1.5 years later

Hi Rio, welcome to the club of NORMAL.  We have all been where you are now and there are even some books about it nowadays.  Should is a word I don't believe is a necessary part of our vocabulary at this or any point after diagnosis.  It's a negative word to me and presents multiple opportunities for guilt.  I have learned, over a lot of time, that I had to quit beating my head against the wall simply becaue it felt so good when I stopped.

May I say, that unless you are in line for counseling, as many of us are/were, the ans. is Time.  I know, I know, that's not advice you wanted to hear and it's not tangible and something we can put on a list and check off, like pick up the cleaning. 

Now is the time that your brain is not taken up with all the treatment aspects of bc and WHAM!! all of a sudden you have time to actually wrap your head around the fact that you have had freekin' BREAST CANCER!.  So now you have time to think about it and worry about it, and think of all the 'what if's' and maybe's, etc.  And top it off, your family, no matter how great they are, are thrilled that it's all over.  So, what about pork chops for supper?  And there you are at 2 AM worried about recurrance and everything else, besides a new body.  Alone.

But!!!  You are not alone, kiddo, WE are here.  And we've all been there.  Even if the tshirt didn't fit, we bought it.  It will take some more time, a lot of talking with those who have actually walked in your shoes and forgiveness to those who have not and therefore cannot undersand what you are feeliing or trying to get thru.

You have now learned that the light at the end of the tunnel is not an oncomming train.  You just have to learn how to walk from the tunnel into the sunlight and begin to learn to LIVE and enjoy your life from now on.  And you Will.

(((gentle hugs))) and, again, welcome to the Normal Club.

Hi there, Rio.  I'm about 2 years out from my mastectomy, everything going fine, but I have my annual mammogram next week, plus I recently realized I can't get life insurance, so bc is kind of back in my face and I find myself coming back to these discussion boards looking for company!  My life wasn't normal before bc, as I had a 2 year old, my first child, and my husband and I were still reeling from that blessed life disruption, but it definitely isn't "back to normal" and I'm getting that this is just what it is, the new normal.  Except I hope I can get rid of my flabby gut and the depression that stalks me.  One day I might have reconstruction but I've been feeling that I would rather have a missing breast than to go through another surgery. 

I'll stop before I ramble on too much, got to go get ready for work.  Anyway, I wanted to say hi to someone.  Thanks for the wise words, Iodine!