When BC Leads to Divorce

When a couple has already endured numerous crisis' they didn't create, yet life just keeps beating the hell out of you and then breast cancer jumps on board too, well, we all have a breaking point no matter how much we love our partner.

If we barely have enough time to get back on our feet before we get knocked back down again, it takes it's toll. Love is never enough for too many uninvited catastrophes.

Since October 5th, 1997 my first born son was diagnosed as someone with paranoid schizophrenia on the same day my second born son became a father at the age of 17. Cause of first son's disease? No Rhogham shots for me after 4 miscarriages. Known cause! Google it if you like at schizophrenia.com. My husband was diagnosed a few years prior with bi-polar hypomania type. The mild form of it.Very treatable. My grandson was diagnosed with childhood onset bi-polar. His mother was the worst case of bipolar I have ever witnessed and I work in the field. Then my niece was killed by a physician during bariatric treatment surgery. We were all very close with her. In fact, at one point I almost adopted her. I spent ten years re-raising my son into a life of independence because the system of care for the mentally ill sucks and someone had to do it. Today he lives on his own, works and is doing great. Only 5% get to where he is at! During those ten years, I had gall bladder surgey, lens inplants for cataracts, was diagnosed by a blood test with systemic yeast.Then I tore my meniscus due to a trip over a rug at my son's apartment had medial and lateral menisectomy and as soon as I got back on my feet again, able to finally walk without support, (took 6 months of surgery, recovery and PT), I tripped over a carpet mat and broke my shoulder. Another 4 months to heal! But, while my shoulder was still aching, I found my dream job and less than a year later BC happened. I worked all the way through chemo and radiation. Then..... first my husband's employer (while my hair hadn't even grown back in yet), eliminated overtime, next they froze my his pension, started giving a little lay off here and there,  took away his health insurance, then almost half his wages and created a hostile working environment for anyone over 50. He began having panic attacks because 40 years of working his ass off toward an affordable retirement was being stripped away. Doc ordered a 30 day disability leave. The day he returned, he was terminated for leaving the building during a severe panic attack. He had to go on Social Security Disability, cutting his income by 3/4. We lost our house, and now we are losing our rentals (which was our affordable retirement plan!) They were almost paid off too. But maintenence was killing us! We now live in an apartment and he went from being a productive person who managed his disease very well to someone who just couldn't take anymore. But in his need to place blame, find fault I became the target. Panic disorder does not allow confrontation with anyone other than the one you know will still be there when you are done! I have no delusions about why he needed to leave, I just knew it wasn't because of me and could only hope he could see this for himself!

THE POWER OF "Partners in Hope" Video:

I just got off the phone with my husband. He just finished watching this DVD. He feels like an ass and is coming home. Taking his inventory and getting help when he gets here! Very powerful DVD. Suddenly I'm not his problem any more! The lack of help and support he didn't pursue is! He's gonna have to get some. Will remain in the role of the observor and listen to what he does instead of what he says. One day a a time!

Gotta tell ya, I wasn't planning on sending it to him. Thought it was too late, but a cyber friend suggested it and I did it reluctantly! 

It helped so much, I feel so blessed. Even if we don't make it, he now knows what this ride did to us!

BC was the stick that broke the camel's back. Not because of anything we had any control over.