Triple Negative Breast Cancer and Chemotherapy

Does anyone read the survivor stories on here but me?  Don't just read all the bad stuff..there is some good stuff on here too!  Remember most of the people on here are just starting or having reocurrences....IF I continue to do well I probably will only check in once in awhile....

I don't have blinders on but I think that sometimes we are all freaking about something that just MAY NOT happen.

Oh..and I saw another study that says that nodal status is relevant in tn prognosis...see..you can go on the net and find whatever you want..good or bad.

I think some of us need to maybe get away from here for a while...plus we need to support Payton..and leave the rest of the stuff alone.

Thank you Titan- We need angels like you on these boards. To calm down the crazy folk like me.

Puddin' 

livvienigelmom- I agree with everything you say. Don't feel defensive about it. I don't think you're being negative, just realistic and truthful. Something I wish my medical team had been with me. I don't think I am going to die tomorrow, but maybe I would have planned that vacation to Paris before I had the recurrence in November. 

Thank you for your input. Please stay in touch. Never feel bad about being open and honest. We are all different and are entitled to our opinions about this topic.

I don't have family that I can talk to. I am all alone. They all think that I should walk around with a smile on my face, to show them that I'm not sad. Then I feel guilty on my "sad" days. But why should I? Let them walk in my shoes for one day. And see how happy that makes them. 

Puddin' 

Titan,

I totally agree with what you are saying/advising. These boards are enough to drive anyone crazy if you don't learn how to keep things in perspective.

Puddin'

I have the same diagnosis as you, but not the same outlook. Mind over matter. "Get busy living or get busy dying". Which do you intend to do?

When I was first diagnosed I was scared *shitless*. I read all the doom & gloom associated with TNBC. BUT, like Titan keeps saying, there are positive stories also. People who have made the choice to move on with their lives do not linger in places like this. These Forums are great, but they can also become unhealthy; especially if they prevent you from moving beyond your diagnosis.

I finished treatment two weeks ago, and intend to resume my life pre-cancer. Will it be different? Probably, but not enough to ruin what life I have remaining... which I expect to be a lot. I will not allow my fear of death by cancer to be a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I still check these sites daily, but with less and less impact on my well-being and state-of-mind. I am distancing myself from their effect on my psyche. I call that *healing*. If I can do it, so can you. We have all felt the fear of diagnosis. Hopefully we can all experience the renewed sense of Life also. I think this is especially true (again, Mind over Matter) for us early stagers.

Nuff said... time for fun (usually involves horses or sailboat).

Thanks for listening

Thanks hhfheidi its just been such an emotional rollar coaster. I just want an answer. I feel like I am frozen here.

I have four follow-up visits this month, so I have plenty of reminders. It's not a matter of being "fortunate". It's a choice we make, regardless of what our current circumstances are.

A recurrence sucks, but it doesn't mean it has to rule our lives. You have a lot on your plate and have reason to be concerned. But remember,.., you always have Paris. (apologies to Humphrey Bogart & Casablanca)

"Yesterday is History, Today is a Present,  Tomorrow is a Mystery"--- for all of us.

PS- some more snow for you...

First I want to say I am so happy today.  I got my results back from genetic test and I am negative for BRCA 1 and 2!!!!!!

Secondly, the way I am looking at this whole thing is that worry or anger can not change anything.  It can however, make our bodies unhealthy.  I can not worry about tomorrow.  I can only take things one day at a time.  Yes I can have a recurrence, but I can not worry myself about it. 

Pudding I am sorry you had a recurrence.  Yes, you probably should have been given dose dense taxol the first time around.  However, your bc came back at a fairly low stage which is a blessing.  If any of us go over to the Stage IV forums you will see recurrence in not only TN,but also positive hormone receptive ladies.  It is not just us that get bc again.  To be honest, chemo works better on TN gals.  And through diet and exercise we have an additional chance to lower the risk of recurrence. 

I am so blessed for every day I am alive and able to share my life with my wonderful husband and daughter.  I am so thankful for each and every day.  I give the Lord thanks and praise for every blessing and to be honest for the trials as well.  I have grown as a person through fighting bc.  My faith has grown as well.  I am a better mom, sister, and wife because of it.

I am thinking of all of you this evening.  That we all beat bc and go on to live healthy lives.

Anita

And hey Scooby Doo (Anita)..I love Scooby Doo..he is my fav. from childhood..in fact I buy my son scooby doo treats and my DH makes the SCOOBY DOO yell.and well whatever..I like him!

And pudding...get thee to Paris...whether or not you have breast cancer you need to go... we all know now that we need to do these things...whether you live to be 100 and broke because you went to Paris..oh well..let your kids take care of you!

And you will talk to your onc about the taxol won't you????

Scoobydoo- I realize that ALL breast cancers can progress to stage IV. I am battling my third BC in four years. The first in 2005 that was hormone positive. I take Arimidex for it. And will continue to do so even though I've had both breasts removed. I had genetic testing and I am negative for the BRCA1and 2. I personally know the risks of more than one kind of breast cancer. I try to post on the forum that pertains to what I am going through presently. But I do read ALL of them. 

I ranted earlier today and shared my views. I was feeling a little shitty. I think we are all entitled to have a day when we just rant and get it out. We need that. I know I do. We ALL have questions from time to time about our treatments, ( I'm not mentioning any names). We have to be our own advocates! Thank God we can read and write and we are not elderly, or mentally challenged. What would happen then? Some of these doctors are just unbelieveable. You got to stay right on top of them!

Titan-I have been saving for my retirement for 35 years. I have been blessed that way. So Italy, France, and Spain won't be a hardship.  

I am afraid that if I am too happy about something or start making plans, it will return. Because that's what it has done to me so far, since 2005. ( Don't fuss at me. )

Please don't judge me, until you have walked in my shoes. I am trying to be normal. It is a steep climb for me. 

I am genuinely happy for all of you who choose to see the glass half full. Most of the time lately I choose to see it half empty. I really don't mind you trying to snap me out of it. You all have become very important to me. Even if we don't agree all the time. But we don't have to. 

We are all different and that is why we cope differently. 

Thank you for the positive feedback.

Puddin' 

Hi Pudding.  I was aiming at more of a pep talk and not an antii-rant.  I agree 100% that this is the place where we she be allowed to vent.  I have had my share of vents and will definitely have more in the future.  I am definitely at the half-full point right now, but just a couple of days ago was terrified I was BRCA positive and probably more of a half-empty gal.  It changes from day to day.  I am praying I do not have a recurrence. The only thing stable in my life is my faith and trust in my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.  He is the only stabililty in my life.  I dont for one second pretend that I completely understand what you are going through.  Just know that we are here to encourage and support you.

Titan - I was also a huge ScoobyDoo fan.  When my daughter was 5 she absolutely loved ScoobyDoo and named our beagle Scooby.  Just makes me smile.

Anita 

Good Morning all,

Well of course I heard nothing more yesterday. But I got up this am and put on my warm fuzzy socks,made some coffee, made some homemade muffins for the boys and got them to school. Thought I would check in before I take the dog for a walk.

I don't dwell on the fact that I am TN or that I am BRCA1. Most of the time I would scan the posts during tx if I had a question. This is the first "group" that I have felt connected too, so I check to see whats going on with everyone.

When I first found this post I was in a crazy state of mind bcuz of the upcoming pet and now the madness has begun. I come here to get my mind straight and get my feelings out. Like I said very few people know what I am going through in my outside world. So you all have been a blessing to me. My poor Dad is worried sick and I don't vent to him because I don't want him to think I am angry or scared.

Titan- I agree with your DH totally..I dont know how many times over the last year I have said If this was their Mother or sister etc...I bet they would get on it. I love my onc and my trust w/ him just went up bcuz I know he wants a definate answer. My problems is the NURSES. I dont like to many chefs in the kitchen thats how crap gets screwed up.

Anyway hopefully I will get va call today...If not I may just show-up. I live 10 minutes away, in the past I have drove right over to get my questions answered. I thought about getting a gown from rads and sitting in the surgeons office this am!!! Positive thought today

Puddin..you have every right to rant and be ticked off..you are dealing with this again...I know exactly what you mean about being too happy and planning things...it is like I'm afraid to actually act normal because it may jinx me..stupid I know but I think that is the way we all are.

When I met with the onc last week..he asked me if I was short of breath and I said no..I was breathing just fine...we both kinda laughed at that and I realized..yes I'm still BREATHING...that is a good thing...then he suggested that I go to a meeting for breast cancer patients at the hospital....this month it is on dealing with the anxiety of breast cancer diagnosis...which would probably be a good thing for me to go to..but...yes..Payton..I'M GOING TO 2 BASKETBALL GAMES....I'll deal with the anxiety later...

Hi All- Update. I saw my BS today. He wrote the script for PT/OT 3x a week for 3 months, He thinks I should have more ROM in my shoulders than I do. The PT that has been coming to my house isn't doing me any good, he says.

He wrote a script for the bra and prosthetics. Then he discussed my pathology report, as much he could before I see onc on Friday. 

That beast grew from 1.5cm to 4cm by the time I had the surgery. I let out a gasp. He says "why are you so upset It's still a stage II".  He also said even though the tumor is a TN, it is probably a new primary. Onc is still studying it. BS said that first TN was at 12:00 position and this one was at 3:00 position a different quadrant of the breast. 

For once I am totally speechless. You all don't have to be.

I think I want to have a glass of wine tonight. They say I'm not supposed to, but what in the hell do they know?

I am getting ready to leave for Trader Joe's and I'm thinking what is it that happened from the time I had the clean mammogram in July up until the tumor was found in November. I am thinking that maybe I must have been exposed to something. I am trying to reason this thing out, make some sense out of it. I do spend a lot of time in my garden in the Spring and Summer, but I no longer use pesticides. Maybe my home was built on a previous dump site? Maybe I live in a cancer pocket?

I'm just rambling girls. Talk to you later.

Puddin'