The dumbest things people have said to you/about you

dumbest thing ever said, "well it's a good thing you're losing them at 45, it's not like you were going to breastfeed or anything again"

I can think of two cases where the people were just really dumb!

1. My co-worker approached me to notify me that the American Cancer Society cleans house if you are taking chemo. I said" thanks, but I really don't need that info because Im done with chemo." She smiled  and said,"Well, just in case it comes back!" @#$#@#@%$

When I returned to work following  my lumpectomy  ( I had been out a grand total of two days) the first words out of my assistant's mouth were-  "... your hair still looks good."- and -"...it doesn't look like its falling out yet"- as if the mere diagnosis of BC causes all forms of hair to immediately drop from your body.  I decided to pretend like I did not hear it.  A week or so later she gave me another update on my hair  "its not falling out yet"  she exclaimed-  Fortunately for her I had not started my AI,  I sat her down and gave her a mini seminar on BC. 

rock on badbabe56

I don't know if this is dumb....or more just annoying and my lack of patience......I was in Victoria's Secret to use a coupon for a free pair of panties....The clerk says its also good for $10 off a bra and I shouldn't waste it and did I want to look at bras.....I told her that I didn't need any bras....this young thing  starts going, are you sure, we have some really nice new ones and....I cut her off and said that I don't need any bras as I had a mastectomy!!!  Then I went on to say, when a customer says that they don't need any bras, that I would appreciate if she would not keep asking them.  I think she was dumbfounded!!!!  My almost 12 year old DD was with me....and to be honest, she was not surprised by my comment to the clerk.  I told DD that one day, I would be in a really bad mood and ask the clerk if she would like me to lift my top and show her why I don't need a bra!!!!!!  IF this was any other article of clothing I probably would not have gotten so annoyed, but I guess that this is a sore subject for me....just like when someone who is small chested says that they don't have any boobs!!!! come on...unless you've had a masatectomy, you have boobs!!!!

I'll repeat this here, it happened just over a year ago...

I was in a department store buying some post-double-mast tops and as the sales clerk rang in my purchase, she mentioned that they were having free bra fittings in the lingerie department. I politely declined. She urged me to go as it was FREE! I said NO thanks, I've had a double mastectomy. She said OH, they can fit anyone! I told her I didn't HAVE breasts anymore for anyone to measure! I grabbed my bag and left her with her mouth hanging open. Idiot! Do they even LISTEN???

Maybe the sales clerk didn't know you could have breasts removed and thought you were a mutant born without breasts. Or maybe had an incomplete gender change. Maybe it was a sails clerk.  You never know.  As you know, some of us have as much sensitivity as a brick.  Never know who unleashed her on to the general public.  Who knows what gets into people.

mastectomy~pulling down the sail and using the fuel powered motor.

Whoopsi, wrong thread.

If anyone feels compelled to post on this thread saying "people just don't know what to say, they're just trying to be nice" please don't. We know that. This thread is for the entertainment value only.

My Aunt gave me a good comeback...

I was telling her that I find it funny when people say "you look so good" to which I usually reply "yes makeup and hairspray are wonderful things."

To which she replied  "Well, what should I  look like...It's not face cancer!!!! LOL

Melanie

Sandy Aust:

I think you have taken the "mum (or whoever)" completely wrong. What was meant here was  - person says "mum" - or other person they knew of - be it, friend, aunt, grandma, neighbour, coworker - the "whoever" meant whoever the person is that was being referred to. It was not in any way downplaying the role of a mother.

Furthermore, I  agree with Desdemena's above comment. Whilst I extend to you every sympathy, the point being made here is that no woman that has had breast cancer finds it in any way helpful to have "I knew someone who had BC and they died"said to them. It plays on your biggest fears. I am sure it must be horrible for you, however, I think you are missing the point here by being offended by a comment which simply states the truth. We all understand here, we've all been through it. 

I' m at work, but had to sneak in here to mention a dumb thing a person just said to me.

I was sitting in my office and one of our patient's came into my room to check out.  The entire time I was making her next appointment, this person kept telling me her entire family has heart disease but she'll probably be the one to get cancer and die a slow horrible death.  I remained silent and checked her out.  She proceeded to inform me again that at least she didn't have cancer. How horrible that would be.  She was lucky enough not to get cancer. She said this to me about 4 times as I was working.  I know she didn't have a clue about my cancer, but it hit a raw nerve.  I hid it from her and finished checking her out, but than sat at my desk for a few minutes trying not to cry.  I'm usually not sensative like that, but something just hit me cause she kept repeating it over and over.  I work in a dentist office, not a medical office, so I don't know why she kept telling me this.  I wear two pink bands on my wrist  that are visible and have a sign in my office counting the months I've been cancer free.  I dont' get it. People don't pay attention to whats around them. 

I had to share, but I've got to get back to work,  Just typing this down helps.

Thanks.

Deb

A very close friend asked how radiation was going. So I told her that I was tender, swolen, itchy and tired. She then said, "well at least they caught it early and it's not like you're going to lose your hair".  The other..."well DCIS isn't really cancer, is it?". ...yes, please share that w/ my insurance co that is about to raise my rates through the roof and the life ins company that won't increase my coverage and my fried skin. It's not really cancer. The way I see it, It's kinda like calling my dog ugly. I can say it but you can't.

otter--I really, really hate the "caught it early" line, too.  Like you I generally don't say anything at the time, but I usually get the same people who make that comment later when they ask me "are you cured?"  Then I just look at them somberly and say "breast cancer is never considered cured.  I won't know until I get diagnosed with a met or die without a mets if I'll have to go through all this again."  Then I sit back and watch them flounder.  

I guess we both have a little tiny bit of a mean streak in us. . .

"They ask in order to make THEMSELVES feel better."

True.  People are afraid of disease and mortality.  They want reassurance.  They should use the internet instead of asking us.