January Mastectomy

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  • frosty1
    frosty1 Member Posts: 420
    edited February 2010

    Paula -- to your Q re my fooby:  It is a Trulife Naturalwear.  Some of the gel prothesis have an adhesive back that you stick to your skin.  Mine has it's own little fabric pocket, so I can wear it with any bra I want.  It doesn't touch my skin -- just the fabric, so it doesn't feel hot or sticky.  I also have a Sea-Shore (doesn't that sound pleasant) -- no waves lapping on the shore, but it is a very light weight "perfection puff" that is for swimming or working out.  It is easier to wash and dry as it is more of a netting type of pouf.  I mentioned the complaint of the foobs being hot, and my fitter showed me another foob that has gel spots on the back that are cooling.  Since Seattle isn't really much of a hot climate, I opted for the lighter weight foob.

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  • burley
    burley Member Posts: 631
    edited February 2010

    I got the EOB from my insurance a couple of weeks ago, and the bill from the hospital alone was $98,621.79!   Still waiting on a bill from the BS and PS.  I owe a $1000 deductible from December's biopsies, and my portion of the hospital bill is $2324.  Of course, the one good thing is I've almost met my yearly out of pocket amount already!

    I've had a few minor bills come through and I've paid them, but for the two above, I'm just sending them $50 a month.  I figure as long as I pay something, they should be happy for a bit.   Quiting my job has really put us in a bind.  I'm trying to stay positive about the money situation, but it's really hard-my bad days tend to be really bad.  Just too much weight on my shoulders right now!  I'm having a hard time staying positive, which I know I need to do to get thru chemo.

    As for SEX!  I am still not there yet...I can tell the husband is getting anxious.  But it's especially hard right now, what with me shedding pubic hairs...hahahahaha

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  • robinlbe
    robinlbe Member Posts: 585
    edited February 2010

    I've missed you guys!!  Two days away from a computer, and I've missed a lot!  Congrats, Paula, on that beautiful g'baby :)     Sally!!!  bless your heart...what you went through at that hospital...oh my. 

    We toured two colleges in the last two days - were outside for several hours in very cold temperatures with the wind blowing and what a toll it took on my poor chest.  I am SO tight...800 mg of ibuprofen did nothing...as soon as we got home, I grabbed a percocet (the first in a couple of weeks), and still have gotten no relief.  The itching under the numb skin has intensified at night to where it's unbearable for me, but thankfully benedryl gives relief. We picked up our college freshman son from his school, went to my mom's, and then took daughter to state solo/ensemble contest today...I'm worn out.  Totally.

     I'm 7.5 weeks out now and everyone expects me to be fine.  Now, I'm on the verge of being angry, I think.  I truly am trying to stay positive....looking at what I still have, being grateful for all I have, being grateful for what I've been saved from, etc., etc....I KNOW it in my head, but my emotions just haven't caught up yet.

    Ah, yes the bills....I think just about all of us got caught in the 2009/2010 two years' worth of deductibles.  I had two surgeries in 2009, and had made my deductible (and was within a few dollars of meeting my out-of-pocket!!!)....only to have my BMX on 1/6/10!!!   And had to start over with a clean slate.  thrill.....I owe over $5000 out of our own pocket.....so, like the rest of you, I am paying a little bit each month to each person - and I don't have a PS to pay, either. 

    We did stop at the financial aid office at my son's college yesterday and happened to mention my BC - they gave us a form to fill out for "extinuating circumstances", however it was for June2010-July2011.  Of course, I'll still be paying for all of this then, too....but I need to get a form to cover our payments from Dec. 2009 to May 2010, because we will be in hock for a LONG time. 

    Sometimes, when I am feeling this uncomfortable, I get frustrated that I PAID money to feel this miserable.....sigh...somehow, it would have been easier if my cancer had been discovered with a lump, a bump, or a rash....or something more than just calcifications in my annual mammogram.

    I haven't looked at what my total bill would be...I should.  I do know that when my daughter was born prematurely in Sept. 1992, it was a quarter of a million dollars.  But thankfully, due to insurance (and much better insurance at the time), our out-of-pocket was "only" about $2500.  Somehow, that was easier to justify :)

    Well, now that we've met our deductible for 2010, I "get" to have my first colonoscopy....yippee!  But I'd like to put this off as LONGGGGGG as possible.  I am NOT looking forward to that...but both oncologists said I am at risk for colon cancer, too (lucky, me!)...and I need the baseline done anyway....wonder what else we can all get done this year.

    Everyone still pleased with their reconstructions????  I read the Breast Reconstruction Guidebook by Kathy Steligo....part of me wants to go for it, and there's another part of me that just wants to bury my head in the sand and forget it all - and sometimes I do - until the next time I get undressed and look in the mirror.

    I'm supposed to get back to my regular work schedule on Friday....I honestly don't know how I'm going to do it.  Even though I have energy to do and go, I don't have the stamina to deal with 25+ kids in a classroom for 40 minutes at a time, with only about 2 minutes in between.  Get this....I get back on Friday...I have one week to get reacquainted with my kids (I haven't seen them since before Christmas), then the next week, I get observed!!!  Yippee....welcome back, Mrs. Eldridge..just hope I have the energy to endure....

    Glad you all are there.....you're like a support group.  I actually think I need a "live" mastectomy support group....this is taking more of a toll on me than I imagined.  I don't mean to whine..and I don't mean to be having a hard time. 

    But I do think of all of you every single day, and I pray for every single one of you...

    Maria...how are you doing??????

    Love you, ladies....

    blessings..robin

    +

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  • TNgolfer
    TNgolfer Member Posts: 253
    edited February 2010

    Kat,

    I want to play your version of "The Price is Right".  My guess is around $125K.  I know we all have had different procedures, tests, etc, but I, too, had a spreadsheet and would encourage everyone else to check and double check every bill, EOB, and statement.  In 2009, I had the 2 mammograms, 2 sonograms, 1 needle biopsy, 1 hook-wire needle biopsy (lumpectomy), 1 re-excision (2nd lumpectomy), chest x-ray, blood work, lab and pathology reports, 2 ASC charges, 2 surgeons, 1 assistant surgeon, 2 anesthesiologists, 1 very expensive Oncotype test ($4K all by itself), medications, etc. etc.  That total was just a smidge over $30,000.

    My guess is that the 2010 expenses will be around $100K with a 4-day hospital stay (so far), the Bilateral Mx, an emergency surgery, 2 anesthesiologists, 3 surgeon charges, blood tests, pathology reports, medication, etc. etc.

    Thank God I have great insurance and my out-of-pocket should be manageable. 

    Paula your grandson is a beauty and you look like the Mom, not the Grandma!!!  Debbie keep encouraging everyone.  Sally you really need to complain to that hospital....that nurse was way out of line, not to mention a score of zero in the senitivity department.

    The fills from Thursday are either feeling better or I am getting used to the discomfort!  I still think this Thursday I will request 50cc only.  This isn't a race!

    Hubby and I did not have sex (after the tulips)!  Reason:  Stayed up too late watching the Olympics -- both too tired.  Had out of town company last night and need to stay up and watch the Syracuse v Villanova basketball game tonight.  We'll get around to it....I guess.

    My TE's also feel different; one is definitely higher than the other and more under my arm than the other.  PS says not to worry about it -- these are just the TE's and they are doing the job -- stretching the muscles.  The implants will be soooooo much better.

    Love and Strength to all my Sisters --- so glad you are always there.  Whenever I am in a good mood; whenever I am in a bad mood; when I don't want to talk to anyone else; when I don't want to be judged.  You're always understanding and there to pick me up when I am down.  The best friends I have ever had and of course, the most understanding of all.

    Marianne

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  • mom2mms
    mom2mms Member Posts: 21
    edited February 2010

    Thank you everyone for all of your prayers.

    The surgery went well. They were able to remove all of the necrosis and the infection.  I had enough skin to cover the hole completely.  And they did not remove the tissue expander, but they did remove the initial 60 cc's from the initial surgery so now I am flat as a pancake on my left side, very lopsided complare to my D cup on my right.

    I can't carry or lift anything with my left arm, the Dr. says I have lot f stitches on the surface and deep muscle and he doesn't want me to burst a stitch, so i am being very good, I got a drain again. So no showers,  or driving...

    i have a large ace bandage around my chest so I won't be able to see anything until I see the Dr.

    Ladies, I can be honest with you guys, I am a little down, I am trying to put a big smile with the rest of he family, but I am down.

    Checking in soon.

    Maria 

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  • frosty1
    frosty1 Member Posts: 420
    edited February 2010

    Maria -- glad to hear the surgery went well.  Sorry you had to go through this again ...

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  • faithandfifty
    faithandfifty Member Posts: 10,007
    edited February 2010

    Maria. Mar-i-a. (Thinking Sound of Music)

    So glad to hear that the surgery went well. Soooooo glad they were able to get everything accomplished.

    Dear, sweet, woman.

    If you weren't down, I'd be concerned. I'd be concerned that if you weren't feeling down now, that it would sneak up and roll you over like a steam roller some day when you're stuck in traffic or waiting in line at the grocery store.

    You deserve to feel down.

    Now I don't want you to stay there for a second longer than necessary, but acknowledging this set-back has got to be a priority.

    Feel free to fake-it for your family and come here and 'let it all out.'

    Thinking of each and every one of you.

    Hope that your weekend is unfolding with lots of joy that you can feel.

    xx00xx00xx00xx

    Strength and courage.

    Strength and courage.

    Strength and courage.

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  • TNgolfer
    TNgolfer Member Posts: 253
    edited February 2010

    Maria,

    You have every right to be down, cry, stay in bed, be cranky and anything else.  But like Debbie, you just can't stay down.  Give yourself time.  Be patient with yourself.  What you're feeling is OK.   I, too, had a subsequent surgery right after my bilat Mx with TE's.  They had to deflate the TE on the left and placed another drain.  You MUST follow the doctor's orders.  BE VERY CAREFUL.  Don't do one tiny little thing that will jeopardize your recovery.   The drain will come out eventually, you will heal and become stronger.  Right now my breasts don't look alike at all.  We're trying to play catch up but because of the 2nd surgery, the stitches were holding the muscle in place and so the TE could only expand the muscle is some spots---so the left breast has filled in higher spots than the right.  It's actually kind of funny!  The PS reassures me everything will heal and be symmetrical when we are all done.  I know it is hard to deal with a setback.  It really seems unfair, doesn't it?  Trust that it will all be ok.  You will be ok.  Give yourself time to cry and time to heal. 

    Love,

    Marianne

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  • neversurrender
    neversurrender Member Posts: 508
    edited February 2010

    Maria - so glad that they were able to remove all the necrosis and that you had enough skin and that your TE could stay.  Take some time and allow yourself to feel down - we all need it sometimes.

    Robin - Yes, I am still very happy with my recon.  DH and I just had a conversation about them this am.  He is jazzed at how good they feel *blushes*.  As soft and smooth as pre surgery, but firmer not saggy :)  He can not wait for the nipples to be added.  He has always been very much a breast guy, so I was very nervous to have bmx, but everything has worked out wonderful so far.  I can't wait to see what happens with stage 2.

    Love ya ladies

    Sally

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  • bookart
    bookart Member Posts: 564
    edited February 2010

    Maria - I totally understand being down; You need a "do not disturb the BC survivor" sign to hang on your door when you need the family to just back off!  It's OK to not want to be cheered up.  It will pass if you let it, but a "pity party" is TOTALLY appropriate right now.  Like all grief, we need to be able to fully experience our distress, despair, sadness, etc when we are feeling them - not deferring them to another time unless we are putting ourselves in danger (driving, etc)  Because if we don't let them come out now, they will perculate up later when we can't afford them.  You do have a good thing that I hope will buoy you up eventually - your surgery was a success - yay!

    Robin - I know what you mean about work - I go back to work on Monday and I'm nervous about it.  I've decided to only go back 1/2 days for the first week; we'll see how that goes.  I'm 7 weeks out and have a high-intensity job that my assistants have had to do the best they could with these last 2 months.  My co-workers and boss assure me that they won't expect me to be 100% when I first get back, but I wonder if they know that it may be 6 months before I'm 100%, or even longer.  At least I don't have to teach my class this week - there's a conference that closes the campus.  That's good and bad - good that it gives me more time to get back on my feet, and bad because my poor class has hardly seen me this semester.

    Since I do a lot of physical work, my partner and I went today to buy me some compression shirts.  I found 1 that's pretty snug for working out, and 2 that will be for more everyday active day wear.  I also got some compression gloves - I get temporary edema in my hands when I walk in warm weather (pre-BMX) and I'm worried about lymphedema.  Even the few nodes I had removed can cause a problem, I understand.  I hope these will help. 

    My right underarm is still tender and swollen from the infection, but less sore and just a bit pink now.  I really hope the swelling goes down - it's quite uncomfortable and irritating.  Hydrocodone again tonight, after not using it for awhile.  Sigh.

    Elaine

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  • ReginaR
    ReginaR Member Posts: 287
    edited February 2010
    Thanks all of you, for Info & post.You are a great support group.Reading your post has help me. 

    Who need a support group when I have you all to vent with & share with & talk about comfort food.Speaking of Comfort food, My Cousin who live in WA.  sent me a package from "Georgetown Cup Cakes "& they shipped them to my House in Indiana. These were the best Cup Cakes I ever had  doz of variety, all delicious! You guys need to go to their web site & check them out. 

    My drain is not behaving it self. still 55cc today , it been a little over 4 weeks post-op. I am going for a record! Ha I was Hopping to get my tube under 25 cc this week.( I just know it going happen this week) & Was hopping to finally get my 1st fill to the expander & Guess what The Nurse call  me ysterday & gave me appt for March 8th, Because my Surgeon on Vac this week! Bummer! Ugh!

    Been on Taxomifen for 2 weeks now!  Still having a daily headache(for 6 days now )start around 11am & go to afternoon & then eases off . I take My Tamoxifen at 9pm , was wondering if that why I am getting the headaches at that time of the day?? I was thinking if I took the T at night ,I have less SE durning the day? any ideals?

    I Hope you all are having a great weekend!

    HUGS TO ALL !

    Thanks again for being here for me! Thanks for being my support group!

    Gina

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  • burley
    burley Member Posts: 631
    edited February 2010

    To add insult to injury (ok, mastectomy), I shaved my head last night.  My hair was falling out in handfuls, and my scalp hurt very badly.

    I do not look good bald!  And to be flat chested on top of it-I'm just not dealing well with it today.  I go for my 2nd fill tomorrow, and I'm not looking forward to it-going to wear a baseball cap since I can't afford my wig yet.

    Sorry-I feel like others are dealing with much larger things and maybe I should just suck it up?  Maybe I can do that tomorrow, but not yet today...

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  • grdnslve
    grdnslve Member Posts: 310
    edited November 2010
    burley--i think you are being way too hard on yourself.  have you done the look good feel better class yet by the acs?  we got a free wig at ours.  maybe you should check it out.   by the way, bet i will look worse with no hair....just so you know--the 6" long question mark scar on my head heretofor hidden by my tresses will be hard to ignore.  'maybe i can do that tomorrow...'  calling you scarlett from now on....have a cuppa & a sob & check out that class!!
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  • bcincolorado
    bcincolorado Member Posts: 5,758
    edited February 2010

    Sally:

    My hospital here sends out surveys after EVERYTHING (including lab draws).  I would definitly talk to someone at the hospital as well if yours doesn't do that,  A call to a patient advocate at the hospital should help.  Those nurses should have been much more respectful.

    At my 2nd lumpectomy there was a student nurse there on the floor and they asked my permission before allowing her to come into the room and if I minded if she observed the surgery. 

    Be vocal and definitely tell your story to all your doctors and the hospital.  They need to know and you may save someone else from this drama.

    And by the way, my PS would not let me shower at all with drains in.  It was almost 2 weeks and yes, I felt gross!  We bought some wet cloths like baby wipes with aloe to help do sponge bathing.  My hair was the worst part of it.  We found caps (see the shopping and packing thread before surgery) that my uncle sent me.  It reallly helped to "wash" your hair without water.

    Best of luck to you!

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  • faithandfifty
    faithandfifty Member Posts: 10,007
    edited March 2010

    Sending out love to all of our team who are in the throws of treatment, particularly chemo.

    Allow yourself to grieve, even in the midst of the process.

    We've had sunshine all weekend & I am so grateful for the blue skies.

    We went out to dinner tonight with our neighbors & had a very nice, calm evening of visiting and enjoying each other's company.

    Tomorrow is my double-dip BC day. Appointment w/surgeon in the morning. Appointment for PT in the afternoon. There will be retail therapy in between the two -- that's for sure!!!

    I'll be thinking of each of you as the day unfolds.

    Keep putting one foot in front of the other.

    xx00xx00xx00xx

    Strength and courage.

    Strength and courage.

    Strength and courage.

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  • neversurrender
    neversurrender Member Posts: 508
    edited March 2010

    I used one of the waterless shower cap things at the hospital and it did work pretty well.  I have managed to wash my hair, even without my shower.  I have a large sink with a sprayer in my laundry room and I had one of my daughters help me.  I can't stand to have my hair dirty !!! If my PS doesn't approve the shower, at least I know I can keep my hair clean.

    Ladies, for those of you having appts tomorrow - I wish you the best.  And for those of you returning to work tomorrow - good luck, I can not even imagine trying to work all day.  I still need a nap everyday. 

    Robin - I had some similar feelings.  I felt fine, had no lumps, and yet I was going to have a BMX and let them carve up my abdomen.  I think if I felt sick or felt a lump, it might have made it easier to accept. 

    I pray for you all and I hope tomorrow shines brighter for all of you.

    Love ya girls,

    Sally

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  • KatRNagain92
    KatRNagain92 Member Posts: 522
    edited March 2010

    Good Morning Gorgeous Girls!

    Here's to the start of a fabulous week....especially to those going back to work.  Slow and steady wins the race!  Take lots of breaks...go in late and leave early (if you can) Just please take care of yourselves.  We have come to far to have a set back now!

    I'm going in myself but just for a visit.  I'm a little nervous but I think it will be ok.  I've got my written release to go back on the 15th so I've got a little more time and taking it in bite size pieces may be the answer.   I've also got an appointment with my gyn today to discuss the fate of my ovaries.  I want to keep them so we'll see what he wants to do.  I'm all for the trans-vag ultrasound annually and I hope he agrees. 

    Prayers and strength for those going through treatments, fills and who maybe getting drains out!  I hope everyone is doing ok. 

    Yesterday my husband and I reconciled all the EOB's against the statements and am thrilled to report that 2009 balanced!  Yippee!  I'm going to send off my first round of checks and then spend the next month getting ready for 2010 crash.  It is really a weight off my chest to have that done. 

    We're in for a little spring time weather around here...highs in the 40's by Wednesday.  I think I'm going to take up walking around the town at 0'dark hundred again.  It really helps clear your mind and get you ready for your daily challenges.  The only things that scare me about that are barking dogs behind fences and the garbage truck.  Both things make me go super fast.  But I used to walk 3 miles a morning in about 40 minutes so that's doing pretty well. (I think but what do I know? lol)

    Have a wonderful day all!
    Kat

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  • frosty1
    frosty1 Member Posts: 420
    edited March 2010

    Happy March to everyone!  Seems to be coming in like a lamb here in Seattle.  I plan to get out and get my walk in and see how my port feels.  I may even tackle the Wii again today. 

    So ... after my 2nd rounds of interviews on Friday (with my port surgery on Thursday), they made me an offer!  I love the people, the job sounds great.  Now I just have to fit my chemo rounds into the mix.  I was hoping they would take a bit longer to make the decision ... usually you hope the other way around.

    Starting my lovely chemo cocktail on Wednesday.  I'll let you know how things go.

    Thoughts and wishes and hugs to all ... we have made it a long ways from where we started back in January!

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  • Lynbob
    Lynbob Member Posts: 140
    edited March 2010

    Mornin' glories {{hugs}}

    I am very happy to see March. It helps to make January seem a long time ago. I am afraid I am having a bit of a blue Monday ladies. I keep pushing myself forward but this past weekend I feel like I hit a wall. It was such a busy week with working, doctor's appointments and the EGD. Then I worked Saturday and Sunday as well. Both kids had activities so I was leaving the house at 6:15 am and getting home no earlier than 7:30 pm.  what I would not give to have another parent in the house with me! I think I am too old for all this. At least, today, I feel very, very old. I had a good boo hoo with my dog after the kids were at school and and am now trying to get motivated when all I want to do is take a nap.

    Sorry for whining. Thanks for listening.

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  • TNgolfer
    TNgolfer Member Posts: 253
    edited March 2010

    Lyn,

    I remember the days of single parenthood....they were exhausting even when I felt good.  This may not be any consolation to you, but sometimes the other parent isn't that much of an asset...but I do know what you mean.  I remember just wanting to have another adult around, just for moral support.  Lyn, we are your moral support right now.  Wish we could take some of the physical burden away, but know that we are all here to listen, to cry along with you, to give you cyber hugs, and whatever else you need.

    My only advice is to be sure to find time for you -- even if it means crying with the dog.  Schedule some quiet time for you to relax, take a bubble bath, watch a funny movie, whatever....Pamper yourself. 

    Take care of YOU.

    Hugs,

    Marianne

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  • pbebow
    pbebow Member Posts: 575
    edited March 2010

    Brenda, congrats on the job offer!  that is awesome, I hope you are able to work it all out.  There is no better job then one where you actually like the people and what you are doing.

    Lyn, I am sorry that you are having a blue Monday, makes me feel a little selfish, I was starting to feel pretty blue myself, but I can't complain, I have a wonderful family that are taking very good care of me.  I don't have to run the kids around, my DH does that, but I think that it's about time I step up and start helping alittle more.  I was a single mother at one point in my life and it is hard, so I so feel for you.  This too shall pass!

    So, ladies, I have decided that tomorrow (like that, I'm still putting it off until tomorrow) I am taking my life back.  No more sitting around on my "getting larger by the day" ass and eating whatever I want.  I am going to go back on my Weight Watchers program and start eating healthier and I am going to start doing some kind of excercise on a daily basis.  And I am going to get up in the morning and do my DD hair before school and I am going to start doing more around the house, take some of the pressure off of DH.  The reason that I have decided to start tomorrow is because it'll probably take me all day today to find my WW stuff and figure out a meal plan for the week and get the grocery list going.  And we'll have one more fattening meal tonight before the healthy stuff begins.  I know that my DH has started adding a few pounds that he's not happy about too.  We seem to eat out or do the drive through so often since my surgery.  It is just easy and we don't have to think about what to make for dinner or who is going to make it.  But enough, I can take care of my family and it's about time I started again.  I had a little self pity last night and today, I am just so tired of being uncomfortable (that's that word again Kat) and not feeling normal.  I know that my normal will be different when this is all over, but I am hoping that my normal will at least allow me to plop down on my bed and just be and not have to worry about being gentle and only certain positions.  And I would be able to snuggle up to my DH, my kids, and my grand kids without fear of hurting myself or them (with my rocks)... that's the normal that I'm looking for.  But I know in the meantime I have to start some of my other "normal" things in life, like housework, cooking, and being healthy.  If I am going to have these fabulous new foobs that are bigger and perkier, I certainly want to have a nice lower half to go with them!  Want to look good in a bathing suit!  So, anyway, I am going to get in some kind of shape and eat healthier and I know that I will feel better.  Have a great and happy sunny day ladies!

    Paula

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  • burley
    burley Member Posts: 631
    edited March 2010

    Lyn-I agree with Marianne-MAKE TIME to take care of yourself!  Bubble baths work wonders-so does ice cream!  I was a single parent for a little while, and it was a lot of work-and I wasn't sick at the time.  But I also agree that sometimes the other adult isn't always much help either.

    Good for you, Paula!  I'm sure the WW will make you feel a lot better, and back in control of something at least.

    I go for my 2nd fill today-I'm going to ask her how many cc's are in there because I have no idea.  Planning on taking a Valium and some Tylenol before I go-and I still have some pain pills in case I need one tonight.  For some reason, I'm nervous about this one.  I'm gaining more feeling back, so I'm not looking forward to the big poke!  And my ribs have been hurting, so more pressure does not sound fun.

    And this will be my first trip out without hair-with the stubble, I look like I pulled a Britney Spears, not like I'm going through chemo.  Got my outfit planned, and going to actually put on makeup while I still have eyelashes!  Whoo hoo!

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  • ariesrottie
    ariesrottie Member Posts: 260
    edited March 2010

    Good Afternoon Girls... Feel much better today then yesterday.. The sun is out and I have more energy... Walked for a bit today.. The aches and pains left the body. Maybe next week I will go back to work part time..... Don't want to push it... I have a fill apppt. for this Friday.,.... Had to wait to the end to week to see how I felt with the chemo SE....

    Kat--- I have been having trans-vaginal for years since my mother had ovarian cancer... I would do them every year... But now since my BC and my mothers history they want me to consider taking them out,..... In due time... i need to get better from this... I wish you luck and hope you can get away with just the TV's yearly.

    Good luck to everyone who has appt. this week. Take it slow don't push yourself.... Strength and courage.

    Donna

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  • ariesrottie
    ariesrottie Member Posts: 260
    edited March 2010

    Lyn- My heart goes out to you... You can do this be strong .. We have been thought a lot already... Hang in there. Take time for yourself.....

    Brenda- Congrats on the job.... Take it easy one day at a time.

    Kim - good luck on your fill today.... Hope it goes well....

    The rest of my January sisters... I miss you and wish you all well.... One day at a time with courage and strength.

    Donna

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  • neversurrender
    neversurrender Member Posts: 508
    edited March 2010

    5 weeks today - Kat, Donna, and Laura - I can't believe how far we have come. 

    Talked with my PS today, he said I can take a shower, just cover up the new drain - YEAH!  They actually recommend Glad Press n Seal wrap to cover it.  It worked.  Sticks to the skin, but peals off easily.

    Brenda - Congrats on the job !

    {{{Lyn}}}

    Kat - I used to have TV ultrasounds every month for over a year (infertility treatments).  They  aren't bad, so I hope your gyn lets you keep your ovaries and do TVs.

    Paula - I am also trying to get myself back on track now.  I went shopping yesterday and filled the house with fruits and veggies.  I think part of my *blah, need a nap everyday feeling* is due to my current eating habits.

    Ladies, remember we can do this.  We have been through so much ! Give yourself time to grieve, cry, rant and rage.  Allow yourself to feel blue and miserable.  Allow yourself the pint of ice cream and a day on the couch in jammies.  Then when you feel better, pick yourself up and continue on.  We will get through this.  One step at a time.

    I hope everyone has a good Monday.

    Strength and Courage !

    Never Surrender !

    Sally 

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  • TNgolfer
    TNgolfer Member Posts: 253
    edited March 2010

    Sally,

    Thanks!!! I'm going to the store right now for a little pint of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream.  I'm going to eat it all.  I'm not going to share it with anyone (except I would share with my January sisters if you were here).  Then I'm going to sit like a lump on the couch and watch whatever I want!!!!  Great idea!

    Marianne

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  • robinlbe
    robinlbe Member Posts: 585
    edited March 2010

    We all made it through February!!!!  wow....In some ways, the time has flown...and in other ways, it has seemed like forever.....I think we have all hit our emotional roller coasters, where the hills are bigger, higher, and coming more often.  If you were like me, I was so strong at the initial diagnosis.  I was even strong with the first two surgeries.....kind of going on "auto-pilot", I guess.  Even the first couple of weeks after the BMX, I was doing fine....the first several, actually.  Then, booooom.  Out of the blue...it hit.  Guess the grieving really hits....and then I feel guilty for feeling this way.  Knowing I should feel grateful, but yet I am.  So many mixed emotions.  argh....

    Brenda...congrats on the job!!  yippee.  Lyn - A good cry does help.  I think we all keep it bottled up, and it just has to come out.  You KNOW I've been there.  Burley - I saw some ladies at the place I went today that now make me think of you...a couple had some attractive scarves on their heads;  another had hair just growing back. 

    I met with the genetic counselor in person today (after having talked with her via phone before)....it was decided I am at risk for the BRCA1 and 2, as well as Lynch (a colon cancer)...so I'm being tested for all.  And even the Lynch can cause uterine and ovarian cancers....figure if the ovaries have to say "bye-bye", I might as well get that done this year since the deductible has been met.

    Just can't wait until warmer weather...I DO think the colder weather is hard on all of our bodies as we are healing.....and for those of you with TE's, I just can't imagine how much more pain/uncomfortableness you must be experiencing.  Even with being a flatsie-watsie, I'm as tight as a drum.....and the cold weather makes it so miserable.....I also find that stress of any kind causes extra tightening, too. 

    At least spring is only a few weeks away.....Thinking of each of you and praying for all of you daily...blessings....robin

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  • robinlbe
    robinlbe Member Posts: 585
    edited March 2010

    We all made it through February!!!!  wow....In some ways, the time has flown...and in other ways, it has seemed like forever.....I think we have all hit our emotional roller coasters, where the hills are bigger, higher, and coming more often.  If you were like me, I was so strong at the initial diagnosis.  I was even strong with the first two surgeries.....kind of going on "auto-pilot", I guess.  Even the first couple of weeks after the BMX, I was doing fine....the first several, actually.  Then, booooom.  Out of the blue...it hit.  Guess the grieving really hits....and then I feel guilty for feeling this way.  Knowing I should feel grateful, but yet I am.  So many mixed emotions.  argh....

    Brenda...congrats on the job!!  yippee.  Lyn - A good cry does help.  I think we all keep it bottled up, and it just has to come out.  You KNOW I've been there.  Burley - I saw some ladies at the place I went today that now make me think of you...a couple had some attractive scarves on their heads;  another had hair just growing back. 

    I met with the genetic counselor in person today (after having talked with her via phone before)....it was decided I am at risk for the BRCA1 and 2, as well as Lynch (a colon cancer)...so I'm being tested for all.  And even the Lynch can cause uterine and ovarian cancers....figure if the ovaries have to say "bye-bye", I might as well get that done this year since the deductible has been met.

    Just can't wait until warmer weather...I DO think the colder weather is hard on all of our bodies as we are healing.....and for those of you with TE's, I just can't imagine how much more pain/uncomfortableness you must be experiencing.  Even with being a flatsie-watsie, I'm as tight as a drum.....and the cold weather makes it so miserable.....I also find that stress of any kind causes extra tightening, too. 

    At least spring is only a few weeks away.....Thinking of each of you and praying for all of you daily...blessings....robin

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  • faithandfifty
    faithandfifty Member Posts: 10,007
    edited March 2010

    MARCH!! IT'S MARCH!!!! WE ALL MADE IT TO MARCH!!!!!

    Today has been a hum-dinger for me, but I am home safe & sound and have read thru everyone's challenges and that has certainly put mine in perspective.

    This morning I spent the morning getting totally & completely lost to track down a BC surgeon here locally in FL..... my PT "freaked out" over the appearance of my chest last week during my initial evaluation. She was able to refer me to a surgeon here...... who because she has the compassion of an angel was willing to see me.

    Long story short, MY surgeon had left a staple in my incision, that I didn't discover till we were 16 hours from home down here in FL. What the..........?????? [Feel free to insert nasty word here.] My oncologist also reviewed my incision during our exit interview & he 'over-looked' it too. Yet there it was big as day upon my first shower down here.

    This new, hip, young, female surgeon here removed the offending staple, put me on an antibiotic for the skin 'infection' that's resulted. She also aspirated fluid from that side where all of this was goin' on. She made her opinions of the whole thing known thru out our time together..... which was so demoralizing. DUH. There's no 'sawing-the-sawdust' in what has already been done. She wants to see me back there when I'm thru the antibiotic.

    I then had an hour for lunch before going to my first 'actual' PT session. My therapist is SOOOOO gentle that I can't imagine how we will be able to make any progress in the 8 sessions I have scheduled with her. I think if you blew on your computer screen it would impact my shoulder/ROM with about as much energy as she has put me thru...... she wants to be VERY cautious -- especially after what I'd been thru this morning.

    Ye gads.

    Blah, blah, blah. So I have spent another ENTIRE day in the land of BC reclaimation..... left here at nine and back at 4:30.

    I am grateful that this gal was willing to see me. I trust that what she has done has not been a step backwards. We put our lives into the hands of our fellow humans and then must accept their best efforts.

    It is not easy...... Lyn, I too had a chapter as a single parent. That load is heavy under the best of all circumstances. We're all cheering for you. Just like I must remind myself to exhale after all of this over-fraught nonsense today (broke my reading glasses and spilled something all over important papers..... you name it, if it could go poorly it did.)

    We have made it to March. We will make it to April. Then we'll be to May, before you know it school will start again..... and and and Christmas shopping. Then there will be all of the 'anniversaries' which bring us right back to square one in some emotional land-mine sorta ways and yet there will be rejoicing as well. We can do this.

    Accepting what is at hand always makes the going easier. To fight what "is" -- while easy, does not help with the progress..... always easier said than done.

    Onward to new jobs, new healthy exercises, brand new habits of eating and self care and proper perspective taking and counting our blessings, and new grand-children, and new projects and happy meetings with one another in real life!!!!!

    Ye ha..... I've nearly convinced myself that this is all for the good..... as I know that it actually is.

    LOL.

    Long winded.

    Love to each and every one of you.

    xx00xx00xx00xx

    Strength and courage.

    Strength and courage.

    Strength and courage.

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  • KatRNagain92
    KatRNagain92 Member Posts: 522
    edited March 2010

    OMG I am sooo exhausted.  5 measley little hours out and about and it's all I can do to tear my clothes off, check in on Team January and go to bed! 

    I didn't even get to see a man about my ovaries today because he was off delivering a baby....I've rescheduled but I killed a couple of hours of shopping before the appointment (I'm into scarves here lately for breastless dressing) and had I known the baby chimes were going to ring I would have went home after my visit to work.  Of course I'm elated for the baby and the new mom blah blah blah but I'm just feeling a little tired and scared and annoyed and the tamoxifen is making me kind of short tempered....Or it could be the full moon...that's probably it.   

    I'm sorry for whining when Lyn is having quite the time.  I don't know how you are doing it...and Robin either!  You girls are my inspriation!

    Congrats on your job offer Brenda!  Yay to showers Sally!  Yay to ice-cream Marianne!  (praying for good scores this week!) Yay to few SE Donna!  Yay to WW Paula!  (have you checked out hungrygirl.com?) 

    I will write more and catch up on coorespondence later but right now I feel a nap coming on! 
    Kat

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