Losing patience with people who squander life

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Texas357
Texas357 Member Posts: 1,552

Since your diagnosis, do you ever find yourself losing patience with people who take their health and their lives for granted? I've always been an optimist but since BC I really feel like YOUR LIFE IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW. BETTER APPRECIATE EVERY SECOND!

I have a relative who complains about every little thing. Sometimes I just want to shake her until she understands how lucky she is to have her health, to have so many advantages. She spends her time daydreaming about "someday" and I'd like to remove that word from her vocabulary.

Have others been affected like this? I hear of celebrities strung out on drugs, etc.and it just makes me so damned angry.

Guess this is what some people mean by having a life-changing moment, huh?

Comments

  • everyminute
    everyminute Member Posts: 1,805
    edited February 2010

    YUP!  Although I was kinda like that before - I lost my mother early and my mother in law and one brother in law as well so living with INTENT has been my motto (and my husbands) for years.  We bought life and cancer insurance when we were 30 (thank god) and while we save for retirement we live for today.

    That being said, I have less patience than ever for people who dont appreciate what they have.  I do want to shake them (and have posted about that also!).  My husband says everything is relative (her problems are big to HER) and I see that but I still get frustrated.

    When I have had enough I say...."I have a hard time thinking in terms of someday, so let's focus on the here and now.  What's for lunch?"  It at least changes the subject!

  • AnacortesGirl
    AnacortesGirl Member Posts: 1,758
    edited February 2010

    My husband better not read this because the person who comes to mind is my 40 year old step daughter.  She's only 10 years younger than me but she still acts like a whinny kid.  All the "woe is me" conversations drive me crazy.  It's amazing what she "can't do" because of her supposed health issues but then she turns around and does things that make no sense.  She lives in the same town as my MIL which is 6 hours away from us.  When we told her how much her grandma (in assisted living) would appreciate an occasional visit, even if it's just for 5 minutes, she said she couldn't do it because of her "comprised immune system".  For heaven sakes, what comprised immuned system??  And this was at the same time she was going to school to be a medical assistant - her goal was to work in a pediatrician's office (what happend to the comprised immune system??).  Well she graduated and got a job in a medical office but was fired in less than 6 months because of a HIPAA violation - she was looking at the med records of her soon to be ex-husband's girl friend.  What a waste. 

    But if I discount relatives I find that the people I choose to spend time with are very positive.  Some of them lead lives that I just admire.  Those are the people that inspire me to keep asking myself if I'm doing everything to enjoy now and not have regrets in the future.  BC has just increased my resolve.

  • justpayton1
    justpayton1 Member Posts: 786
    edited February 2010

    Oh I got this one!!!

    I have an ex who see our boys (13 and 11) just 4 days a month. While he may take them out to dinner, most of his time is spent napping because he is "sick'

    His ie of sick..cold, sore back hmmm maybe sleeping too much?!?!?!?

    Anyway at least he see the boys

  • geewhiz
    geewhiz Member Posts: 1,439
    edited February 2010

    OMG Texas, I love it....remoing "someday" from my vocabulary. I am working to be very present in the very moment I am in.

  • Marion
    Marion Member Posts: 207
    edited February 2010

    Texas357: I feel the same! I have lost patience for people who complain about small things and take their health for granted. I want to shake them too!

    It especially bothers me to see healthy people compromise their health. I have tried to tell some of my friends who are smokers, that it is hard for me to see them smoke, that is is shocking that they would continue smoking knowing they can get cancer, knowing they are compromising their health, knowing what they know about cancer afer seeing me go through it. I never cared before if people smoked (my motto was: it's their lives, not mine), but now, I'm not so tolerant. Same thing for some of my friends who use tanning beds and risk getting melanoma and skin cancer.

    So, I have become intolerant and lost patience since getting cancer... I don't like it but I can't help it! I want people to appreciate the fact that they are healthy, stop complaining and stop putting themselves at risk. 

  • apple
    apple Member Posts: 7,799
    edited February 2010

    breast cancer sure has a way of putting things in proper perspective.  I sure know what you mean.

  • Diana63
    Diana63 Member Posts: 773
    edited February 2010

    I will just say yes to this because if I get going I wont stop.

    I love this :)

     YOUR LIFE IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW. BETTER APPRECIATE EVERY SECOND!

  • cherneski
    cherneski Member Posts: 726
    edited February 2010

    My mother is a hypochondriac, she has been all my life.  She has some legitimate issues, depression, episodes of manic, and some real physical issues. She is a bump, a couch potato, a blob.  She barely drives because IDK, she doesnt cook or clean much, doesnt work, the only thing she likes to do is shop. Complains about EVERYTHING, anytime the smallest thing happens she will say "just my luck"  ummm get over it, it isn't a big deal.  Everything happens to her.

    Her biggest complaint is that my father has yet to build her a deck on their house.  Because of that he truly does not love her.

    Damn I wish that was my biggest issue, not having a deck~REALLY.

    Today I went roller skating with my 6 y/o DD.  How is that for living today!  Something I wouldnt have done last year Laughing I loved every minute of it!

    I could go on about this forever, but I wont.  Cause I want to be positive today Kiss

  • SpunkyGirl
    SpunkyGirl Member Posts: 1,568
    edited February 2010

    I couldn't agree with you more. Unfortunately, some people will never "get it".  Like I've said before, I'm happier than a lot of people I know.  And I'm sure that most of us who've gone through this have touched other peoples' lives positively in more ways than we can imagine just by continuing to live our lives....

  • Billynda
    Billynda Member Posts: 121
    edited February 2010

    OMG I have one of these in my life - he's very dear to my DH so he is there for good!  He is one of those people that is always complaining about his (self-induced) bad health or talking bad about other people.  He doesn't listen to you when you try to knock any sense into him, or try to gear the conversation in another direction - the sad thing is that there's not really much else for him to talk about because he never does anything!  So now, I just nod my head and smile and catch sideways glances from my man until it's time to go.  Sometimes I just laugh about it with my man, other times he REALLY makes me mad but then when I complain to my DH about him - I feel like I'm doing exactly what he does that drives me so crazy!

  • jenn3
    jenn3 Member Posts: 3,316
    edited February 2010

    I could get on a roll too, but won't............because then it would upset me and waste my energy.  I too wish people could see past that fog that seems to have clouded their brains and enjoy their lives and stop wishing for what they don't have or something that is truly unattainable.

  • clariceak
    clariceak Member Posts: 752
    edited February 2010

    I was just thinking about this the other day.  I realized even with my dx I am still much happier than my dh, always have been.  It's so hard to live with someone who doesn't appreciate having his own health, wonderful kids etc. 

    I've always been the strong one in the relationship and I was really hoping he would be able to step up when this happened.

  • diana50
    diana50 Member Posts: 2,134
    edited February 2010

    i think that some people just haven't had our experiences. i think that life dishes it out; but not everyone gets it at the same time.

  • AnacortesGirl
    AnacortesGirl Member Posts: 1,758
    edited February 2010

    Roller skating - now that's living!  Haven't done that in 15 years.  What good memories of the kids when we lived right by a rink and would go on the weekend.  I was lousy but it sure was fun.

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