PTSD

MaryEllen:  Wow, you've been through so much and have a young child too.  I'm so sorry you are having to go through all of this.  I was diagnosed in August.  Had a lump in Sept and re-excission in Nov and then had to do a mx (left side) in January.  No chemo, no rads, so I'm fortunate that way.  I have TE in place now and will have exchange the 11th of June.

I know everything I've been told by my docs is that getting depressed after surgery is a natural feeling.  You aren't strange and it doesn't mean anything is wrong with you.  It is just your body has been through so much and it is so overwhelming. 

Plus, since you have a young child, you are probably spending a lot of energy being a mom to her.  Mine are grown (I'm 49 but had kids very early).  I can't imagine the energy I would have had to expend with a 2 year old!  I don't how you've gotten through this far!  I'm personally amazed!

I put on the "brave face" with my kids, with my mom, at work, but cried in private, in the car, reading boards.  It is a big relief to be able to "let it out" sometimes.

If you need to rant, vent, cry, you are in the right place.  You can PM me or anyone you want and they will get back to you.  Someone here will have your exact diagnosis and shared your exact experience.

And I can tell you from reading the Exchange City board, the anxiety for most of us before exchange is definitely natural!  We are all so anxious to look "normal" or what will be the "new normal" and start to get on with our lives again....and worried it won't be right.

I know you probably don't want to hear "relax" but please try to have a wonderful day with your daughter tomorrow.

You've gotten lots of good advice, I don't have much to add but want to reinforce:  talk with your doctors.  Get a therapist that's appropriate for you (I was actually seeing two after my dx; an outside therapist and the staff therapist in my oncologist's office.  Like Still, I've had PTSD most of my life but didn't know it until I was dx in my 40's by a therapist; it's usually under control but there's nothing like cancer to bring out the beasties!).  I went back on meds after my cancer dx -- not to "fix" anything, but the meds help me "even out" so I'm better able to cope with everything.  Talking to a therapist has been essential for me as well.

I was caregiving/living with my mother with dementia when I was dx with cancer and I know how really hard that is.... also was/am working but for pititful wages, also had no health insurance... in short, I know stress, anxiety, and freaking out.  It's hard. 

How do you get through it?  One day -- one hour -- sometimes just one minute at a time.  It's hard to give your own needs priority when you have a parent/child/others who need you, too, but it's really critical that you give yourself some care.  Still had a lot of good suggestions:  meditation, exercise, walking, seeing a dr/therapist, talk with friends, go to a movie, read a book, take a bubble bath, eat as healthy as you can (for me taste and nausea had a big impact so I just ate what I could and am being healthier now that I'm through the worst), get rest. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Take a nap.  Give yourself time for you.    I know it's hard but it really is important.

You can do this even though you feel like you can't.  Warm hug....

I think from the second you get your diagnosis you are kept busy with doctor appointments with surgeons and plastic surgeons and oncologists, etc.  Then there's always more tests to be ordered and completed.  If you're like me you spend hours doing every kind of research on your type of cancer, treatment plans, where to go and what to do.  You're busy rearranging your life to fit all this in, scheduling surgeries and treatments, completing surgeries and treatments.   And then, finally, when you can take a little break and process it all-

it hits you like a ton of bricks!!!  I have heard so many people say they were fine until after everything was done and then they got depressed.  It's like you're too focused on getting cured beforehand to allow yourself to feel all the emotions that come with BC.  It is all very normal and almost everyone goes through it.

And I agree with bcincolorado, there is a lot of anxiety in that last surgery.  This is the one that's supposed to make it all better and we're supposed to feel so much more normal afterwards.  There is a lot riding on that last surgery.  And you have all those added stresses like single mom, money worries, sick parent, etc.  Anyone would be freaking out right now.  I would suggest counseling if you can fit it in your crazy schedule.  If you can't afford it go on to the American Cancer Society site.  They have a program called Reach for Recovery, I think, where they will connect you with a volunteer in your area that has had the same type of cancer you have.  Your volunteer will call or visit you and help you through all this.  Good luck!