My Mom Passed away today...

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  • baywatcher
    baywatcher Member Posts: 532
    edited April 2010

    Deb-

    I am thinking of you and I am so sorry for your loss.

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  • Kodapants
    Kodapants Member Posts: 139
    edited April 2010

    Deb,

    I am sorry for the loss of your beloved Mother.  Peace to you and your family.  Stay strong.

    Hugs

    Koda

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  • ktr3
    ktr3 Member Posts: 9
    edited April 2010

    Oh Hon, I am so sorry to hear about your Mom.  My mother is gone almost 20 years now and I still miss her a lot.  Try to remember that you are over-whelmed and be Very Good to yourself.  I just remember asking God to give me strength to grieve for my mama and help me to understand she is okay wherever she is.

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  • cherneski
    cherneski Member Posts: 726
    edited April 2010

    Thank you all again so much.  These last few days have been hard, we have been getting the services prepared and now get to start the services tonight. UGGG Lord give me strenghth to get through all of this.  You have all given me many comforting words.  I am giving the uligy, but now I am speechless.  Seems like this last month I havent had many words. I am not so angry, so I guess that is good.  But I just walk around in a daze.  Last night I couldnt get her voice out of my head and of course the guilt of never had spent enough time with her.  I dont know why, as I always tell everyone not to feel this way.  I am just a mess.

    We found an elvelope of things she wanted in her casket with her, that sent me over the edge a bit.  My Father, husband and oldest son are being pole barrers.  My youngest daughter lost it and still continues to break down into tears.

    Mom will be laid to rest Friday April 9th.  I was dx last April 9th.  April sux.

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited April 2010

    So sorry, Deb. May she rest in peace.

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  • Bugs
    Bugs Member Posts: 1,719
    edited April 2010

    Deb, you and your family continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.  You'll find the right words to say.  {{big hugs}}}

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  • kittycat
    kittycat Member Posts: 2,144
    edited April 2010

    I am so sorry to hear this!  (((hugs)))

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  • AnnNYC
    AnnNYC Member Posts: 4,484
    edited April 2010

    Oh, Deb -- I have been thinking of you and your family nonstop, and I wish you all the strength that can be mustered among all of your family, and all of us -- I hope your Mom's voice in your head will help you with the eulogy, and I know that whatever you say will be beautiful.  April sure does suck.  I am so sorry, and send you all my love.  Ann

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  • Bambaloos
    Bambaloos Member Posts: 85
    edited April 2010

    Deb, I am so terribly sorry for your loss, I cannot imagine what you are going through on top of everything else you are coping with.  My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

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  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited April 2010

    Deb, I spoke at both my parent's funerals. It was very hard but surely an honour. Speak from your heart and pull your strength from all of us here. I talked about what they loved to do in life and their sense of humour and things like that. People told me it was nice to hear of things they liked but hadn't shared with others.

    You don't have to say anything during the visiting hours. It is a time for you to be comforted by others. Let them. Use your emotional energy for your kids and yourself at this time.

    You are not alone sweetie. Much love,

    Barbe

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  • kimf
    kimf Member Posts: 334
    edited April 2010

    So very sorry for your loss.

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  • Octobergirl
    Octobergirl Member Posts: 334
    edited April 2010

    Thinking of you and your family now...especially your daughter and you.  April has new meaning for you...may you find strength and hold on to good memories as you emerge from the shock of the last few weeks.

    Molly

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  • pupfoster1
    pupfoster1 Member Posts: 1,484
    edited April 2010

    Deb if I am not too forward, I would like to send a note to you.

    Would you mind posting your postal address either here or PM me.   It's OK if you are too overwhelmed right now.  I completely understand.

    Thoughts and love coming your way,

    Sharon

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  • Alyson
    Alyson Member Posts: 4,308
    edited April 2010

    Deb sending prayers and blessings for you and your family to get through Friday.I didn't get to speak at my mother's funeral as I was on the other side of the world, but she will be with you as you speak.

    Alyson

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  • karen1956
    karen1956 Member Posts: 6,503
    edited April 2010

    Deb...will be thinking of you tomorrow.....((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))  Karen

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  • 3jaysmom
    3jaysmom Member Posts: 4,266
    edited April 2010

    i am new still wanted to jump in and say i'm so sorry you lost your mom.that's another thing in common we have. its been two years,i still miss her..and the good news if there is any; (maybe later) is that i have questions, and can hear her answers in my memory..She will live always in your heart. hang on to your family,honey, and come to the boards.we will be here waitibg. my prayers r with u and ur family  light and love, cherie1

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  • NancyD
    NancyD Member Posts: 3,562
    edited April 2010

    Deb, I'm so sorry for your loss. You're probably in the middle of her funeral service right now, so I will only add that I hope things go well, and that your eulogy does what's it's supposed to do...honor your mother's memory with both tears and laughter and joy at having known her.

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  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited April 2010

    Thinking of you today Deb. Your pain and tears validate your love...you honour your Mom. God Bless.

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  • Faith316
    Faith316 Member Posts: 2,431
    edited April 2010

    I have also been thinking about you today, Deb. as your mom is laid to rest.  It will be a hard day for you and I hope it will help to know that others are thinking of you as you go through such a difficult, sad time.

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  • jenn3
    jenn3 Member Posts: 3,316
    edited April 2010

    You've been on my mind and I wanted you to know I'm thinking of you.  I am so terribly sorry for your loss - there are no words that can take away the pain, but know that we are all here holding your hand surrounding you with hugs............

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited April 2010

    Deb,  I just logged on and you have been so on my mind these days and I wanted to let you know my heart is with you. The day my own mom passed away suddenly, was so overwhelming and I do remember all the feelings that I was engulfed with.  The real sting of it all was that I missed her so. 

    image

    Barb

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  • deborye
    deborye Member Posts: 7,002
    edited April 2010

    So Sorry for you Loss, Deb♥

    I will be thinking of you.

    Hugs,

    Debbie

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  • AnacortesGirl
    AnacortesGirl Member Posts: 1,758
    edited April 2010

    My heart goes out to you and your family.

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  • Beverly11
    Beverly11 Member Posts: 443
    edited April 2010

    Deb - My thoughts and prayers are with you.  You have been through so much; it is tough losing a parent on top of everything!  I lost my mom a couple of days after I was dx so I do know what the numb feeling is about.  It is just too much to even comprehend.  Hope you are gaining strength day by day.

    Bev

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  • konakat
    konakat Member Posts: 6,085
    edited April 2010

    Oh Deb, I am so very sorry about the loss of your Mom.  Hugs and love,

    Elizabeth

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  • debbie6122
    debbie6122 Member Posts: 5,161
    edited April 2010

    Deb, I know you need lots of time to heal and deal with all your pain, but just wanted to let you know you were in my thoughts

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  • cherneski
    cherneski Member Posts: 726
    edited April 2010

    Well Friday had come and on my hour long drive to the funeral home is when I was composing the uligy.  I didnt have time or the brain power, I was (still am) such a mess.  I jotted down a few notes in the car.  As far as funeral services go, I must say this was beautiful. My Mom collected dolls, and my father couldnt bare to look at all of them all over the house, so we brought them all there, set them up on a couch and Dad let certain family and friends pick one out and take it home. So everyone got a litttle piece of what Mom loved.  We did the video, and the picture boards, but we also added 2 tables that had things like her wedding crown, her little breast cancer mouse for me, cards from all of us through the years, hers and my dads high school pictures. Cards she had given to her mom waaaaay back, like 1950s.  It was beautiful.

    My youngest daughter (7) sang with my niece, they sang the "grand old flag", my Dad just about lost it at that point.  My oldest son (19) said a few short simple sweet, very sweet words, he is lost, they were very close. I got up and did the uligy and the words just flowed I captured what I wanted to capture about my Mom, she didnt have an easy life, but she had a happy one. She raised 4 beautiful daughters and held a marriage together for almost 50 years.  That takes WORK. I know she would have expected me to speak, and I know she would have been proud.  My father was pleased.

    You have all helped me so so much. Thank you as always.  Many words have stuck with me, but I must tell you that Marlegals post hit home, my Mom has taught me what she needed too.  She was here until all of the grandchildren arrived, I was done with tx, I know how much work a marriage is, and every second of it is worth it.

    I did something really stupid, we found an envelope with some instructions, notes, some things and pictures she wanted in her casket with her.  She also had a list of some of her jewlery to go to which daugher, well I left it in the enlvelope that went into the casket with her.  I remember all of it but my one sisters.  I had read it to all of them, and she doesnt remember either, so I gave her what I am pretty sure it was.  I really cant believe I did that, but ummm yeah my mind is just shot.

    Anyway, I can never thank any of you enough for all that you have done for me this past year.

    Bless you all.

    So much love! Deb

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  • diana50
    diana50 Member Posts: 2,134
    edited April 2010

    Debi

    so many of us have been with you; please know the comfort of people you don't know....people who hold you and your family close in prayer.  we care. we care about you and your family. been thinking about you the last days.  know that we are standing close and you are not alone.

    diana

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  • karen1956
    karen1956 Member Posts: 6,503
    edited April 2010

    Deb....The service sounds like it was lovely....what a nice thing for your dad to do, to give those who loved your mom one of the dolls...what a wonderful keepsake/memory to have....and the table...and what you wrote about your mom.....you are a special daughter....your mom taught you well....I hope your memories will bring you peace and comfort. HUgs, Karen

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  • Fidelia
    Fidelia Member Posts: 397
    edited April 2010

    Dear Deb,

    I read all these posts from beginning to end and have been really moved at the love and strength you have shown - your mother must have been a remarkable person to have raised such a loving family. 

    Fidelia

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