Starting Chemo October 2009

JustmeAlicia · February 2010

JOJO ~ I don't know what that report means, I would call the dr for clarification. I am with you on not ready or willing to get back into the swing of life just yet. I am 3 weeks PFC as of tomorrow. Still very tired, look awful and not ready to socialize. I am doing more around the house ~ probably too much but that's about it. We have to allow ourselves time for the poison to disapate. And I know for me dble mast then chemo kicked my butt. Now I have surgery again in 16 days. So hopefully after that each day will get a bit easier and better.

Big hugs ~

Alicia

micheleboots · February 2010

Jojo, we will be here tomorrow for you to whine with..see ya then.

one-L · February 2010

jojo, the emotions run high with all the changes we have had to face in the last several months. We all have to admit that our lives are changed forever and will never be the same. We are different. We will always worry about things we would have never given much a thought to before. We will live with the cancer threat for the rest of our lives. We will move on and go forward, but in the back of our minds the cancer thing will always be there. Our families and friends will move on and never give it another thought, we are cured as far as they are concerned. We just have to play with the cards we were dealt and move on. Cry when you need to, love when you get the opportunity and take things one day at a time. We are always here for you and we will always understand where you are, take some comfort in that.

Alicia, good luck with your surgery in the coming weeks. We seem to just move from one thing to the next don't we? One day it will all be done and you can relax and go forward.

michele, good morning, hoping you are having a restful Sunday.

Juannelle

JustmeAlicia · February 2010

Beautiful words of encouragement Juanelle !

Hugs ~

Hopbird · February 2010

Juannelle, nice advice!

JOJO, I am certainly no doctor but I know when I had my scan the report mentioned a few little things like that but mentioned probable cause. The probable cause of some organ being irritated was recent use of Neulasta. When I was doing my Abraxane, my liver enzymes were really high in my bloodwork and my doctor had me do ultrasound to make sure my liver was OK...which it was. I think chemo can just be very taxing on your liver as it tries to process the drug. I'm sure if your doctor thought that finding was significant they would do so as well, but you should ask just to be sure.

Hi everyone! Just wanted to check in and see about everyone. I have been PFC (I'm sorry, I really liked Onty's definition much better!) for three weeks now. I have been feeling really good. So much so that I do too much and then get tired........oh well. I will go for surgery in another ten days. It will be good to cross that next hurdle off of the list too.

It's so good to see so many people done, or nearly done. WOO HOOOOOO!!!!

joanneasiata · March 2010

ONTY

THANKS you always say the right stuff big kiss.

Thank guys for the encouraging words and for just being there

I'm going to see my GP today Ive got the flue now and i might need some help with antibiotics so ill take the report into her and get her opinion on it im sure HOPEBIRD your right our liver the poor thing has to try and filter all that poison.

Picked up Sam from the airport this morning he was away the whole weekend in NZ for his nephews 21st and I'm not even sure if I'm glad his back i did enjoy being alone for a few days went to the movies to see Avitar with a girlfriend THE BEST MOVIE EVER MADE And dinner with my 2 boys nice ,,then to a musical called Menopause, very funny, went with my sister and a friend so yep Ive had a fun time with out him ,and also the best part of him being away was I HAD THE WHOLE BED yeh yeh for jojo

HOPEBIRD AND ALICIA

Hope your surgery's go well, they will, i recon they are a lot easier then chemo .

Well guess there's no whingeingfrom me today, sorry sometimes its good to hear somebody else whinge ah it makes you feel normal lol

LOVE LOTS

PRINCESS JOJO

budoml · March 2010

Hey Ladies; thanks for the great messages. Mostly it is fun to read through and see everyone so upbeat. For those of you still in treatment.....hang in hang in hang in.......there is a light at the end of this very long tunnel.

JoJo I am soooooo glad to hear things are fine with your daughter. I can only imagine the scare that must have been.

Mary thanks for the supplement info. I will check with the dr about the D3. She did say to keep taking it just not more than 2000 IU.

OK now I have to ask....what is ooph?

I finished my last radiation on Friday so other than tamoxifen I am done! Finito! Yeehaw! I did burn and blister a fair amount, especially under my arm but hopefully that will start healing soon. the rad people did warn me that it will probably take a week or two before it peaks and starts to heal but no more daily trips into the hospital is so wonderful.

Juannelle thanks so much for the insightful words.......I too am feeling a bit out of sorts now that it is all over. Sort of thinking I should be able to get right back into my normal life and put all this behind me. But it just doesn't seem that easy. I have been 7 weeks since my last chemo and still have no eyelashes or eyebrows. My hair is growing back slowly but it is the eye hair that is bugging me the most. It makes me look sick still. And still tired a lot. Perhaps I am trying to do too much too fast but I want to be normal again. I need to remind myself that my body took a shit kicking these past 8 months and still needs some TLC. Worst of all is the guilt to my business partner. He has been so wonderful these months letting me take lots of time off to get through all this. But I can see he is getting tired of dealing with everything on his own and working so hard and I feel like I should be back "full on" to help but I am still not up to it. Truth of the matter is that I don't want to go back to working so hard. I believe that part of the reason I got sick in the first place was the stress of our work and I want to make some positive changes in that regard.....Sigh......things never get easy do they. I should be bouncing off the walls now that all my treatments are over.......

Sorry for the venting.......

hugs to all, Marilou

txstardust · March 2010

Marilou, I agree, this BC is a real wake up call, making us take a hard look at our lives and decide what is really important. Good luck with your business, and make the decisions that will serve you the best!

Juanelle, I loved what you had to say, thank you for that.

Have a great morning everyone!

Peace....

MaryNY · March 2010

Boduml: Today I had treatment #4 of radiation (out of 33 treatments total). I'm wondering when am I most likely to experience burning and blistering. When did it happen in your case? My onc's recommendation is to apply Aloe Vera Gel 3-4 times and day and use cornstarch in the skin folds. Also for deodorant, they suggest Tom's of Maine or Crystal Stick.

How are you goind on Tamoxifen? Onc gave me Rx for that. But I don't want to start it yet. I might consider starting it once I'm a few weeks into radiation or I might wait until I'm finished rads. I already have really bad night sweats and I'm guessing Tamox will make that worse and that I'll likely have hot flashes too.

ooph = oophorectomy, a surgical procedure to remove one or both ovaries. Prophylactic oophorectomy significantly reduces your odds of developing breast cancer and ovarian cancer if you're at high risk.

joanneasiata · March 2010

HI ALL

Thanks MARY i was just about to ask the same question what is ooph

BUDOML

Your defiantly not alone, i two thought i could bounce back into life but life just bounced me right back again, it is to early to do it just yet they say how ever long you were on chemo thats about the same time it will be needed for your body to heal itself so hang in there ,may be just do a few hrs a day or a few days a week your partner will understand I'm sure best wishes any way

Well i took my results in and she cleared my mind totally i have NOTHING to worry about she said that it is very clear to the doc who is reading the scan that a simple cyst is water filled and can be seen very clearly ,and an cyst that could be cancerous is more of a solid mass and my cyst was water filled yeh and because of the cancer history he will give me another scan after rads to double check its ok but for people in general there would be no follow up yeh for jojo

txstardust · March 2010

Whew, what a relief Jojo! So glad that everything is ok with the liver.

I STILL havent' decided what I will do, Tamox or an ooph? I'm leaning towards trying the Tamox first, see how it goes, then I can always do the ooph if I need to make a change. The only reason I'm still considering it is because I always had trouble with my periods before. But now, I haven't gotten my period since October, and it hasn't returned yet. i wonder how long it takes to come back? I don't want to be surprised when I'm out somewhere, but I guess that's how it happens if it's going to happen. Is there a way to test and find out if you're going to get it back or not?

Have a great day everyone!

azdiva · March 2010

Shelby -

I'm with you! Really leaning toward giving tamox a go and leaving the ovaries in for awhile. I will not have to worry about my period coming back because my uterus is going for sure! 4 week PFC appointment tomorrow, so will discuss more then. And I get my last foob fill tomorrow too! Thursday is my urine flow analysis test (how would you like that job? the nurse told me that when she did it, she peed on the technician's shoes). Then Friday . . . I close on my Mexico condo!! YAY!

Great news, JoJo! I guess we will schedule my PET scan tomorrow, and I am very anxious to see the results.

Time is flying by, and I am so ready to have all of this past me. But I am also nervous about not being on chemo anymore. I know this makes sense to you all. I keep thinking that I will feel more normal after PET, after REAL hair starts coming back, after these hot flashes stop . . . but maybe I won't ever feel the same normal again.

Oh my! On that morose note, I will sign off for awhile! Need to beat the kids and get them out the door for school!

Love

Laura

JustmeAlicia · March 2010

JOJO good news on your liver. woo HOO

Shelby~ I too am going to try the tamoxifen and see how it goes before removing other parts. I see my Oncologist next week she will be giving me the script and discussing stuff. I won't start till after my exchange surgery on 3/16.

Laura ~ I'm with you not sure what normal will feel like. We probably will develop a new level of normal. Cancer surely has changed me. I am scared as well now that chemo is done.

So for today One foot in front of the other............

alicia

micheleboots · March 2010

Jojo, yah for you. Glad to hear your cyst is A-OK...A good test result for once...

Shelby, I believe there is a blood test to see if you are now in menopause...I think I had that one yesterday for my onc visit tomorrow...My DH and I are going in to talk about hormone therapy with the onc...I am still undecided as to what to do...I think I will ask her what she would tell me If I was her best friend or sister...each option has its pros and cons.

Laura, after I finished chemo I was kind of freaked out...If I am not getting poisoned what is killing this cancer? I took a deep breath and stopped thinking like that...I have to remember all the millions of sisters that did this before me and have moved on, cancer free...I will be one of those ladies soon.

budoml · March 2010

Hey Ladies; thanks so much for the input. I am sure things will work out over time. I guess we are all allowed to have our low days.....

Mary; I just wrote a whole paragraph and somehow hit delete so starting over again. I was pretty OK until the last 5 treatments. They were using a booster on me, which is like a 2nd skin, to intensify the treatments but my skin started getting pretty dark and irritated so they stopped using the booster at #18. My skin would not have reacted as strongly if I had not booster at all. The last 5 days my chest has gotten pretty red and tender but it is the area under my arm that is the most uncomfortable. It was really dark and bruised looking and then on Sat. it blistered open and is pretty raw underneath. I have been using pure aloe gel throughout it all and cortisone cream to help with the itch. However now under my arm I am using flamazine only. If i put anything else on it it stings like a bugger.the flamazine helps with infection and soothes it a bit. I also soak a cotton gauze in a strong green tea mixture which I keep in the fridge. This helps tons with the burning, hot sensation that comes from the treatments. Maybe they are giving weaker treatments since you are having 33? I would say that over all it was not too bad until the skin broke open. Now everything I wear or do irritates it. I am sure it would heal better if I could go around topless all the time but we know that isn't going to happen.....I would scare everyone away. :-) The tom's worked fine but the last week or so I put absolutely nothing under my arm...no soap, no deodrant...nothing. It just irritated it too much. Unfortunately they have told me that it will probably get worse over the next few days before it gets better. So the less friction you have under your arm the better.

Thanks for the def on ooph. I will definitely hang in for the tamoxifen before surgery. Some women I know had no se's from it. I just started taking it on MOnday and so far so good. My onc said sometimes the worst of the se's will hit in the first three weeks and then mellow out again so to hang in at least for a month to see how it goes. I was suppose to start a few weeks ago but figured I had enough on my plate so waited until the radiation was over.

Off to bed. I hope this helps. Soon, soon it will all be over.

All the best to everyone.

one-L · March 2010

jojo, great news. One more thing you don't have to worry about. Also, glad to hear that you had a good time while your DH was away. My husband use to travel and I liked it when he was gone some. Now if anyone will do any traveling it will be me and I haven't been in the mood to travel lately.

michele and laura, I think we all feel that way. The treatments have been so intense over the past months, it is a let down to finally be finished and we won't know until years down the road if the cancer has be completely eliminated. It is a scary world out there for us. We just have to learn to live with our new normal. In reality we all have one goal -- we want to live. We have subjected ourselves to surgery, toxic chemicals and radiation so we can accomplish that goal. If we can't move on, then what we did was a waste of time. I don't want it to be a waste, I want to take the time that I have been given and live it to the fullest. My wish is that we all live it to the fullest, no matter what the future holds. Life was never guaranteed.

Hugs to all,

Juannelle

azdiva · March 2010

Good Morning Ladies!

Heading to Mexico to close on my new place! I am very excited.

Had my 4 week PFC with Onc on Wednesday. He was ready to talk about everything I wanted to talk about. End result - I am keeping my ovaries and going on Tamoxifen. I won't start the Tamoxifen until after my implant exchange surgery and my hysterectomy. (So probably beginning of May). I am scheduled for a PET scan on Tuesday. AND, he is discussing my path report, etc., with a leading radiologist to determine what to do about my close margins. This, of course, could change the rest of my treatment. It did not sound likely that they would now decide to recommend radiation, so I am crossing my fingers! Finally, he has given Zometa the OK, and I will be starting that after my surgeries as well.

I had my "urine flow analysis" test yesterday. NOT FUN. But not horrific, either. Basically, they insert several catheters, fill you up with saline, and see how your bladder reacts in different situations (coughing, pressure, etc.). Glad its over. I am ready to get all of that fixed!! (Just so you all know, I DO NOT just go around peeing on everything! HAHAHA But, the problem has gotten worse over the years, and I am now ready to address it!)

Hope you all have a great weekend!

Laura

MarieK · March 2010

Hi All!

I had my appt this morning with the PS. He said that for sure he could do an implant on my mast and radiated side. He told me that the key to the success of the implant is timing. He said to wait at least 4 months after radiation for the TE and then another 4 months or so before the exchange. He told me that the radiated side will be harder and to the touch the difference will be noticeable. But he did say that I could have good results. He is going to do a lift on my natural breast to make them the same. He would NOT remove my right breast completely.

I asked him about liposuction (might as well get a bit extra done while I'm at it) and he told me that I would have skin left over and still would have stretched ab muscles to deal with. So he wouldn't recommend just lipo for rme but to get better results I would need abdominoplasty (tummy tuck).

He advised that it would be better to have one of the flap surgeries if I wanted a tummy tuck at the same time as a breast recon and have it all paid for. He said I was a good candidate for it - meaning I've got a lot of stomach fat!

I don't want to do a flap so I'll consider doing the tummy tuck possibly before the breast recon. Apparently I can have that done right away! I need to discuss this with hubby tonight. It's a lot of money though - $11, 000!!

Anyway that's it for me for today. I hope you all had a good day and have a great weekend!

Marie

MarieK · March 2010

Laura why did you decide against removing your ovaries if you're going to have a hysterectomy anyway?

lainieo · March 2010

Hi Girls,

Hven't been on the site this week. I had a cold and went back to work full time so just trying to get back into the swing of things. Tired at the end of the day barely describes it, but I am hanging in there.

JoJo so glad to here your daughter was ok. It is one thing for us to go through this ordeal, but please not our children. I have a daugher as well and it scares me that one day she may have to go through all of this. Hope is on our side that they will find a cure for this some day.

I start radiation on March 15th and am a bit scared because I had reconstruction with my mastectomy. At the time we didn't think I would need radiation, so I hope all goes ok with my skin and the tissue expander and that the exchange surgery will be ok. The radiation will also delay when I can have my exchange surgery and that will probably have to wait until August or September.

For all of us having so many emotions after chemo I think it is natural. We have been through so much, have been so strong and now that the chemo is done we can breathe. Lots of emotions come flooding in. I think the important thing is that we all give ourselves time to heal. I know for my family my emotional bouts have been trying, but I explained to them that I need time to heal and that it won't happen overnight and they need to let me do what I need to do. Our families want us back and normal so quickly, but I do not think that is going to happen.

Hang in there. You ladies are strong and wonderful. Take all the time you need to heal. YOu have earned it with all the crap we have been through.

Have a great weekend! The sun is shining here in DC and we may make it into the 50's. Finallay!

unklezwifeonty · March 2010

Sun is shining here in NJ/NYC also. The temp might touch 60 today!!!

Anonymous · March 2010

Hello all-

I know that I have been MIA for many weeks. All is fine and thanks to those of you who have asked about me. My surgery on Jan 12th was a complete success -a bilateral MX with TE's. My BS follow up revealed that a did have a 3 cm IDC in my right breast so I am thankful we did the BMX. Also I am thankful that there was no cancer found during the SNB of the right side (previous left breast lumpectomy surgeries in Sept left me with a 2cm IDC and 2 of 9 nodes positive on the left). The BS is confident that we got clean margins all around and I was cleared to restart my chemo.

My PS was and is absolutely genius. My BS and he work together all the time and so they are very much in sync with each other. The BS did a skin sparing mastectomy so that when my PS sewed it up after the TEs were put in, he did almost a drawstring type close and my insision is only abou1.5 - 2 inches. The incisions have already healed remarkably so that they are a light brown and almost look like areolas. (I do plan to get nipples reconstructed and a tatoo areola before we are all done with this new creation.)

The PS inflated the TE's to 150cc at the time of surgery and I have had two fills of 125cc each time taking me to my current 400cc. I was a 32DD prior to surgeries - and now wish to get to a large B/small C cup. I think that the plan is one or possiblt two more fills to overextend the TEs. I do not think that we will schedule an Exchange until mid-June. He likes to wait two months after last fill before Exchange and if everything goes smoothly, I hope to take a vacation for R & R in late May/early June and would like to not worry about healing from yet another surgery while away.

I have had little if no issues around the BMX and the healing of the incisions. I have had alot of pain, however, and continue to have excrutiating iron bra pains...but I know that the pain is merely "growing pains" and I persevere for the hope of once agian having "normalcy". I have questioned the decision to do the reconstruction though as sometimes the pain is debilitating.

My issues have unfortunately revolved around my continuation of chemo. I had 4- ddAC chemo in Oct - Nov. I had 4 weekly Taxol prior to the BMX in January. Those 8 times in the chair came with their own series of issues - but no real complications beyond the expected hair loss, eyebrow and eyelash loss, digestive issues, headaches, mouth sores, hot flashes, and of course fatigue. Since the surgery though, I have had more unusual side effects including a fungal infection that just popped up on my thighs that is though to be shingles. Yikes!!! Talk about a pain that trumps all pain? My wbc and rbc counts have been so low that I have had three scheduled chemo sessions cancelled due to too low counts and have needed to once again get Nuelasta shots and blood transfusions too. I see my Onc tomorrow with the hope of getting Taxol #9.

I have also had alot of neuralgia in my hands to the point that I drop things and on days 3-5 following the infusion of Taxol I have trouble walking due to numbness in my feet and also bone pain in my thighs. The most frustrating part is getting psylogically geared up for the infusion only to be turned away - or worse - sent for blood transfusions at the hospital. I of course do know that I need to finish the treatment plan - but it is getting harder and harder. Looking down at my beautiful new chest (despite its rock hard feel) keeps my mood semi-elevated. This is just such a long process and I am not the most patient person....I know you ladies can understand exactly what I am saying as many or most of you have been and are there too.

I will close for now. Thanks for all of your posts. Even if I am not posting, I am lurking and reading and gaining so much from you!

Love and peace,

MaryNY · March 2010

Jaclyn: you have been through so much as the rest of us have been coming to the end of our treatments. Sorry to hear about the all the extras you're having to endure on top of the extra surgery -- shingles, neuralgia, fungal infection, iron bra pains. Is it four more Taxol to go to complete your chemo? Will you need radation? If you do, I'm guessing it will just be to the left side as the right side had no positive nodes.

Glad to hear the PS did such a good job. You deserved to have the best after all you've been through.

Wishing you well as you continue your journey. Hoping treatment #9 goes ahead as planned tomorrow to get you closer to the finish line.

txstardust · March 2010

Jaclyn, good luck with the continuation of treatments. I'm sorry you've had so much trouble of late, I hope there are not too many more delays for you, as I'm sure you're ready to be over the chemo.

micheleboots · March 2010

Jaclyn, so glad to see you back again...I have wondered about you often and said many prayers for you...it has been a tough road for you, but it sounds like things are looking up...keep us posted on your progress.

JustmeAlicia · March 2010

Jaclyn, Glad your mx went well and sounds like you are healing up nicely. Sorry your counts have been low and delaying chemo. I hope it all comes up so you can get rolling and get the chemo part over and done with. Hang in there !!!!

Alicia

CAtharsis · March 2010

Jaclyn: Glad to hear from you: sincerely hope your counts get better so you can get it over with chemo.

Good news for me: I met with the surgeon today: clear path report!!! Neoadjuvant chemo was a complete success: no cancer remained in the breast and no cancer either in any of the 20 nodes removed!!! Now, I meet with the onc. next Tuesday and it appears (as discussed with the surgeon and the onc. nurse) that my next step will likely be radiotherapy.

azdiva · March 2010

Hi All -

Mary - I really thought long and hard about the oophorectomy. In the end, I decided I wasn't ready to give them up. I am 44 years old, and ovaries provide a lot of benefit to the body, even outside of estrogen (androgen, DHEA, etc.). Onc believes the tamoxifen will throw me into menopause if chemo hasn't already done that permanently. Believe me, I went back and forth on this for weeks.

I have my PET scan today. I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous. I almost feel like I am going to throw up. I haven't told many people that I am doing this because I don't want to tell my results if it goes bad. I just wish it was done. I know the tech won't tell me anything, but I am going to ask anyway.

I am assuming my Onc's consultation with the radiologist went ok because I haven't heard anything. Maybe they are waiting on PET results as well. I hope not, and that the radiation issue is behind me because I am scheduled for my exchange surgery on 4/8.

Hope you all have a great day!

Laura

micheleboots · March 2010

Laure, god luck today with your PET..I am sure it will go well and you will have your exchange as planned..

Catharsis, glad tohear all went wll for you as well...

Well I am over the hump of rads..Yesterday I had my 13th of 25...more than half way there. I am just now starting to show some pink skin, and at the back of my pit is feeling a little sore..oh well. only 12 ro go.

JustmeAlicia · March 2010

Catharis ~ that is wonderful news !

Laura ~ thinking of you today and hoping that your PET scan is all GOOD !

Michele ~ congrats on the 1/2 way done with rads !

Getting nervous for my exchange a week from today ~~

Starting Chemo October 2009

Comments

Categories