MARCH 2010 Rads Group

Any of you ladies having vivid dreams?  2nd night in a row and it involves my husband cheating and believe me, he is so not the type and I seldom remember shit about my dreams never mind them involving him with another woman........could this be a WEIRD SE?  Or maybe due to the fact that I look like a fat freak!

3montsmama, thanks for the info about coconut oil! Guess I won't be using that anymore, yikes!
The radiation nurse looked at the ingredients in my bottle of 98% aloe vera gel and wasn't thrilled that "fragrance" is listed, but she's letting me keep using it for now. She said if it's not enough, they can give me a prescription for something...but I really really try to stay away from drugs and chemicals as much as possible, so I will try other natural stuff first - maybe calendula cream - if the aloe's not enough. (I have not seen any aloe plants anywhere!)

June, they told me Tom's of Maine deodorant is good! And they told me not to shave...argh. Well, they said I could shave my right armpit but not the left, and how stupid would that look?!?

Kathy, I'm sorry you had to see the sign, too! I don't know if that whole sticker thing is normal or not, because I'm only on day 3 and haven't had any stickers. I got tattoos.

There's a lot I don't understand about radiation, and I'm debating whether it would be worth it to me to ask a ton more questions until I understand it, or just trust that everyone knows what they're doing, even if I don't, and tough it out. In general, I'm the type of person who needs as much information as possible. But...I really don't like the rad. onc. (he's the only one within 90 mins of me in my hospital's network, and I can't afford the gas/time it would take to drive elsewhere every day), and all of my questions are ones that I'd have to ask him and not the techs, so maybe I don't want to extend my time with him any more than what he himself requires of me. For instance, yesterday, I was lying on the table under the linear accelerator and the techs were trying to position me and said, "Hold on, we need to have our physicist come in and check the field." I have no idea what that means, or why I then had all 3 of them taking turns tracing a line on my sternum and saying numbers at each other. I kept hearing "97." No idea! I wonder if I really care/need to know what it all means??

I HAVE to meet with the rad. onc. today after my treatment (I have to every Wed, I was told), so I will at least ask him:
1. Why can't I have my chickweed tea??
2. Tell me again what is being done to protect my heart and lung, and are you able to tell yet whether my heart and/or lung are in the field, and to what extent?

Here's something kind of silly/embarrassing to admit to... sometimes my anxiety over radiation causes me to get the radiation protocol mixed up with the protocol from all the previous medical procedures I've had in the past 4 months. I'll show up wearing a hairclip and have a flash of that "OH NO, I'm not supposed to have anything metal!" anxiety, then remember, no, that was only for the MRI. Then I'll think, "OH NO, I drank a coffee half an hour ago - I'm supposed to be fasting!", then remember, no, that was only before surgery. I just had a full-body thermogram last week, and the protocol for that was intense - there was a whole list of things I couldn't do or have for 48 hrs beforehand, and the day of, I was supposed to only have a light breakfast with nothing too hot or cold, not exercise or experience emotional stress, wear a button-down shirt, and all kinds of stuff. I've gotten so tense from having all of these protocols to follow that part of me doesn't believe I can really just show up at the cancer center every day, get zapped, and go home, and it's that "easy."

Okay, the stuff I DO have to do:
1. Apply aloe vera [some kind of lotion/cream] 3 times a day, but not within 4 hrs before treatment. And obviously, this has to be done in private - it's not like hand lotion, which you can apply at your desk at work or while walking downtown!
2. Drink extra water
3. Wear pants instead of a dress (because then wearing the gown would be even more annoying, if I didn't at least have pants on)
4. Sleep extra
5. Maybe stop drinking chickweed tea, and maybe stop taking my supplements that have antioxidants and VitC?? (Still have to find out)
6. Don't shave

Irish Mom- Sorry to hear that you had a reaction. I did read on one post awhile back that some people react, towards end of treatment, to the adhesive on the stickers. Mine itched like crazy when they first put them on me, and now the itching seems to have subsided. Hope your blisters heal up nicely.

June- I am using Tom's of Maine, and my techs were the ones who suggested it. I actually wore....hold onto your seats...... regular deodorant/antipersperant the first 5 days because I FORGOT that the alumninum might cause an issue. I had a middle of the night panic attack when I realized that I had done this, but the techs assured me that the radiation is so small and cumulative that I shouldn't have any problems associated with those 5 days. Tom's doesn't work too well for me, since I am a sweaty woman, but it's better than nothing.

Railli- I did a slam dunk for you, too. I like the association of "one down!", and it does help me feel better about the treatment. Now that everyone has basically seen my boob and my crying face, I feel like I can just sit back and let it all happen. Thankfully, the time seems to be passing quickly.  My mom came with me to treatment and our tech asked her if she wanted a "tour" of the radiation room. My mom freaked out and the tech didn't understand why. Suffice to say, my mom's had a hard time handling the fact that I've got BC...  I have also stopped taking a bunch of herbal teas (I used to take Fennel and Rosehips for IBS), mainly because I cannot tell which herbs are estrogenic. I have eliminated lavendar from all my health products because it is supposedly mildly estrogenic. Since I am opting out of Tamoxifen, I have to watch every thing going into my body!

Irish47- Purple marker.... will help definitely! I love the sensation of crossing time off the calendar for this period of life. I painted my tonails an absolutely garish shade of green this week, and I intend to wear the most radioactive, nuclear colors possible until my treatment is over. It's my small gesture of laughing at my predicament. Last week was greyish/purple, now I am absolutely green. I am planning on a black/plum color next!

AndreaS

I have continued with running, dance and yoga. Like TreadSoftly, I slather my breast with aloe gel, and I usually use a sports bra plus a tank top with shelf while I run. I am getting fatigued at this point, though, and will be honest that I was actually BEAT yesterday after I did a Vinyasa Flow class. I think my energy levels are getting drained, even 1.5 weeks into treatment. My dog has gotten walked religiously, mainly because I use the outside time to reflect and gain some peace within.

Raili and others-- Try a garden supply for the Aloe Vera plants.  If you have Trader Joes in your area, I have seen the plants there fairly often.  Whole foods or a food coop may have them as well. 

I was specifically told Toms of Maine was okay.  I have used it before and find it works well enough.  Remember that sweating isn't the bad part as much as the bacteria on your skin interacting with the sweat. Anti-perspirents deal with sweat, deordorants deal with smell by masking or inhibiting growth of bacteria or both.  If you make sure that you wash every day, you should  be fine.

I am also trying to do some exercise.  This morning, I did some stomach crunches on the floor of the dressing room ---spread out my gown and laid down on that.  I think I am going to make that a habit.  I am walking from rads to work and if I can get out of the office in time, when my appointment time changes to the middle of the day, I'll be walking both ways.  Its a little over a half mile each way but its seriously uphill to get there which I think would be most helpful. Yesterday, I got out of the office for lunch and did a walk up the hill to the library.  Not the longest but it did get my heartrate up so thats something, right?

As far as side effects and wierd dreams and the like that people are mentioning, I think we all have to remember that we are under ALOT of stress and have been, depending on when we were diagnoised for a really long time.  What we experience in the way of wacky dreams or bad memory or upset stomachs and the like is just as likely, if not more likely, to be a result of the stress as opposed to the radiation treatments.  Stress can really be debilitating and most people don't get that until they REALLY have stress in their lives, like all of us do right now. That said, we can all make it through to the other side.

My first treatment went fine yesterday...leaving soon for #2 of 33. I wasn't told not to shave but what the heck..one less thing to do!

June- I am going to Dana Farber in Milford. An easy drive. My sister lives in Shrewsbury.

Karen - congrats on finishing. 

MariannaHB - and your colour scheme made me laugh too!

I now have my first one down and 24 to go, strike one off the calender.  Along with everyone else here also doing the healthy bit with exercising (have a small home gym so no excuse), healthy eating and so on.

The only strange thing with me is that one of my tattoos disappeared/didn't take.  they used the flipping purple marker again, and when I got home, having visited my mum and done some shopping, saw a big purple slash visible through my v necked jumper:-).  And nobody said a word to me..

The light at the end of the tunnel is getting brighter - only 3 boosts remaining.  I'm very tanned, but mainly on my chest and under my breast.  The lanolin (brand name Lansinoh) works really well.  The itch is getting a little more intense, but I have a prescription for a cream.  Fatigue showed up a little later today, but I also had a busier day.

Raili, it does get easier. (I just had day 18 out of 33.) It'll fall into a kind of normal swing and you'll be in and out quickly each day.  While I have a male radiation therapist, too, he is very friendly and a friend of a friend.  Somehow he's still very professional and I've been able to just be normal with him.  Strange, because at first I thought it was bizarre that they'd have a guy in there, but it's been okay.  But there is a lady who is scheduled ahead of me that has insisted he not help with her, so he has to stay in the next room when she's in.  I think it would be perfectly acceptable to say, "I'm sorry, but I have requested not to have a male in here during my treatment," and to steadfastly, firmly, but kindly refuse until he is out.  You've talked to the oncologist, and he has talked to the staff.  They know he's not supposed to be in there.  I do know that the guy who works with me was hurt that the other lady didn't allow him to help her, but if you have a real problem with it, stick to your guns.   You / your insurance are paying a LOT for these treatments.  You should be treated well and your wishes respected.

 grama5 Yeah, that sounds like the fatigue hitting.  While it's not as bad as with chemo, it is pretty obvious once it hits!  My oncologist's nurse had said I'd have it by week 4, but some have it from week 1.  I'm in week 4, and sure enough it hit twice last week (crashed out, couldn't keep my eyes open during some movies).   Not as long or deep as with chemo, but it definitely puts me out!

Congrats fan2544 on completing your radiation treatment!  *sigh*  At our center they have a bell you ring when you finish your treatment.  A friend who recently completed her regimen says she was surprised that she got all emotional and cried when she rang the bell.  I can imagine.   Looking forward to that day (April 14)!  And I couldn't put my gown in the hamper and think of it the same way again after reading all of your 'dunking' comments!!  YES!

Another couple of reasons they don't want us shaving is because our skin is more fragile with radiation and it could break open more easily / get nicks or cuts, and because our immunities are a little lower with radiation.  If you did chemo you remember the care to not get sick.  From things I've read they don't want us getting any infections, even for a number of years after all of this!

 Hope your day goes well tomorrow, everyone!

HI ALL

Had number four today, I'm finding it very pleasant ,i to will start the SLAM DUNK  and will be thinking of all you  ladies ,my nursing team, they are  all so sweet  they bounce around having fun ,so its good energy . Im feeling a bit of pain, it feels like Ive been punched really hard in the boob its that heavy achey sharp pain and it goes up onto my shoulder it feels like its near my chest wall  any one else have this, im going for an 1 1/2 hr massage tomorrow then a pedicure yum its my "me day" then home to NO cooking dinner yeh for jojo

hang in there girls remember there is always someone worse of then yourself

KEEP WELL AND ENJOY LIFE ITS TO SHORT

JOJO

HI ladies I am going in for treatment #6 today.....I too in the very beginning had headaches and wondered if it was the rads as I also suffer from sinus headaches year round....however they have subsided and I have not had them since the 2nd treatment, they seemed to last the whole day no matter what I took to alleviate the pain....so lets pray it stays that way and they are a thing of the past........I was also told to use Toms of Maine and to wash it off before treatment as I WAS NOT doing that and was also told pure aloe Vera gel (fruit of the earth) as well.....I have been getting to bed a 1/2 hour early each night and actually sleeping through the night, so hopefully the fatigue wont set in.....

Happy slam dunk-in......

I do eat 3 or 4 squares of 85% dark chocolate as soon as I get to the car after rads... and after I had 4 vials of blood drawn, I had a big chocolate chip cookie.  (the fruit-juice sweetened kind, because I gave up sugar 2 months ago!)  I'm trying to at least be as kind and gentle to myself as I can be, but it's hard.

Another slam dunk for me today. Just completed my 8th treatment today. I missed yesterday because I was sick with stomach virus. I thought of you all when I slammed my robe into the basket!  I get a break tomorrow because the team is recalibrating the radiation machines, so it's a 3 day weekend for me! Yay!