silly but true

I know a lot of these types of things aren't actually true, but when I was a medical transcriptionist, I occasionally came across a doctor who just wasn't thinking when he was talking. I started keeping a list of the funny things doctors say, and I came across it after all this time, and thought I'd share it with you all...



The patient was born in 1984 and has had diabetes since 1983.

This 29-year-old female just returned from a trip to malaria.

The patient appeared to be a thrombosed hemorrhoid.

I had a long discussion with the patient's expired husband...

This 83-year-old man suffered back pain when he fell out of a palm tree. (he never did say what he was doing in the tree!!)

I am recommending that the patient undergo a 6-month colonoscopy.

With the medication, the patient was provided 2 months of relief this past month.

The patient has had a left eye since birth.

There continues to be a discoloration and thickening of all 20 toenails.

She has a history of deafness secondary to a childhood bout of mastitis.

The child will be home schooled at a Christian school.

He is an only child who lives with his mom and his 2 sisters.

The patient is having right-sided headaches that feel like headaches.

The patient has a history that is notable for a history of being a man with a history of MS.

The child underwent an operation on Dec. 13, and then a repeat operation on Dec. 12.

She feels neck pain that spreads to her ankles.

She has no headaches,but off and on she gets some mild headaches.

The remainder of the examination is documented in the medical student.

On cardiac exam, the patient has no murmur or heart rate.

The patient was there for the entire procedure.

The doctor advised surgery, as long as it was done by someone else.

The patient's pain is rated a 7 to 8 out of 5.

The patient has chronic low back pain in her knees and ankles.

There does not seem to be any intrauterine smoking.

The patient had a recent fall with pain in her foot. We will order a chest x-ray to follow this.



Anyway, I thought it might make you smile a bit.