FIRST MAMMOGRAM AFTER REMOVAL OF LUMP

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Deborah51
Deborah51 Member Posts: 19
edited June 2014 in Mental Health: Because Cancer Doesn't Just Affect Your Breasts

Hi

 Am so very scared I have a mammogram coming up on 15th July and am getting in a state and it is two months away - I guess I didnt worry about the one last year as it was routine and was not over concerned until they found the lump - albeit small and grade I however had lump removed followed by 4 months of chemo and I month of radiotherapy !

 Am now expected to bounce back and be the same old Debbie but she is gone and I am so very depressed but putting on a brave face and trying to be positive but am so very scared as to what they will find !!

I find everyone wants a part of me like before and I just cant be bothered - used to love socialising going out and meeting friends but it is getting to the stage when they suggest a date to meet up I panic - AM I GOING MAD !!!!

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  • Bren-2007
    Bren-2007 Member Posts: 6,241
    edited May 2010

    Hi Deb .. the first mammo for me after my lumptectomy was terrifying.  We have lost all trust that our bodies are fine by that point.  The second one didn't bother me as much, but I was quite nervous about the third one a couple months ago.

    It takes time, but hopefully, we get back to our old routine between mammos.  My surgeon's wife had breast cancer and he said she get's nervous too, as do all his patients.  We have reason to nervous.

    Visiting with friends might take your mind off the mammo in July.

    I also recommend talking to your onco or PCP about antidepression medication.  I take two kinds of anti-depressants and they help me so much ... they help with the anxiety too.

    Wishing you all the best,

    Bren

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  • Deborah51
    Deborah51 Member Posts: 19
    edited May 2010

    Thank you so much I think I know i will be fine but I cant stop thinking what IF !!

     Agree I have lost trust in my body as didnt even feel unwell before the routine mammogram ! I am already on anti depressants but thanks for the advice - am seeing Oncologist on 18th June so will have a chat to him he is lovely!  Have had lots of support good husband great kids and grandchildren and friends but they cant really understand as they have not been through it !!

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  • Bren-2007
    Bren-2007 Member Posts: 6,241
    edited May 2010

    You're right family and friends just can't appreciate the fear we go through with our mammos now.  My palms get sweaty and I get panicky too. 

    It helps knowing we aren't alone in this fear!

    hugs,

    Bren

    Edited:  I forgot to add that I get very anxious because my lumpectomy side is very tender to touch .. even after 3 years, so I really dread the mammo and physical exam.

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  • AmyIsStrong
    AmyIsStrong Member Posts: 1,755
    edited May 2010

    The cancer psychologist that I see just talked to me about this last week. She said that this 'scanxiety' that we feel when facing testing is completely normal and mostly unavoidable. She said that for approx 2 weeks before the scheduled test, the tension will build and the best approach is to just try to keep busy to keep your mind off it. She said that then, after the test, when the results are normal, you will relax again. She said that after a few cycles of this, we will start to get less anxious as the tests approach, but we need some good news under our belts before we will relax about them.

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  • AmyIsStrong
    AmyIsStrong Member Posts: 1,755
    edited May 2010

    The cancer psychologist that I see just talked to me about this last week. She said that this 'scanxiety' that we feel when facing testing is completely normal and mostly unavoidable. She said that for approx 2 weeks before the scheduled test, the tension will build and the best approach is to just try to keep busy to keep your mind off it. She said that then, after the test, when the results are normal, you will relax again. She said that after a few cycles of this, we will start to get less anxious as the tests approach, but we need some good news under our belts before we will relax about them.

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  • YramAL
    YramAL Member Posts: 1,651
    edited May 2010

    Deborah-

    I know exactly how you feel. I have my first post cancer treatment mammogram on my "bad" breast on June 4th. I, too, had no clue that my routine mammogram last November would turn up cancer. I couldn't feel the lump even when I knew where it was! I'm hoping for good results from this mammogram because then I don't have to have another one until December. Of course, now I'm paranoid about my "good" breast.....

    Mary 

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  • Deborah51
    Deborah51 Member Posts: 19
    edited May 2010

    Thank you so much for your support just want the 15th July to roll on and just wish I could calm down - sometimes I look at my wigs I had two and it's so unreal even after all this time - diagnosed June 2009 but seeing Oncologist on 18th June so perhaps he can calm me down. Failing that will go back and have some more counselling as think I need it !

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  • shorfi
    shorfi Member Posts: 791
    edited May 2010

    Deborah - The fear does somewhat lessen after while. I am not an anxious as I was 5 1/2 years ago, but it took quite some time for that to happen. I recently had my annual bilateral MRI and everything was fine. You are so right though...family and friends will never know exactly how we feel and the fears we have. They feel as though it is "all over", but for us, it's not.

    My lumpectomy side is tender to the touch also and sometimes I feel a lot of pain there, yet everything is fine. I sometimes wonder.

    But I have learned too that I have to trust my surgical and medical oncologists. They know more than me, and if they are okay, I should be too :)

    I will stop in to check on you and have every confidence that your first mammogram will be fine.

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