Depression 1 month after mastectomy

Hi everyone -

I hope you all had good days!

I was really sore this morning when I woke up and it lasted all day. I did take half a pain pill around lunch, it did not even touch the pain. I think it is because of the way I have my computer set up and the key board.  You would think a desk job, no pain!  I now completely understand the weak arms and frustrated with not being able too do much.  I am the lucky one, I do not have to lift my arms for work like Robin and Tammy.  

I set a goal at the beginning of the week to try for a full work week - WHEW I hope I make it through tomorrow.

Olivia 

Tammy,

A four day week, sounds like that was your solution to the Dr you hired that had to leave super early. That is a good idea and probably helps give you extra time to rest up and actually enjoy one of your days off.  

I have to agree when we share a symptom it is a relief to know that it is normal in our healing process. I agree I do not want anyone to have anymore pain but also good to know we are normal.

I used to take motrin 800mg like it was a vitamin, a few years back. My new primary physician told me I had to stop because of my one kidney. I have to stick to tylenol which is not nearly as effective but it is worth saving the kidney. 

I did try to take a few breaks from the computer but still sore. I did not use the computer at all last night, trying to give myself a small break.  

We are preparing for testimony before the House and Senate committee's in the upcoming weeks. It is a crazy time because we have to write the testimony, prepare the background papers (really update them because we use them all year long) and then try to figure out, based on the members of Congress who will be at the Hearing, what trick questions they may ask.  I always call that part of the process, stump the dummy. I know it does not sound very nice but it seems like some members of these Committees try to ask the witness some obscure question you know they can not answer.  Oh well, I am the one this year to try and figure out the obscure questions - I actually enjoy trying to figure that out, yes, I am an official geek!!

Olivia 

Jennifer,

How are you doing??

Olivia 

Oh, Olivia....you did not, YOU did not, you DID not, you did NOT, YOU DID NOT bring this on yourself and you know it....bless your heart.  You didn't need that.  I know you love your parents dearly, and that just had to hurt.  All you want is support.   I know that's how I feel, but I haven't gotten a whole lot from my mom either, unfortunately.  She just doesn't "get" it.  It's weird.

Try not to be down (easier said than done, I know!!) ....you are wonderful, you are smart, you are beautiful, you are blessed, you are a survivor AND a conqueror, and you have a husband and daughter who love you and treasure you....and a Heavenly Father who adores you

blessings, my friend...will be praying especially for you tonight.....robin

Thanks for the encouragement! Today was not so good but it is over and I am home.  

Not sure if you have followed the controversy over the Federal Employee pay for performance problems, most people who are not impacted, could care less and if it did not impact me I would be in the same boat. However, I learned as we transition back to our old evaluation system, some of us will not retain our grade, but our pay. I know this is probably foreign but in the big picture, grade is often more important than pay.  I will be one month shy of earning my top grade which impacts my future retirement pay.  All in all I am surrounded by some very obnoxious, unqualified individuals.  It is quite frustrating and a long story that probably would bore most people - just added to the down mood today.  

I had an appt with the plastic surgeon today and my husband could not take me. I know I am spoiled he takes me to most appt's so I do not have to drive and can go back to work without too much strain on my left side - yes I know I am spoiled but I love it!!!!  So my parents took me, UGH!! My mother is a treat, she liked my slacks but thought I should have on a different jacket and blouse. When we got back in the car she asked me if I had a treatment - what?? A treatment, what does she think I go to the PS for?? a botox fill??? I am so confused by her, I just ignored it and did not answer. I was still stinging from the night before. I think I have had my fill (and not a botox one)of her for the week!!  

Okay, now on to the food we all need to eat. The explanation is very clear. The body processes hormones and sometimes they get caught in a cycle that keeps them in the body longer then necessary. Some foods can help move the hormones we produce to a good result and breakdown and not allow them to stagnate and create havoc. 

The list of foods that help ER+/PR+ and keep the hormones processing in a positive way:

Cruciferous Vegetables - cauliflower, broccoli, chinese kale, chinese cabbage, bok choy, brussel sprouts, kale, mustard greens - we should eat some of these 3-4 times per week.

Rosemary - fresh rosemary - she suggested cooking with it a few times a week

Flax seed - one to three tablespoons of ground flaxseed everyday - YUK!!

Salmon - Alaskan or wild not Atlantic

Folic Acid - I guess we could take that as a pill form but make sure that other B vitamins that work with folic acid are taken as well as B6 and B12

Thyroid function is really important (this is the most exciting to me because increasing my metabolism is a fabulous thought). She suggested I read www.ryandrum.com, and order powdered kelp and take/sprinkle 1/2 tsp on food three times per week. She said that the seaweed he sells is pure and not full of mercury which is important.

So she wants me to increase my variety of food over the next five weeks, include the above items in my diet and see her the end of April.  

Let me know what you think!

Olivia 

Hey, Olivia and Tammy...I noticed we all are ER+/PR+...do you all happen to know your percentages????  I know I'm ER+90% and PR+60%.....thanks for all the info, Olviia....looks like I'll be making more modifications in my diet.  I just found out last week that my cholesterol is high, so I'm SUPPOSED to be on a low-fat, low-cholesterol diet and exercising more (RIGHT!!)....

I don't fry or anything, but I do fix casseroles fairly often and cook one dish meals a lot, and use my crock pot a lot.  I don't use processed foods or stuff like that.  We eat lots of veggies, and the darker in color, the better.....

My vit D, was very low, so I'm having to take extra supplements for that too.  Man, how will I ever get everything in I need???? sigh.

Oh, Olivia...you poor, dear.  Our parents just don't know how much they hurt us....and our kids don't know how muc they hurt us either....I feel like I'm constantly trying to walk on a fine line - trying to make everyone happy.  Try as much as you can - to let what your mom say go in one ear and out the other.  She probably has NO clue how much what she says hurts you.  Just like when my mom told me that my breasts were so little that I wasnt' missing much with them being gone and how it wasnt' any big deal to just put "those things" in my bra like some of her friends have to do.....argh!!!!

AND I hope and pray that this one month being away doesn't mean you won't advance to your new top grade - but it kind of sounds like it.  That would be SO unfair     (but it seems like so much lately has been so unfair....sigh)

Tammy, praying your arm muscles are getting stronger by the day...

Jennifer - news from you???????

blessings....robin

Jennifer,

Hello are you there???

Olivia 

Tammy,

I used to love what I do but not for the past 8 months.  We are not totally dependent on my income but fun stuff would have to be cut back! I would prefer a smaller house and still fun stuff!!  That is what makes great memories 

Hello ladies I am back and feeling pretty good. I had my surgery last Tuesday. I went to see the ps on Monday and he removed 2 of the 4 drains. I have another appt with him tomorrow so hopefully he removes the other 2. I went to see the surgeon yesterday to review the pathology reports though some are some are still pending. After all I feel that I made the right decision to go ahead with the bi-lateral. They a 4 mm spot of cancer that was invasive. I am scheduled to see the medical oncologist on April 2 to see if I will need any other treatment. The surgeon told me that he is not sure what the medical ocologist will suggest. Hopefully i will not need chemo but we shall see.

Please keep me in your prayers.

Jennifer

Good Morning All -

Jennifer, you are in my prayers!!!

Yes another breast biopsy on the right side, UGH, I should have just gone ahead and had a double. The oncologist called me Wednesday evening around 9:00 p.m., I was shocked but I guess she wanted to give me the good news and then said she would discuss the rest of my results at our next appt, like I don't know what that means. I am BRAC - so that is good for my nieces. It really does not matter for me because I have already had ovarian cancer 6 years ago, it was caught very, very early because I had a great Dr who was listening to me when I said something is not right. So now I guess it is just a coincidence I have BC.  I did find out my body will not absorb the first choice of drugs from the oncologist. I did not even know they could do that kind of test.  That was the end of her good news.

Yesterday, I took a walk with my dog and made my husband a healthy dinner. He enjoyed it more than me. I think mainly because I made it.  He was thrilled I did not march upstairs, crawl in bed and pull the covers over my head!!  

I hope everyone has a great day today - it is cold and rainy in DC

Olivia 

Jennifer, 

Do you have your drains out??  

I have my biopsy scheduled for April 6th. It will be uneventful I am sure. The Dr does the biopsy, he says things to the PA in a language I don't know and then I will wait.  I thought it would be good news as well to be BRAC- but she said since I already had the ovarian cancer it was really about me passing it on. So good news for my nieces.  

Good night all

Olivia