November 2009-Starting Chemo

Melinda:  or should I call you rodent mom I got no premeds with the herceptin. I drove myself - the only annoyance was the seat belt over my port even though I have lambswool seat belt covers. It doesn't like it just after it's been accessed. It's not nice seeing what chemo can do to some people. I remember visiting the pharmacy in an oncology ward for my work (software engineer) and saw a girl who was little more than a skeleton and they were treating her. It made me so sad. I think we are lucky that we have come through all this relatively well. Life isn't fair.

 Good news, the tech seemed pleased with my echo today. Apparently my first one was normal - no one told me (that prick of a bs - I never want to see him again!!!). They were running late and I waited over an hour but it's done now, hopefully I won't need one for a while.

Sue

Melinda: I have (as I said) seat belt things made out of lambswool - got them on advice from another bc friend. Check out your local car accessory store, you might have them over there. I don't have to drive far so it's tolerable coming home from the treatment. My hair is looking reasonable - not good enough to go topless yet but it's certainly getting thicker. I started using Nioxin last week - might as well give it the best environment to grow in. I'm now 5 weeks PFC. Maybe by the time rads are finished I'll be able to lose the head coverings.

Sue

Well, you, guys, have had me dizzy with the talk of DIEP's and...oh, I'd have to go back and see what the other acronyms are and if I did that, I'd lose my posting.  I have looked up these procedures in the past, but have forgotten what they are, but I'll check them out again so I can keep up.  (I have only a lumpectomy, and am very fortunate that the surgeon had to take only the bottom 1/3 of my boob, so I can wear a bra with a separate insert that takes up the space that's missing.)  The fact that your body still sees the abdomen fat as just that even when it has been used for the reconstruction is weird, but I guess it makes sense.  How would it know otherwise?

I have only 2 rads left. (woo hoo) Redness isn't too bad, though the area is occasinally itchy.  I have been doing the "boost" (the smaller focused area) this week, so the redness from the large area radiation should start going away now.  I never did get use to going to the rad sessions:  I was anxious for every one of them, though I only took Ativan on Tuesdays when I met with the dr.

Melinda41:  that poor man you saw in chemo.  That would have broken my heart, too. 

Re: hair growth...Everyone who sees me without my wig says that I have enough hair to go without the wig...that I have as much hair as Jamie Leigh Curtis, but I beg to differ, so I'll wait a while.  Plus, I have to wait long enough for my hair length to cover a birthmark I have on the back of my head that is the size of a quarter and has only a couple of hair follicles.  I knew it was there prior to buzzing off my hair, but I'd never seen it.  Was extremely obvious when I had no hair!

 All of you Warriors still getting chemo, or Herceptin:  hang in there!  For those of you looking at surgery now or in the future, I wish for you only the best outcome...and symmetry!

Melinda:  Yep, as of Friday, I'm donedone.  BrendaShar should be done that day, too.  Not sure what I'll do with all my free time after I'm done.  I did tell the secretary at school that I would be ready to return to subbing after Friday, though I plan to only do half days for a while.  I've been extremely blessed not to have to work during the last months of hell.  I don't know how others have done it, but I guess you do what you have to do. I know they get a lot of respect from me.

It still amazes me when people tell me how brave I am to make through everything and I figure, the only other alternative would have been to crawl into a hole somewhere.  Not much of a life that way, though there were plenty of days that that would have been easier.

Everyone have a good evening. 

BrendaSharon: Congrats on getting done, I hope you have a great weekend!!

My hair looks darker than the first fuzz. When I look straight on, it is like dark with white tips. Very weird, I am tempted to shave it and start over, but I figure I will wait until chemo is done and then see.

Speaking of chemo, I am so sick of bloody booger stew in my nose. The weirdest stuff comes out of my nose, at then it wants to bleed for awhile and it always feels dry or chunky or drippy. I want my old nose back.

But I guess I should be grateful my pubes are growing back, at least I can pee straight now. I would hate having weirdness at both ends.

Melinda,

My pubes don't seem to be coming back at all. My leg hair is just a faint prickle from last time I shaved them. At least the head hair is doing something.

8 rads down heaps more to go.

Sue

I have hair down there, but it is not pubic hair. It is like the hair on my head. Started out clear and is gradually darkening. But it in no way looks like pubic hair. It is like I am going through puberty again. Trying to grow new boobs, getting hairy...

Brenda, you make this sound so final.....I think we warriors should still check in on a daily bases.

Brenda ~ CONGRATULATIONS for finishing RADS ~ woo HOO.

Please Sisters...DON'T LEAVE ME YET! I have just had surgery and am headed for rads. I still need you. My journey is almost over, but I still have a little bit to go. 6 1/2 wks of rads and a liver ablation. I can't go to the Stage IV forum...too depressing. I don't fit there. I can't deal with the sadness there...it gets me down.  Even being stage IV, there are a lot worse sisters than me...I have one stupid spot on my liver that is the size of a pea...

I know I'm rambling, but if the chemo did so good on my chest and lymph nodes, I can't wait to see what my liver did. I plan on living a long, happy life with my family, grandchildren, and friends.

Hi Warriors,

I am so happy for all of you that have recently finished your tx's.  I have been away for a while due to an unexpected turn of events in my journey.  I have been staying busy with work and school and my hair is coming in really well.  Basically, I feel fine just different.  New back pain prompted me to see my PCP a couple of weeks ago and x-rays revealed two lesions on my back.  Had a MRI yesterday and I hope to have the results today.  Found out from blood results that I am still pre-menopausal so it will be Tamoxifen for me even though I haven't started it yet.  It sounds like all of you are doing well and I'm so very happy for each and every one of you.  You all have truly been such a blessing in my life and you will always be my "sisters" in my heart.  I am participating in the Relay for Life tonight and I'm walking the survivor lap in honor of all the November Warriors!

HUGS ~ Toyah

Toyah: I hope you get your MRI results soon and it is all clear so you can have a great weekend. Please let us know what they say.

Alicia: your hair in coming in nicely, good coverage!

Hey hey, All you warriors!!   I had my last rad session today!!!  woo hoo!!   The radiation techs call your last day of radiation your "Graduation Day."  When I was there yesterday, one tech jokingly said, "Don't forget your cap and gown tomorrow."  Well, that got me to thinking...    I found my daughter's graduation robe, my old high school graduation cap, and my son and I figured out a way to make a pink tassel.  So today at rad, after I was called back for my final session, I put the robe over my hospital gown, put on the cap, and waited in the holding area.  The doctor's assistant walked by the room and saw me waiting, laughed, and ran and got a camera and said, "This is going in your chart, my dear." A few minutes later, when Candy, one of the techs, came to get me from the holding area, she went nuts when she saw me...laughing and saying oh my gosh!! The 4 other techs went nuts when I walked into the treatment room, too. They said no one had ever done that before   The head tech took my picture, then the 3 techs that have actually been doing the treatments got my son to come in and take my picture with them while I had the robe and cap on.  I'm really glad I did it.  Was lots of fun.   During the session, they played the grad. song, "Pomp and Circumstance."  Afterwards, they gave me a "diploma," a picture of me taken the first day I started rad with a grad. hat superimposed on the pic, and the pic the head tech took today, with a note card signed by all of them congratulating me and wishing me luck.  (I hope to get a copy of the pic of me with all the techs when I go back for my follow-up in May.)   I actually did the cap and gown thing to lighten up a very emotional time that otherwise, I would have reacted with lots of tears:  of happiness, but still tears.  Instead, we laughed a lot.

My DH took me to the session  today and I let my son stay home to go with us.  Afterwards, DH brought us home and he went on in to work.  My son and I went to the Cheesecake Factory for lunch.  During lunch, I received 9 text messages responding to a text I sent out saying, "I'M DONE! I'M DONE! I'M DONE!  WOO HOO!!"  He and I were laughing every time my phone buzzed with a new text!   After lunch, we walked around the mall and he surprised me by buying me a very pretty ring with some sapphire-colored stones as a congrats gift.  I also had enough car wash punches on my card to get a free car wash while we were out.  Came home and I got a call from the school to sub a half day the week after next.  Whoa, what a great day.

So, I'm relieved it's all over.  I'll miss the fantastic staffers I've met along the way, as they have all been compassionate, kind, and caring, but I'll see them at times during follow-ups with the various specialists over the next several years. 

Thank you for letting me share this epic day with you, my Cyber Friends, my Rocks, my Encouragers.  And I'm not going anywhere either. 

Cheers (with sparkling grape juice) Annette

I'm not going anywhere either. I can't imagine how I would have coped without all of you. You all have been my rock.

Nette, congratulations on being done with rads, I still have 22 to go - eeek!!! What a great way to graduate.

Toyah - fingers crossed for you - (((HUGS)))

Alicia, wow you have hair!! Mine is so pale you can hardly see it.

Linda J - good luck with  the liver ablation - we won't desert you don't worry.

Sue