Does anyone else hate the mirror?

Bless your heart, sending hugs to you. As to the stupid comments, some people just don't have a clue. Best wishes to you on your upcoming surgery and exchange.

You should be so extremely PROUD of coming through all you have dealt with, not ashamed! I hated my port with a passion, but now am rather fond of the scar as I feel it is a symbol of overcoming a really tough time (and I would tell anybody who asked exactly what it was from, in gory detail, and hopefully they would feel like the jerk that they are). As for the gray, if you don't like it; go wild, try colors you've always wanted to try but never dared (what's the worst that can happen?!). I went blonde, then a maroon red, and now a red/brown. Spend too much money on clothes and shoes, have fun with you body, celebrate being ALIVE!! Best of luck! Ruth

One whole wall in my bath is mirrors.  <<<gag>>>

Did you know: one can actually not look in mirrors?  I have learned to do that.  Honest.  I have a small mirror on a stand and sit to look in it to put on my makeup and do my hair.  I just don't ck myself out in mirrors anymore.  Ok, the one behing the sunvisor in the car.  LOL

I gained so much weight after diagnosis (and was Not skinny before!) that I ck out that my clothes are on straight and that's it.  I don't ck scars, fat, evenness, nothing.  It took a few weeks to begin this but it works for me.

Ah, Denial, what a great place to live.

Oh, sweetie, don't ever feel ashamed. We did what we did to defeat the beast so we can have our life. I can relate to not liking what I see in the mirror. I have had a bilateral mast, and a complete hysterectomy, and have had those nasty thoughts about not even being a girl anymore. But, you know I'm fighting that just as i'm fighting BC. I have colored my hair, I've bought new clothes with lots of accessories. (my old clothes were getting to tight anyway). I feel the need to dress as girly as possible. Shallow, I know, but that helps me to feel better about the way I look now. Also, check out the clinique counter. They can give you wonderful make up tips. I hate how this messes with how we feel about ourselves.

((( HUGS )))

Susie

I am not real fond of mirrors anymore - when I stand in front of them and I see all the battle scars I am thankful that I am still here to be able to see my reflection - and that is a good thing! 

I think I am like Journey, but I didn't have recon ... so I'm still flat on one side. I think I'm okay with that, now.

I was thinking about the "mirror hatred" as I stood in front of the mirror, combing my hair after my shower this morning.  There was a time when I found it really hard to look at myself in the mirror.  That time was during chemo, when my hair was gone and I looked like a bald scarecrow.  Unlike many of my sisters here, my bald head turned out to be odd-shaped and would never have passed for "elegant" or "strong" if left uncovered.  I left it uncovered anyway while at home.  Just lazy, I guess.

I also didn't like what I saw in the mirror back then (or in photos of myself) because I truly looked sick, and also very sad.  Fortunately, that's not the case anymore.  I'm long past chemo (last tx was June 2008), so my hair has grown back, my color has returned, I'm feeling good (except for Arimidex aches and pains) and I'm pretty much "me" again.

Still, there's that flat-chest thing.  Hmmm....  My mast scar is nearly invisible now.  It's just a thin, white line against my pale pink skin.  My chest is absolutely flat on that side, thanks to the skills of my breast surgeon.  So, what I see in the mirror is a size 34A/B boob on one side, and on the other side, ... nothing.  The other one seems to have vanished.  Been wiped away, like with Photoshop.  It's just not there.

Lately (after many months of contemplation), when I see my one-sided flatness, my reaction is, "Oh!  A headlight's out!".  And I realize that I am okay.  But, it does take time to get to this point.

Hugs...

otter

So many of us feel the same. I avoid the mirror as much as possible. I hate what I see so I try not to look. This second round of bc has changed me so much....not just physically but also emotionally and it's not fun.

Hi - I am new here and usually hang out with the Stage IV group but couldn't resist replying to your post because when I saw the topic I felt like you were talking directly to me.   I am fairly new in my treatment process since I was just diagnosed in January but do already have a lumpectomy scar, scars from the port in my chest, and 3 days ago I shaved my head following my first round of chemo.  The hardest time for me is when I am getting ready to get in the shower at night and take off my wig.  Last night being the 3rd night was a little easier but I still had tears in my eyes.  During the day I love my new look and am enjoying never having a bad hair day thanks to my wigs, plus now I am always the first one ready but since I can't shower with the wig on that is when I have to face reality. My husband has been great and said that my new "look" makes him love me more than ever but it is still hard for me to have him see me this way.  I run around making the room as dark as possible before getting into bed but once I get tired of stubbed toes every night I will have to start acting a little more normal.

I loved the suggestion above about taking off glasses, I think a new improved blurry vision of ourselves might be in order.

Thank you for posting such a timely topic and reminding me that I am not in this alone.