Radiation--yes or no--advice please?

I have had a bilateral mx for DCIS with 1mm microinvasion.  This was in March.  My surgeon and onc both said I was done with treatment, although because of my fear and my family history I insisted on Evista.  I did research on the internet and found that women with my margin--<1mm--were being given, sometimes, radiation after mx.  I had high grade, etc.  I went for a second opinion (I am almost three months since surgery), and was given a "soft" recommendation for radiation.  I was told it would likely ruin my recon (TE's) but lessen my chances of recurrence by 50%, although there's no great studies on this.

My surgeon and onc were appalled, and insist I see another rad onc, who they say will contradict this.  

I don't know if I can rest easy thinking someone gave me a rec of rads (even a soft one) I didn't take.  I'm 48, with a 14 year old, and watched my mother die at 52.  But I was so happy with my recon--the one thing I managed to salvage with some joy after all this...and to think it might be unnecessary, the end of the recon, and a total change of what might have been a nice summer...

So, I'm asking for advice, knowing full well I have to make this decision myself, but really needing a thought or two that doesn't seem, as the med community's, based on a theory or self-interest, etc.  Thank you!