January Mastectomy

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  • binga
    binga Member Posts: 140
    edited March 2010

    Hi everyone,

    It is so reassuring to read all your posts and know that we are going thru alot of the same things.  

    Gina-I am so sorry for all you have been going thru and am saying a special prayer for you.  I can't imagine how hard it has been and I pray you will have the strength to just hang in there and keep doing whatever you feel is right for you at this time.

    I went for a fill on Tuesday and told my PS that I was pretty sure it was the last one for me.  I am over this.  Anybody else fill this way? I am so tired of being uncomfortable.  Although I had aspirations of being a little bigger than before I like the size I am now (was small to begin with) and hope that the exchange will keep me around this size. I really just want to get back to my life and quit constantly being reminded of my foobs.  I hope the exchange will really be as good as I hope at helping me feel normal again.  I know it won't change the numbness but I hope they will feel enough like real breasts that I can eventually accept them as the new me.  Like some of you other gals I miss the old me too!  I spent the majority of the time crying everyday week before last.  NOT good!  I have felt better this week emotionally and really think the fact that I have decided this is enough with the fills has helped with that.

    Thanks so much for all of you with your prayers and inspiration!  I don't know how I would make it without you all!

    Becky 

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  • bcincolorado
    bcincolorado Member Posts: 5,758
    edited March 2010

    Gina:  My heart breaks for you right now.  I know it is a risk of surgery with TE and  you will have a long road ahead.  I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers and may you heal better and faster than anyone thinks is possible!

    Kat and Marianne:  I'm so jealous you can sleep on your side!  I can't sleep on my surgical side at all yet...just the non-surg side and my back.  And of course the tamox makes me wake up all night long anyway.

    Faithandfifty:  LOVE the daisy post!  Reminds me of my daughter too who loves daisies and had them at her wedding (even on the wedding dress!)

    Sallly:  Thanks for support and the wonderful post.  I know it helps to know other people actually can understand your feelings of loss and sadness and anger and frustration and still cheer on others and count our own blessings too!

    Paula:  Laughter is great medicine!  In case anyone doesn't know about this site yet I read about it in a cancer mag:  http://www.comedycures.org/  There are jokes every day and short and clean and fun.

    Robin:  Don't feel guilty about just taking down Christmas decorations.  I didnt' even have the energy to put them up!  My husband, who is disabled, did them since I was recovering from a lumpectomy the week of Thanksgiving.  I did at leat have a little help taking it down but had kids home to help (they're grown).  My own mother left her tree up one year until Mothers' Day!  Not because she was sick or anything...just got too busy with other things!  We have to set our priorities!

    Becky:  I know I heard a lot of women decide when they are done with their fills.  My PS said I would be done when either I said so or he decided that was it.  I'm definitely not "even" right now, but he swears it really won't be up to my collar bone when the exchange is done. :)

    My own personal victory was driving again today!  I didn't scare my husband driving to the post office and got my driving priveldges back!  Woo Hoo!

    My everyone continue to heal and recover and be on the way to a NORMAL life again soon!

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  • Lynbob
    Lynbob Member Posts: 140
    edited March 2010

    I saw my OB/Gyn on Friday. Looks like I will be having more surgery in June to remove the enlarged ovary. She said if I had been post menapausal she would have wanted to remove it right away because of how large it is. She was comfortable waiting a few months to allow me to recover from the exchange surgery. She ordered a CA-125 (should have results first of the week) and another transvaginal ultrasound in June. Ugh. At this rate I won't have any girlie parts left at all! lol

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  • bookart
    bookart Member Posts: 564
    edited March 2010

    Gina  - a friend of mine lost her first reconstruction to infection but was able to do a second one and now is in great shape.  So I hope it all works out for you.

    I get to go for my TV ultrasound mid-April.  My gyn wants to check out my "girlie" parts - I don't think I'm a candidate to remove yet, but we'll see.  Maybe ablation? but with biopsy - oh, goodie, more owie parts!

    I'm seeing a PT/LT who is showing me manual lymph drainage (I have exercise- related edema and I'm worried about lymphedema) and exercises to build up my tone again.  My chest is sore from massaging the scars - pretty bloomin' tender.  But my biggest problem going back to work was my aching legs - I wasn't used to being up and around that much. 

    I have to adjust my usual schedule to work in exercise - I'm pretty much a slug except for work-related physical work.  This is one way that I've got to change my daily habits.  Part of me wants my life to go back to the way it was - I liked my life.  Part of me (a much smaller part) is reluctantly moving forward into a new life - I'm not quite ready to call it MY new life.  Give up SUGAR?  My only vice?  Argh!  Exercise, which I find boring?  Yuck!  Take vitamin D, which gives me leg cramps (go figure)?  Can't I just sit in the sun and eat bon bons?  At least I'll be getting my D!  Whine, whine, indeed!

    I sure enjoy this thread.  I like keeping up with my January sisters.  Take care, and blessings on you all.

    Elaine

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  • jizogarden
    jizogarden Member Posts: 375
    edited March 2010

    Morning all,

    Donna and Kat...we all have the same surgery date and we are all on such a different schedule as far as our fills go.  Donna 550cc's, Kat 350cc's and me at a wee 200+ cc's....so tomorrow I will be brave and listen to my PS and see how much he feels these tight boobs will take ;)  Donna if your at 550cc's I guess I shouldn't worry about bursting :)  So with renewed confidence I will go in tomorrow morning and come out a little closer to the other side of all of this.....

    Robin I managed to get the Christmas decorations down just before my surgery but the boxes are still in the guest room and the Christmas lights still are strung across my fence and over the garden gate.  I will make it my goal to get all the lights down this week :)  I haven't heard pooped to pop from anyone other than my family.....my dad used to say that all the time....brought back a memory for me...

    Gina I hope today is a better than yesterday and each day heals you and gives you strength....

    The rain has moved away from NY so we are happy and lucky to still have power and our dog Smudge is happy to go outside without getting drenched :) 

    I hope everyone  find strength and hope in the day....... 

    All the best,

    Laura 

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  • TNgolfer
    TNgolfer Member Posts: 253
    edited March 2010

    Christmas always has such wonderful memories and feelings attached to it -- I say leave the decorations up!  We all could use Christmas all year!  Now, I'm sorry I took mine down (and the only reason they are down is because I took them down before surgery!)

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited March 2010

    Lynn I am so sorry you are going thru this.  After everything you and the other ladies here have been through, you don't need this. BUT, you can do it and we are all here for you.

    Gina I am still thinking of you and hope that you are recovering. One step at a time.

    I have been trying to adjust to my "new life" and make some adjustments. Aside from not being able to wear whatever I want when I want, which has been the biggest challenge right now, but looking forward to that changing real soon (May). I guess the timing of my surgery was good because due to it being in the winter I have been able to layer up my clothes hiding everything. Now it is getting warmer, so somewhat more challenging.  I do have the prothesis but I find them heavy and I get warm wearing them. Not sure if the warm is hot flashes? hmmmmm menopause now as well? I read somewhere else on the boards a lady who said she is the cause of global warming.  I got a good chuckle out of that. I am trying to tell myself that there are some benefits to having delayed reconstruction, in that I will appreciate my "new foobs" that much more when I get them. I was talking to my sister yesterday who said she is trying to be more aware of and appreciate her breast to understand better what it is like for me not to have them. She said since she started thinking like this, she has a totally different appreciation for them and how much she takes them for granted as well as what she wears.  I had another friend who when I tried to explain to her what it is like not to have breast, tell me it is what is in the inside that defines us as human beings, not what we look like on the outside. Inner beauty. hmmmmmm this coming from someone who has had botox injections to get rid of age lines and permanent eyebrow tatoos.

    I did recently pick up the book "Anti Cancer", haven't started reading it yet, but I should.  Otherwise I have given up diet pop, sugar substitute, never did drink much to begin with, but drink even less now, stopped smoking last year, eating more broccoli. I am going to ask my oncologist what else I could/should be doing, he is really into certain foods you can eat to help prevent recurrence of cancer.

    Enjoy the day everyone.  Spring is almost here!

    Cathy

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  • KatRNagain92
    KatRNagain92 Member Posts: 522
    edited March 2010

    Here it is March and I'm such a Ba Humbug!  We had Christmas Decorations up for a nano-second.  Seriously.  We put them up around December 20th and took them down on the 29th.  Yesterday, I opened up the house and put out my spring decorations.  Just need a flower arrangement now for the table and I'll be all set.  I'm glad that spring is in the air (well except for this damn time change) and I am getting excited to go back to work tomorrow.  Hopefully, Spring will put a whole new persepective on things.  I think it will!  :)

    Thanks for the recipe Marianne....I would like to do something for her very soon (if not today) but I don't really know her and I don't want to overlap with her family etc.  This group has been such a great support...family and friends are support too, they just don't understand truly what you're going through...you women do though and that's what makes it work. 

    I've been reading the posts here lately and I've decided that I like this new me.  I think I'm stronger and calmer and wiser.  I can look back on the 'me' when I was 30 and I really miss that me too...but guess what?  That's not me!  This is me....and I'm still me!   I am reaching the place where I can look at this experience as positive and an opportunity to continue to do better and be a better me.  Cancer just isn't that strong to take those things away. 

    Good luck on the Arimidex too Marianne.  This Tamoxifen is fine.  I have really no issues with it...it even makes me sleepy so I take it around 8pm.  I called in for my estradiol levels and they were at 250 (<30 indicates the onset of menopause) This was prior to me starting the tamoxifen...I see the onc again on Friday so will see if she will draw another level....this will be at my one month mark.  I would like to know that the free estrogen just floating around (and there certainly seemed to be quite a bit of it) is getting corralled to where it's supposed to go...

    Good luck tomorrow Brenda! 

    Have a great rest of your weekend everyone.
    Kat

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  • ReginaR
    ReginaR Member Posts: 287
    edited March 2010

    Good Morning My Sweet Jan Friends, Thanks for all great post! I am so weak after this last surgery Tues( Infection & had to remove my TE)I feel like a mack truck hit me.I can not get  my energy back. I hate feeling like this! I was 6 week post -op now i back to being 1 week on Tues.

    My main concern is my legs, back of my calks or so sore. I hope I didn't devlope a blood clot while in hospital bed 1 week, Or could it just be The Tamoxifen causing  my back Calf pain? I see my surgeon  mon & oncocogist Tues.But wanted your opioin!

    Have any of you on "T" having back calf pain! I been on T since feb 12th.

    I hope you all are having a good weekend!

    (((Hugs))) to my pink pals!  Gina

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  • pbebow
    pbebow Member Posts: 575
    edited March 2010

    ROCK ON KAT!!!   I love what you said about the new me...  You're right, this is who we are now, and I too am trying to see the positive in it and make this new me a better, stronger me!  I know that it has changed my whole outlook on life... some things jus seem so un-important now... like why did I used to get so worked up over silly little things.  I'm trying to focus on what's important now, like family and friends.  Anyway, just wanted to pop on and agree with you.

    Everyone else, have a wonderful Sunday and enjoy the extra hour of daylight today!

    Paula

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  • neversurrender
    neversurrender Member Posts: 508
    edited March 2010

    I was a grinch this year with my decorations.  I usually decorate the weekend before Thanksgiving and leave it until 2nd week of January.  This year, because things were so up in the air in late Nov/Dec, I only put up a few things.  Then Dec26, we took everything down.  My poor kids, they were so sad.  Not to mention our cat, who lives in our Christmas tree from the moment we put it up.  I actually took all the decorations off of the tree on the 26th, but left it sit bare for another week or so - my kids and cat guilted me into it :)

    Cathy - Your recon is going to be in May, correct?  Do you have a date yet?  Have you decided on DIEP or another method?

    {{{Gina}}} - I will continue to keep you in my thoughts.

    My PS has scheduled my next appt for late March.  At that appointment, we should be able to schedule my surgery for phase 2 - it should be early April.  I am excited about this, but dreading another surgery (although this will be a short one).    I'm not sure how long after phase 2 surgery I will have to wait to do the nipples.  How long after exchange surgery do you have to wait to get them?

    {{{{hugs to all}}}}

    Sally 

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  • frosty1
    frosty1 Member Posts: 420
    edited March 2010

    Looks like this is the week of minor setbacks.  I'm calling them minor even tho they feel major.  It is a mental mindset.  Hugs and daffodils to all of you!  I bought bunches of daffodils this week and they have really lifted my spirits.

    Had a great "Hair Today ... Wig Tomorrow" party last night.  I even stayed up to 11pm!  Lots of friends over and many wore wigs.  I changed mine out over the course of the evening and ended with my 1/4" new hair-do.  My dad (who shaved his head) thought we looked alike, so took a picture. 

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  • KatRNagain92
    KatRNagain92 Member Posts: 522
    edited March 2010

    Gina, blood clots are nothing to wait around for.  If you are having symptoms like redness (or purple discoloration) and they're warm or hot to the touch (use the back of your hand to feel) and it hurts to stand on your tippy toes then you need to be seen.  (DO NOT RUB YOUR LEGS) It's unusual that you would have a DVT (deep vein thrombosis) in both legs but not un-heard of.  I would call your PS or your BS and ask him what he wants to you to do. 

    Hang in there and don't cross your legs!

    Kat

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  • burley
    burley Member Posts: 631
    edited March 2010

    Went to a party last night-the second since surgery and the first since chemo...got a few too many manly hugs from the guys, but not enough to shift these puppies around so they feel better!

    Of course, the topic turned to me and how I'm doing...my loss of hair...side effects from chemo.  I was embarrassed talking about all my "stuff" because there were people there I didn't know.  Plus I want my friends to just say, "hey!  You look good!" and be done with it.  Sigh.  I know they mean well.

    Also braved a restaurant with the husband before the party...caught quite a few people staring at the lady in the bandana.  Poop.  I must have been having a down night because I wasn't doing too well with the stares.  My husband noticed a couple and gave them some seriously dirty looks. haha.  I really wish people would just ask me a question, and I could explain what I've been through, and maybe implore them to check their own breasts? 

    I think people assume breast cancer looks different than me...someone older...someone who isn't dressed in tight jeans and a funky t-shirt...someone who is bedridden from the side effects of chemo.  I don't mind being a poster child for "Breast Cancer can happen to anyone" if it would help other women along the way.  Just quit staring and ask me a question!

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  • Lynbob
    Lynbob Member Posts: 140
    edited March 2010

    {{{{{Kim}}}}}

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  • Marple
    Marple Member Posts: 19,143
    edited March 2010

    Bumping up for 'grandmother'.

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited March 2010

    Good morning ladies! 

    Kim do you mind me asking how old you are?  I am 47 and was at a wedding shower yesterday, seeing alot of people I haven't seen for some time, and I think they were suprised that I didn't look sicker.  Everyone has this preconceived notion of who and how someone should look with breast cancer. 

    Frosty how sweet of your dad to shave his head.

    Well it is official and I now have a confirmed date for reconstructive surgery. I was just notified it will be Tuesday May 11.  Sally I have decided to have DIEP.  I am so excited and nervous at the same time. I am not looking forward to having yet another surgery, but I am so looking forward with moving forward.

    I see the oncologist on Wednesday and will be asking for a reread on my slides, I'm am not sure where that could be done, Princess Margaret in Toronto perhaps?, but for now I am going to try to focus on the reconstruction.

    Have a great day, enjoy spring. This is absolutely my favorite time of year.

    Cathy

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  • neversurrender
    neversurrender Member Posts: 508
    edited March 2010

    Cathy - May 11 - Wow, that will be here before you know it.  Let me know if you have any questions about DIEP. 

    I hope all of you that returned to work today have a easy, comfortable day :)

    Gina - How are you feeling today?

    {{Lyn}} - sorry about the ovary :(

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  • ariesrottie
    ariesrottie Member Posts: 260
    edited March 2010

    Morning girls!!! Hope everyone is fine today with little or now SE. Getting over a stomach virus.... Can't get a break ... every time that I want to go back to work something else come up... Not a happy camper, plus hair is coming out in clumps....Very sad...

    Cathy- Yeah May 11!!! keep focused....

    Lyn- I feel for you .. When I'm done with my chemo... I need my ovaries out.... Do we ever get a break??

    Enjoy the day girls.

    Donna

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  • jizogarden
    jizogarden Member Posts: 375
    edited March 2010

    Morning all,

    I'm in a much better frame of mind this morning.  I finally asked my PS for a timeline....I said it would be easier to go through each fill if I knew the game plan :0)  He said he expected 2 to 3 more fills to get me to a full B...if I wanted to go to a small C I may want 4 fills...so he would like us to make the final call as we see how the fills look.  He is expecting my implant surgery will be near the end of April :)  He is giving me 60cc each week....I am now 240cc's (plus whatever was in the fill when it was placed during initial surgery)  So I will be 360-420 depending on how it looks and when we stop......  It is just good to know where the end of the fills are....I am looking so forward to the next step.....as we all are.

    I really love my PS....he is very easy to talk to and willing to answer any and all questions but somehow I always forget to ask him things until I'm out in the parking lot.  Even when I take in my list of questions I find I almost always forget something :o\   

    I'm happy to know that my implants will be in by the end of spring....as summer gets closer....it will be nice to be in t-shirts.  

    So if all goes well.....and no setback occur I should be done with my fills in a few weeks :)

    This group gives me so much comfort....I hope that each day brings you all closer and closer to healing and getting your "new normal" back.

    Gina you are in my thoughts each day.....healing prayers to you and to all that are struggling and need an extra {{{{hug}}}}}

    Strength and healing,

    Laura 

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  • burley
    burley Member Posts: 631
    edited March 2010

    Cathy-I'm 39...I dress younger, though.  I figure why not, while I still can?!  I originally lost about 6 pounds after I started my first chemo treatment,and I've gained 4 back.  As long as I have an appetite, I just eat whatever to keep my strength up.

    Holy cow, does anyone else have rib pain?  I'm not sure if it's the TE's, but my ribs STILL hurt 8 weeks post surgery.  I wear a sports bra 24/7 (per my PS) to wrangle these puppies in, so I wonder if that's part of the problem.  It's not super tight, though-just enough to keep them from floating around.

    I think I'm going to have to buy some regular bras for certain shirts-right now I can only wear dark colored t-shirts to hide the sport bra shape.  So I'm limited on the amount of shirts I can wear.  I figure, I'll just buy a cheap bra (gotta love Ross) in the size I am now, then another one when she fills me again.  I also need to ask my PS for a timeline...I'm very curious what she's thinking, and I need to just go ahead and ask.

    I hope everyone has a terrific Monday!

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  • KatRNagain92
    KatRNagain92 Member Posts: 522
    edited March 2010

    Hi Chickies...

    Had a pretty good first day back to work.  It's good to take a break and then see things with fresh eyes and a fresh outlook.  I'm in total agreement Cathy about people expecting you to look sick...and congrats on your decision and your date!  I'm excited for you and your continued journey. 

    No rib pain for me Kim...I just wear Spanx cami's all the time.  That's it.  Enough support to hold them in and keep my incision line well approximated.  Plus, I feel curvy! :)  I wonder if you got bumped during a transfer from the gurney to the bed or something?  the ol "on 3" sometimes is not a pretty sight.  

    Well, Laura, you've inspired me to think about stopping at a full B.  Much to my DH chagrin, I'm thinking my next fill will be my last...I'll be at 420cc....or at the very least, sit on that fill for about 4 weeks to really decide what I want.  I LOVE being smaller and my clothes just look amazing!  lolol  I don't mean to be all you know....but when you've been busty your whole life, this is so much more liberating!  It's proportionate as well...I'm fairly tall and slim hipped...so I shouldn't had such big ones to begin with.  My daughters (also big busy breasts) are totally jealous!  lol  Tonight, DH and I are going to have a serious talk about the new girls...I'm sure that as long as they're perky and feel natural he'll be fine. 

    I guess on the other side of that coin, I hope all you smaller busted girls get to go as big as you want because you can!  Whohoo!  That damn grass you know! :)

    Well, I hate to take a nap because that might interfere with sleep tonight, but I think I'll risk it.

    Have a wonderful evening ladies and feel better to those who don't!
    Kat

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  • neversurrender
    neversurrender Member Posts: 508
    edited March 2010

    Kat, glad the first day back went well.  I hope things go smoothly for your DH tomorrow.

    {{{Donna}}}

     DH and I had tickets to an NHL hockey game tonight.  I ended up staying home and sending my 11 year old with him.  The thought of being in a huge crowd and jostling through it at the end of the game made me cringe.  Too bad, DH and I were going to have dinner out before hand - like an actual date :)   Oh well, he and I will have to go out this weekend instead.  My daughter just texted me that one of the players flipped her a puck during warm ups.  This will cause friction in the house tonight.  My 13 yr old daughter is a HUGE hockey fan, and she goes to most of the games with my DH.  She also watches all the games on tv.  She had soccer tonight so she had to miss this game.  The 11 year old likes to go to the arena for the snacks - she could care less about hockey.  My 13year old is going to be pea green with jealousy. 

    Well, ladies I hope everyone has a wonderful, pain free night.

    Hugs,

    Sally

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  • Lynbob
    Lynbob Member Posts: 140
    edited March 2010

    Sally, I probably should have remembered that you have an 11 and 13 year old. Same as my munchkins. Fun age... scary age. <3

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  • robinlbe
    robinlbe Member Posts: 585
    edited March 2010

    Kim...yes, I have rib pain....and I didn't have reconstruction!!  I'm almost 10 (or is it 11) weeks out now...I've actually lost track...oh my!!!  I still have to take ibuprofen before going to bed, otherwise my ribs are so sore I can't stand it.....and it's the whole side of my ribs, from top to bottom...so I wouldn't think it would be your TE's.

    Kat, yeah for being back to work....I think your girls sound mighty fine....I think stretching skin sounds awfully painful anyway...I was plenty happy with my smaller set and loved it that I could get by with going braless even before my BMX....

    I'm so excited for all of you who are nearing your exchange dates and getting close to being finished.....you have had to endure so much.  I'm excited that I think I"m getting used to the flat look...I was proudly pulling back my jacket yesterday (revealing my flat chest in a pretty cami) for my lady friends at church to see....(although I think they were horrified at first - they were all older than me, so there was a look of horror at first, but when they saw me smiling, they began smiling, too).

    And you guys are so right....everyone EXPECTS us to look sick...because we have been diagnosed with cancer.  Just this afternoon I was out, and two different people saw me two different times...and both of them exclaimed how "great" I looked (did I look awful before?? ha!!)  I didnt' have my nose or my ears cut off!  I never felt a lump, a bump, or had any symptoms...my cancer was caught because I followed my doctor's recommendation and had yearly mammograms and calcifications -the by products of the cancer - were seen.  We were able to get the cancer before it caused problems.  I had three surgeries, yes.  I was told I looked awful the day after...ok.  But these people didn't see me then.  I guess just the word "cancer" brings to mind every sick person someone has known....

    Oh, well, I DO have a new haircut...and it's short and sassy, and it does look good, so if someone wants to tell me I look great, I guess I'll let them for now...ha!!

    blessings to all...praying for each of you every day...you're never far from my thoughts!!  robin

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  • frosty1
    frosty1 Member Posts: 420
    edited March 2010

    I agree on how surprised people are when they see me -- gosh you look good!  I'm not dead, I'm not dying, I just happen to have breast cancer and I'm going through chemo.  So sorry to disappoint.  Just remember ... they are not as enlightened as we are! Laughing

    Started my new job today.  All went well.  Thought I had bumped by wig askew at lunch, but it was fine.  But toasty. 

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  • neversurrender
    neversurrender Member Posts: 508
    edited March 2010

    Robin, I thought of you today while I was taking my walk.  I counted 5 houses that still had their Christmas decorations up :)   I was surprised by the number of houses decorated for St. Patrick's Day.  I didn't even know that people decorated the outside of the house for this, but their were 3 or 4 that had shamrocks and such all over them.

    Robin - I'm glad you are getting used to your new look.  I think that is a huge part of the recovery for all of us, becoming comfortable in our new skin.

    Brenda - Glad the first day went well......your wig is hot?  I had never considered that before. 

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  • bcincolorado
    bcincolorado Member Posts: 5,758
    edited March 2010

    Well I don't have "rib pain" per se but I definitely am sore with the TE in place and all filled at this point.  I took a Valium tonight because it was too tough to deal with. 

    Congrats to eveyrone returning to work.  I think I went back too soon...the day after my drains came out.  I found out today I had made a huge mistake (still on pain meds while at work) that could cost the company $2000!  I'm hoping it can be fixed but still feel terrible about it. I sure hope it can be fixed but it remains to be seen. 

    Sure wish I could win the lottery and stay home and not worry about money and pay check....but I heard you actually have to buy a ticket to win!

    Gina how are you doing today?

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  • bookart
    bookart Member Posts: 564
    edited March 2010

    Kim - I also have rib pain - no reconstruction, so probably not the TEs.  I'm also pink down both sides all the way to the waist.  I still don't know what that's about.

    Sally - I have a friend who would give her two front teeth for the puck!  She even travels to games.  Go girls!

    I also get comments from people about how good I look - I almost feel like I have to apologize or explain.  I'm not having to do chemo or radiation, so I'm not having the visible side effects. 

    BC - I tried to work from home and about two weeks out I sent an email to my assistants that wasn't complimentary.  I followed up with a phone call and my equal manager lectured me and told me to never to send an email like that again!  I realized that I still had anesthesia brain/meds brain and was in no mental state to manage anyone.  So even though stuff was going out of the office with my name on it that was substandard, I had to let it go.  Fortunately, I had plenty of sick time and vacation time and I know that not everyone has that.  I wish we all did.  Hope everything comes out OK.

    I had to come home early from work today because I started sagging at 2:15.  Daylight savings time always kicks my butt and is compounding the usual post-surgery fatigue.  I also forgot to take some ibuprofen, and the "minor" pain/irritation of my chest, armpits and ribs still wears on me.  Hope tomorrow will be better. 

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  • jizogarden
    jizogarden Member Posts: 375
    edited March 2010

    Morning Kat and all,

    Kat, I never thought my small chest would be an inspiration =')  I was the last in my 8th grade class to get a bra (not need a bra).  My mom took me to a store a bought me a trainer bra just so I didn't feel totally left behind by all the girls hitting puberty full force......  The first day I went to school with my "bra" I wore a white shirt so everyone would know I had one on :)  I probably didn't actually need one for another year or so.  So I have never really been more than an full A or small B. I'm just am looking to have boobies similar to the ones I lost.....I liked them just fine. After years of feeling like I wasn't big enough I had come to terms with my body and actually had no issues with my smallish chest.  When I first saw my plastic surgeon he said in a kind way "You can go bigger if you like...you are tall and have a large chest wall and would still look very natural ;)"  I'm paraphrasing of course.....so I teased him and said what is it with guys and boobs....I like my boobs just the way the are :)  He smiled and said he was happy to give me exactly what I want.  I also told my DH not to get his hopes up.....I was not planning on months of reconstruction for bigger boobs....he said he loved the way I looked and only wanted me to do what makes me happy, then he teased but if you want bigger boobies he would be fine with that too ;)  I told him again not to get his hopes up and we both laughed.  I think it was the first laugh we had after the diagnosis.  I love wearing light little t-shirts no bra needed..if I never need a bra again I will be very happy....back to the 8th grade :)

    I think there's only one choice and that's the one that makes you feel good about yourself...no boobies, big boobies, small boobies....all good choices :)

    Kat I hope all goes well with your husbands surgery today....

    Going back to work is tricky.  I went back in the 4th week....I probably should have waited another week when I realized how exhausted I was by mid-day.  I teach botanical art three days a week...my classes are 3 hours long.  I basically crawled home the first week back and collapsed on the couch for the rest of the day and DH continued to cook dinners.  I also felt like my brain was numb, I had a lot of trouble putting thoughts together clearly....didn't feel like I did a very good job teaching that week.  The 5th week back I was still tired but not quite so bad...some of my long time very supportive students said they wanted to welcome me back a second time because the week before I not really been myself =o/  so I wasn't the only one who noticed my fuzzy brain. By week 6 I really felt much better....not even exhausted after work...was able to continue to run errands and cook dinners :)  So clearly the body will only recover as fast as it wants to and will not be rushed.  I am very lucky to have a very supportive group of students and I am in control of my own program.  The arboretum where I teach gave me complete freedom to adjust my teaching schedule to my recovery needs.....

    I'm was pretty sore last night and had a hard time sleeping....but just muscle spasms that always happen the first day after a new fill......

    Sorry to go so long....too much coffee this morning :)

    Best to all with much strength and healing,

    Laura 

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