Desperate for advice/support. Please read

Oh sweetheart! My prayers are with you and so hoping you can get the help you need. Does she qualify for home health care to give you a break? Because she has open sores (wounds) nurses should be the one at your home to give her care. I have a doctorate in geriatric healthcare and have worked from in home CNA up to very high levels in the field of gerontology. Does her docs office have an agency to hook you up with. Is it time for 'respite care' or time to place her in a nursing home for awhile again? I just went thru this with my own Mom and I was her hospice caregiver at Sentera Nursing Home (a very small, intimate and beautiful place.) My mom passed after an agonizing death and I now have BC. I encourage you to start digging for all resources and do whatever you need to do to get a break for you. Your Mom will be cared for if you can pull the right team together. I am sending prayers that this will happen for you and for her. It does sound as though you are supporting her 'end of life issues' and if she has strong faith, does she have strong group of Christain women who can come and sit with her and read the Bible. You'all cannot be alone with this. Also, make sure that some of her 'outbreak" is not a skin candida infection. A doc will need to diagnose it but the itching is horrific but it must be treated properly. Does she have a priest who can help? Do what you can to marshall all of the resources. She should even be getting some kind of in-home rehab to communciate her wishes (like being able to write.) My prayers are with you and hoping you can get in home support. ((((SOFT HUGS))))) to you and you Mom, SV

I am so sorry to hear about this, I can't even imagine! My mother passed at 51 when I was 29 in Nov 2008. She was ill for a while with MS and developed a rare pneumonia. I flew down and olny had to endure it for 3 days before she passed. I don't know how I would even begin to handle what you're going through, you really are a survivor!

If the wounds are open I would really be concerned about infection when considering putting anything on it. It sounds as if they're oozing? I would be inclined to think a good anti inflammatory would help a little. Something more than just ibuprofen for naproxin. Pus is really injested tissue, caused by the inflammatory response. See if the doc/hospice/respite... whatever situation she is in... can give her something good. Is she on a steroid? I am not a medical professional so I don't know what she can/can't take with a stroke. But if topical steroids (you mentioned cortisone) isn't helping maybe some oral steroids will? They are used to treat all kinds of inflammatory autoimmune diseases.

I think the best cream for yeast is Nystatin. I love it... works for everything. If the doc suggest candida, inquire about Nystatin. As for nausea, the only thing that worked for me while pregnant was goold ole' ginger root. I purchased it from natural foods at the grocery store in root form, cut it up and boiled it. It worked wonders! My second favorite is emetrol... I give it to my three year old for sour stomache and it's very gentle.

I feel so empathetic for what you're going through. What a horrific turn of events! I know what you're saying about your mom being your best friend, I miss my mother so much, I still want to call her all the time.   My daughter reminds me soooo much of my mother lol! It's very bitter sweet, like pay back for all the things I put my mom through and the best love I've ever known all at the same time. I know you will always cherish everything about her... you're very lucky to have each other! Good luck to you!!!!!

I'll be thinking of you both and hoping for GOOD NEWS

Blondy what questions do you have about her bloods work?

Please talk to your mom's neurologist - does she qualify for inpatient rehab? Does he feel she is too weak for chemo? If she really is - do try and get a 2nd opinion asap but I would strongly consider hospice care - she needs to be made more comfortable and you need help and support.

 If she is on oxycontin and percocet she may be overmedicated if she is sleeping with decreased appetite and belly pain she is probably very constipated - if she on laxatives and stool softeners? 

If she is coughing and has difficulty breathing she may be developing pneumonia from the pain meds and immobility - please consider just calling 911 and getting her into a hospital - let them put the whole thing in perspective.She deserves to live - and die if its her time - pain free with dignity - you need help - please insist on it.

Take solace in the fact that you are doing everything you can. Prayers are coming your way!

Justablondy

No worries venting that is what we are all here for plus information from those who have gone before us on this journey. I have learned alot from the boards that have helped my sister.

None of those labs are terribly concerning - mom may be a little anemic. That would be indicated by the Hct and Hgb and RDW - it could explain some of her fatigue. She doesnt show signs of any active bleeding does she? Black stools, bleeding gums, etc ?The low white count needs to be compared to her normal - if the differential isnt wacky - they will likely just keep an eye on it. It could be from infection, side effects of meds or a number of other things. The sugar if nonfasting isnt terribly useful again a trend would be needed but could be a sign of diabetes, a side effect from meds like steroids etc. High sugar can make wounds not heal real well but the number is not that high. The MPV is not helpful (size of platelets) without the platelet count. The GFR business is just how they calculate kidney stuff and sounds like they changed their values - doubtful anything to do with mom;s numbers. As always discuss specific concerns with your doctor as obviously this isnt medical advice.

My mom and I are very close and I hear your pain. You keep doing what you are doing and be her advocate and her support and leave the rest in God's hands. If its her time, its not ours to say. I will pray for you both.