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  • KerryMac
    KerryMac Member Posts: 3,529
    edited March 2010

    Jenn - I need to use mousse every day or I just get the bushy's, and I clip back the ear bits with a few bobby pins - it also looks like you have a style!

    Glad to hear you are feeling better today. 

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  • jenn3
    jenn3 Member Posts: 3,316
    edited March 2010

    Today was much better and I almost made the entire day without something being said.  Went upstairs to drop off some paperwork and then it happened.  Someone said "did you see the curls above your ears, they look so funny".  Thanks???? But...........I didn't say anything I know she means well. 

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited March 2010

    Awwww Jenn  

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  • laurie41
    laurie41 Member Posts: 61
    edited March 2010

    I'm not digging my curls that much. I had straight hair before BC but now it's curly and wild. I have to be careful after it dries because if I mess with my hair it looks like a big puffball. Drives me crazy. I had everyone asking me before my hair even grew back if it was going to be curly. Kind of hard to tell them if I don't have hair. They even saw my bald head but asked anyway. That floored me. Now that I have hair, I now get the comments on the curls. I just smile. I know they mean well but it gets old real fast.

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  • apple
    apple Member Posts: 7,799
    edited March 2010

    i just hope i can keep mine for a long time - i definitely have scanxiety.. since my ct scan gave them ammunition to request a pet from the insurance company

    it's weird but it's hair

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  • KerryMac
    KerryMac Member Posts: 3,529
    edited March 2010

    ((((apple)))) - thinking of you. When is your PET scheduled for??

    I am enjoying my hair, absolutely. I think it is cool that it is so different. The weird thing though is that I  just don't look like "me" anymore.  I am 10 months out from Chemo (wow, that seems like a long time!) and my bangs are in my eyes.

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  • apple
    apple Member Posts: 7,799
    edited March 2010

    my pet is on Mar. 9th... of course I'm worried.. I have so much work to do and really don't have time for chemo or hair loss at this time.

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  • maltomlin
    maltomlin Member Posts: 343
    edited March 2010

    Hi there

    I posted on a different forum that after two years from dx and nearly eighteen months from treatment I was happy to have hair again. Initially it was like short cork screws so on the advice of my hairdresser, I grew it longer and the weight pulled the curls softer.

    Still not happy, although everyone said how much it suited me, I felt as though it looked like a 1970's perm. Last week my hairdresser tried straightening it and I was left with a lovely sleek bob and me in tears! Couldn't stop looking in the mirror at this lovely sleek hairdo and none of my family could understand why I was so emotional.

    I can now recognise the person looking back at me in the mirror and it looks like me!

    Mal x

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  • jenn3
    jenn3 Member Posts: 3,316
    edited March 2010

    Shana - thanks - the picture gave me the giggles.......I think that's what I'm going to look like :)

    Apple - (((HUGS))) you have so much going on right now - you don't need this too.

    Kerry - Wowy - bangs in the eyes - your hair is growing...........

    Mal - you have me in tears........... funny what this disease does to us.

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  • Beverly11
    Beverly11 Member Posts: 443
    edited March 2010

    Ah yes hair!!!   Your coworkers love you Jenn but they are truly overdoing the comments.  Enough already!!!   So frustrating when you spoke to one of them and then she comments on it.  No, they obviously do not  get it at all!!   Many of you have said many wise comments & some mighty witty ones too!  Glad you come here to vent Jenn.

    I long for the day when I don't get called sir...I have a ton of curl and am 2 inches taller in the morning.   I 'think' part of it is we just all want things the way they were and to be like everyone else.  I just want to feel feminine again and it is hard when I get called sir occasionally and still lots of stares. I look like the mad scientist on the Back To The Future Movie.  

    Kerry - Would love to see an updated photo of your hair.

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  • jenn3
    jenn3 Member Posts: 3,316
    edited March 2010

    It is hard to feel feminine......I am towards the end of radiation - I can't wear my prothesis, so I have no boobs, very short hair and have to wear "comfortable shirts" with my newly "tanned" chest.  Mad Scientist is a good term - think I'll use it along with my calling radiation my daily visit to the tanning booth. 

    I love my co-workers and I know they mean well, but yes they are overdoing it.  I do come here to vent because I really don't want to hurt the feelings of people that have been so supportive.   The friend I spoke to about my feelings, then commented must feel immune since we talk and joke about it so much, but I was trying to tell her too...........I know that before this I probably wouldn't have understood either, so I try to give them the benefit of the doubt. 

    I guess I'll just revert to the saying "this to shall pass".

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  • Beverly11
    Beverly11 Member Posts: 443
    edited March 2010

    Thinking of you Jenn.  The hair is just such a delicate issue.  It was & is still for me.  I tried to convince myself that this would be the time to try out new hair styles and tried to be all positive and everything.  But my self esteem really needs some work at this point.  I feel so vulnerable when I am around women who have not had cancer.  (them and there long hair)  I feel like I owe people an explaination for my strange look.  I am trying to focus on other aspects of my appearance like fitness.  A new pair of boots, earings or makeup always helps too!

     Take Care,

    Bev

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  • jenn3
    jenn3 Member Posts: 3,316
    edited March 2010

    I sometimes feel that way too.......when I see someone I haven't seen in a while or meet someone knew something inside of me wants to tell them so badly this is why I look like I do, but I don't - not unless it somehow comes up.  Strange feeling.............

    A few weeks ago a friend from a long time ago showed up at our office to install our new computerized phone system.  We did the "it's been a long time", "how is the family", etc...........then he finally said "did something happen since the last time we've run into each other, because your hair is soooo short and it used to be long"?  So..........I explained in brief, but it was weird because I knew when he saw me the questions were swirling around in his mind. 

    Bev........thinking of you too and sending a (((HUG))) we all need them. 

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  • victoriasecret
    victoriasecret Member Posts: 333
    edited March 2010

    Jenn

     Some people dont even recognize me I am sure so sometimes I just walk on by...I thought this sheik new grey boycut would be my new look ....it is just making me feel very old !!

    ml C

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  • victoriasecret
    victoriasecret Member Posts: 333
    edited March 2010

    I have to add I am still getting used to the new me...Got out of the shower and went to throw my bra on...but wait the prosthetics were not in it for 1 second I forgot...for 1 second I was back in time ...for 1 second....much love C

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  • KerryMac
    KerryMac Member Posts: 3,529
    edited March 2010

    You know, I was just wondering, how we would all feel if our hair hadn't fallen out with Chemo. Do you think it would have been an easier experience?? I think we are all very fixated on our hair, and how physically we have changed. A collegue of my husbands wife is having chemo for Lung cancer, and her hair isn't falling out, and I was wondering to myself if it would have been less traumatic, and would be easier to 'move on' afterwards. 

    Just a random thought....

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  • Alyson
    Alyson Member Posts: 4,308
    edited March 2010

    I still get comments about my hair 3 years out. I think you are right Kerry, losing the hair is so traumatic, it was a publically visible thing. I too, thought I would keep it very short but have let it grow a bit and have coloured it again as it came in white, turned a very pale brown/red. these days I get, was your hair always that curly? Well actually when I was younger it was even curlier.

    And yes its such a bother when your realise that you have forgotten that prothesis.

    Big hugs all I must get on with the day which looks like being another really warm one.

    Blessing from my today and your tomorrow.

    Alyson

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  • victoriasecret
    victoriasecret Member Posts: 333
    edited March 2010

    Hi Kerry

    My hair never defined me ...I grew up with the dreaded curly hair everyone is getting ...I hated it...but not untill the invention of the straightening iron could I do anything about it !! My fb pic was MY midlife crisis grow out so that was long for me !!!

    I believe that loosing your hair is not the hair but what it represents and reminds us of.

    I have a friend who was diagnosed and treated for ovarian cancer. She also did not loose her hair...cancer is cancer its never easy.

    much love

    C

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  • victoriasecret
    victoriasecret Member Posts: 333
    edited March 2010

    Alyson ...warm ??? ...WAAAA

    ml C

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  • Mamita49
    Mamita49 Member Posts: 538
    edited March 2010

    Kerry,

    Just to answer your ?. YES, it would have been less dramatic keeping our hair. Loosing your hair is still something very dramatic. I had to stop working for 6 months. My teenage girl was concerned, not afraid but concerned that peers would talk about me, and have the pity talk.......

    Loosing hair,   yes, you know right away which desease a woman has. No privacy anymore. 

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  • jenn3
    jenn3 Member Posts: 3,316
    edited March 2010

    I felt like losing my hair showed the world I had cancer.  Not that I was hiding, but.........it let everyone know something was wrong.  Then losing my eyebrows and lashes was even worse - I felt like that made me look sick(er). 

    Today while looking at a book of artwork done for the Cancer Center and the what the various pictures meant.  I have discovered that I view beauty much differently.  There was one picture that stuck out today, it showed a woman with no hair, wearing sunglasses, but her eyes were peaking out above them with a big smile.  I instantly thought - this woman is beautiful - her eyes were smiling as much as her mouth.  I look at these amazing women in these pictures and think they are beautiful.  And............if we think about it -  these women represent us!  WE ARE BEAUTIFUL!!! 

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  • Mamita49
    Mamita49 Member Posts: 538
    edited March 2010

    Oh jenn3,

    your post was beautiful. Made my day..........

    Just the thought, YES, we are beautiful, inside out.

    thanks for reminding me.................. 

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  • KerryMac
    KerryMac Member Posts: 3,529
    edited March 2010

    Yep, we sure are!

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  • Billynda
    Billynda Member Posts: 121
    edited March 2010

     Why the heck did my hair fall out and no one else's did?  Maybe it's stress lol.  My eyelashes are hanging on but they did that with AC too til the very end...  I have a harder time losing my lashes than the hair on my head.  My chemo was broken up because of the pregnancy.  I did my last AC Oct. 26th, and started Taxol Feb. 2nd. 

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  • victoriasecret
    victoriasecret Member Posts: 333
    edited March 2010

    Billynda...I know what you mean about the lashes...mine also hung on right to the end ...I thought ...hey guess there not going anywhere and then one day ...POOF ...gone !!but came back just as quick only had to pencil my brows in for about a week ...they then looked very bushy when they returned ...I had them waxed about 2 weeks ago made me feel like the old me !!!unfortunately my pesky chin hairs and stash are also returning ..more wax .

    When are you done Chemo B ?

    ml C

    ps I love your pic HOW BEAUTIFUL ARE YOU !!!

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  • jenn3
    jenn3 Member Posts: 3,316
    edited March 2010

    Losing our hair is one thing, but those eyebrows - just made me feel and look sick(er) .   They were the last to fall out and the first to return.  I've had two shape ups/waxings since the 1st of February.

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  • Faith316
    Faith316 Member Posts: 2,431
    edited March 2010

    My hair started growing back in during Taxol, but then, about a month after I finished Taxol, my eyelashes and eyebrows fell out practically overnight.  But, within a week or two, they were coming back in.  About 3 months later, they all fell out again!  I agree with Jenn, it was one thing to lose my hair, but without eyelashes and especially eyebrows, you just look funny!  I was really glad when that phase was over!

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