Just diagnosed and scared.

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mamaof3bugs
mamaof3bugs Member Posts: 198

I am a 37 year old stay at home mom of three little girls (11,9,7) and I was diagnosed on Friday with IDC grade 3.  I live in the Seattle Area and will be going to Seattle Cancer Care Alliance but I will be getting additional opinions this week.  I am scared.   The wait is what is getting to me, I need answers NOW!!  I was told that with a grade three tumor that chemo was pretty much a given, anyone have any info to the contrary?  I have a feeling I will be here a ton.  It is so comforting to read about all the survivors!  I look forward to getting to know all of you.  Thank you, Angi

Comments

  • CoolBreeze
    CoolBreeze Member Posts: 4,668
    edited January 2010

    Hi Angi,

    I know you are scared but you'll get through it.  Grade 3 does not mean chemo is a given.  There are other things that will come in to play when determining chemo, for example, your HER2 status.  if you are HER2+, you will be recommended chemo and also herceptin.  You also need to know your ER/PR status.

    if you are HER2-, and your nodes are clean you may not need chemo at all.  It's possible you can be treated surgically alone.  However, your relatively young age will play a factor into treatment decisions and it's possible chemo will be recommended for you.

    But, let me reassure you, if you do need chemo, it is not anywhere near as bad as you fear.  Movies, TV, make it seem horrible but the fact is, the treatment has come a long way since the old days.  I've had three rounds, with three rounds to go.  I have lost my hair but I haven't had a second of nausea or illness.   My child is turning 13 next week and I'm still the mom I've always been.

    May I recommend that you get a copy of your pathology report?  You need to know more than just the grade and that info should be on there.  Good luck to you - it's quite do-able.  :)

  • Kyta
    Kyta Member Posts: 713
    edited January 2010

    Hi Angi.

    I'm sorry you're having to join this group but happy to tell you that you'll find a lot of support and information from these very informative and caring women. I'm sorry I don't have any specific advice for you, but can definitely empathize about the waiting...isn't it just the worst? I'm assuming your results are from a biopsy...will you be having surgery soon?

    Anyway, just wanted to welcome you and wish you well on this crappy, but hopefully temporary, journey.

  • mamaof3bugs
    mamaof3bugs Member Posts: 198
    edited January 2010

    My pathology reports stats:
    Diagnosis

    1. Infiltrating Ductal Carcinoma

    2.Modified Bloom and Richardson grade 3/3 (poor tubule formation=3, high nuclear grade=3, high mitoic rate=3

    3. angiolymphatic invasion is not identified

    4. no diefinitive ductal carcinoa in situ identidied

    5. breast immunohistochemical panel pendin and will be reported as an addendum (I am assuming this is why I don't have more info??)

    Any help understanding all this would be greatly appreciated!!

     Thank you,

    Angi

  • CoolBreeze
    CoolBreeze Member Posts: 4,668
    edited January 2010

    Hi Angi,

    Yes, you are right, the pending line means they are testing your cells.  ER+ means your tumor grows in response to estrogen, PR+ means it grows in response to progesterone, and HER2+ means you have a particularly aggressive kind that grows due to a specific cell protein but which responds very well to herceptin.  

    You can have any combination of these, or all + or all -.  All -  is called "triple negative"

    Given that your tumor is 2 cm, grade 3 and you are only 37, I'd be surprised if you didn't have chemo but then again, it's hard for anybody to say this early.  I know you want to know it all right away - I remember those days.   :)  

    You'll read a lot here that waiting is the worse, and it is.  Treatment is a piece of cake compared to wondering what is going to happen.

    Tumor size, by the way, is an estimate.  They can't really know for sure until surgery. Mine was off and I had two more areas of invasion that didn't show up on any of the tests. They did know I had multifocal cancer though, so lumpectomy was never an option for me.

    If you are ER+ and HER2- and they recommend chemo anyway, you can ask for the Oncotype DX test (if they don't do it automatically) which will give you an idea of your odds of recurrance and how much chemo will help you.

    It's a given if you are HER2+ you'll be recommended for chemo. 

    Keep us updated.  I know it's a really difficult time for you right now but try to believe me when I saw this is the worst part.  Once you get your treatment plan, you'll feel better.

  • Sido
    Sido Member Posts: 234
    edited January 2010

    Hi Angi,

    I just finished chemo in December.  I'm also grade 3, but my tumor was triple negative (er-, pr-, HER2-) so chemo was my only option.  It is hard, but definitely do-able.  I was terrified at the prospect because my mom died 20 years ago from lung cancer and chemo for her was hell, but a lot has changed and doctors have a lot of tools at their disposal to make it easier.  My oncologist's primary reason for suggesting chemo was my age (42), since I young and had a lot of years ahead of me.  Also triple negative cancer responds really well to chemo.

    But you may not need it after all.  I know it is hard, but I scared the heck out of myself reading about the worst case scenario.  It wasn't until I met with my breast surgeon that anyone sat down and explained everything to me.  She's now pretty much my favorite person.

    I'm so sorry you have to be here.  Keep us posted.

  • LINDAGARSIDE
    LINDAGARSIDE Member Posts: 345
    edited January 2010

    Hi Angi...welcome aboard.  I live just up from you...Vancouver Island...in British Columbia.  This isn't a great way to be introduced but, "Howdy neighbour"

    I was diagnosed in late December and like you, have IDC.  I am older than you (58).  I don't know yet if I am going to require chemo but know for sure I will need radiation.

    I encourage you to listen to what all your sisters here at the breast site say as they really do have a wealth of information.  Do get copies of all your reports and start to 'drive your own bus'.

    My sister (who is a nurse) had some excellent advice.  She says, "Don't worry about anything until you have something to worry about".  I was starting to plan my funeral as soon as I was diagnosed...even picking out the music.  LOL.  As it turns out...I now realize I have every chance of dancing to music at my grandchildren's wedding.

    Try not to get discouraged...take one day and one thing at a time and look for how you can fight this thing.  I love the signature one of our sisters uses: "Never Surrender". 

    Keep in touch with everyone and let them know how you are doing....we're all here for you.  God bless.

  • pattyrn212
    pattyrn212 Member Posts: 41
    edited January 2010

    Hi there,

    I was 37 last in Nov. 2008 when I was diagnosed with Stage 3 IDC in my right breast and 3 nodes positive.  I had surgery within 2 weeks...but my friend who had the same situation had chemo first. I welcomed all the treatments I could get......in my mind I didn't want any regrets.  My son was 7 months at the time and my daughter had just turned 3.  I had bilateral mastectomy (left breast by choice) with lymphectomy 7 months of chemo, 7 weeks of radiation.  I'm still getting herceptin every three weeks and I am also on Femara.  I am BRCA2 positive and chose to have a complete hysterectomy to decrease my chances of recurrence.   I'm a 14 month survivor =)  I took care of my children through it all =)  I had some help from my sister during my Adriamycin/cytoxan treatments but just for a few days after my treatment.  Please feel free to contact me with any questions =)  We are all here for you =)  Be strong pink sister =)  Much love, Patty

  • idaho
    idaho Member Posts: 1,187
    edited January 2010

    Make sure they run an oncotype test on your cancer... if you get a low score on that you will not need chemo.   Wishing you peace and health.   Tami

  • lovinmomma
    lovinmomma Member Posts: 1,879
    edited January 2010

    Hi there. I was 41 when I was diagnosed, with little ones also. I am on the other side of the state. I know how scary this time is.  I had kids around that age and we can do it, becasue we have to.

  • mamaof3bugs
    mamaof3bugs Member Posts: 198
    edited January 2010

    I just want to take a moment to thank you ladies for all your advice and encouragement!!  I am so thankful I found this board, for the first time in three days I don't feel like this is a death sentence.  I will keep you all updated.  Again thank you for helping me to understand everything.  I will have a million questions between now when I can call myself a survivor!  Angi

  • CoolBreeze
    CoolBreeze Member Posts: 4,668
    edited January 2010

    Angi, keep in mind you are only allowed to make five posts a day until get you get 50 posts.  So use 'em up so when you want to ask questions - you can. :)  You can always PM people even if you can't post.

  • chainsawz
    chainsawz Member Posts: 3,473
    edited January 2010

    Angi - this is all very scary but the people on this board are an amazing resource as you can already see :>  They have helped me tons.  You can live a good life despite breast cancer...hang in there.  

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited January 2010

    Angi

    I too am on the opposite side of the state as you but there is a thread here of ladies that are all on your side of the state and might be very helpful for you.....the thread is: Crazy Sexy Cancer in Seattle.

    Im sorry you've had this come into your life....you've found a wonderful resource with this website and someone will always be here for you no matter what time (day or night) to talk with you...

    Hugs

    Jule

  • AmyIsStrong
    AmyIsStrong Member Posts: 1,755
    edited January 2010

    Angi - Just  two quick anecdotes to encourage you.  I finished chemo in July and am doing great, but I'm 52, my kids are grown, my experience isn't exactly applicable to your situation.
    BUT - a neighbor was diagnosed a few months after me. She is around 40 (I think) and is a stay at home mom, kids around 12 and 10.  I met with her and went over all the info I had learned about chemo and handed off my scarves and hats to her.  I've been checking in to see how she is doing.

    So after her first chemo, I saw her out shopping. Then I heard she was out at the kids' swim meet. Then she emailed me after her 2nd chemo to say she was doing fine and was going to start back playing tennis in her ladies' league again!  It REALLY isn't as brutal as the old stories/movies make it out to be. Please stay encouraged. You may have some difficult days, but they pass and then you're able to live fully again.  You can do this!

    In sisterhood and support - 

    Amy

  • hornsemail
    hornsemail Member Posts: 8
    edited February 2010

    Hi Neighbor,

    I am in NW Montana and you wouldn't believe the cancer specialist we have here!  I was heading to Utah to the Huntsman Center for my surgery when I met Dr. Hulvat here in little Kalispell.  The one thing she told me is with breast cancer there are so many options and you can throw everything including the kitchen sink at this thing!  At first I was NOT going to have chemo.  I felt with my diagnosis I didn't need it.  Then of course Dr. Hulvat reminded me that I went for a very radical surgery to make sure I never get BC again, so why would I deny myself this treatment!  Don't I want to make sure it does not come back?!?!?!  I am only 45, no children, 2 dogs and a wonderful supportive and the best caretaker of a husband.  I know our situations are different, but I start chemo tomorrow!  I am nervous about it and have another post out about my nerves.  I am terrified of infection because I was set back a week due to an abscessed tooth and an emergency root canal.  But I know I will make it through this and you can too!  

    God bless you and sit down with your oncologist and make the best decision for you and your family!  We have lots of options, why not throw the kitchen sink at this thing!!!

    Take care and keep us posted!

    Sherrie

  • CMT
    CMT Member Posts: 24
    edited February 2010

    Angi, I was diagnosed with bc in October of last year and know exactly how you're feeling! I wanted answers "now" and felt things were moving too slow regarding next steps. Looking back, I now understand that my doctors needed to know what was going on with me before they recommended treatment plans and the oncology team need to be on the same page. My plan included chemo but fortunately, I was able to speak with a friend of my sister's who is a 7 year bc survivor (NED) and she told me that she "sailed" through chemo. That's all I needed to hear because I was praying for the same thing! And guess what...I am!!  People can't believe I'm going through treatment and the nurses and doctors are somewhat astounded with my phenomenal response. I sandwiched my chemo - 4 cycles of AC then lumpectomy surgery, followed by 12 more cycles of chemo, then radiation. When I had the surgery, my tumor was gone and no cancer was found in the lymph nodes they removed. God does hear and answers prayers!! You will do well no matter what treatment is decided on!

  • Iamstronger
    Iamstronger Member Posts: 378
    edited February 2010

    HI Angi,

    So sorry that you are joining the club that nobody wants to join.  But, this web-site is a great source of information and support. 

    I totally understand how you are feeling.  I was diagnosed 01/07.  It is so overwhelming in the beginning and all the unknowns are brutal.  Once I met with my Oncologist, I was so relieved.  I got a course of action and realized that this isn't a death sentence.  I am a 44 yr old stay at home mom with a 2 & 3 yo.  I am by no means ready to leave my little boys!

    There is also a thread under the Chemo thread called Crazy, sexy in Seattle.  You might find that helpful. 

    You are in my thoughts and prayers and breast cancer can be beat!!

    Verene

  • shb
    shb Member Posts: 4
    edited March 2010

    Hi Angi

    I had been diagnosed with invasive ductal Carcinoma (Stage 2A/grade 3/PR &SR+/HER-).First of all don't be afraid , there are so many treatment available.I am finishing my six months of chemo next week , you can do it. I was scare to death, I am 45 years old and I had to work all through my chemo and I did(only a few days after AC chemo, I couldn't work). Every morning when I GET UP , I KEEP TELLING MYSELF I WILL BEAT THIS MONSTER , YOU CAN DO IT TOO GIRLFRIEND.Hanging there.Best wishes.

                                                               Shb

  • SallyEvian
    SallyEvian Member Posts: 21
    edited March 2010

    Angi-

    I am 33 (was 32 when I was diagnosed), and live in Portland - being treated at OHSU. I just finished my six sessions of chemo and worked full time the whole time. It wasn't bad at all.  I had a little trouble sleeping from the steriods they gave to take around the chemo, and a little tired the day after.

    I had a brain tumor when I was in college and had a different chemo for that - which also wasn't too bad.  These folks are right. And it its over before you know it.

  • scrapmom40
    scrapmom40 Member Posts: 165
    edited March 2010

    Hi Angi - I was diagnosed 2 years ago at age 40 and my two boys were ages 12 and 8 at the time.  I had to do 4 rounds of chemo since I had lymph vessel invasion.  I was treated at Dana Farber in Boston and their they have a social worker that we met with as a family and they gave the kids some books that were for their age about having a parent with cancer, etc.  Sometimes the kids might not want to talk with you about it and might feel more comfortable talking to a social worker or someone else.  When you find out you have cancer, you want it removed as soon as possible, but as I was told, not much is going to happen over a month or so.  I was diagnosed on 1/31/08 and did not have my surgery until March and my Chemo did not start until the last week of April.  It takes time for them to run all of the tests and scans, etc.

    Stay Strong and come back often with any questions you have.  No question is a silly question.

    Take care and keep us updated.

    Karen

  • charleneg
    charleneg Member Posts: 69
    edited March 2010

    Angi,

    I am 59 and was diagnosed in October 08.  That period of time between being diagnosed and before treatment got underway was the longest time of my life.  I am ER-, PR-, HER+, Stage 1, Grade 3, had lumpectomy, radiation 2x a day for 1 week, chemo for 8 cycles, then Herceptin for 1 year and am winding out with Herceptin April 2010.  I had very little side effects with chemo, 2x nauseous very little, metal mouth, and mostly very tired - sleeping 12 hour nights at times.  It was very doable and I was so shocked as it scared me just the word chemo.  There is so much anti-nausea medicine they give you that works great.  Herceptin has hardly no side effects and no tiredness.  Thank God for Herceptin as it is a great break through in this type of cancer and has had great results. 

    I pray you do well and don't psyche yourself out so much.  You will get through this hard time and then you are almost finished with treatment.  Honestly.  

  • juliebtaurus
    juliebtaurus Member Posts: 2
    edited April 2010

    HI Iam Julie iam 47 yrs old and i was diagnosed on the 19th march after finding a lump/thickening in my left breast i thought i had pulled a muscle swimming but started to get burning and pain mid -cycle in my breast andother than the was sent along for mammogramme and biopsy which revealed i had idc and 4cm tumour although no nodes were palpable and nothing other than the tumour showed up abnormal on the scans i was offered a wide excision lumpectomy with radiation afterwards .i have just undergone surgery on the 30th march but had to have a total clearance of nodes as they were swollen and suspicious i was devastaed by this news as i didnt think it had spread that far and although really positive at first this really felt like yet another brick in the face i have to go and get results  and pathology report on friday(8TH APRIL) and feel just as scared as  waiting for 1st lot of results i have been told that it is strongly ER+ and it was a grade 2 but could be upgraded to 3 depending on node results.iam doing fine after surgery and although dont know treatment plan for definate ihave a gut instinct that this will be definately chemo and or radiotherapy and i know tamoxifen 5yrs after and although i am petrified of the tx i know i have to do whatever they say to give me the best chance .I have already been stronger than i thought i could ever be because at first i didnt know how i was even going to tell my husband and my daughter and mam and dad who are 80yr and didnt want to give them all this worry and turn their world upside down ( after all iam still their baby) but they have all been amazing and strong and i have a beautiful amazing family.They are my rocks ,and all you ladies and men out their with bc are all very brave ,strong beautiful people .anyone tell me how long chemo lasts and how often tx given and any tips and advice to get through this.love and prayers to all xx Julie

  • Laura2009
    Laura2009 Member Posts: 13
    edited April 2010

    Hi Julie,

    I was diagnosed last July and had a lumpectomy, followed by chemotherapy (TC 4x) and radiation.  I meet with my oncologist tomorrow to talk about the next phase (most likely tamoxifan).  You will find out much more when you get your pathology report and the recommendations from your oncologist.  Not knowing was the hardest part for me, along with the fear and anxiety before starting treatment.

    If you oncologist recommends chemo, he/she recommend the frequency and type of chemotherapy -- I met many people during my chemo sessions, and each one was undergoing a difference course of treatment.  I did seek a second opinion before starting chemo, and I ended up being treated by the second oncologist because I simply had a greater comfort level with him and his approach.  I took TC (taxotere & cytoxin) for 4 treatments, 3 weeks between treatments.  Don't be afraid to ask about the type of chemotherapy your oncologist recommends, and why he recommends that type over another type.  

     I won't say I enjoyed chemo ... but it truly wasn't as bad as I had feared it would be.  I worked full-time, but did take each treatment day off and was able to telecommute the next day.  I did have fatigue and had to pace myself as well as learn to rely on my family and friends to help out and be understanding that I couldn't be as active during treatment.  It helped me to plan out my 'chemo vacation days' by having a movie night in following my treatments and making sure I was stocked up by the standby snack food (grapes!  I was addicted to grapes during chemo!).

    It sounds like you have a wonderful, supportive family.  You will get through this.  It sounds cliched, but just take it one step at a time until you are finished!

    Good luck! 

  • lemonjello
    lemonjello Member Posts: 75
    edited April 2010

    I was 65 when diagnosed with IDC , last year i went thru two lumpectomies, 4 rounds of taxotere and cytoxan, 6 weeks of whole breast radiation.  Looking back, I did just fine.  And I want you to know that i had heart disease, kidney disease, asthma, diabetes type 2 before treatment.  Recently I passed all my  follow up scans with flying colors, my tumor marker test was fine.  My mammograms are negative and the onc has me on the six month check up schedule now.  Thru the tunnel !  I was node negative but chose chemo due to the grade three path report.  I am ready to do battle again if necessary.  I have an aunt that survived two breast cancers twenty years apart and lived to be 88!  She had her first cancer at age 40, her second at age 60, and died of kidney failure at 88.  You be strong.  I've met survivors that are real warriors and i learned from them.  This site is a goldmine!

     I am advising you to discuss with your doctor what your treatment options are, but do not rest your decision on fear of the treatment.  The radiation for me was rough, I had a larger breast which required longer periods of time and larger fields of radiation.  The chemo was not pleasant, many down days, but never any nausea or death bed feeling.  Lost my hair, no big deal to me.  Got it back curlier and grey.  I think  your children will be the best motivation you have for making the best fight you can to conquer your disease.  Fight it, you can win.

  • charleneg
    charleneg Member Posts: 69
    edited April 2010

    Sherrie,

    I have a friend in Montana whose husband has cancer.  Is Dr. Hulvat a breast cancer specialist only?  Can I have the phone number and the first name?  Thanks so much.

    Just finished 1 year of Herceptin and all this journey has been very doable.  Hang in there everyone as there is so much great help to walk this journey these days.

    Love,

    Charlene

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