Less than two weeks 'til my surgery ... help!

Oh, dear, I can hear your confusion and concern!  I can't really advise you on what is best for YOU, but I can give you some things to think about, things that influenced my decision to have my remaining breast removed and both reconstructed: 

1.  Yes, mastectomy to reduce risk of bc is acceptable.  For me, the risk of a bc in the remaining breast is higher than the general population, but not so high as to be a certainty.  However, he anxiety, fear, pain and horror of the annual mammogram process is more than I am willing to live with.  While finances for the mammos are not an issue, and I'm too claustrophobic to ever have an MRI even if it were recommended, I can see where that is an important consideration, and one that is likely to be come more and more important over time as I don't imagine MRI costs will go down in the future. 

2.  Will you miss your breasts?  Sure.  Mastectomy is a fancy word for amputation.  EVERYONE who has an amputation misses the body part that is lost.  Everyone grieves losing a body part.  That is normal.  Will the benefits of being breastless outwiegh the loss of the breasts?  Hard to say.  Like you, I'm a uni and, while I've made friends with Silicone Sally, she is still uncomfortable, hot and heavy, and leaving home without putting on a bra and the prosthesis is uncomfortable for me now that t-shirt and tank top weather is here.  Being DDD on the right and -A on the left makes for some funny looks when I'm not wearing a sweater, jacket or coat. 

3.  These decisions can be made in steps.  For instance, have your ovaries removed, recover, and see what life is like that way.  Perhaps knowing the bc risk is much lower after that will make the mammos and MRIs less anxiety producing, although it won't change the cost issue.  If you live without ovaries for a while and find yourself wanting to have the other breast removed (for whaever reasons, doesn't matter), then you can have the remaining breast removed.  Recon does not have to be done immediately.  Live without breasts for a while.  If you like that state, stay breastless.  You'd be able to use prostheses when you wanted to (some have different sizes for different occasions or moods) and go without when you don't want.  If you decide you would prefer to have breasts then you can research recon procedures and make a considered choice.  

4. Considering recon choices--be aware that TRAM or DEIP flap recon can only be done once.  If you reconstruct one breast that way, then later want to recon the other you would have to use one of the other procedures.  This is one thing that factored into my choice of prophy mast with bilateral recon--I can't stomach the thought of implants, lat dorsi recon won't give me enough breast size to even show without implants.  Each process has it's pros and cons.  If you haven't already heard about it, Kathy Steligo wrote a book called The Breast Reconstruction Guidebook  Issues and Answers from Research to Recovery.  I got a used copy from Amazon for a couple dollars including shipping, and many libraries have it.  She goes through each procedure in detail and lists pros and cons.  

5.  One last thing--it's perfectly normal to have second thoughts right before a major change or procedure.  It's so common it has cliches to describe it:  "cold feet"  "wedding jitters"  and a medical term:  "decisional conflict" 

6.  Ok thought of one more thing--any insurance that covers mastectomy must also cover reconstruction INCLUDING procedures to the opposite breast to acheive symmetry, so if you chose to reconstruct one breast the lift or reduction (or both) to the other would be covered.  

TAKE YOUR TIME MAKING UP YOUR MIND!  You have time to think, and if you need more time to think and research, TAKE IT!

Pink,

If you haven't heard about it already there is a website you should check out called BreastFree.org 

It was created by one of our own BCO members Erica (Barb) and has a wealth of information for women trying to make the decision re: reconstruction or going breast free.  There are many personal stories, photos and very informative topics that you may find very helpful.

I know you are struggling with your choices now and my only suggestion would be to give yourself more time until you can truly feel at peace with your decision. NativeMainer has given you some excellent advice.  Take it one step at a time, don't feel you need to make a decision about everything all at the same time.  Research and talk to others, but ultimately it has to be what you feel you can most easily live with.

I will say that I had bilateral masts, one modified radical, the other prophylactic (but with a previous history of BC) and I chose not to have reconstruction.  I am very happy with my choice, I go flat without prosthesis and find it gives me total freedom and comfort which is a high priority for me.

I wish you the best in your decision process and the best possible of outcomes.  I hope you will give yourself the time to find out what that best decision is.

Hi Pinkbutterfly-

I don't know if you have had surgery or not. I had a unilateral for 4 years and I was ok with it. But once I had the bilateral, I became a nut case.  

I don't know what happened. I thought I was prepared..but I wasn't. You can send me a private message if you want to and I will talk with you privately.