March 2010 Chemo Start

hi Dublin

i am so feeling the same thoughts  as you are so don't feel your alone with them

what if's and buts

i just have to keep kicking them back and trying to move on

hope your feeling better today

good morning all, it's funny writing here sometimes knowing most of you are still asleep while I'm just having my breakfast .

My number 3 hairclipping has worn down at the sides and back, so I'm looking a bit like a moth eaten Mr T.  I'm just lurking around home until I have the need to get out for a walk, was a bit quiet yesterday. I too had spoken to my onc and have been able to cut my dexamethasone in half - for the FEC it's just for nausea, and the other meds have been good enough. I believe though that for the taxotere, it's a bit more about decreasing allergic reaction, so it'll have to be bymped back up.   I'm definately feeling less jumpy and weird this time, and I think less fluid retention  (last time I became a bit short of breath on about day 4).

They struggled with my veins this treatment too, so I'm thinking of getting a port.

I hope everyone is finding ways to get through the physical and emotional side effects of all this. This forum helps me so much, thanks for being here.

lisa

hereandnow I had my port place and I love it!! I am so happy I got it, I listened to the nurse in the bay next to me struggle to get a good vein on the patient.  I would highly suggest it, mine has never given me any discomfort other than the healing process.  Good luck! 

LillyC I had the big ole C with my last treatment and I will be taking senokot this time BEFORE #2 this time! 

xoxo Angi

Good Morning Marchers,

Kayne: I ordered my bandannas from Headcovers.com, they are 36" and cover my whole head.  I looked on Utube to learn how to tie them.  I did not get a wig, just didn't seem to be me, I'm a country girl that lives in the Adirondacks so bandaana's and "do" rags are for me.

JLLG : Your posts are so uplifting and put a smile on my face every time I read them - THANK YOU !.

ELH - Thinking of you, #3 tomorrow, then only 1 more to go. 

Riding season is just around the corner, can't wait to get out there and ride. 

Best to all Hugs and prayers to all my Sisters. - Stacey

LillyC;

Miralax, miralax, miralax...need I say more.  I also had terrible constipation 3 days out of my first AC. I felt like I was delivering babies again.  Anyhow, I would also recommend 2 Green Tea extract tablets each night as well.  It is a very reliable natural way to help with the big C

Heather

hereandnow - I would definitely agree that the port is the way to go although having it put in was not exactly a picnic for me.  They led me to believe that it would take 20 minutes, simple process, but it ended up taking them over an hour and I was sore for about a week afterward - probably from them twisting and turning me me trying to get a good vein. But I definitely think that it is worth it.  My veins for some reason aren't the best so sometimes it would take a several sticks to get a good one.  And I hate it when they say - "Sorry, is this hurting?"  YES IT IS HURTING!

I'm better today!  Thanks for all the well wishes! Actually went for a walk around the neighborhood.  Beautiful weather.  I'm sure I will be back to work tomorrow. But I'm glad for that. 

JLLG - I remember getting sick like that on the tilt -o-whirl too as a teenager! Hope you are better today. Sounds like you've got a great bucket list going. 

Dulbin4 - July will be here before you know it! That will probably be close to when I have my exchange too.  (4 weeks after I am done with this mess) Every day is a step closer ...

Hugs to all, Charley

Feeling a little better today.  I don't have the problem of yesterday, but just feel worn out and have had a nosebleed.  I've really tried to be "up" throughout this, but have found myself a bit down today. Tonight I am supposed to go to a Feel Good Look Good class at the hospital.  I sure hope I feel like going as I could certainly use it today!  I'll report about it all tomorrow when I WILL feel much better. One day at a time, doable and temporary......

As far as hair loss- I never shaved mine, but instead just let it come out.  As you can tell from my picture, it was various shades of white, gray, brown/black ,and very thick.  Everything left but the white!!!  I thought it would be the first to go.  I still have quite a bit and am not shedding any more, but look so old with all this white.  Do you think I will lose the rest of it after this second treatment?  Or do you just lose it once? 

Did I forget to mention in my last post that the bloating has occured again?  In case I didn't mention it, I figure now is the time to say it is back.  Gee.............

And living in New Hampshire I have always wanted a fur scarf....but lo and behold, what do I get....a fur tongue.....gotta love it.....

I have been on a course of Diflucan and just when it seems to be getting the "Thrush" and mouth ulcers under control, it comes rushing back.  I have read everything I can possibly read on this condition and have been diligent about mouth care, not eating sweets, keeping my carb levels low and steady.  I have avoided dairy products except for yogurt that contains acidophilus, not eating mushrooms, no dried fruit....on and on....I am now swish and swallowing Nystatin.....

Does anyone have a hint on what else I can do to conquer this fur thing???? ( I am quickly losing my sense of humor with this issue.....)

Maybe some supplemental acidophilus caps........Maybe a Cider Vinegar mouthrinse...?

I also read that a study was done using lemon grass, but with the ulcers, I decided that probably was not something I would try...

Everyday seems to bring with it some challenge or another when it comes to chemo.....I will continue to stay positive and I will continue to smile even when I want to scream really really bad vulgar to the core words.............(I hope) 

P.S.   I love white hairs.....sort of like little wires sticking out of my scalp...LOL!

Peace to you all

So this how my day went:   cooler packed, check    bag packed, check   hubby has computer + work packed, check.  Get to Onc. at 11:00, get in at 11:15- great should be hooked up to the poison  by noon.  Nurse comes in and asks again where I had my blood work done, tell her Quest.  She says they don't have record of you giving blood on Fri.  Oh yes I was there, i waited 1 hour to have that blood drawn.  She says , I called 3 times no luck.  give her the address, description of the women who took my blood.  Dr. comes in, all is good, looks at my scabs - yes I still have scabs from my incisions from 8 weeks ago.  They'll fall off she says.  Really, when-- not looking like anytime soon.   Can see the impression through my cami and shirt.  hmmm , need that blood-work, oh don't worry I say, I feel really good, not tired anymore.  Knock, knock, blood-work comes in and Dr. says, this is exactly why I need the blood-work.  My liver enzymes are very elevated.  They were after the surgery as well, which was attributed to the anesthesia.  They did come down, but it pushed back chemo.   Oh we cannot do Chemo today with these numbers.   WHAT???????? ARE YOU KIDDING ME????? And that is how my day went.  No Chemo and an appt. with a new Dr. to see what the cause of the liver is.  And if they don't come down enough we wait another week.  ARE YOU SERIOUS??   The plus side is no worries about my hair falling out by Friday.  I'll make it through the prom with my hair.  And will be feeling good.  Sigh  Think Positive, think positive----  We did go out to a nice lunch.  I figure with my liver they are going to cut off my white wine!!!  

JLLG - Have you tried Magic Mouthwash -- My onc. said to ask the chemo nurses for some, she said it works really well for mouth sores.  Not sure about the fuzz.  Hope you feel better.  Good days are ahead!

 Charley -- I have a port as well and I thought the same as you.  No big deal having it put in.  But afterwards, I felt like he beat me up.  At the time I didn't have full range of motion and I think the way my arm was strapped down really stretched it.  It hurt me for a week.  But I'm still glad I did it.

Joj129-- Welcome but I am sorry you are here. But it is a good place to come to.  I refer to everyone as my cyber girls to my husband.

Wishing everyone a free SE night!!

Okay so a few thing tonight.  First off I am 12 days out from chemo #1 and my hair (what hair I have left after having it buzzed) is starting to fall out.  Not a surprise but still kinda freaky!  My husband, bless his heart, thinks I'm sexy without my hair, remember the movie GI Jane? Go figure   Anyway my mouth sores and heartburn are out of control and I will be having my second chemo on Wednesday and I am worried because they are only going to get worse.  Ugggh not looking forward to it.  For those of you that have had DD AC #2 did your SEs get a ton worse or stay the same?  I am thinking I may just take a few of my xanax and sleep through the week LOL.  Oh and a new SE I am lucky enough to experience...dry eyes.  Riddle me this, why is it that when you have DRY eyes they constantly water??  LOL  I hope everyone is having a fabulous night/day, 'cause it seems that with chemo each day is better than the last!  NOT   xoxo Angi

Head tingling....hair coming out....chest feels like a house is sitting on top of it (due to tissue expanders) and trying to maintain a normal day to day life....things that make you go HUMMMMM!!!!!

Remember ladies FORWARD and TEMPORARY!!!!!! 

Hello Ladies,

Thank you for the response to my question on radiation.  I will discuss more with my Onc.

Angi- My SEs were definitely more after round 2.  I was so fatigued and dizzy.  But round 3 has been better for me.  Although the dizziness is still bothering me and I am waiting for it to clear in a day or two.  For the mouth sores are you gargling with salt water-it helped me.

Hope everyone feels better.

Am feeling better today- 6th day after 2nd TC TX.   

Last night I went to a "Look Good Feel Better" class and it was wonderful!  There were only five of us in the class.  The other four had ovarian cancer.  It was such a support group.  We all bonded, shared, laughed, and looked better and I think felt better when we left.   The class is put on by the ACS.  We were each given a bag of really wonderful cosmetics and professional instruction as to how to apply them.  I highly recommend it.  You can Google the class and see if it is offered in your area.  

I think of you all so often and so wish we weren't here, but at the same time am glad that we are  here for each other. Am hoping today is a better day than yesterday for each of us!

Tid bits from the other side of the drip

 Thanks to all the Marchers for information that helps with understanding what my wife is going through. You all are so tuff, it makes me wonder if I could do what you all are going through. 

I am hesitant to bring up this topic, but felt that it might be good for me to get out in the open and I wonder if any of your significant others are feeling the same way at time. Basically I am embarrased to admit that this chemo and cancer is getting me down. I know that I need to be supportive, but I am starting to get a little numb. Maybe it is because I am feeling some of the emotional pains of the cancer. I am only into this thing for 3 and 1/2 months and already I am getting tired. With the rest of chemo and rad we are looking till early fall for this to get over. The hard part is that I am not sick, I have the same desires and wants as I did previous to the cancer, but my eating habits have changed (most meals I like are not on her want list), our love life is next to zero (SE's are hell on the libido) and we cannot travel until this is over. 

On top of all of this I really feel bad about how I am feeling, I should be cheery and upbeat, but it is getting hard and is really easy to hunker down and pull back. I have read about guys that divorced and dump girlfriend that are undergoing treatment and my only thought was "what a loser, who could do that?" Going through this I am finding that  it is easy to judge others and be ashamed of your own actions. I have really noticed a pull back lately.  Has anyone's husband or signififcant other been more distant lately?