh*

    It's hard to believe that summer is here again. Time flies so fast these days! I hope all of you get in some great R&R and vacations this summer.

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  • pickle
    pickle Member Posts: 1,409
    edited June 2010

    Janine: Gosh I am sorry to hear that being off Tamoxifen didn't pan out for you. As far as an ooph or hysterectomy goes, have you considered getting a second opinion? I don't know you're obgyn but I already don't like her if she was "horrified" that you were off it. It's so important for a doc to work on your team not just tell you what to do. Didn't she have any options for you to consider? I know you and DH are longing for a family so it definitely would be worth seeking another opinion. I am sure there are many other women like you that still want children or have had children since BC. Is there any threads on here about it? If not maybe start a new topic and I bet you'll get lots of information.

    BTW: A hysterctomy doesn't make women "crazy monsters"...It's men that do that to us...lol!

    Hang in there

    Big...Big Hugs

    Beth P

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  • sakura73
    sakura73 Member Posts: 467
    edited June 2010

    Janine what Beth P said. If having children is important enough to you that you will accept the increased risk that comes from (a) keeping your ovaries and (b) perhaps going off the Tamoxifen now or soon, then you need a doctor who understands that those are your priorities. Complete menopause at 35 is an incredibly drastic option, and from my understanding there is absolutely NO consensus that that is best for early stage women like us, particularly where fertility remains a priority. If having no functioning ovaries was a complete protection against recurrence, menopausal women would never get breast cancer! Of course, for some women it is the right option, but not when we are yet to have our kids.

    My fertility doctor says there is no evidence that having children increases risk of recurrence and in fact there is some evidence from European studies that pregnancy may actually be protective. 

    Your DH was a bit insensitive in what he said (if you don't mind me saying so), and I hope you and he are able to talk calmly about this. But your doctor sounds very concrete in her thinking and perhaps a second opinion is in order?

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  • crusader1
    crusader1 Member Posts: 1,222
    edited June 2010

    Janine..Sorry to hear about your Docs advice. I too would see another OBGyn. Isn't it possible to save eggs to be fertilized before a hysterectomy. I believe women do that. Yes what your DH said was quite insensitive after all you have been through. Hope you work things out with the docs and with your DH. Are there any alternatives to Tamoxifin. I take Arimidex as I am postmenopausel and I do know there are a few different aromatese inhibitors.

    BethR..stay strong and look forward to getting rid of those dreaded drains which we are all too familiar with.

    BethP..Hope this week zooms by for you and your waiting game goes by fast.

    Hugs to all,,

    Francine

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  • Dawnmrn1
    Dawnmrn1 Member Posts: 446
    edited June 2010

    Beth p!  Hang in there!  Scans are a pain just think how relieved you will be when you get the good news!!!

    Beth r!  I know how you feel with the drains!  They are the worse part of the SX, I had them 4 times!!!! This too shall pass!!

    jdking! sorry for your problems! Tamoxifen is no walk in the park, but if it keeps the BC at bay, definately worth the SE!!!! I wish you and DH the best! BC does take a toll!! Good luck!

    sakura!  Keep it up your fighting spirit will carry you a long way!

    ccbaby! congrats on the menopause!!

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  • jdeking
    jdeking Member Posts: 408
    edited June 2010

    Thank you everyone, you made me feel better. These doctors can say things that just make you go from calm and rational to scared, second-guessing noodles in the blink of an eye! I will contiune to take Tamox, and hold off on any other measures for now. Seeking a 2nd opinion may be my best bet.

    My DH was insensitive, and has been increasingly so. I am seriously re-evaluating our relationship, and have been since my father passed. I am beginning to think that we are not such a great match anymore, as we seem to want different things out of life.

     Bethp and Bethr - thinking of you guys as you heal and go through test anxiety!

    Rachel - thinking of you, jellybean, and LD.

    Dawn and Francine - your cheerful and upbeat posts always make me smile.

    Love you all!

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  • crusader1
    crusader1 Member Posts: 1,222
    edited June 2010

    Hi ladies,

    Another lovely day here in ny. Tomorrow rain. Oh well...

    Janine... things do work out for the best..

    BethP..hope all went well today..

    BethR..we are thinking about you..

    Hugs,

    Francine

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  • pickle
    pickle Member Posts: 1,409
    edited June 2010

    Hello Ladies: Well the bone scan and chest xray were uneventful ...of course no one can tell you a darn thing so the waiting game begins. Tomorrow Ultrasound...Friday Blood work so I'll know something next week but I am actually just glad to get it done. Thanks for all your good thoughts. I feel really good todaySmile

    Dawn: Thank you. You are sooo right! I know I will be sooo relieved!

    Janine: Glad to hear of your tamoxifen decsion and seeking a 2nd opinion seems like a very wise decision. As far as your DH goes...I think that a cancer dx makes us look at everything and evaluate. On top of that you have had your father's death which I'm sure has added to further evaluation. Take your time, search your heart and you will know what is best for you. Hugs

    Beth R: Hope you are healing well and taking good care.

    Francine: Thank you. It was so nice of you to call. It really lifted my spirits!

    Hugs

    Beth P

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  • crusader1
    crusader1 Member Posts: 1,222
    edited June 2010

    Hi ladies,

    Thought I would add a little  sunshine to our board with a few pictures taken at the Rose Garden at the NY Botanical gardens today.

    botanicalgardens6.jpg picture by crusader1

    Hugs,

    Francine

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  • Dawnmrn1
    Dawnmrn1 Member Posts: 446
    edited June 2010

    Francine!  Beautiful and so are you!! thanks!!

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  • pickle
    pickle Member Posts: 1,409
    edited June 2010
    Francine: So Beautiful .....and the roses aren't t bad either...lolSmile
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  • ccbaby
    ccbaby Member Posts: 985
    edited June 2010

    Francine...YOU and those flowers are so beautiful!

    I also posted this on my facebook page...There is an article written about my nephew and his cancer on a website called CCHeadliner...it is a local online newspaper.

    http://www.ccheadliner.com/articles/2010/06/09/news/education/doc4c0e67390ad63653812208.txt

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  • pickle
    pickle Member Posts: 1,409
    edited June 2010

    Christy: I just read the article. He is a brave soul for sure. It's amazing how resilient kids are and they seem to take things better than most adults. I can't imagine how helpless his parents must feel. As a parent we always want to make things easy for our kids. My thoughts and prayers are with Gavine you and all the family. Keep us posted.

    Gals: I got the all clear today and can't express how relieved I am. Thanks for all your support. SFBC can kiss my a#@...lol! 

    Hugs

    Beth P

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  • Dawnmrn1
    Dawnmrn1 Member Posts: 446
    edited June 2010

    Beth P!  Great news I knew you'd be okay!!!! Bask in the glow!!

    ccbaby!  Your nephew is in my thoughts, he is a fighter!!!

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  • crusader1
    crusader1 Member Posts: 1,222
    edited June 2010

    Hi,

    BethP..I am just soooooooooo happy for you. I knew things would be fine. Now go ahead and try to feel much better. Enjoy your family and the fruits of your garden..

    Christy ..read about Gavin on FB. Quite a story. He is a brave boy. Loved green day at his school.

    I had my third Zometa infusion today for bone density. Nothing like sitting in the chemo chair once again. Truthfully I did not mind as the lady next to me and I had a wonderful conversation about  many things..not including cancer..

    We want to hear more good news. How are you BethR.

    Hugs,

    Francine

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  • sakura73
    sakura73 Member Posts: 467
    edited June 2010

    Beth P that is wonderful news!!!!

    Francine those pictures are gorgeous. 

    Janine still thinking of you.

    Christy hope your nephew can keep  up his good spirits.

    I saw the obstetrician yesterday. She thinks I am only 8 weeks pregnant, not nine. At first  I was worried this showed it was not developing properly but she said it has grown since Monday when I saw the fertility doctor. She used the ultrasound on my (fat and not pregnancy fat!) tummy and I heard the heart beat! After much thought I am going to tell my mother when I see her in Sydney this weekend, even though it is really still far too soon to be confident.  LD  agrees that this is okay. He and I had a good talk yesterday when I said that I felt he wasn't really that excited and he said that he was but that he was "sick with fear that you'll die after the baby is born". He has never really talked much about how he feels about the BC returning and I was  so glad he got that fear out into the open. It does worry me too, and I really did mean to wait a year or two to ensure the BC was not coming back. But since this has happened I am just keeping everything crossed.

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  • pickle
    pickle Member Posts: 1,409
    edited June 2010

    Rachel: Your news sounds promising and I will continue to send prayers for you and Jellybean. I really hate the fear that BC brings us. For me it is far worse than the treatment that I had. We can't let the fear keep us from what we want to do in life....we have to live today, plan for tomorrow, plan for the future but never ever plan our lives around BC coming back.  I have spent far too much time worrying. Glad you and Damian talked about.

    Gotta run....planning Winkto help my daughter move tomorrow

    Hugs

    Beth P

    Beth P

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  • Dawnmrn1
    Dawnmrn1 Member Posts: 446
    edited June 2010

    Hey Everybody!  Sounds like alot of good news on this board!!! Congrats  to all!  I have a radonc appt today, onc next week and internist the following Monday, bld will be drawn Monday.  The fear is there but I try not to let it rule me. My poor 15 yo told her MD yesterday, yes she has strep throat again, that she is afraid that I will die when she is young!!! Poor baby I will do anything to stay with her as long as I can, she knows that but has seen too much in her young life! I guess it is good she is verbalizing her fear and I guess it is good for us too!! Wishing you all a Happy Friday!!

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  • crusader1
    crusader1 Member Posts: 1,222
    edited June 2010

    Hi ladies,

    Dawn..I can imagine how you felt when you heard your daughters' feelings. Continue to show her love and do all those wonderful things you do with her and your DH..I too agree the verbalizing is good. Yes it is sad that a young girl should see these things in her family. But I do believe that adversity makes one stronger ..I am speaking from personal experiences. Enjoy each day and live life as you do to the fullest as you do.Good luck with your future tests and have good weekend.

    Beth..Hope all went well with your daughters move. I am sure you were a big help.

    Rachel..so far so good with our little jelly bean. You know we are all rooting for you. Glad that you know Damian's feelings.Talking is always good. 

    We are going away once again for a short weekend getaway. Hope we will have good weather .

    Have a good weekend all.

    Hugs,

    Francine

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  • Ricki13
    Ricki13 Member Posts: 80
    edited June 2010

    Hi everyone,

    Was just scanning through the posts and realised its been more than 6 months since I've been here. The little I've been able to catch up is amazing to me.  So many of you with new pics...looking fantastic!  Brings tears to my eyes to see you all again and hear snippets of your lives.  How wonderful!  I'll have to post a photo of myself with hair....right now it's wild and woolly. Having always had long hair I don't know what to do with it!  

    Last time I was here, we were expecting within weeks, the death of my sister from synovial sarcoma. In fact, she is still with us and doing much better.  Her oncologist was able to access a drug called sorafenib which is designed to prolong life...and in her case has stopped the growth of her tumours and has even made a few very nasty ones disappear.  This drug isn't approved for Australia yet and it's very expensive.  As far as I can tell, it's 'fallen off the back of a truck' courtesy of someone with contacts.  Best not to question, just be grateful!  She's causing quite a bit of commotion amongst the oncologists here.  They're all quite shocked shes still alive!

    As to myself, life goes on.  I returned to work full time about a month ago but I'm finding it quite hard.  Whether it's emotional or physical I'm not sure but I'm not into it and find it very difficult to stay motivated.  I've also had problems with memory, and a lot of pain in my chest wall thanks to radiotherapy etc.  Does anyone else get painful muscle spasms near their surgery site?  It's all be scanned and prodded etc.  Definitely not cancer...but either way, I'm going to cut back on work again for a while.  Anyone else still struggling with fatigue?  I know I need to lose weight...I've never been skinny but these days I am FAT!  I've lost a little weight in the past few months, but not nearly enough.  What with being treated for Graves disease and then the BC etc. I'm now about 25kgs heavier than I should be (60 lbs I think)....would be happy to lose 20kgs but it seems to come off VERY slowly.  I'm not on tamoxifen (being triple neg...just keeping my fingers crossed). Does anyone have any tips for staying focused? 

    Also wondering if anyone has had post treatment plastic surgery?  I'm considering a breast reduction of the good one, coupled with a lift of the bad one to make them more symmetrical but I can't decide what to do.  Lose weight first definitely.  My cancer was on the underside of my right breast and it looks like someone's taken a big bite out of it and it's quite deflated post radiotherapy. I'm very conflicted at the moment about this whole thing...being single, dating etc.  Went to dinner with someone I met via work a week ago and I was terrified in case he got any romantic ideas.  It's like some kind of 're-virginising' at the age of 40.  Blerg!

     Rachel, your news is wonderful!  

    And Gina you must be doing really well to be in training for a run!  Perhaps I can tap into your mind for inspiration....

     Love to everyone, R xo

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  • sakura73
    sakura73 Member Posts: 467
    edited June 2010

    Dear Ricki, it is SO GOOD to see you here, and to hear of your sister! How wonderful and what a blessing. Yes, I still get lots of aches and pains in and around the surgery site, especially along what must be the internal scar lines, and my arm still throbs and feels (but isn't) swollen. Like you I gained weight and can't seem to lose it. Would love to see a picture of your hair!

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  • pickle
    pickle Member Posts: 1,409
    edited June 2010

    Hi Ricki: So wonderful to hear from you. I'm looking forward to a new pic with your hair!

    Wow that is amzing news aout your sister. I hope she continues on the healing path.I bet she's making quite an impression on the oncologists. Hopefully her story will help fast track the drug for others. I am still struggling with some fatigue...although I'm beginning to think I'm just getting lazy...lol! As far as my memory and concentration...not great. Still having some issues but managing ok. The one thing I do now that I never needed to do before is that I write everything down. I keep a daytimer and also put all my appointments, reminders etc in my Blackberry. I hope the chemo fog lifts one day but I also think part of the memory/concentration stuff is due to menopause as well.

    I had post treatment reconstruction. Tissue Expander was placed in February on the mx side and I will be getting it exchanged and an implant in the good side on July 26. The surgeon usually waits six months but I saw him last week and he said the tissue has healed really well so I don't have to wait until September. I can't wait to get it done!

    That's great that you went on a date. Just remember that guys are not near as critical of us as we are of ourselves. Even without BC, women tend to be so self loathing when it comes to body image. I was watching TV with my DH a few nights ago and every other commercial was for wrinkle creams, diets, how to get in shape for swim suit season, make-up, hair etc....it was crazy. I said to my husband "Isn't it amazing that all the commercials are about women's looks..beauty and NOT one commercial was aimed at men's grooming etc"  It's no wonder women are so hard on themselves. The media and society expects ridiculous things from us.

    Hold you head high and exude the warmth and beauty that is you!

    Again, so nice to have you back here.

    Hugs

    Beth P

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  • pickle
    pickle Member Posts: 1,409
    edited June 2010

    Ladies: What are you all doing for exercise? I need some motivation and help. Do any of you have a routine that you do? The weather is great for walking right now. Anyone want to be a cyber walk buddy?

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  • crusader1
    crusader1 Member Posts: 1,222
    edited June 2010

    Hi Friends,

    So glad to hear from   youRicki..So happy to hear about your sister. I saw that the drug given to your sister is approved here in the USA.

    My DH and I went away for the weekend. Weather was rather dreary to say the least but it was nice just to be in a new setting. Shopping was a viable alterative and of course I managed to get a few things I NEED. LOL

    I try to exercise about three times a week but at my gym. I walk about a mile and a half at a good speed. I should try to watch my food intake..It's easy at home but being out is always difficult.

    Beth..great news about you getting your implant sooner than expected. It's funny being away this weekend I never really thought about my breast or implant..

    Hope all are well after this very quiet weekend.

    Hugs,

    Francine

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