what do I want to be now that I'm grown up?

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NatureGrrl
NatureGrrl Member Posts: 1,367
edited June 2014 in Life After Breast Cancer

I was going to title this, "What do I want to be when I grow up?" but for the first time in my 58 years, I feel like I am grown up.

Now all I have to do is decide what I want to do with my life Smile

Help!

I know my situation is fairly unique, but here it is:  I'm single, no children, as I said I'm 58... I've been in limbo the last few (4) years because I quit my job, got rid of most of my belongings, sold my house, and moved far away to be with a man who said he was going to marry me (we'd dated several years).  Long story short, it didn't work out.  I was trying to figure out what to do and where to land next when my mother's cancer returned and she asked me to move in with her to help her out, so I agreed.  A year into that, I found MY cancer.  One year later, I've had very successful treatment, my mother has died, and I'm slowly getting energy back and trying to figure out what to do with my life.

My background is so varied that it doesn't dictate a career path.  I have strong skills in many areas and talents in many areas. My education is in horticulture (botanical garden work) but I haven't worked in the field for 30 years (which doesn't mean I can't again, but I am out of touch with a lot of the newer stuff).   What I love to do most (design work -- layout for newsletters, annual reports, etc., etc, among other things -- and photography) are the things I have the least training/education in, although I've done some free lance work in those areas and also have done design work as part of other jobs.

To add to my confusion, I feel very strongly that I'd like to do something that heals:  therapy work?  physical rehab?  healthy eating?  But I have even less experience.

And I'm 58.  I mean, I really don't feel like starting college all over again!

Some days I think I'd be really happy to be back in the food arena, baking up loaves of hearty, healthy breads every day. When I worked in the food industry there was a sense of family with my felllow workers that I haven't had anywhere else, but that may have just been that group.  And to do what I want to do I'd have to start my own business, in a community large enough to support it, and the failure rate of those things is huge.

To add more:  I'm living in my old hometown, my parent's town, but I have almost no friends here.  It's a wonderful community in many, many ways and I appreciate it a lot... but... it's the midwest, and I love mountains and oceans.  Can you say Oregon?  Santa Fe?  Sedona?  Seattle?  In other words, I have no family ties here any more and could live anywhere....

I realize I have this incredible opportunity to do anything I want and go anywhere I want (within some limitations, of course!).... and I'm really floundering on what to do next.  And of course, having cancer has only made me want to focus on doing what I love instead of just getting by...

I have until next spring at the most  and then I'll have to be working full time somewhere to support myself and so I can move out of my mother's house when we sell it.

This is all very exciting... and all very confusing!

Does anyone have any brilliant advice on what I can do to help propel myself towards some decisions?

Sorry this is so long... there's just so much up in the air for me....

I'm excited but lost!

Thanks for any help...

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  • LindaUK
    LindaUK Member Posts: 67
    edited May 2010

    Wow what an interesting read naturegirl.....I must admit I agree with sunflowers....listen to your heart....you have so much to offer and so much to choose from.....It is exciting....

    I was diagnosed with cancer at the age of 54.....I knew in my heart what I had to do, it just took a couple years to actually do it.....Im now 60 and have divorced the husband, and totally changed my career path....and im the happiest I have ever been in my whole life.....change is difficult and quite frightening so sometimes we just have to jump in and swim (or sink)....I swam for my life and so glad I did.....So whatever you feel in your heart, just go for it.....I wish yyou the best of luck.....

    Linda x

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  • sweatyspice
    sweatyspice Member Posts: 922
    edited May 2010

    I'm somewhat in the same boat, but of course my boat is completely different.

    I can say this much - as far as the design/newsletter/photography thing goes - NO ONE CARES about your education or training.  You already do freelance work, you already know this, you just haven't accepted the truth of it yet.  People only care about your portfolio, they could give a crap where/if you went to school.  Promote your business and see where it takes you. 

    I'm not qualified to speak about the rest. 

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  • iodine
    iodine Member Posts: 4,289
    edited May 2010

    WOW! You are amazing and with such an interesting aray of talent.  My son, a graphic designer in DC is working design as a temp and free lance because few there are hiring full time.  And it's correct: no one has asked him for his college credits or GPA!  Just the portfolio.

    My daughter, the MA in art history (yup) who was actually a museum educator for many years and burned out, made a career change, too.  She is a caregiver but didn't want to go back to college for PT degree, or never even considered nursing.  She has her own business now: massage therapist.  Instant gratification and payment.  And the schooling was about 6 mos.  but I'm sure there are all kinds of courses.  That is a license you can take to any state, (I think) and people are finally beginning to understand the connection between body and health.

    So--that's my input and boy, I can agree the the suggestions above.  I just have  a hard time listening to MY heart, my head gets in my way.  (also my big mouth).    We will all be waiting to hear what direction you take.

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  • NatureGrrl
    NatureGrrl Member Posts: 1,367
    edited May 2010

    Wow, thank you, everyone, for all the replies!! And a huge thank you for the support, encouragement, and kind words. I appreciate it all so much. 

    Sunflowers, you hit the nail on the head... in fact, today this quote was on my calendar:

    Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart... Who looks outside, dreams.  Who looks inside, awakens.  Carl Jung

    So I know I need to spend more quiet time listening.... and actually, when I was younger, I planned to relocate to the NE as well but never got any further east than Mansfield, OH.  I guess I need to add more locations to my list :)  including visiting Amhurst! 

    Linda, I went through a divorce several years ago that reminds me of what you describe -- terrifying change, and a dramatic change in career.  I've been through so much in the last 20 years that change no longer frightens me (much)... it's more a question of figuring out what that change will be! Thank you for your support.

    And sweaty, thank you for your support, too!  You're right, I do have a portfolio... and I love the design work... I guess I need to stop focusing on what I lack and focus on what I have!

    iodine, I loved hearing about your children and what they're doing, it makes me feel so not-alone in wanting to make dramatic changes and in having courage to go for it.  Whatever "it" is!

    Thanks, everyone, really.  I didn't expect so much support.  Y'all are the best, as always! 

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  • NatsFan
    NatsFan Member Posts: 3,745
    edited May 2010

    Nature - I have a friend who went to college at University of Vermont.  She came to DC, went to law school, and became a DC lawyer with a corner K Street office - the very definition of success. She'd always said that one day she'd move back to Vermont.  About 15 years ago, she suddenly decided, what "someday" am I waiting for?  So she quit her lawyer job and moved to Vermont - cold.  Didn't know a soul and didn't have a job.  And was happy for the first time in years.  She worked for Ben and Jerry's for a while (they give free pints of ice cream daily to employees - her freezer was a thing of beauty!).  But after a fwe years, she realized that even that was too corporate for her soul, and she took training to become a life counselor.  She now has a thriving practice and is loving life.  About 5 years ago she met her husband and now they're a happy couple.  All because she had the courage to make a change and follow her heart.  I always think of her when I need to make a courageous change in life.

    Beautiful nature-y places I'd personally look at if I were moving from the DC area (but as a political junkie I'm not moving!) - Vermont, Denver, Portland OR, and SF area.  I also loved one vacation I took around Palm Springs one May - I got a back country permit and hiked San Jacinto in the snow one day, then the two days later I hiked in the blazing hot desert at Joshua Tree - I even saw a rattlesnake! Just some beautiful places I've come across in my life.

    As everyone says, follow your heart and YOU GO GIRL!!!

    Mary

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  • iodine
    iodine Member Posts: 4,289
    edited May 2010

    Ok, I'll throw in Tennessee for FOUR seasons (except Memphis--whew!)  10 hours from the ocean you are in the mountains if you come to the eastern side.  We've been known in the past as the "3 states of Tn" because with such a long state, we have 2 time zones.  And, seemingly climates.

    You are likely to find cities that are growing faster, I'm thinking of Charlotte, NC, but Nashville is amazing and so is Knoxville. 

    But the thing I enjoy most here in my small rural town is 4 seasons and winter and summer are not too severe.  As a Southern gal, I have no joy for snow all winter or sweating (glow?) all summer.  LOL

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  • NatureGrrl
    NatureGrrl Member Posts: 1,367
    edited May 2010

    Mary, thanks for the story and ideas... I love hearing about people who follow their hearts!  It isn't always easy but it can be done...

    I love, love, love Portland -- I lived there for 2 years and loved it -- but my ex is there, so are many memories, and right now I think I'd rather be somewhere he's not.  But the NW has plenty of other places that would work! :)  Denver, yeah, I'd forgotten about Denver... and SF... love your hiking story, too, I can't wait to have the strength and enegy to do a real mountain hike again!!

    iodine, TN -- funny -- a friend in Houston and I were just talking last week and decided we needed to find a place halfway between Houston and IN to live -- and we picked TN!  I used to go through eastern TN every spring on my way to mom's home in SC and love the mountains there.  I hate sweating all summer, too -- never thought of TN as being more comfortable than IN in that regard -- it's so humid here... I think I need to check out TN carefully!

    I think I need to take a day and go on a retreat and see if I can't hear my heart better; picking a location will be fun, but figuring out what I really want to do just isn't very clear to me right now!

    Thanks for the replies and ideas!

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  • iodine
    iodine Member Posts: 4,289
    edited May 2010

    PM me and I'll have the Chamber of Commerce send you WAAAAY more info than you ever wanted to know about the Volunteer State.  LOL

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  • cathmg
    cathmg Member Posts: 278
    edited July 2011

    Thanks Naturegrrl, for putting your search out there. Good to know I'm not the only one looking for a job/career path at this time (I'm 46). My teens are now very independent and the question is, what do I want to do? 

    I say try to go with the activity that make you feel most alive and inspired.

    CAt 

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  • Kay_G
    Kay_G Member Posts: 3,345
    edited July 2011

    Love this thread!  I feel the same.  I'm a CPA, work as a controller.  I just don't really want to do that any more.  I would really like to do something that helps people, but at 48, don't want to go back to college.  And am not in a financial position to either.  Nature Girl, please keep us informed of your decisions.  I am so excited for you!

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