MARCH 2010 Rads Group

Denise, so sorry for your family's loss.  I am sending prayers for peace to you.

Raili, i have 2 tattoos (not counting the ones I got for rads) and yes they hurt!  The one I have on my ankle was the most painful.  And no lidocaine, you just grit your teeth and bear it.  

I finished #5 today.  I haven't noticed any effects yet, but my tech said I probably won't notice anything until about week 3.  I'm glad to get a little break from feeling sick and tired!

Peace,

Shelby 

Happy Friday everyone. So glad the weekend's here. I have finished with week 1 of RADS and am happy to cross it off my calendar. Only 5.5 weeks left now. I feel a real sense of relief knowing that the time will pass quickly.  My mom flew in to visit me, and will help out as the fatigue starts in. I hate to say it, but I am feeling it already and I am at the end of week 1. Someone else described it perfectly.... it's a dull, slight fatigue starting around 7pm. I have been going to bed very early as well (for me-- around 9pm).

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend. Sending peace and good wishes to all of you!

Hi All!

Finished #15 out of 28 yesterday and still the skin is holding up.  It looks like a tan on my chest so it's not too bad! 

I don't have any lines like some of the later ladies described but my radiation field is quite large - from my neck (just under chin) to my ribs and from mid chest to shoulder blade.

As for holding breath - I asked my techs and rad onc about it and they said not to.  So I am thinking of my happy place and breathing normally while I lay there.

Yes the room is cold but they put a sheet over me after they've marked me up and that helps.

Sugar I bought some undershirts at Cosco - Calvin Klein I think.  They don't have any shelf bra but are more like "wife beaters".  They are very comfortable to wear and when needed I wear my bra and prosthetic over the undershirt.

I have tried wearing the ones with the shelf bra but the elastic bugs me now.

Those of you that can still wear your bras are so lucky!

I'm going totally braless most days - I did try wearing my no underwire bra with prosthetic directly on my skin in the early days of radiation but the band of the bra was very irritating and I didn't want any blisters or breaks on the skin.  So now I go braless or wear the understhirts.

I saw the rad onc before my radiation tx on Thursday and told him that my jaw clenching was easing off but I was still having trouble sleeping (now I'm waking up to see if I'm clenching or not!) and I'm still feeling stressed. He suggested that if I wanted I could speak to a counsellor.  They have them at the place where I go and it's free.  I told him that I am doing ok - have a great online support group and lots of friends to talk to.  Besides adding another appt to my schedule would only increase my stress!!

So he gave me some Atavan to help me sleep better and help me relax before bedtime.  When I went into the treatment room the techs read my report and asked me if I needed the atavan for the radiation treatments.  I told them no that the time I spend laying on the table for radiation is the most relaxing of my day and I needed the atavan because I have teenagers! 

My husband said that if we can get the kids to take the Atavan then I wouldn't need them!

Well I'm refilling my hot tub and doing other "spring" stuff around my house - better go check to make sure it hasn't overflowed!

Later...

Marie

Sherri - no tub for me during radiation either.  I'm just doing the grunt work today!

My first radiation day was horrible.   It wasn't EVEN radiation...it was the simulation, where they just take films.  But 15 mins before my appointment, while I was eating lunch in the car, I cracked a tooth - for the 3rd time in less than a year and a half.  I have already had 5 root canals (and I'm only 31), and the thought of having a 6th - in the middle of radiation treatments, no less - made me just start crying.  I ended up crying all the way through rads, partly because of my tooth, and partly because I just hate being there, hate the machine, hate having to get burned on purpose.  I'm feeling bitter because I never had any pain or symptoms from the cancerous tumor and had probably been living with it for years, so happy & healthy & oblivious.  And now, it is only the cancer TREATMENTS that make me feel awful... and that makes me resentful.  I know that's weird and illogical, because had I left the cancer untreated, it would have eventually caused pain and symptoms.  But illogical or not, it's what I'm feeling right now...

So after I cried my way through radiation, I got home to find my landlord waiting in the driveway so he could verbally attack me over things that are not at all my fault.  I gave him 5 weeks' notice that I was moving out, in order to move closer to the hospital where I'd be having my daily radiation treatments for cancer, but he is so heartless he doesn't care - he's now trying to evict my roommate and blaming it all on me, threatening to not give me my security deposit back after I move out unless my roommate moves out, too, despite the fact that I've never done anything wrong and I have an email from him from last month saying "You have been a good tenant."  So why he flew off the handle at me yesterday, I have no idea. I was already so beaten down from the cracked tooth and radiation that all I could do was run into my apartment and cry some more.

Raili et al.,

A nice walk and one day at a time attitude are excellent!

A couple of points that I hope will help:

1. Radiation is generally a bad thing to be exposed to, but ... it really can be effective against cancer.  It splits DNA bonds and kills cells.  Normal cells are quite good at repairing themselves but cancer cells cannot get their act together.  Even if they try to mount a repair effort they cannot sustain it over the whole course of treatment, so the radiation kills off all kinds of cells but the normal cells can regroup and repair.

2. If that does not help, go for escape.  While you are lying on the table try meditation, visualization, or prayer, whatever works for you.  Music is good, too, on an ipod or your own CD on their system.  Just make sure it does not have a beat that makes you want to move your body.  Think Bach, debussy, Mozart, or New Age.  During the simulation (which is much longer and more difficult than daily treatments), I visually travelled to many of my favorite places and along my favorite bicycling route.  When the rad onc and therapist came back into the room to start marking I felt like I was travelling back from far away.

Hi all

Railli- I totally relate to your tooth pain, feeling plagued by the fact that you were happily living your life while a breast cancer is growing inside, to only have side effects through the treatment. It's really like a big kick in the teeth to be told (after you've been living a clean, healthy life for many years) that you have breast cancer. I eat "clean", buy organic as much as possible, breast fed 3 babies, exercise like a nut, and generally embrace good living. So, yes, it's a big letdown to find out that the treatments will cause undue stress. I consider this time my sacrifice for a healthier future. I do freak out about it coming back, but have to try to keep myself in check. They found it early, the docs will treat me, and I will be back on my feet. As for the landlord, he can shove it. That's the least of your worries right now, and hoping you don't let it get you down.

Redsox- like your visualization idea. Whenever I get blood drawn, I think of my eldest son when he was 2 years old. I must have taken him to the park one day, and he ran around, giggling, looking back at me. For some reason, that image sticks with me, and it's my "happy place."

AndreaS- good idea on the seedlings. Best way to mark the time while it passes. Hopefully it's something organic you can consume when it's all over.

Sugar77- Are we not supposed to wear underwires? I forgot to ask that of my team at my hospital, but I've been wearing mine. For the first time, my left breast really didn't feel good on Saturday night. I've had 5 rad treatments, and I wore a shirt to sleep in-- it was chafing me, and it was really uncomfortable. I might have to get an undershirt that's really soft and clingy to help with that. And, potentially bras that don't have underwire!

I joined an organic co-op and got my first shipment of organic,locally grown produce yesterday. Mind you, I am so tired today that cooking it isn't the first thing on my mind, but I am going to enjoy finding recipes and eating all the veggies. Eating even more clean is one of the only ways I've been able to feel "in control" during this voyage.

Whew, okay, so need to lie down and rest a bit before my kids come home from a bday party..... so I can cook up some of my vegetables!

MaryAnn

Sugar,

I don't know if they all allow ipods but they do need you to relax.  Just tell them you are nervous and need the music to help you relax.  That should be enough.

Thanks for the info and advice, Julie and redsox.

MaryAnn, thanks for all of your support/words of encouragement!  I'm like that, too - I was vegetarian for 9 years, eat lots of organic/local veggies, do yoga and exercise regularly, never smoke/drink/do drugs, maintain a healthy weight, get plenty of sleep, laugh a lot, have a great social network, use natural bodycare and cleaning products, ETC... STILL got cancer.  I try not to go the "WHY MEEE?!" route, because it's pointless... can only move forward...one day at a time.  

I love your "happy place" idea... 

As for comfy undershirts/bras, I recommend WinterSilks - I just got two silk camisoles for about $16 each, which I think is a great price for silk.  

I'm tempted to try bringing my iPod tomorrow, but I don't want it to break for anything...yikes.

Sugar, I'll be thinking about you in the morning, too...we can do this!

Hi girls - Good luck to everyone who is starting and for those who have started I hope the week goes by fast.  I have had 8 treatments so far.  The center I go to has a no-cell/no electronic policy sign in the waiting area.  My breast has a "sunburn" so far.  My oldest daughter was home for spring break and said Mom your getting so mauch color while your walking - as soon as she said that she realized what she said.  I ended up going on Cipro for a breast infection.  The doctor said its not a radiation side effect but the radiation probably brought the infection to the surface, it was probably there already.  Who knows. Have a great week to everyone.

Kathy

Hi, I was on the Jan thread but then couldn't do rads because my incision didn't close. It has taken 2 months for it to heal up so I could do rads Now I am 8 down and 25 to go, last three being boosts. So far no trouble at all. Yes I do feel the tingling during and after the treatment. My breast is definatly warmer than the other side but cooled off over the week end. I had blood drawn last monday for cell count and will again half way through and again at the end. Also will see onc and nuse each monday. Radiation still scares the heck out of me but I also don't want a reaccurence. I worry about lymphademia and the fact that they cannot miss you lung completly Hello to every one on this thread and I will be keeping up with you all through this phase we find ourselves in

Flo

Hello Everyone.

One more to go for me then done. Long weeks for sure but still standing!

Keep the faith everyone and soon enough you will be where I am and I wish you the very best.

hugs

Had my first treatment today.  It went suprisingly fast.  I was in and out of there in 15 minutes.  I did feel some slight warmth after the treatment, but not real bad and it subsided in a few hours.  The oncology nurse told me to use  Vitamin E oil and Jeans Cream which I dutifully put on in the changing room right after my treatment.  I will use this, and the 100% aloe gel, 3 or 4 times a day and HOPEFULLY won't get too fried.  We shall see.  Only 29 more treatments to go!  Good luck to everyone :-)