January Mastectomy

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  • bookart
    bookart Member Posts: 564
    edited March 2010

    Thanks, everyone, for the support about my stepson.  He actually spent the night in jail for possession, and we have convinced him that he needs to enter in-patient treatment.  I'm trying not to stress over this.  Ha. 

    I'm 8 weeks out this Tuesday, and I'm quite frustrated at my fatigue level.  Started back to work 1/2 days.  I tried driving and scared the hooey out of myself, so my son is going to be driving me to work and doing some community service until he leaves for treatment.  Since I'm not doing chemo or radiation, I think some of my fatigue comes from lack of sleep, some from post-surgery anesthesia effects and some from a new non-hormone med my gyn put me on for hot flashes.  Of course, stress couldn't have anything to do with it!  I just want it to be over.  Is this the thread where everyone wants to run away to Aruba?

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  • jizogarden
    jizogarden Member Posts: 375
    edited March 2010

    Thank you so much for your replies Cleo, Robin, Melissa and Marianne :)

    My chest is feeling much better this morning....I wont remove to the bandage until after my morning shower but I cant see any seeping through the pad...cross fingers :)  

    I see Cleo that you and I both tried to get back to "normal" too quickly.....luckily I'm not allergic to bacitracin so I hope by tomorrow he will not feel the need to do anything additional.  I love my ps and trust his judgement, I'm comfortable doing whatever he says is best. 

    I have to say my husband is mad at me for vacuuming too....  well not MAD but does not want me to push myself. He has been the dream husband.  When I go to teach my class on Saturday morning he spends the whole morning cleaning the house.  Vacuuming, laundry, changing the bed and washing sheets and towels....all I have been doing is dusting and not the high shelves.  I also have begun cooking the meals again and doing the dishwasher along with the food shopping (keeping the bags lightly packed so they are not too heavy to lift). Oh, and here's the topper he not only cleaned the bathroom but scrubbed the shower down from top to bottom. I realize I am so lucky to have a husband that jumps in with both feet as a caretaker....I had no idea :)

    So I will slow down again......I guess I just hate to see him using up so much of his day off to do the chores that I do each week.  He's also loosing weight doing my work! ;)  I'll keep my exercise to my daily walk with my dog Smudge who is also a great caretaker :)

    I am mad at myself for this setback....I like all of you just want to soldier on and get this over with....I want my iron bra out and my new inserts in....I hope I wont need too many fills to get there...my goal is a regular B...like I used to be :) 

    Any additional thoughts are welcome....I hope you all have a nice Sunday...in NY we are having a beautiful mild day, it is suppose to reach 55 degrees....the birds outside are singing their little heads off :)

    Best to all, strength and healing,

    Laura 

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  • faithandfifty
    faithandfifty Member Posts: 10,007
    edited March 2010

    Laura.... I too had been warned by several different 'authorities' that vaccuuming if off the to-do list, seriously, my PT said to avoid it FOREVER -- as she feels it's a serious risk for Lymphodema -- for the rest of our lives!?! I guess you can look at that as the proverbial glass half full/half empty and choose accordingly.(Tee hee) Here's to hoping that you can get right back on the road to recovery, having had this set-back, and on to smooth sailing ahead.

    I haven't heard anything from JudgeJ.

    Cathy..... bless your heart. I can't imagine your disbelief over hearing that they didn't have sufficient tissue to determine your test score. Marianne's response was so insightful. I pray that between your onc's training & insight you feel peace with whatever decision you reach. Sending up prayers right away for that serenity. Big, gentle hugs to you.

    Elaine..... my dear husband really did take the two of us to Aruba following my rads treatment after the first diagnosis. It was our first time there and we declared it a second honeymoon. I'll go see if I can find a couple pictures from that trip -- to give you a pick-me-up. The issues with your stepson are very real. To have them in the midst of your recovery must be acknowledged... and then as Paula says: bless & release. Aren't there support programs for family members? I'm sure that's the last thing your energy level needs..... maybe something similar to BCO on line?? One day at a time and all that reality.

    Hoping that the approach of more sunshine, longer days of light, creeping signs of spring, the twittering of the birds, urges everyone on our team into a better place -- both mentally & emotionally. Here's to more walking outside, getting our heart rates up for better sleeping at night.

    Big gentle hugs to all in need.

    May your every need be met today.

    Be gentle with yourself.

    We have all gone thru the wringer and will emerge as stronger women..... that's the only alternative. By reaching out here in our weakness' and accepting the encouragement of others in our same boat, we realize that we will indeed "overcome."

    Some days we can offer cheer and support, other days we will need it for ourselves -- that is the nature of our recovery. It is at the most inane moments that the grief wells up, wanting to swallow us. It is in that exact moment that you say, "I don't need to worry about this, I have an entire team that I can share these feelings with and they will understand and guide me to my new normal."

    Have a super-Sunday.

    xx00xx00xx00xx

    Strength and courage.

    Strength and courage.

    Strength and courage.

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  • jizogarden
    jizogarden Member Posts: 375
    edited March 2010

    Morning Kat and all

    I just read your post about worrying about the integrity of your incision:

    "With fills, I'm most worried about the integrity of my dang incision.  I think that's one of the reasons were going to every 2 weeks.  It keeps pulling apart...now only on the right side.  I'm doctoring it up as best as I can...and with a lot of prayer, antibiotic oint and Vit C, I'm optimistic it is just part of the process.   Interesting about the stabbing pains.  Since we had surgery within days of each other, I wonder if it's our time.  Seems some of the group who took one/two for the team earlier in the month had the pains around the same time frame of week 4-5...we're the end of the month stragglers.  :)" 

    What sort of problems are you seeing with your incision?  Are you getting any seeping?  Sorry for all the questions...it just sounds similar to my left breast since I over did it the other day.  I'm suppose to see my PS tomorrow to check my incision....and not due for my next fill until next week.  That will also put me at 2 weeks until my second fill.  Hope all your tissue remains healthy and strong :)  I just want it to hold until I get these TEs out.  I remember from a previous post we shared that you hat bras too :)

    Marianne I am also sorry you were having so much pain after your fill...hope you chest wall has relaxed by now and you be more comfortable.

    Strength and healing,

    Laura 

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  • KatRNagain92
    KatRNagain92 Member Posts: 522
    edited March 2010

    Morning Girls....

    Today I'm writing from not-so-sunny AZ!  My husband told me to go so I did :)  There is a lot to be said for running away!   My brother lives just a mountain over and my mom winters in Mesa as well so we're all within a 40 mile radius. 

    Last year, when my cancer was just a mere 1cm and I didn't even know it existed, we bought a beautiful place to come away to for golf and holiday and eventually move here on a more permanent basis. (our 10 year plan)  We worked really hard on it and now...it's fabulous and a nice place to call home away from home.  I'm looking forward to shopping and relaxing and maybe even drinking some beer!  whoohoo!

    Oh, and I did not wear any special sleeve or gauntlet for the plane ride.  My BS said that since the flight is only 3 hours I should be fine and I am.  As I side note, she did say if I were going to Hawaii or someplace where your up and down and changing planes it might make a difference and that wearing the sleeve may be beneficial but for my short trip, she said no... So, I went with what she said.  I brought it along just in case I would need it when I landed and felt any heaviness, but so far so good. 

    So, aside from bad weather...it's a nice diversion before I start back to work next Monday.

    Off to not vaccuum!  lol 

    Have a great day ladies

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  • faithandfifty
    faithandfifty Member Posts: 10,007
    edited March 2010

    Happy diversion to ARUBA pictures as I promised.

    Close your eyes and feel the sun's warmth.

    Be sure you also feel the trade winds that howl continuously.....

    No one told us about those.

    At times they threaten to blow ya off your lounge chair.

    LOL

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited March 2010

    Good morning ladies. Hope everyone enjoys the day wherever you are, in Florida or Arizona. Here in Canada, we are having record breaking temperatures that are a nice pleasant uplift.  The sun is shining and it certainly makes you want to just jump out of bed and get the day started.  I took my 9 year old daughter cross country skiing yesterday, and all we had to wear was a light spring jacket.  It was one of those "lock it in you memory" type of days.  The sun was shining and we even had at one point two dears running down the trail with us.  My daughter just thought that was great.  It was such a wonderful day that I will treasure forever.

    I am so sorry for all of the difficulties some of you are having with the TE's.  My thoughts are with you and with the ladies who have started or continue to go through chemo.

    I have made some calls and hope to find out more about what has happened with the tissue samples for the oncotype test.  I was really looking forward to getting those results.  I think as we paddle through the murky waters of a breast cancer diagnosis, there are so few things that can help us make decisions on what to do.  For me the onocotype test was one I thought that was going to come back with a very simple number, that was going to help with this decision.  I understand it could have come back in the grey area, but it could also have come back very decisively one way or the other.  I was trying to prepare myself for getting any one of the three scenarios.   I had never even considered a "No Result".  Kind of feels like unfinished business, if that makes any sense.

    Take Care

    Cathy

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  • TNgolfer
    TNgolfer Member Posts: 253
    edited March 2010

    Good Mornin' Sista's: 

    Debbie - the photo's of Aruba took me there!  THANK YOU!!!  I did feel the warmth and could hear the ocean.  What a beautiful place.

    Cathy - I sent you a post on the Oncotype site.  I wish I were there with you to help you relax.  I know the waiting is not easy.  We all have waited for test results until we just wanted to choke people!  I also demanded the Oncotype test, but I can tell you I really had my mind made up on what I was going to do before I got the results.  Try and remember that these d--- little cancer cells take a lot of time to multiply, so try and be patient.  Put yourself into action and make the calls you need to make, but try and stay grounded in the fact that you have early stage BC, no nodes involved and you would probably respond better to hormonal therapy than chemo (because you are ER+).  They still may be able to do the test.  See the other post on the other thread.  I am praying for you.  I know it's not fair that WE have to get involved, but sometimes we just do.  I ended up calling the lab in California and actually going to the pathology lab here to get my sample to FedEx.  You can do this....

    Kat, wish I were in AZ with you.  It is good to get away, and as for those beers....yesterday afternoon, I suggested to my husband that we go to the local sports bar and watch our favorite team get beat!  He seemed surprised.  We went and I actually had some good ole wings and 2 beers!  It felt good.  It felt normal.  I realized as I looked around at everyone in the place, that they didn't know I had lovely TE's under my sweatshirt.  But it suddenly occurred to me that I didn't know what was under theirs either.  I didn't know who might have had a colostomy bag, or drains from a recent surgery, or a transplanted kidney.....sometimes I think that we think everyone else is OK.  We are all suffering from something:  physical pain, financial stress, emotional stress, day-to-day crap, etc. 

    I am going to choose to not waste time thinking about what might happen (recurrence).  It may be a form of denial, but that's ok.   I am going to try and take my life back. 

    The thing I am worrying about today....I have to go to a sort-of baby shower.  One of my dear friends' daughters had a baby on 12/31, and she has come to visit with the baby.  So, I bought an adorable little dress for the baby and got my friend a WillowTree "grandmother" angel.  I will see some of her neighbors that know what I have been through, but I haven't seen them yet.  I know I will have to deal with some eyes going right to my chest (should I wear a tight top or a loose sweatshirt???).  I know I will get some comments that will evoke different emotions from me, but I am determined that life is going to go on for me (for however long it will).  I am going to see the baby and my friend (a new grandmother).  The sooner I get this over with, the easier it will be the next time and the next time, and pretty soon, it won't even matter.  When people ask how I am, I will politely report that I am "fine".  We are all fine!  (That's what they want to hear.) 

    Only here do we tell the truth:  the sometimes-hard-to-hear truth; the often-times-hard-to-admit truth.  Only here am I in a room of my friends. 

    Laura, I hope you don't think our experiences with the TE's are horrible all the time.  Last night I actually found a way to sleep on my side for several hours.  It is all getting a little better each day.  I have more energy.  We all have to remember that JANUARY was not that long ago....we are all so impatient to get back.....

    I actually don't want to get back to where I was before my diagnosis.  I want to move beyond and away from that time.  I want to find my new future....sunny days, good times with family and friends...days not filled with worrry.

    Carpe Diem!

    Marianne

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  • ariesrottie
    ariesrottie Member Posts: 260
    edited March 2010

    Laura. Don't vacuum!!!!!!! Let someone else do it swift instead for a while... Using those muscles are not good yet.. Listen to you Dr. I hope you are OK.... Don't worry relax...

    Hey girls guess what the hell mother nature brought to me this morning.... No wonder I didn't feel that great and had that achy feeling all over again... My last period was the 21 of January. 4 day before my BMX.... What the heck I thought that it would put in into menopause... And I had 1 round of chemo......You go figure... I guess I am not done yet with what the Big man upstairs has in store for me.. Thank him for Tylenol...\

    My son went to the Junior ball last night ... All went well  looked very handsome and met is English teachers daughter also very pretty... They had fun...That's all I can ask for................. 

    10 days and still have hair....Just feel very mushy today... The water works came out of the eyes this morning... DH wanted to know what was wrong.... I just want to feel normal...... I don't know some days are better then others.... I will decide later today if I will go back to work tomorrow for a few hours.

    Enjoy the sunshine... I will take a walk around the park later today.

    HUG .... Courage and strength

    Donna

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  • faithandfifty
    faithandfifty Member Posts: 10,007
    edited March 2010

    Thought this picture might make ya giggle.

    These are our 3 Denver grandsons w/our DIL.

    How cute is this??

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  • bookart
    bookart Member Posts: 564
    edited March 2010

    Debbie - thanks a ton for the pics!  Aruba's winds remind me of a trip my familiy took to the TX coast - winds blew our tent flat and blew sand in our food.  And your DIL with kids is great! - that's a picture to treasure forever. 

    Cathy -- I'm so sorry you're in this limbo-land of no results.  I agree with Marianne - it seems like you will be a good candidate for hormone-based therapy rather than chemo.  But I'm not a doctor or a pathologist and I would want to go strangle them for the pain and anxiety they're putting you through.  I hope you are able to get this resolved.

    I've been doing show n` tell with anyone that wants to see my scars - I figure it's educational.  Anyone that wants to stare at my flat chest is welcome to it.  There's no shame in having BC so why should I worry about what anyone thinks?  And there is no shame in having reconstruction, so look away, folks!  More power to all you brave women who are going through the extra pain, expense and effort of TEs and reconstruction.  Love you all!

    Elaine

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  • robinlbe
    robinlbe Member Posts: 585
    edited March 2010

    Love hearing how we each are taking our own steps, in our own way, in our own pace, sometimes forwards, sometimes backwards, but always making strides.....We ARE making it!!

    Today was my 5th Sunday back at church - back up front playing the flute and stuff, like always...and this was the first Sunday I didn't give hardly a thought to what I was going to wear - not trying to hide anything (keep in mind, I didn't have reconstruction and I have no foobies yet...I'm "Robin-no-breast")....

    After church today, a gal that I had confided my greatest fears to before my BMX called me aside...she told me that she didn't know how I would take what she was going to tell me, but she felt like she just needed to tell me this - she had been watching me the last several weeks (including today) going up/down to the platform and playing my flute/piano/singing....and carefully watching my chest.....she told me today that she absolutely could not tell anything was different!  That my movements were so normal, and my motions so fluid and graceful (whatever that means!), and because I'm so tall and thin anyway, she absolutely could not tell that I was flat.  She did acknowledge that with summer clothing, that could be different, but for now, she was so happy for me and just wanted to let me know that I looked no different at all. She had tears in her eyes as she told me this....She said she wouldn't have told me this had I not shared/spilled my guts to her before my surgery......and since I had been so worried/concerned before, she felt I would want to hear what she had purposely been observing.

    Anyway, that was my bright spot for the day :)

    The sunshine is another bright spot :)

    The sad spot, however, is that we're getting ready to take my oldest son to meet his ride to take him back to school - his spring break is over....it's been so nice to have him home this week.  Just as we get used to him being back home, it's time for him to return...sigh.  I just LOVE having all my kids under my roof....maybe that's one reason I haven't been so sad this week.

    And maybe there's something "magic" about being two months out now, too....yesterday was two months out for my BMX....amazing.

    You all continue to be in my thoughts and prayers, for every aspect of your lives and your battles...blessings..robin

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  • pbebow
    pbebow Member Posts: 575
    edited March 2010

    Hello ladies!  I'm doing pretty good...  just blown away about the whole vacuuming thing!  I told my husband that you all said that I'm not supposed to vacuum again, ever, and he just laughed at me.  Probably the fact that I vacuumed the whole upstairs and downstairs on Friday and didn't have any issues  is what is making him doubt that it's a bad thing.  My PS never said anything about it.   As a matter of fact he has basically given me full speed ahead for whatever I want to do.  He even told me before my surgery that I could go back to bowling after a month or so after surgery.  Yeah right!  I thought it sounded pretty cool, but I don't think so.  I haven't even tried to lift my bowling ball let alone throw it.  But vacuuming wasn't that big of a deal for me... but I have a Rainbow vacuum that is very easy to use, it was a little heavy to carry up and down the stairs, but anyway.  Hope the seeping is better.

    Hey I'm all for running away to Aruba, the pix look beautiful!  Would love to be somehwere warm and laying on the beach.  Of course, I believe that I'm going to need a new bathing suit!  I tried on 2 of my bathing suits this morning to see if they'd be okay (taking the kids to indoor water park for Spring Break) adn the one will do but the other one looks ridiculous, way too much foob showing, it could barely contain them!  Actually it was pretty cool.  It is my DH favorite bathing suit of mine because it was  little revealing and now it's too revealing!  I'm hoping that it'll look better after my exchange when the girls are a little softer.  You can definitely see the difference in the sizes in the other suit, my right side is a little smaller looking because it is going a little under my arm, so the same amount just wider.  But I really don't think anyone is going to look that closely that they'll notice...

    Anyway, hope everyone has a great weekend...

    Paula

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  • neversurrender
    neversurrender Member Posts: 508
    edited March 2010

    Last week one of my closest friends, whom I had confided the feeling of not being normal or me after surgery, commented to me after our daughters' basketball games that I appeared normal again.  She said my movements were smooth again, and that I was walking with the appropriate speed.  (My diep recon caused me to walk a little slow and take much smaller strides.)  It really made me feel good, a little upbeat.  Like I did not have a giant sign above my head flashing BC BC BC.  It also made me feel a little smug, BC got me and I had to loose my breasts, but It couldn't hold me down.  I am on my way back and I'll be better than ever :)

    Marianne - I just had the same thoughts while I was at the library the other day.  I started looking at everyone, wondring if anyone else had a drain bag, or incisions, or whatever.  We do just assume everyone is ok, and I realized I may not have been the only one there with tubes or attachments. 

    Sally

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  • burley
    burley Member Posts: 631
    edited March 2010

    Kat!  We could have had a little AZ get together...I live just about 20 minutes from Mesa.

    I vacuumed last week and while it was difficult, didn't have any problematic results...I did about 3/4 of the house, and luckily it's only one-story. I never realized how much you use your "pecs" to do it, though.  I had to do short, little strokes instead of long ones.  I'm kind of in a different spot with my husband-he works literally every day (at least part of the day) so I don't feel like I can ask him to help out around the house much.  The 15-year old will vacuum the house if I force him, but he vacuums like a "guy"-you know, misses a bunch of spots.

    I just had an amazing experience-a family from my son's Boy Scout troop just dropped off a card.  I spoke to the mom on the front porch and she said when their son went through cancer (poor little buy got cancer in one of his eyes), someone did the same thing for them and they wanted to pass it on.  Duh, oh...the card must contain money.  She left and I opened the card, and there was $1000 in it!  I'm was dumbfounded-in tears-in shock-so thankful.  It couldn't have come at a better time.  A definite answer to prayers.  I'm amazed at how generous some people can be at times like this.  We are looking forward to coming out of this situation, and being able to "pay it forward" as well.  Wow.

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  • robinlbe
    robinlbe Member Posts: 585
    edited March 2010

    Burley-girl....wow, wow, wow!!!!!  How blessed you are....what a wonderful experience....God takes care of us through others is so many ways - sometimes through the words on these threads, sometimes through the cards others send, sometimes through the food others have provided, sometimes through a small gift, sometimes through angels dropping off other gifts (like my 12 Days of Christmas gifts before my BMX), sometimes through families like this boy scout friend......

    I think if we take anything from this cancer experience at all, it will be to know how to more effectively reach out, minister, help, empathize, and listen to others when they go through their hard times in life - because they WILL come.  None of us are immune. 

    Oh, and by the way, my surgeon said I'm not supposed to vacuum, dust, do the dishes, do the laundry, cook, clean the kitty litter, or any other job I dislike for the next 50 years.....

    just kidding.......I don't vacuum much anyway due to herniated disks (discs?) in my back and neck....makes for good kid jobs :) 

    blessings everyone...you're never far from my thoughts and always in my prayers.....robin

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  • jizogarden
    jizogarden Member Posts: 375
    edited March 2010

    Morning Kim and all,

    I was 6 weeks out from my BMX when I "thought" I had the go ahead from my PS.  I said something like..."how about physical activity, lifting etc." He said that I could resume my normal life within reason....soooo when I'm see him today I'm going to see what "within reason" means to him and see if we are on the same page :)

    You said: I vacuumed last week and while it was difficult, didn't have any problematic results...I did about 3/4 of the house, and luckily it's only one-story. I never realized how much you use your "pecs" to do it, though.  I had to do short, little strokes instead of long ones.  I'm kind of in a different spot with my husband-he works literally every day (at least part of the day) so I don't feel like I can ask him to help out around the house much.  The 15-year old will vacuum the house if I force him, but he vacuums like a "guy"-you know, misses a bunch of spots. 

    Still having a bit of seeping but the tissue looks strong....  Somehow I don't think the vacuuming was the whole problem.  I think the sports bra that I wore for the first time the next day also caused undo stress on my boob :( My left boob is fuller towards my arm than towards my chest I think the bra forced too much of the saline in the TE towards the scar too quickly.

    I'm going to see PS this morning and will get the specifics on vacuuming, lifting, sports bras and hopefully healing up this strained tissue I'll be checking in later with an update.

    I want to thank all of you for all the help you offer, all the kindness and outreach you give to me and to each other....it is all so helpful.

    Stength and healing,

    Laura 

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  • Lynbob
    Lynbob Member Posts: 140
    edited March 2010

    Mornin' Glories {{hugs}}

    Been reading to catch up, so much going on. Prayers for all of us today. For chemo, fills, T.E. discomfort,  family issues, setbacks, sleep, etc... I am thinking of each of you today.  I have to say the idea of never having to do the vaccuuming again made me smile :D As did running away to Aruba or someplace sunny and warm. 

    Had my ultrasound (ovary) and blood work (FSH) this morning. It was very uncomfortable, bleh. I was so relieved when that was over.The ultrasound tech said they should know something tomorrow. Not sure when I will get the blood work back. I look forward to having the issue of what my lone ovary is up to and how it looks. The not know is harder I think than bad news. Anywho, I am planning on good news and putting my mind at ease. 

    Saturday I had a direct hit to the left T.E. by one on my kids. That evening I had several sharp, stabbing like pains. Sunday morning it felt heavy but I didn't think anything of it. Until I touched it that evening. It felt different, harder, I could feel the metal port. The shape had changed. So this mornring after my other tests I went to the PS. He said that it actually was in a better place and was ok. He had quit doing the fills because he couldn't find the port because of the seroma (pocket of fluid) I had developed after the drains were removed. He drained the seroma and got two 120cc syringe full of fluid. Eww. He was pleased with how I looked. Said the fungal infection looked fine and would not be an issue for the exchange surgery...

    So he scheduled a surgery date!  April 7th at 9am! Should be a same day surgery and I will have the lovely drains again. This may sound silly but I need the reconstruction to feel whole. I know it is different for each of us. I admire the ladies who have decided against reconstruction. If I hadn't been so well endowed before I would have been tempted to not reconstruct. There was a lot of freedom at not having anything (before the fills started) there. My kids really want 'mom' to feel soft again. They miss 'the girls' more than I do. I am going to be much, much smaller. More manageable than the Double D's.  Anyway I am happy to have a date look forward to. Well, enough about me, still praying for all the January ladies. 

    Love you guys! {{hugs}}

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  • jizogarden
    jizogarden Member Posts: 375
    edited March 2010

    Afternoon to all,

    I'm back from my PS.  He said that my breast looks fine...no more seepage...he even added another 60ccs.  I was scheduled for my next fill in a week but he said he was very comfortable doing a small fill and then another small fill next week.  I feel fine.....it was very reassuring to have him tell me everything is ok :)  Last week I had 120ccs in each breast...that was my first fill after surgery....I felt lots of little stabby pains for the first day....so far the smaller fill of 60ccs feels fine.  

    So here's what he says about the vacuuming.......he says it's fine and that I really can do all things in moderation...not to go crazy but don't be afraid to get back to life :) 

    My PS says that the pressure of the sports bra was probably more the cause of the weeping at the scar site than vacuuming.  He says just stay away from the bras if I'm comfortable not wearing one.. I am so comfortable staying out of a bra =D  He thinks the new girls are lining up well on their own....hope I'm at that B cup soon. :)

    Lyn I hope you get good results from your blood and ovary tests...and glad your TE has landed in a good spot with some help from your kids.......a happy and slightly scary accident. Congratulations on your surgery date :)  Hope all goes smoothly from beginning to end ......

    Strength and healing,

    Laura 

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  • 4Sophia
    4Sophia Member Posts: 23
    edited March 2010

    Hello Sistas!

    I so apologize for not being connected for the past few weeks.  I have had a lot going on in my world, which is no excuse.   I decided to move my treatment closer to home and feel it was one of the best decisions I could have made.  I had some issues with the other facility in that they refused to use my port catheter to draw blood and inject dye for scans.  So, my chemo was pushed back about 5 days. I did have my first cycle of chemo this past Weds and I had serious headaches.  Otherwise, my dad and I sat there, talked, and laughed.  I am so grateful for my pops, he has been such a wonderful support person. I finally got my muga scan and Pet CT scan finished and am happy to say that there are were no other cancer cells that spread in my body.  I am so blessed for this as well. 

    I understand what some of you mean about the water works.  I think just wrapping my mind around what is happening can be overwhelming at times.  I am also thinking of returning to school this week and am a little anxious about how others will treat me.  I don't want a pity party, I just want to be treated like me, because I am still me, one boob and all.

    Thank you all for your courage and strength,

    Tiffany

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  • robinlbe
    robinlbe Member Posts: 585
    edited March 2010

    I just returned from my BS....he drew off a little more fluid, and said that's probably the end of it...Said I'll continue to feel the band around me until I'm about six months out.  yippee....AND he doesn't need to see me for four months!  I am going to go through withdrawal.....I have been in that office every other week, at least, since Oct. 29th.....I won't know how to act.  I will miss him and his staff.  He started off so reserved, and now we joke and laugh....The ladies are so great, especially one who is my absolute favorite.

    So, now no oncologist visit....no BS visit until July.....I'm losing my security blankets.....I don't like it.  Emotionally, I still need those visits...it seems way too soon to be saying good-bye to this support team. 

    But I am grateful for everything for which I should be grateful.....and there is much, I know.

    Tomorrow, I go to my other two schools and see the sets of students I last saw the day before my surgery.  Hopefully I won't wear out as badly as I did last Friday...

    Continuing to think of and pray for ALL of you - in all of your various stages - daily...

    blessings...robin

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  • TNgolfer
    TNgolfer Member Posts: 253
    edited March 2010

    Lyn,

    How did your PS know there was a seroma?  Could he (or you) feel it? 

    Marianne

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited March 2010

    Hello all-

    I know that I have been MIA for many weeks.  All is fine and thanks to those of you who have asked about me.  My surgery on Jan 12th was a complete success -a bilateral MX with TE's.  My BS follow up revealed that a did have a 3 cm IDC in my right breast so I am thankful we did the BMX.  Also I am thankful that there was no cancer found during the SNB of the right side (previous left breast lumpectomy surgeries in Sept left me with a 2cm IDC and 2 of 9 nodes positive on the left).  The BS is confident that we got clean margins all around and I was cleared to restart my chemo.

    My PS was and is absolutely genius.  My BS and he work together all the time and so they are very much in sync with each other.  The BS did a skin sparing mastectomy so that when my PS sewed it up after the TEs were put in, he did almost a drawstring type close and my insision is only abou1.5 - 2 inches.  The incisions have already healed remarkably so that they are a light brown and almost look like areolas.  (I do plan to get nipples reconstructed and a tatoo areola before we are all done with this new creation.)

    The PS inflated the TE's to 150cc at the time of surgery and I have had two fills of 125cc each time taking me to my current 400cc.  I was a 32DD prior to surgeries - and now wish to get to a large B/small C cup.  I think that the plan is one or possiblt two more fills to overextend the TEs.  I do not think that we will schedule an Exchange until mid-June.  He likes to wait two months after last fill before Exchange and if everything goes smoothly, I hope to take a vacation for R & R in late May/early June and would like to not worry about healing from yet another surgery while away. 

    I have had little if no issues around the BMX and the healing of the incisions.  I have had alot of pain, however, and continue to have excrutiating iron bra pains...but I know that the pain is merely "growing pains" and I persevere for the hope of once agian having "normalcy".  I have questioned the decision to do the reconstruction though as sometimes the pain is debilitating.

    My issues have unfortunately revolved around my continuation of chemo.  I had 4- ddAC chemo in Oct - Nov.  I had 4 weekly Taxol prior to the BMX in January.  Those 8 times in the chair came with their own series of issues - but no real complications beyond the expected hair loss, eyebrow and eyelash loss, digestive issues, headaches, mouth sores, hot flashes, and of course fatigue.  Since the surgery though, I have had more unusual side effects including a fungal infection that just popped up on my thighs that is though to be shingles.  Yikes!!!  Talk about a pain that trumps all pain?  My wbc and rbc counts have been so low that I have had three scheduled chemo sessions cancelled due to too low counts and have needed to once again get Nuelasta shots and blood transfusions too.  I see my Onc tomorrow with the hope of getting Taxol #9. 

    I have also had alot of neuralgia in my hands to the point that I drop things and on days 3-5 following the infusion of Taxol I have trouble walking due to numbness in my feet and also bone pain in my thighs.  The most frustrating part is getting psylogically geared up for the infusion only to be turned away - or worse - sent for blood transfusions at the hospital. I of course do know that I need to finish the treatment plan - but it is getting harder and harder.  Looking down at my beautiful new chest (despite its rock hard feel) keeps my mood semi-elevated.  This is just such a long process and I am not the most patient person....I know you ladies can understand exactly what I am saying as many or most of you have been and are there too.

    I will close for now.  Thanks for all of your posts.  Even if I am not posting, I am lurking and reading and gaining so much from you!

    Love and peace,

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  • ariesrottie
    ariesrottie Member Posts: 260
    edited March 2010

    Lyn- so glad to hear you are better and have a surgery date... Yeah!!!!! You have been throught a lot... I still have 3 more treatments and some fills and then will talk surgery....Just gettiny by everyday is a jovb... I feel good then I feel bad... On top of everything I got a visit from Mother nature.... Thought that was to stop after surgery and chemo... They are telling stories again.

    Robin--- good for you and your no visits for doctors for awhile......Thinking of you and hope you feel good.

    For everyone who had doctors appt. Hope things are good.

    Hugs,
    Donna

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  • ariesrottie
    ariesrottie Member Posts: 260
    edited March 2010

    Jaclyn---- Good to hear from you..... Wow you have been though a lot.....am glad you are happy with the way the TE are going... On the chemo side I only wish you good luck with them and little SE. I only had 1 round of TC and have 3 more to go... Little SE , some days are better then other... My hair is getting thin... Oh well look what we have to look forward too. Being healthy and happy!!! Don't you agree... Its not easy, some days are rough and I ask for courage and strength , but we'll get through.

    Donna

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited March 2010

    Lynbob good luck with the results tomorrow.  Hope all is well.  You have certainly had enough to deal with these past couple of months.  The waiting....... Glad to hear you have a surgery date scheduled.

    Tiffany it is good to have those support sytems in place.  We all need that.  I'm glad you have someone to be there with you while you are having chemo.

    judgejaclyn it is so good to hear from you. Sending you warm thoughts and prayers. 

    Donna sending you warm thoughts and prayers as well.

    Take Care

    Cathy

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  • faithandfifty
    faithandfifty Member Posts: 10,007
    edited March 2010

    ((((((((((((((((((chemo-sisters))))))))))))))))))))

    I started another week of PT for continuing ROM issues.

    Also went back to FL-BS as my skin infection around my incision got worse over the weekend. My skin is VERY angry looking. Doesn't itch or anything..... She switched me to a different anti-biotic. Anyone have any extra fairies, gremlins or sprites they can lend me, I'd appreciate it.

    So basically spent the majority of the day in & out of appointments & then waiting at the pharmacy..... the only up side of all of this run around, was that the pharmacy was right beside some of my favorite retail-therapy outlets.

    Whoohoooo.

    So glad to hear from some of those of you who have posted on fewer occasions. Glad to get caught up on what you've been thru.

    xx00xx00xx00xx

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  • Lynbob
    Lynbob Member Posts: 140
    edited March 2010

     "TNgolfer wrote:  How did your PS know there was a seroma? Could he (or you) feel it"

    The PS found it. I mostly feel hard, swollen and deformed. But when he drained it I could tell where it was.

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  • neversurrender
    neversurrender Member Posts: 508
    edited March 2010

    Good Morning everyone - I hope it is warm and sunny in your neck of the woods today.

    I went to PS this morning so he could check my drain.  The fluid has went from yellow back to red and I wanted to make sure there were no problems.  Everything is fine, my fungal infection is gone, and he says my breasts have healed so quickly that I am almost ready for my phase 2 - way ahead of schedule ! Yeah !

    He offered to remove my drain (it was less than 20 the last 2 days).  I asked him if he was absolutely sure the fluid would not return, of course he can't give me a guarantee, but felt it would be ok.   I am so paranoid about the fluid building back up, I was hesitating making the decision.  His PA said she would pull it for me on Friday if it would make me more comfortable.  So I chose to keep it until Friday ;)  My PS, PA, and nurse all started laughing, and my PS said it is the first time EVER he has had someone chose to keep a drain :)   

    I don't know if I mentioned before, but my big toes were really sore when I woke up from my surgery.  The day after surgery, I developed a large blister and then a large bruise over the end of my left toe.  Yesterday, the whole bruised area fell off of my toe.  It was about the size of a nickel and as deep as a couple of coins stacked on each other.  The skin under is smooth and no infection or soreness - just very very weird.  I asked PS today what was on my toes during surgery.  He said they put nothing on them and his best guess is that the toe was somehow compressed again a pole or rail or something.  Although, he said the nurses check for that during surgery to avoid problems.  So that goes into the your guess is as good as mine  file. :)

    We (PS,PA,nurse and I) all had a long talk about the incident at the hospital when I had this new drain put in.  His nurse had already informed him of most of it and he was very angry with the entire situation.  Said he will never send one of his patients to that hospital again.  I mentioned the "let me see your boobies" nurse and they were all stunned.  It felt good to know they took it seriously and that he is following up on it.

    For those with chemo this week {{{hugs}}} for you.

    Jaclyn, welcome back and sorry you have had so much to deal with.

    Lyn, April 7th ! - that will be here before you know it - no more tuna cans for you :)

    Hugs to all,

    Sally

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  • frosty1
    frosty1 Member Posts: 420
    edited March 2010

    I was driving down the road yesterday and thought "wow - this is now normal."  It was a strange feeling.  I can not think about my uni-breast for hours and then all of a sudden that's all I think about.  Jaclyn- so sorry to hear about your SEs.  I started chemo last week and wake up each day wondering how I feel.  It is hard to keep going when you know you will feel like crap.  Hang in there -- you are almost done!  ANd with beautiful perky little boobs, too!

    Sally - I"m glad your doctor took you seriously.  That is ridiculous.  I hope something is done about that nurse.  That is too much.

    Lyn - wow.  How exciting to wrap up another stage.  I'm jealous!  I've been thinking about reconstruction and not sure I want to go through this again.  So I will wait a bit.  I think I need to get through chemo and the start of my new job before I consider anything else!

    Keep taking those steps forward!  We are marching on ...

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