MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish
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Congrats, Paulding. That sounds like fun. Cookie, you have a great time, too!
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Mother's Day...I thought I had trained my boys during their wonder years. Their father provided a good example. They certainly went to the kind of pre-school and elementary school that made multiple crafts and wearable gifts each year. They seemed off to a good start. What happened?
I know why I did not get any flowers. The day before, when my husband was going to mow, I noticed that my houndog had trampled eight or 10 irises and they were lying flat on the lawn in the path of the mower. I got to them first and made a nice arrangement out of them. I'm actually glad I did not get a gift bouquet. No need to double up.
Earler in the week, I had hinted on an activity. "Why don't we all go horseback riding?" I suggested. Was that too subtle? No matter, as a day of rain dashed that possibility anyway. I did get a raincheck for a future Sunday of badminton playing and that was no mean feat as the thought of having to brandish what they think of as sissified tennis raquets is loathesome to my 18 and 20-year-old sons.
My older boy, caught off guard until Sat. night that a holiday was approaching, did manage to go out somewhere (Dollar Store?) yesterday for a card and gift. The card was in Spanish, and luckily I could make out three-quarters of the sentiment. At least it was por el Dia de las Madres, and not a Cinco de Mayo leftover. The gift was a pair of flip-flops, only one size too small. For sizing, my son used the reasoning that anything he could not get his size-12 hoof into should fit me.
We did go out to dinner, of course. They have learned that there will be no cooking on my part on this day. We went to a very nice Thai restaurant. They kept the locker room talk to a minimum during the meal which in itself was a refreshing change. When the check arrived, my youngest informed Dad that he "left his wallet at home." After his attending two Proms in the last week, I can tell you that the forgotten wallet was not going to be able to make any kind of contribution anyway.
You more astute readers will notice that I have not mentioned getting any chocolates or candy. That meant a stop at Walgreens on the way home from the restaurant. What packaged delicacy from the candy aisle would most compliment a Thai meal? I suppose it's a matter of personal taste. Can you guess what I got? You know my low-brow tastes. You know how I have that penchant for the orange snacks. It's not too surprising, then, that I was chomping the circus peanuts (mmm-fresh!) back at home while watching Desperate Housewives. Don't think for a minute that any male member of the family watched that with me. I had already gotten the badminton concession earlier in the day, and they have their limits.
My younger boy, the pauper, did give me a 20 minute back massage after that, playfully finishing with a "rear naked choke" that he learned from UFC Championship viewing. By the way, that is just a name of a hold---no one had their clothes off. Not here. Not in the Octagon either.
So, I trust you ladies had a great day...that you probably feel even better about NOW.
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Elimar-I LOVE you & your humor ! Sounds to me like you are a great Mom!
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Hello all, I just found this thread. I'll be 50 this summer so I think I'm right in the middle of the age range. I too am in teenage horror land with 3 munchkins. Most of the time it is OK and not too bad. The part that drives me nuts is the not taking responsibility for anything - and they look so innocent while you either saw or heard them do it. Just weird.
I had my surgery on March 5th. Most of the time I think I'm OK but it still hits me at odd times and I end up crying and feeling pretty hopless. But then I'm back to being OK. I can't say I was looking forward to my 50th birthday because I'ver never liked being the center of attention so I usually have low key birthdays but I had been thinking this year maybe I'd do something different but with the BC - so far I'm not feeling like it. I know I should be taking advantage and grateful that everything is OK and "taken care of surgically" but I just can't feel that yet. I am divorced so that also plays into it I'm sure.
Anyway, nice to hear from people my age and some with teenagers going though bc. Thanks.
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Welcome Stanzie, love the user name, sounds cute ans sassy.
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Ahhhh, Elimar, what a magical day of adoration you experienced! At least it wasn't a "Feliz Dia de los Muertos" card. And circus peanuts? It is unclear if this treat was selected FOR you or BY you.
My sister in Arizona took my mom out for a wonderful Chinese meal, and then as they were walking to the car, my perfectly healthy mother fell over the edge of a parking block that she didn't see and may have broken her kneecap. She says she "literally fell onto her face" - hitting her chin. I am hoping this isn't a big nightmare. My sister says she got my mom "lunch, flowers, a card, crutches, and Vicodin" for Mother's Day. Nice.
I find it's best to keep expectations low on Mother's Day. It's not like Father's Day, which is coordinated by a mom. If I can manage to get out of cooking a meal or two or even cleaning up from one, and if I get a card, we're good. At least I didn't get crutches.
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Kleenex-your poor mom! But at least you have good "guilting' material for eons on your sister!
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" It's not like Father's Day, which is coordinated by a mom."
I woke up and cleaned house as my parents were coming over for dinner. We went to church and in caring for the nursery, DH managed to give me all the little ones who deperately wanted their own mommy. I aklso got the blessing of changing the most disgusting diaper in years. We headed home, and DS#3 was off to work. DS#2 called for the third time in the weekend to wish me a Happy Mother's Day. Being in Japan, he wanted to hit Mother's Day, there, and here. I spent the afternoon on my feet preparing the meal, and DH sat watching TV. Finally at 3:30 I sat down beside him only to have him nod off. The door bell rang and it was time to put on the meal. I cooked and served, gave mother a beautiful plant and Card. Time to clean up dinner, and DH had t run outside because ....wel because he had something to do. Cleaned up, visited, sent parents on their way. Cleaned more and went to bed. This morning after my shower, DH left a card on my pillow. He said he didn't want me to think he'd forgotten and bought one today. Hmmmm. Isn't it great to have a house full of males? DS#1 is in Afghanastan and could not call. Just another Sunday...
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(((((((((((((((((((((((((Elimar))))))))))))))))))
&
(((((((((((((((((((((((((Meece))))))))))))))))))))))
& any other mother who needs and extra ((((((((((((((((((((((HUG)))))))))))))))))))))))
including (((((((((((((((((((((((((Kleenex's Mom))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
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Thanks, Ainm. You know, you have to remind us of your holidays. Don't you have Mothering Sunday sometime in March, like England? We tend to be Ameri-centric about our holidays, I think, so just throw yours into the mix whenever you feel like it.
Hello and welcome to Stanzie!
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Stanze...welcome....like you, I was Dx 3 month before turning 50.....I was so looking forward to my BIG 50....yes it was memorable, but not how I planned....had chemo #3 4 days before my b'day....I had 2 teenagers (one in high school and one in college) and a 2nd grader. Today we are all 4 years older...
Good luck to you....wishing you many years of dancing with NED. Karen
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Thank you for the welcomes.... Mother's Day for me is bittersweet as my Mom passed away in 2004 and we were very close. I have two sisters but am not close to either but luckily I have my wonderful kids even if they are hiding behind the teenage hormones.
It was my ex's weekend but I came and go the kids early to go to a kid's symphony performance. One of my sons has Down Syndrome and he adores Peter and the Wolf which is what they were doing but my other son, his twin - typical child, was horrified and embarassed to be there. So he made it know how miserable he was. Oh well, it got better once we got home and one he got fed. Teenagers certainly can eat a lot.... Still not used to that part. Seems like I'm barely finished with the dinner dishes and they are back asking what else there is to eat. So far my daughter's hormones are managable but I do know it is coming soon.
I'm sure a lot of you are probably careing for elderly parents and that is hard - I do remember that. I guess that is one thing to be grateful for I'm glad my parents missed my getting a divorce and getting BC as I can only imagine how worried and upset they would be. It was hard enough telling my children. Anyway, glad so many had a good Mother's Day.
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As the mom of three grown children that still live pretty close to home I made out like a bandit. Son gave me roses and helped pay for lunch, daughter gave me a gift card for a pedicure which I desperately need, and other daughter gave me a beautiful picture frame that is perfect to our upcoming beach trip. Hubby gave me a bird bath and flowers. At church I ate a chocolate donut!! A treat for myself. The service was all about how Mary and Joseph lost Jesus in Jerusalem. It was pretty funny actually.
Now we need to prepare for DaddyPallooza as his birthday and father's day are close together.
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It's no big deal, but I'm going for my 3-mo. interval to the Med-Onc today. They just take a little blood and I'm not a needle-phobe, so I'm not at all nervous about this. Not like mammo time.
I'm getting my Vit. D re-done. I had it done four months ago, but guess what? I noticed on the lab. report, right in a little info. box, that the test I had done (the 1, 25-D) was not the preferred initial Vit. D test! So, today, I'll get the other one (25-OH-D.) Don't ask me all the technical stuff, but basically the second test is a more accurate reflection of the body's stored Vit. D. Going in there the first time, I did not know there were two tests or which one to ask for BUT shouldn't my doctor know which one is preferred initially???? Grrr! Now, my first test really cannot be used as a baseline. I cannot compare to see what four months of supplementing has done for me.
P-Mom...DaddyPalooza...hahaha...good one!
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Elimar - my 3 month onc visit today too. I still have my port so poking is easy. I did not make out like Lisa for mothers day. My 2 boys also live close to home. I went out to breakfast with one and DH and the other was working so that was that! Oh well. My Mum did well - I sent flowers. A nice surprise in May as mothers day is in March in England when she gets to celebrate the first time with the rest of my siblings.
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How did it go, gilly?
I did have to see the doc this appointment, which meant I got to give him some crap about the Vit. D test. He deserved it. He was also probably thinking, "This is going to be a long five years with her!" Also, for the first time this Med-Onc gave me the clinical breast exam. That means I have four doctors, total, giving me the CBE grope PLUS the mammo. (I say grope because there is not a one that spends more than 20 seconds on each side.) Good thing I do self-exam.
When, I was done there, I went right downstairs to the Rad-Onc, who I was supposed to have a check up in a couple weeks, and cancelled that appt. Finito for him. The next one I think I will cut loose is the BS after I see him once in the Fall. I am trying to get it down to my Med-Onc. and my GYN doc, plus mammo screenings. That will be one doc exam every three mos. That's sensible, that's enough.
Now no doctor visits until mid-June. Happy dance.
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Hey Elimar - I also had a CBE with med -onc. Everything was fine for me. I had my port flushed and I am going to get de-ported. It is time - I'm 6 months PFC!!!!! My med-onc is the only doctor I see other than PCP who does the CBE and paps etc. I didn't even see the rad-onc once after completing radiation as my skin was so good he said it wasn't necessary. I am on 3 monthly visits with the med-onc. What about the rest of you ladies?
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I see my onc every six months, my PCP every 3 to six months, depending on what;s going on, and an annual at my Gyno.
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My PCP was out of the loop...not even on my B/C team. I still made sure he got all the reports. When we were talking, I found out his mom died from B/C. I know I like to gripe about my docs (because I expect excellence from them) but I do like each one of them so far. They are all pretty good communicators and never rush thru' the office visits. While they may be a little old school, they have never refused a request for any test that I have wanted.
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I am totally confused as to who I am suppose to see and when. But I always see someone at least every three months. I was told that between my surgeon, Onc. and Rads they would switch it up so I see one every 3 mos. I guess my onc. dropped out and that's fine with me. I saw rads a couple time since I finished in Dec. and see him again in July. It's my general pract. that seems to be my best helper. She always does a great exam and specializes in women's health. I don't see a gyn. I just see her. Go back on the 26th for my one year follow up and Mammo. on both sides.
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I see my med onc every three months, my pcp every three months (for asthma/lupus problems), my rad onc every 6 months, my gyn every year and dropped my breast surgeon cause she said I see enough docs! I won't even go into the cardiologist, rheumatologist and gastroenterologist appointments! Geez, I'm ready to be done with all these appointments. This is the first month in 15 months that I only have ONE dr. appt. YEAH!
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Wow, I feel kind of under-groped. I only have visits with the Med Onc, alternating with Miss Condescending, her PA, every 6 months, following a mammogram. They draw multiple vials of blood each time. So "just" twice a year I'm thoroughly searched to see if I'm harboring cancerous mayhem. I have an annual gynecological exam where I am felt up again and we check to see if my cervix is plotting evil. The BS has not seen me since handing me off to the Rad Onc after my follow-up exam about a month or so out from surgery in 8/08, and I haven't seen the Rad Onc since shortly after I finished radiation in 11/08. Was I supposed to see these people again? They're all in the same practice. Maybe they pass around my folder after I see the Med Onc or her minion.
On the other hand, I often feel as though every six months is too OFTEN for all of this, unless they're secretly suspecting that my body will whip up an aggressive, fast growing tumor at any time now. They SAY that they are not expecting this. The theory allegedly is that I'm likely to remain cancer-free, to the best of our knowledge, for several more years, with the odds of a return of some kind ramping up at about 10 - 15 years. The every-six-months visits make it SEEM like I'm under heavy surveillance, but whenever I ask questions or, say, call to find out the results of my blood tests, they treat me like it's not something I should be worried about...
I don't even HAVE a PCP, but I should probably find one, since if it isn't cancerous or accessible through my vagina, no one is interested. Tamoxification is accelerating the aging of many of my body systems, so probably I should make someone help me with that...
Coleen
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I guess I belong... I'm 58 now and two years past the diagnosis, surgery and radiation. I joined a clinical study a few months ago where the focus is on walking, and doing exercise to get in better shape for life as well as prevent a recurrence.
Our parents are deceased after many years of caretaking. My son turns 23 in July and has one more year left on his bachelor's degree program. My husband and I have multiple medical problems. I was notified that after 26 yrs of loyal, workaholic service to the university, next March 10, 2011 will be my last day. My contract is not being renewed for budgetary reasons. I have a number of feelings about that and have been trying to sort out the financial impact.
They told me two weeks after I returned from Mayo's for a breast check and diagnosis of a mass on my pancreas..Fortunately not cancer but if you have ever had the Cells Gone WILD experience - you worry.
I have done well with this news for the most part. Will have to retire to get the medical insurance at a reasonable rate. But deep down, there is a sorrow - a loss, some anger... not unlike the whole cancer deal. Comes out of nowhere and you are left wondering what you did wrong... I'm not doing well today...
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kleenex--the biggest reason for the folllow up appointments is not to look for new cancer but to monitor for adverse long term effects of the treatments (chemo and rads primarily). Oh, yeah, and maybe to manage long term hormonal therapy side effects. The "party line" is to say it's to monitor for recurrence. The appointment info and blood test results also provide info for research.
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Oh Middies.
Will you welcome the Prodigal Child back into the fold?
I have been here, there & everywhere, but just now realized how very much I've been missing this thread. I went back as far as everyone's Mother's Day "celebrations" (you know who you are) and even as far back as the Seven Dwarves. [How do you spell dwarf pluralized? Does spelling count?]
All things cheeto.
All things middie.
How about someone stop by this evening & keep me company on this foul, rainy evening? I have a box of wine and am feelin' the need for a heart-to-heart.
Glad to see the middie fires are still glowing.
xx00xx00xx00xx
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Hi middies. It's been a while since I've been here, too. Like Faith, I'm from the "Cheeto" days...maybe January??? I remember being at my son's in Oceanside and bouncing messages with Meece. Hi Meece!
I took some time off to get past my 3 and 2 year cancerversaries. I had a scare with a sore neck that lead to blood work and a bone scan in February. All is well and I am, once again, having sleeping issues. Sleeping pill number 2 is no longer working so my Oncologist has changed my prescription. Last night it plugged up my sinuses, which is a side effect...great. Now I can't breathe or sleep!
This was my first Mother's Day with NO kids at home. I started the day with tears and a pity party. My husband dragged me to a local nursery and we bought several kinds of veggies and flowers for our garden, then spent the day planting them. He bought me a new bird bath and Bar-B-Qued dinner.
Three of my four kids called me, one's in Europe, and one of my step-daughters.
I found out today I didn't get the job I applied for at our local cancer center. I'm pretty bummed, but hopefully I'll find something soon...
Linda
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Welcome Mahomet_mom! You bring up a middle-aged issue we haven't really discussed much here. While anyone can be a victim of downsizing and a crappy economy lay-offs nowadays, I think this age group (especially the 50-60's) tend to get the bum's rush into early retirement. When you join the B/C club and have to miss work for treatments or take some leave, it makes it all the easier for employers to move you to the head of the line when someone needs to get let go. (Not that it's PC to ever say that was the reason.) As the late, great Bob Marley said "When one door is closed, don't you know another is open?" I hope your situation turns into unexpected opportunity.
Kleenex, your hilarity is so uplifting. Seriously, at this age it is good to have a PCP. If you stay healthy, you can simply have all your reports sent there making the PCP do double-duty as your archivist.
NativeMainer, I'm down with that theory too.
Faithandfifty, you know it's like an open house around here. Wander in anytime, come as you are, pour your heart out, stay over in the virtual guest bedroom, steal a virtual terry-cloth robe. Same as always. Same goes for you, Smithlme.
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Smithlme, You've been missed! How is everything in the great wet North?
Faith, I'll stop by and share that box of wine, just give me directions. I think you just add an "s" to dwarf to pluralize it.
I guess I did get a nice Mother's Day gift from DS#3, he found an apartment and is moving out. I am ready for the nest to be empty. I know I will miss him, but i won't miss his messes! DS#1 called from Afghanistan last night with a belated M.D. Greeting. He is doing well and will leave to come home either May 31st or July 15th. I am ready to know he is safe at home.
Suz, I forgot about the Rhuematologist and Cardiologist. Isn't it funny how accustomed your can get to going to Drs, that you simply forget one or two? Sad actually.
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Hi all. Glad the mother's days were mostly pleasant!.
The food at the Real Housewives' Brownstone was pretty tasty.(I posted earlier I was going to a BC benefit there.)
Here is a blog post about it.
My arm and shoulder is somewhat better. I am even going to my friends wedding in Cali, this wekend, something I thought would not be possible even a few days ago. I now book the non- direct flights, I just feel like it's safer for the arm.
The bad news is that the OT said I may have these spasms for the REST OF MY LIFE!
More good news, my swelling has gone down a lot. I feel a lot more like myself. The OT said even my face looked less puffy.
So that's all she wrote for now. Peace.
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love the pic, elimar! I loved that movie, too!
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