When you least expect it!

goodvibesonly
goodvibesonly Member Posts: 183
edited June 2014 in Recommend Your Resources

I thought that it would be nice to have a topic that addresses the connections that we make with other women who have breast cancer.   We have all had people say, "oh my friend had breast cancer" or "my daughter, mother, sister, aunt, grandmother" whatever went through what you are going through, etc... HOWEVER, when we meet someone (sometimes by chance!) that has tackled this terrible disease it can be very supportive.

I met two people this week that have breast cancer. The first woman I met at a family funeral. I did not know her at all. I was standing beside her when some people were moving chairs into the  funeral home to give more seating.  When I mentioned to her that I would help but just had surgery and can't lift things she asked what surgery I had.  I told her that I had breast cancer and was doing reconstructive surgery. I remember hesitating a little bit. I share with friends alot but not usually with complete stangers....She said she was a 12 year survivor of breast cancer. We immediately developed a bond.  We may never see each other again (living very far from each other) but our hugs goodbye later on will linger with me for a long time.

I was at a friend's barbeque last night. One of the guests has gone through breast cancer. The host has told me about her awhile ago. But, it was just a "I have this friend that has gone through what you went through" conversation that I just nodded about. But, meeting Mary, and chatting, was so wonderful.  We exchanged email addresses and will keep in contact.

Awhile ago I was at a restaurant with some of my friends. These woman I have invited along my process of getting my implants. I wanted to show them my boobs since my TE surgery. So, we went into the bathroom (5 woman plus me).  It was sort of crowded by the sinks, but I took off my top to show them. A woman came in...and I apologized and told her what I was doing.  She said she understood since she is a cancer survivor also. She said, "Been there already. Good luck!"

Where have you met people who have been diagnosed with breast cancer?   How did it happen that you made that connection? Did you feel comfortable sharing with the person?  Not everyone feels comfortable or would share with a complete stranger. But I am glad I did!  I will hesitate less next time!

l

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  • badger
    badger Member Posts: 34,614
    edited May 2010

    Good morning Jean, what a nice topic!  I made friends at work when I least expected it.

    Hadn't told many people at work about BC diagnosis and BMX surgery, just said I was taking a two-week medical leave.  Then I learned there was a positive node, meaning chemo, so I went public as I decided to go commando (no wigs, hats, or scarves). 

    One woman came up to me and stuck out her hand and said welcome to the club.  She's a 12-year stage 3 survivor who now calls me her "fuzzy friend" (I did not shave my head but cut my hair very short before most of it fell out so I am fuzzy LOL).  She also had mx and chemo but years ago it was a different world so it's interesting to hear about her experiences.

    Made friends with another woman by just joking around one day.  We discovered that pregnant women and women on chemo have many similarities including: keeping food on-hand at all times for nausea, foot & ankle swelling, forgetfulness / mental fog, food cravings & dislikes, sensitivity to smells, sensitivity to light, the list goes on.  Turns out her mom is a BC survivor, and we're all walking the Komen 5k on June 5.

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  • Bambaloos
    Bambaloos Member Posts: 85
    edited May 2010

    I have a story - I work for a major airline at an airport.  I was helping this Gentleman at the counter and he looked at my ID badge and said "I cannot belive you cut all your hair off" - well, I told him it was not my choice and that I was going through chemo.  He then told me he is a 12 year breast cancer survivor himself, and he had the most incredible head of hair I have ever seen on a man before.  We talked for quite a while, and when he left he asked for my last name because he was going to put me on his prayer list!

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  • goodvibesonly
    goodvibesonly Member Posts: 183
    edited May 2010

    Groundhog--That is great that you connected with the woman who is 12 year survivor.  It must have been very helpful to both of you to talk.  It always gives me hope when I meet someone who has more than a few years post cancer Dx.  Also the connection with the pregnant woman at work is very interesting. The connection is very true, though.  But, how wonderful to be able to  walk together in the Komen 5k on June 5th.  These are conversations that lead so many places.

    Bamboloos-thanks for sharing your story.  That is amazing that you met the man at the counter of your work.  And he is a 12 year breast cancer survivor!  You seem like someone who shares your dx.  Did you hesistate when he asked you about your hair or just say it without thinking twice?  I wonder if he thought that maybe you were in tx for cancer and that was why he asked.  That is very touching that he is putting you on his prayer list. 

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  • dlb823
    dlb823 Member Posts: 9,430
    edited May 2010

    Jean ~ What a nice topic! 

    When I was first dx'd, a woman I had known only casually (she works in a shop I've frequented for a number of years) who I knew was a long time bc survivor, reached out to me after I'd confided my dx to one of her co-workers, who was also an aquaintance, but who I'd run into at the market and poured my heart out to on one of my lowest days. Anyway, Anna, the bc-survivor, sent me a little guardian angel figurine, as well as a card every few weeks throughout my tx.  She was so genuinely concerned and available, I found myself stopping in where she works whenever I was about to start a new phase of tx or wrestling with a decision, like which oncologist to use.  No matter how busy she was, she would stop whatever she was doing and focus her eyes and ears completely on me.  And just knowing she'd been there and truly understood the emotional turmoil I was going through was always so reassuring.

    After I finished my tx, a life coach friend of mine told me something that I think is key to regaining our wholeness -- that when something traumatic happens to us, we need to find a way to use it for good, or we continue to be victims.  I understand now that's what Anna was doing by reaching out to me, and one of the reasons I think some of us probably stay on BCO --  to reasssure newly-dx'd women that they will get through it.     Deanna

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  • Bambaloos
    Bambaloos Member Posts: 85
    edited June 2010

    Good Morning Ladies - Just wanted to reply to Goodvibesonly - Yes I have no problem with sharing my DX with anyone that asks! I did not hesitate when the customer asked me about my hair.  I am amazed at the stories I have heard from total strangers - it seems everyone has been touched by this disgusting disease in some way.  I cannot wait to be healthy again so I can help as many people as I can who have to go through this journey.  I hope everyone is doing well, sending love and healing thoughts your way..............Mandy

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