Starting Chemo April 2009

Hi Judy,

Thanks for being concerned when things are this quiet - hopefully that is a good sign for all of us.  You have a good weekend too

Geri

It has not been quiet at my house..we were ROBBED on Tuesday afternoon...took my laptop, jewelery box and cash.....We live 5 miles from a town of about 25,000. nice rural area...this has been very stressful......things are better now (as far as sleeping)....but it is very unnerving to have had freaks in my home...we are not wealthy people...I don't understand why at all.. The police say that it is the times...with the economy, They are questioning a couple of men tomorrow but I'm not getting my hopes up.....If they did do it I think they should have to have their breasts cut off, then a few rounds of ac and then have a few rad zaps......



Besides THAT...everything is fine here and hopefully fine for everyone else.



To tell you the truth..I am more pissed than sad....Having cancer is worse than this....but that doesn't mean I an going to let things go and just say oh well! I will keep on the local police as much as I can...you just don't mess with a bc patient.survivor...whatever we call ourselves now.

Hey Titan, so sorry to hear about the robbery. I don't understand why people do such terrible things. I do hope that your sense of security does come back soon and that the police find the jerks and return your belongings. Tomorrow my sister is hosting a bridal tea for my future DIL. Wedding is end of June.

Helen...what a fun time for you! It sounds like you like your new to be daughter in law.....My son in law to be is a good person...he seems to love my daughter very much despite the fact that she is slightly strong willed...(not sure where she gets that from..hee hee)...anyway....I just hope I feel the same way about any girl my son may bring around...she better be pretty special or I may just be the mother in law from hell!

Hi all,

Just checking in...did I miss the martini night? Dang!

I've been doing much better since I started PT. The redness has improved, it's almost completely gone, mobility has increased and the soreness is improving. So I'm a happy camper, I will just keep my fingers crossed that the improvement continues.

Titan sorry to hear about your robbery. Just after I got married, my dh went out to get into his car in my driveway...and low and behold his new car was jacked up on blocks with all four of his wheels stolen. His comment..."man it use to be when you moved into a neighborhood they'd welcome you with cookies...I guess times have changed!"

Hi Judy..how are YOU doing? Things going ok? my DH and I worked at our high school track meet yesterday...it has been a year since I have seen some of these people.. One lady asked me the "HOW ARE YOU DOING" thing..for a minute I wasn't sure what she was talking about...I'm like..oh yeah..I'm fine..sometimes I just forget and then someone brings "it" up and I have to remember....Does anyone else have this happen???



Helen..how was your bridal tea? Tell me about it because I need ideas for my Aimee's teas/shower....I'm so excited to start planning all this...I just hope we get it right....We do have a date..I think..August 6, 2011..which may be a long time away but it is time to start thinking about things now! What does your mom's dress look like? Is it sexy? I hope so.....You know what they say, today's 50 is now 30!!!

Helen, the tea sounds wonderful. I came over all emotional reading about it. I am so sorry that you don't feel good about yourself, I know how that feels. Sometimes, it is so hard to get myself dressed to go anywhere. On the outside I look pretty normal, but it is what is under my shirt that bothers me. I hope that you do start to feel better and are able to enjoy the wedding!

Titan - I am doing ok thanks, although very tired. I have been working for the past 2 weeks and find myself much more tired than I was before. Thanks for asking after me.

Sending everyone hugs and hope everyone is having a good day!

Judy x

Hey all - got my port out today. Was a little anxious the night before, but it went smoothly and quickly - no pain, just the little novocaine shot, and then she snipped me open and 'pop' - it was out! It is a bit sore now and I'm probably doing more than I should be in terms of moving and lifting stuff. I am just SO happy to have it done. It has been in me for 13 months! I am just so happy.

Maybe now this whole year will start to slip into memory and I can start to really move forward!

PS. I was TERRIFIED of my elementary school principal. And the jr high one too. I don't remember the high school one- actually I don't remember much about high school. The 70s were sort of a blur.

Amy, congtrats on being de-ported. I do recall that feeling. What a relief

Judy, it takes time to get used to being back at work. Don't overdo.

Betsy, I'm also having weight problems. I'm on Arimidex. I can't blame it totally but I think it is a problem

Titan, sorry that you are having so much trouble following the robbery.

I used to be a high school vice-principal and then a principal. Now I'm a Superintendent (equivalent to an Assistant Superintendent in the US) so I supervise 8 high schools. It is a fun job although I had much more interaction with kids as a principal. None of that stern stuff anymore. We get along with kids. Matthew and Sara make a great couple. It was love at first sight. They are both so happy.

Titan - thanks for your kind words. I am doing ok, although I think I may have the flu this week! Never mind, it pales in comparison to this time last year! I have 3 monthly checks at the Onc, but not mamograms as I had a bilat mastectomy, so she just examines me as I am. My next appt is on 12 May and I am a little nervous about it. I hope you start sleeping better soon - try the Melatonin, 10mg, I really think it has been helping me.

Amy - YAY! for you! The port is out and now you can really look forwards. I am so happy for you! I think mine was a little sore for a few days afterwards, but was very manageable.

Betsy - Every little bit of weight that I gain, I cannot lose. I am trying very hard to be careful, but it just does not shift. Then I get upset and eat chocolate to pacify myself... It seems to be sitting on my hips and just not moving. Glad that your PT is going well.

Helen - I know that you are a beautiful person. Keep on enjoying the joy your family is bringing to you!

Geri - how are you doing?

Hugs to you all for a good day, Judy x

Oh..and tomorrow..when I go for my two mile "walk"..well I plan on running the whole thing..I can do it..I know it! I think I just may scream when I'm done....



Lena..where the heck are you..we need a story!

Judy and all - the smallest things can trigger us. It is not unusual at all that feeling sick or being in bed could bring you right back to a year ago and all that awful stuff.

When I was getting my port out on Monday (did I tell you all that I got my port out?) - anyway, I mentioned to the surgeon that I had a peer/mentor from the Delaware Breast Cancer Coalition and how incredibly helpful she was in the beginning.  So it turns out that the surgeon is the chair of the fundraiser ball for the Coalition and she asked me to email her a few sentences about how the program had benefited me and she would read them as a motivator during the auction that they have. No problem, right?
So I sat at the computer and thought back to those early days and how shaken up/terrified I was and how much my peer/mentor was a lifeline to me. And I wrote a few sentences and then I just put my head down and sobbed.  Thinking it through like that just brought it all back.

Even though it was a year ago, it is STILL RECENT and we are STILL HEALING.  My hope for all of us is that we are as kind and gentle and patient with ourselves as we would be with others.   I know for myself, I can be so supportive of others but I don't give myself a lot of slack.  But I did just sit and cry until I was done, and then it passed and I felt better.

Judy - please rest up and get better soon. And Titan - report back after the run. I do about 40 min on the treadmill but I walk a min/run a min alternatingly. Sometimes 2 minutes each. But I can't do it steadily (yet).  And NO walking or running now - it is SORE where they took the port out and it hurts more when I move around.

Amy...I feel like I need to have one of those break down, sobbing moments..but I just haven't had time...I planned to have one tonight after my run but I got busy then my SIL came over for a minute (and a glass of wine), then my DH came home from golfing..plus my two cats are just wild ass tonight..I don't know why...so I guess my break down will have to come later when I have the time to have one!   Man it sucks when you can't even find time to have a knock down, break down minute!!!  

I ran one mile tonight and walked briskly the other mile..no shortness of breath..I feel like that guy ..Bolt...!  a 50 year old Bolt anyway..!

Judy..hope those antibiotics are kicking in for you...that just stinks....but I guess it is better to have a "normal" illness than what we had....and strep is normal...don't knock yourself too much about it..I sneeze alot...I haven't had a cold for probably 5 years...I keep thinking..why can't I just get a "normal" cold...no..I just get breast cancer...go figure....

Amy..I'm sure that your port area will heal quickly and you will be able to exercise....it's amazing..once you start exercising it becomes addictive...walking/running is something I need to do...breathing in the air...feeling good about myself...testing my body to see if anything hurts abnormally and when it doesn't..feeling dang good about it.

Lena...we really need that story...plus a fill in on how you are doing...we are waiting!

And one more thing....

I love that I can come here, write whatever I feel and always be me! That is priceless...

Thank you all x

Judy..glad those meds are kicking in....and you will be back to normal soon...when you have the kids at home..well...mom's really don't have time to be sick do they??? It's like..oh mom..you had your breast removed today..sorry to hear that..what's for dinner?? kinda of thing.

And like you said..we wouldn't have it any other way! I guess that just "normal" life makes us be normal..does that make sense???? Even during chemo I never was really allowed to just lay around..there was just too much other stuff going on....track, grad partys, ect....looking back now I think it was probably a good thing.....I just had to put it at the back of my mind and persevere.....



Oh and I slept straight through the night last night...I didn't wake up screaming, no hot flashes (which are few and far between now anyway)..but that certainly felt good!



Wishing good nights of sleep to all of you...it really seems to make a difference....sleeping well, eating well, taking the vitamins....exercising....I think I wear myself out!



Oh..and on the news at 6 tonight...they said something about a cure for cancer..going on in Cleveland! Wouldn't that be something....however, my bed time is 10 so I guess I will hear about it tomorrow! But you heard it from me first...hee hee!