Starting Chemo February 2009?

((Artemis)),

Cheryl~ I hate that we are all still stressed about BC but it does me a lot of good to know that I am not alone. 

I feel like I am still in cancer land with all of the surgeries that I have had recently and the fact that I am still healing.  I can't stand it.....but where else can you go ??  I don't think that I need to go back into counceling yet, but I always reserve the right to go back.  I have a bad case of canceritis recently because my back is hurting like crazy but I think it is from sitting and just being weak.  Another thing that is bothering me is I am back to trying to be a night owl...so I need to get some lunesta and get back on track.  I need to sleep at night and stop dragging thru the day. 

Cheryl - great news on the Biopsy!!

Michele - Ohh, UTI, no fun. Hope you are feeling better this morning! I'm glad you are going for recon. I am still not sure....don't know about implants after rads, although my BS seems to think I would be OK. I just don't know if I really want to go through all the recovery of Surgery. And being a Uniboob really doesn't bother me that much. I've been trying to think why....I just think my fear of reoccurance is so much higher than my worry about only having one boob. It kind of overshadows things a bit. 

We have a long weekend coming up and we are going away to the Cottage- cannot wait! And the weather is even looking good (it is usually freezing cold!)

Cheryl:  great news about the biopsy!  Reading your post, it concerns me that your therapist doesn't get it and would tell you to simply stop dwelling on your bc....it's not like we *want* to dwell on it, but how can we totally just never think about it, that's unrealistic.  That really irked me, that he said that to you, like you're doing something wrong here, when you're just going through something that to me seems par for the course.

Michele:  hope you feel better soon...I had a UTI a couple of months ago, and had forgotten how painful they are, yuck.  I do plan to start taking something, I want to take curcumin, which has blood thinning properties, but have been told that until I get the genetic clotting test, I shouldn't take anything at all.  I'm with ya on the PS issue....I have a new appt in July (have to be off coumadin for 2 months prior to any surgery), but am leaning toward DIEP or something similar...I know my body, and get a feeling it would reject implants, but I am not sure I have enough fat anywhere to make 2 foobs.

Kerry:  I had rads in 2004, thought my skin held up well, but in order to do an implant on that side, the PS had said I would need a flap because my skin is "thin" on that side....I figured if I have to get a flap on that side, I may as well get the DIEP or GAP.

The problem is that no one at U of M does the DIEP or GAP, so I will probably cancel the appt.  I need to talk to my insurance co and see what they will cover out of state.  I found that one of the NOLA docs recently added a Chicago location, that's only a 5 hour drive from here, so I will look into that.

Well, off to actually get something accomplished today.  Hugs to you guys : )

Oh, shoot Michele...go home as soon as you can.

Oh dear, Michele.  I hope you feel better tomorrow.  Nausea is bad enough when you have to work, but what you're experiencing sounds miserable.

Kerry, have fun at the cottage. That's one thing all my Canadian cousins have that all of us south of the border don't so much, is a cottage. I think you all have it right on that subject.

We ALWAYS love negative biopsies here. 

Funny how our "new normal" seems has its own highs and lows. I'm sure our friends and loved ones are thinking - isn't it great that you beat cancer. Now you can get on with your life and everything will be normal again.  I don't know about any of the rest of you, but normal seems like a distant memory for me now. Right now I feel like I will forever be looking over my shoulder waiting for the cancer to return. You ladies who have dealt with recurrence - how were you able to get past this?

I had an odd dream last night - the first one I can truly recall the theme and not simply mental pictures of the hair, or lack thereof. My former next door neighbor who ended her chemo as mine was starting was there and we were painting 2 versions of the same scene. Lots of food for thought there.

yes better. thanks. 

I went home at lunch and took a long nap.  By evening the antibiotics were working and I had some relief from the pain.  I took a xanax last night and actually slept through... So, I do still have some discomfort today but it isn't that bad. 

I did want to post about something here... I've decided to have te's put in.  I know that Jaimie had a bad experience and am praying that she's our token implant-rejector for the Furies!  I would rather have the GAP but can't take off that much time from work.  There's no way...

So... I'm going in on Friday 5/28 to have my ovaries out and te's put in. Do you guys think I'm doing the right thing?

Michele:  that is great, I'm jealous ; )  Alot of women seem happy with their implants, and have no issues like our poor Jaimie : )  Glad you're feeling better.

Nancy, I think new normal sucks, too.  My hubby does get it though, although  he doesn't seem too thrilled sometimes....I'm definitely moodier these days.  I don't think we have anyone in our group dealing with a recurrence thank god!

It was a gorgeous day today, got my flowers planted.  I tried going to garage sales, but was kind of depressed, so I came home to garden instead.  My husband has an interview in Indiana tomorrow...if he gets the job, he will have to rent a room during the week, and come home weekends.  but it is important to him to get a job in his field, he hates the job he currently has.

Hey Kim!  I'm in the same boat...just had my first period 2 weeks ago, and now today, I'm spotting again!  UGH!  this sucks.  I think I'll schedule an appt with my gyn to see what he has to say about this.  It's great that you got new foobs, I hope to follow suite soon...and you are very brave to have a teenage girl party, lol...I haven't had to deal with that in a very long time, and I don't miss that at all!  Too much noise, lol

I haven't seen much on post-chemopause either, I am definitely having another period, my first one just ended on May 7th, so it's only been 16 days!!!  No fair!  In the past my gyn has suggested the procedure where they freeze or laser (can't remember which) the lining of the uterus to reduce flow...I may look into that if this doesn't improve.

I thought you were having a sleepover with all those teens, lol...not so bad if they were all gone by midnight I guess...I've not had a party that big with teens, except for graduation party.

Hope everyone is having a great weekend!  It's gorgeous here this morning, got more outdoor work to do, so I'm off to cook breakfast.

Michele quick question for you as I know you research alot too...I was dead set against doing a hysto but since I have been having such issues, I questioned my oncologists about going this route and she said that if I can keep my ovaries that would be the best as it provides protection for my bones and heart.  If I remember right, you did have your ovaries removed?? Can you share your thoughts?  Thanks.

Michele~ You are going to do fantastic on Friday !! 

DO NOT LET ANYTHING THAT HAPPENED TO ME STOP YOU FROM RECONSTRUCTION!!!  DO YOU HEAR ME ???  (this goes for everyone....I have a list a mile long of allergies...and while my silicone foobies (boobies) looked fantastic....not kidding they are just not still with me because of my allergies). 

So now that I have said this if anyone wants info on either I can help   Speaking of allergies I am having a reaction to disolvable stitches in my new nipples.  Didn't I tell you that I am a freak...lol...

Baby's birthday party is today and I have some photography training that I am going to go to tomorrow in VA.  So if I am quiet that is why......   Michele you will be in my thoughts this week while you are in the tube. ((hugs))

clean PET! whoo hoo!!

Still waiting on the MRI results but my favorite tech gave me the "thumbs up" 

{{{apple}}} Have you had a biopsy of it?? What about a PET? Maybe it is just an angry node? I had a couple of those in my arm but the are gone now.    {{{more hugs}}}

Apple...thinking of you. Let us know, OK. Remember you have all thought something was happening before and it wasn't. ((((hugs))))

Michele~ Thrilled for you and your clean scans   BTW, I hope you have an uneventful surgery this week. 

Apple~ I hope you indicator is once again, wrong....

Judy~ hopefully they can help Julia. ((hugs))

Artemis~ My back is feeling a little bit better but I went to a photography group session which was really a ton of fun.  My back is so weak that I think holding my camera (it's about 8lbs) to my face is not helping my back.  I really need to get to the gym and start getting back on the right track.  I have a wedding scheduled next month and I think that my back is going to not be happy with me after that day.