I am freaking out! I can't catch a break

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perky
perky Member Posts: 241
edited June 2014 in IDC (Invasive Ductal Carcinoma)

I was diagnosed with IDC at the end of Jan. Since then I have been running around getting MRIs and a biopsy to the other breast.

Found out this morning that the biopsy of my left breast is clear! Yay! So back to fighting the ONE cancer in my right breast.

When I saw my doc this morning I brought up a whole laundry list of things that hurt, concern me etc. I figure if you are going to be a hypochondriac, now would be that time.

She was great, we went throught the list and crossed everything off as being normal and then did a back xray just to be on the safe side. Everyone has some back pain right? Have been in a great mood all day knowing that I was an adult and faced down any monsters in my closet.

She just called and said it is abnormal and is sending me for an MRI! OMG! She said she thinks it is just a precaution but so was my mammogram.

 It's official. I am FREAKED OUT!

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  • somanywomen
    somanywomen Member Posts: 872
    edited March 2010

    Sorry, but it does sound like she is staying on top of things...So many docs would have not even suggested that extra test....Always better to do tests as early as possible....Wishing you the best!!!

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  • poolgirl
    poolgirl Member Posts: 111
    edited March 2010

    Any one who has heard the word cancer has the right to be freaked out! It is the fear of the unknown. I also felt that way for the first six months after my diagnosis. Sorry you are going through this. Prayers and healing thoughts coming your way! Hug!

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  • YramAL
    YramAL Member Posts: 1,651
    edited March 2010

    First of all, take a deep breath........

    I had an MRI before my lumpectomy, and my surgeon told me there appeared to be some sort of abnormality(I hate that word!) a "mass" on my left kidney, but that I could wait until after my surgery to have it checked out further with an ultrasound. 

    Had my lumpectomy, tried not to think too much about my kidney issues, but it was always in the back of my mind. I had an ultrsound about 4 weeks after my surgery. Waited and waited and waited for someone to call me back......finally, after about 10 days, I called my surgeons office for my ultrasound results. The physician's assistant said, "Oh, no one ever called you back? It appears you have an accessory spleen which is a totally benign condition and 1 out of 10 people have them and they just don't know it."

    I guess my poiint is, all these tests show up things that we would not have known about otherwise, and many times, they are nothing to worry about-but of course we do. I was pissed at my surgeon for not getting back to me-it may have been nothing to her, but it sure was something to me!!

    It's easier said than done, but please try to relax and don't worry about it until it's time to worry about it.

    Mary

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  • YramAL
    YramAL Member Posts: 1,651
    edited March 2010

    Posting again because I forgot to add to my favorites.......

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  • ananda8
    ananda8 Member Posts: 2,755
    edited March 2010

    When I have blood work, an hour later the results are on my doctor's computer.  When I have a mammogram, the doctor reviews the pictures with me immediately.  When I have a sonogram, the doctor is telling me what he sees as he does it.  Where am I treated, at the VA Hospital in Little Rock.  The hospital is one of the busiest in the South treating not only older vets, but the stream of young vets from Iraq and Afghanistan.  Yet they are not too busy to be efficient. 

    I have never understood why it takes a week to read a mammogram or get standard blood test results.  Specialized tests may have to be sent out but standard test results like CBC should be available almost immediately.  Mammograms and sonogram results should be also given immediately.

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  • LINDAGARSIDE
    LINDAGARSIDE Member Posts: 345
    edited March 2010

    Perky....try not to get too over-worked about this.  I am betting your back is arthritis or a fracture or both.  The reason I say this is because I had a back ex-ray and was so shocked when they found a fracture in my spine!  Apparently this is quite common and can come from a childhood injury.  Arthritis always will form around a fracture and so they want to take a look at it all.  I was having back aches and couldn't figure out why.  Now I know.

    Also, my sister who is a nurse and has always given me the best advice of my life said this to me, "Linda, until you know you have something to worry about...don't worry about it".  For some crazy reason, using this as my mantra really helps.

    Good luck to you.  Let us know how things turn out.  Good thing you've got a doctor who is on top of things!  Let's here it for our good doctors!!  YAY!

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  • perky
    perky Member Posts: 241
    edited March 2010

    Just got a call. The MRI is scheduled for Monday at noon. I haven't been able to get anything to move fast since I have been diagnosed and this is the next day?!  I really hope it is that MRI isn't that busy and my doctor is that cool and not that whatever they see looks that serious.

    I am very concerned but I should know one way or another very soon. At least there is that.

     I also see my surgon on Monday so maybe I will feel a little better that things are finally moving forward and I will be scheduing a surgery date.

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  • Fidelia
    Fidelia Member Posts: 397
    edited March 2010

    Hey Perky,

    your surgeon sounds great and is just being thorough - as the ladies have said scans pick up more benign things than bad. At this extremely early stage your surgeon just wants to be sure you are only dealing with a single discreet lump and once that is out and you take your follow up treatment - probably hormonal in your case because of the path - you will be fine - you probably have some old injury showing up - but being thorough now means a lot less anxiety when it's all over.

    Fidelia

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  • LINDAGARSIDE
    LINDAGARSIDE Member Posts: 345
    edited March 2010

    Hi Perky...I wanted to add something else.  My surgeon decided at the last minute to give me an MRI just before my lumpectomy and node surgery.  Naturally I thought, OMG...the cancer is everywhere and they want to confirm it before the surgery!  I also got in real fast.  Not sure why that is.  Maybe the MRI machine is not something that is used as much as ultra sounds or the other type of scanning equipment?  Try not to worry too much....get lots of sleep tonight (got anything to help you sleep?)...and know that we are here for you.  Hang in there.

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  • Ezscriiibe
    Ezscriiibe Member Posts: 598
    edited March 2010

    perky, I know exactly how you feel.

    The week before my chemo started, my oncologist ordered up a bunch of scans. "standard procedure."

    They got the results back and he discussed them with me just before the infusion began.

    All my scans came back good, the head, bone, pelvis, except that the chest scan showed a couple swollen aux nodes (he thinks that is from the lumpectomy/sentinel node biopsy) and the abdominal scans came back showing 2 lesions on my liver.

    I felt like I had been kicked in the gut.

    My MRI for the liver is scheduled for Monday, too. I've been officially freaked out for 2 and half weeks now. I don't think I could bear it if the MRI doesn't come back, "Oh, just cysts."

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  • Kyta
    Kyta Member Posts: 713
    edited March 2010

    Hi Perky and Exscriiibe...wishing you both luck with your MRIs and praying for good results.

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  • ananda8
    ananda8 Member Posts: 2,755
    edited March 2010

    Perky, Ezscriibe,

    May you be well.

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  • perky
    perky Member Posts: 241
    edited March 2010

    Oh Michelle,

     I am so sorry!  We didn't sign on for this. It's bad enough to deal with BC at all, the added terror at every corner is almost more than I can handle.

    For what it's worth, with my previous medical issues I had a few CT scans of my adrenal glands and they always show cysts on my liver. They have always been there and I am told it is very common and they are nothing. They are usually found by accident and no one would look for them if you have no symptoms. My everything is crossed that the same is true for you and that you hear soon. 

     Praying for swift and happy news for all of us next week.

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  • sas-schatzi
    sas-schatzi Member Posts: 19,603
    edited March 2010

    Perky and all, I was dx'd officially last year on jan 23rd. Went through all the emotions you are going through. These forums and this site are a godsend. Best piece of advice I can give retrospectively, Is find a good counselor now. I waited six months --bad move. Start early. One of the many side effects of cancer can be depression. Caught me totally off guard. I may have just passed it over in my research at the beginning because I'd always had been strong with all the trials and tribulations of life we all go through. If you start early you have a baseline established with your counselor, and they may pick up on changes  before they become a problem.

     Not to sound whiny, but i got a phone call the same day as the bx(biopsy) from a nurse that said your dr wants you to know you have a brain tumor. That was an hour before the breast bx. Then husband dx'd(diagnosed) with lymphoma in April.  In June I realized I was depressed and immediately called a counselor, but it took three weeks for the first appointment in July. As you know all first appointments are the hardest to get going as fast as you want them.

    Had I established a relationship with a counselor earlier and had my husband join in, we would have come through better.  It's now 1yr and 2 months later, we are still going to the counselor. We will go until we are passed all the problems for several months just to be sure we are still on track.

    On Feb 13 2010 I wrote a topic called "Just diagnosed - be prepared". It's practical stuff on how to keep records and communications. Again it was retrospective things that we had learned. If you can find the topic, I promise there are somethings that will help keep you organized.

    Perky, you have this whole community behind you. If youl look at the top black toolbar,  there are sections with explanations about everything. In the discussion boards you can find topics on everything that you want answers on, from people that have gone through it and can offer advice ,support, and a shoulder to lean on . You are here now and part of us all.  Blessings and have faith.--sas

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  • chainsawz
    chainsawz Member Posts: 3,473
    edited March 2010

    I like your saying that you are facing the monsters in your closet :>  I always say you have to keep your eyes open to kill the monster....close your eyes and you may miss!  There is definitely a great chance that this is nothing.  My first CT scan showed that in addition to my lung mets, that I had a 2+cm mass on my ovary.  Turns out the ovary mass doesn't really exist....whew!!  As for the lung nodules, IMHO it is sooooo scary to find out about mets but so much better to find early.  My lung and brain mets were found early and are being treated and I have a much better chance than if they'd had time to go undetected and untreated. 

    I am going be sending good scan results to you and Ezscriiibe this week!  lisa

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  • janine151
    janine151 Member Posts: 8
    edited March 2010

    Just take a deep breath.  After I was all done with chemo and they did my final Pet/CT, they found an egg sized lump on my ovary.  I was rushed into surgery for it.  This delayed my mastectomy.  As it turns out it was just a large benign cyst.  Trust your doctor.  I couldn't believe the number of tests I went through after my diagnosis.  I hope everything goes well. 

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  • perky
    perky Member Posts: 241
    edited March 2010

    Well that concludes my first official total freak out post-diagnosis. That was awful! It was a good taste of the freak outs to come.

    My doctor just called. The MRI was clear it just showed a slipping disk (hello back pain!) and arthritis. 

    It's a good thing and is sending me to surgery with a new appreciation for how serious this all really is and how grateful I am to have a fighting chance.

    I meet with the PS next Friday and hopefully I can finally have surgery scheduled soon after that.

    Thank you ALL for your encouragement and good thoughts, it always helps.

    Now I just need to hear the Ezscriibe is breathing a big sigh of relief too.

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  • Leah_S
    Leah_S Member Posts: 8,458
    edited March 2010

    Great news!

    Though who would have thought we'd be GLAD of a dx of slipped disc and arthritis?

    Leah

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  • YramAL
    YramAL Member Posts: 1,651
    edited March 2010

    Perky-

    So glad to hear that! (Yes, it's very weird to hear that we are glad to hear about a slipped disc and arthritis!)

    Now, take a deep breath and move forward.

    Mary

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  • Kyta
    Kyta Member Posts: 713
    edited March 2010
    That's great news Perky (relatively speaking)Smile. Best of luck with the surgery and beyond:)
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  • perky
    perky Member Posts: 241
    edited March 2010

    So almost 2 weeks later, I get a voicemail from the surgeon's office saying they want to talk to me about the MRI. Of course I start freaking out again, did they find something after telling me it was fine? I call the surgeon's office and can't reach the girl that left the message and get someone else who looks it up and ominously says that only the assistant or the doctor can tell me the results. I leave another message for the assistant to call me and she does and says that only the doctor that ordered the MRI can give me the results. I said she did, it was fine. What MRI was she talking about then or was there something else? She got flustered and said she will call back. Ugh!  

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  • perky
    perky Member Posts: 241
    edited March 2010

    The assistant called back, she is having a rough time too as it turns out. It was a false alarm and the next scary call I get should be my surgery date!

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  • iHEARTu
    iHEARTu Member Posts: 213
    edited March 2010

    Oh Perky...I"m so sorry about your week and all of the confusion. I will be praying and am happy it's 'just' a slipping disk. Take care!
    -catherine :) ((hugs))

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  • sas-schatzi
    sas-schatzi Member Posts: 19,603
    edited June 2010

    so, perky you haven't posted lately. how are you doing--sheila

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  • perky
    perky Member Posts: 241
    edited July 2010

    Hi Sheila and everyone else that has been so helpful and supportive.

    I am doing well, sailed through my double mastectomy and haven't looked back. Am done with my fills and am waiting for exchange surgery.

    Right now, I am HUGE and uncomfortable but it's managable.

    The thing I have learned is you are the only one that can advocate for yourself. Most of the time we are being terrified by medical staff is because they don't know either. They don't know. Which means the odds are still in our favor.

    Also, DON'T get an MRI with your Tissue Expander in. That could be BAD!

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