Wake Up Call?

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Susie123
Susie123 Member Posts: 804
edited June 2014 in Stage I Breast Cancer
Wake Up Call?
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  • Susie123
    Susie123 Member Posts: 804
    edited March 2010

    Has anyone felt this way other than me? I'm 8 weeks post bilateral mast and have returned to work a couple of weeks ago. The last several years my job has became more and more stressful and it seems like none of us can satisfy corporate. I'm so tired of it and now that I've had cancer I'm starting to wonder if it's worth it. I could live to be 90, or BC could come back next month. We don't know how long we have to live and I would hate to think that I lived my last year on this earth so miserable. But then I think I must be crazy to even consider leaving a job when so many can't find work, and my insurance there is wonderful. I also have teenage children and my job supplies them with so many extras they wouldn't have if I quit. How do we decide what is more important?

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  • idaho
    idaho Member Posts: 1,187
    edited March 2010

    If I could survive without my income... then I would quit!  I would enjoy my kids and my life!  You will probably have many more years on this earth... but then you could die in a car accident tomorrow...  nobody knows how long they have.   Wishing you peace and health.   Tami

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  • dee1961
    dee1961 Member Posts: 1,672
    edited March 2010

    Money doesn't make a person happy, but it sure does give you allot more options. I would not quit my job unless you have a partner that can provide enough support for you and your children to live comfortably. I can understand not wanting to live your life miserably in a job that you hate, but the other side of the coin can be so much worse. Good luck to you in whatever you decide :)

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  • MzJ
    MzJ Member Posts: 31
    edited March 2010

    Hi Susie, I've felt that way many many times.  I've been at the same company for over 20 years and the past 4 years have been bad...stressful, unfair, mis-managed etc.  I'm tired of thinking "it's hit bottom so it's gotta get better" because it's not.    Here's what I do to get through:

    I search online and try to find a position in my area that offers the insurance, vacation time, benefits & salary that I have now if not better.  Most of the time I can't find one. So then I rationalize that I'm staying where I am because there is no real option.  Hey, I tried! Guess I gotta make do with what I've got.      A few times I have found something that looked promising.  Once I got up enough nerve and submitted a resume. It was so hard not to mention it to co-workers.  I was on pins and needles for days expecting an interview request.  Ego smack!  I never got a reply.   

    So I say, go ahead and look for a better job. It's empowering to take action, don't feel trapped.   If you find a great job, awesome! Go for it!   But don't leave your current job until you have another one confirmed. That's not being trapped, just being an economical realist.    In the meantime, try to look at work as just work.  Do your best. Then go home and enjoy your family time.

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  • 2Hands4me
    2Hands4me Member Posts: 484
    edited March 2010

    There are so many things to weigh in the decision - the age of your children, how well you can leave the stress at work when you come home at night, insurance issues, the type of work and the times of work, the fringe benefits, etc. The "teaching" you provide your children by setting the most important priorities - family time, the "extras" that may not be ALL important..... are all lessons that will stay with them forever. I agree with MzJ - I'd look for something else to help you feel like there are options. Try to think outside the box - if you work in retail, maybe there is something totally different that you could try. What would be your "dream" job? Even if it's completely different - at least explore the possibilities. A door may open that you totally didn't expect - when the time is right! Or maybe a different position in the same company is an option. Or maybe a little pay cut for less stress is worth a change. Only you and your husband can know all of the details. It might help to write out the pros and cons of your current position, or of finding something else. Or maybe you can help change the reason for so much stress at work. There ARE possibilities! Let us know.....

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  • dsub
    dsub Member Posts: 37
    edited March 2010

    I was put on disability, permanent with a 5 year review date. I currently work part time with my former employer at a different position. I can do this as I am "working while disabled", working only so many hours and making only so much money as to be able to keep my medicaid. My boss would not put me back on his insurance, (he pays Preminum). I get tired easy, although it's been a year since my last chemo. I am easily angered or easily start crying. I can't do that with my former position as I talk to clients daily. I to am afraid that I will work myself to my grave without really enjoying my grankids ect. I would rathr enjoy life at my pace rather then my boss's pace. Part time for me has worked out better for me mentally and physically than full time would have. Each must make their own choise.

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  • Susie123
    Susie123 Member Posts: 804
    edited March 2010

    Thank you all for sharing. I've decided to stay put at my job. As I mentioned, my children are teenagers and it is very important to me that they have a better life than I have had. Not that I've had a bad one, but I want them to be able to get a college education so they will have more options than I have had. I'm a store manager for a major pharmacy chain and work 50+ hours a week, nights, weekends, holidays..Yuk. But it pays well for where we live (small town) and will give my kids options they wouldn't have without it. My brain knows that, but occasionally my heart has to catch up!

    Susie

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  • rreynolds1
    rreynolds1 Member Posts: 450
    edited March 2010

    Hi Susie,

    Disease is Dis Ease.  I think stress is as important as any life style risk when we want to avoid a recurrence.  I'm sure your children want you to be happy more than they want the things your job provides.  The insurance is a bigger issue but right now there are government subsidies when you go on cobra.

    I would start by updating your resume and posting it on several websites.  See what pops up.  Who knows...the perfect job may just pop up.

    If you feel you can't change your job, try to change your perspective.  Look for the little things to appreciate about your days.  Don't fret about the things you can't control or change.  Be happy!

    Best of luck.

    Roseann

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  • Susie123
    Susie123 Member Posts: 804
    edited March 2010

    Thank you Roseann for your response. Unfortunately stress is a part of life. It can't be totally avoided. As far as resume posting, I live in a very small town in the mountains. We have double digit unemployment. And my kids, they're good kids, but they're typical teenage boys who I do put before myself, as any good mother would. You're right, some things we can't control so once we make up our mind on what we need to do, we just suck it up and do it. BC has thrown me a curve ball on my journey in life, but at the end of the day we all do what we feel is right for our family. My boys future is more important to me than my own bliss.

    Susie

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  • melissa-5-19
    melissa-5-19 Member Posts: 391
    edited March 2010

    Susie- dx in 9/09-BMX 10/19/09 - Retiring May 20, 2010, I am happy with my treatment condition, tired of working and honestly nothing is more valuable than the ME and US time I can create- people will be after my job and the work just keeps coming and I am just simply finished! Yes some feel like you do and how ever you feel is right for you- we are all in this together, yet we are individuals and have the right to feel the way we do and act on it- that also means no one else is wrong about the way they feel.

    Hang in until you come up with your answer. love ya, hugs and smiles your way-

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  • Susie123
    Susie123 Member Posts: 804
    edited April 2010

    Melissa-5-19,

    I read in one of your posts that you're able to start your retirement in May. You're a lucky duck! I'm not quite there yet, if I were, I would choose retirement as well!

    Congrats!

    Susie

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