Exchange City

Koryn I definitely relate to your frustration at the numbness and loss of sensation.  I did a uni-mx, and even with "just" half gone I truly feel a loss.  While I was warned, I don't think there was anyway to truly understand beforehand what it meant that I'd have a swath across my chest that doesn't feel my own touch, much less anyone or anything else. 

On a brighter note, I hope it's sunny where you all are and that that lifts everyone's spirits.  Its a beautiful day here and it just helps me smile.  Have a good weekend everyone!

CS

GOOD NEWS TODAY!!!!!   CLEAR MARGINS AND CLEAR NODES!!!!!! 

I went to see my onco today (who I have faith in now).  He hadn't received my path report from the hospital yet.  So, he called the pathologist, while he was with me.  They didn't have it completed yet.  They called him back within 20 minutes.  In the meantime, my onco told me I had triple negative bc, which is very common for BRCA1.  It also responds well to chemo and radiation.  Then, he got the call.  I saw him write "0's" on my paperwork and he hung up and told me everything came back negative!  Thank GOD!!!  I asked him about seeing a specialist at a univeristy hospital or top cancer center.  He started rattling off names of people in California and NY.  He studied in NY and my sister is there.  He suggested someone at Sloan Kettering and is going to call the dr himself.  He also gave me a suggestion of an onco in town that deals with breast onco (who my PCP referred me to yesterday). 

It's like all the stars came back into alignment starting with my positive day yesterday and now today.  My hysterectomy/ooph is on hold right now.  My onco wants me to heal and he wants a petscan in a couple weeks.  He said we'll probably start treatments in a few weeks, but wants an opinion and for me to possibly see these other specialists first!  He thinks I'll go on Taxotere/Cyto...  (can't remember name exactly - will have to look it up). I'll probably get radiation, too (but that would be after chemo).

I told him I wanted to jump off the table and give him a big hug.  My mom started crying!  We went to lunch to celebrate!!!  Last year if I was told I needed chemo I would have been devastated.  Now I just want this darn cancer to GO AWAY FOR GOOD!!!! 

 Kitty I am so Happy for you. I hope you enjoy your weekend.

You deserve it.

Big Hugs,

Rebecca

Thanks Judy, Rebecca and Lilah!!!!  If I wasn't on a Z-Pack (I had a bronchial something or other, probably from the tubes for surgery) - I would be having a tall glass of wine!!!!  Instead, I am just grateful and thanking my lucky stars!!! 

good news Kittycat!

very happy for you!

Tears of joy for Kitty!!  I will have your glass of wine in about 45 minutes!!!

Colleen

KItty, I am so happy and relieved for you.  I actually feel some weight lifted from my shoulders. Gotta love those zeros!!  Cytoxin is what the other chemo is.  See your specialists, get your plan in place and march forward.  Hugs and happy dancing!!!

Texas, sorry to hear about your friends and dog.  It is just so crappy.  I have a friend that I work with who is having BMX on the 28th this month. I'll be there with her the whole day. I'm making some heart pillows for her for after the surgery.  I would have been lost without mine! 

Kitty,

Have been praying and now am crying happy tears for you.....will plant another pink plant just for you!.

Marianne

Yay Kitty!!!!  Thank goodness for clear nodes and clean margins.  Woohoo!!!!!  Now you can have a relaxing weekend.  Best wishes to you in figuring out the best treatments.  CS

Kittycat:  I am overjoyed for you!

Kitty/Hea......

OMGOSH am I THANKING GOD so so so much... it is not in your nodes!

When I was DX... my hubby was praying soooooooooooo hard I did not need chemo.... this was HIS nightmare. Well... I had it in my nodes from day one... Chemo for me. I knew this... but I just wanted TO LIVE... so chemo... was a stepping stone to life for me.

Hair... is an.... accessory... just like make-up and good shoes.

Sweetheart... you are gonna rid this cancer... FINALLY!

Get a great wig... have some fun with it.... ~wink~ and give this cancer the big middle finger!

WAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Kitty:  Fantastic news! Path reports speak for themselves!! I see that you are sick too...please take good care of yourself now.  Your immune system is toast .

My cousin has been going to SLoan for cancer and it is THEE place to go for cancer from what I hear.  He is treated so compassionately there!!

Congrats

Kristen

Kittycat!  So good to hear!  And your onc is great for contacting these other specialists!  They can recommend the protocol they are using and your onc can follow it back home.  You will beat this!!

 Kristinka, I'm out 3 months and am sooorrrre today.  Any time I do too much, which sure isn't too much for the old me, I have soreness along side of breast.  Today from gardening yesterday I am sore and swollen under armpit and side of breast, iced it and took some advil.  When I told BS how tired I was getting after workouts, he said I was working out too hard!  LOL.  I'm sure not back to the speed I was last summer, but I'll get there. It's the new mastectomy side that gets sore, and he said that's to be expected.  When you think about how much tissue was removed and i know my nodes were in some weird places, it makes sense.  My old mx side that had so much scar removal, te and new implant feels fine!  (which basically means feels nothing!)

Koryn, you captured some of my feelings so well. It's gotten easier for me with time, but it's not a linear process. Definitely a push/pull depending on my fatigue, stress, etc. I'm shocked at how often I hit my breasts. Each time I use a public bathroom, the door always seems to hit me on the way out. I'm all, "They're not that big!" And it freaks me out a little that it doesn't really hurt. Mornings are still my best time of day; nights are still the worst. Hang in there. The good days will start to outnumber the bad. Journaling has helped me to see the incremental progress. Counseling with a cancer counselor has helped me so much; the spinning in my head slows when I get to say my thoughts aloud to her. As much as my husband, mom and friends love me, there's a limit to how much they can understand and I think my anger/worries freak them out. As many of us have written, non BC people think these feelings ease faster than they do.

Kristen, I still have some soreness, too. You're not a wuss! If you are, then I'm your wuss sister. The pain comes and goes, especially with my exertion level. Right now the muscles below my bra line (in my ribs) feel super tight. The pillows are back in my bed cushioning me. I look like I'm in a space capsule, but they help protect the sore spots.

Kitty, what great news! Thanks for sharing it! Lilah and everyone having surgery this week, I'm sending you sunny thoughts from the NW. It's the first time it's been sunny in 8 kazillion years and it's headed your way.

Maggie

Happy dance for you Kittycat ^. .^  wonderful wonderful news! You must be walking on clouds!  

Enjoy your weekend!

Maggie I was interested in what you said about the muscles below your bra line feeling super tight.  I find that my muscles in that same place feel tight...almost like a bra strap, mine tend to be tight to the sides of my breasts under my arms...I guess these muscles will relax over time. Katey I find when I overdo it I get especially sore where my lymph node was removed.....if I message it gently it seems to improve.  This is all pretty new to the body...so I guess it takes time for the muscles to adjust to the new way they are being pushed and pulled. 

Congratulations on your exchange date Waldo!

Hope your feeling a better Rebecca..... 

Wishing a Happy Mothers's Day to all

Laura2