January Mastectomy
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Here ya go Debbie... Sexual Healing: (copy and paste, couldn't get it to insert as a link)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fn4i8bAfnMY
And you can also go on to the next one, Let's Get It On also by Marvin Gaye!!!
I'll add my own little tale... The evening that I decided to try on one of my sexy nighties and was so giddy with how the girls looked in it, DH and I did our own Happy Dance. It takes a little different style (positioning), but we both felt like we were whole again, instead of me being the patient and he doing everything! I highly recommend making an effort to have some sexual healing!!!
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Floragal ,Thanks for clearly that up. Duh, I feel so bad that I shared it .Sorry Everybody!
I was worry about that diet, I knew i couldn't give up my sweets (Comfort Food)
Hugs Gina R
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Paula - Your grandson is absolutely beautiful ! You are just beaming, I love the picture. I had a crappy day today and came on here to check in, and your picture put me into tears - happy tears- and made me feel so much better. Life does go on, and wonderful things are in store for all of us. Congratulations !!!!
Sally
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MARIA and Elaine HUGS and STRENGTH. Hope things go well.
Paula congratulations of the new Grandson Eli. He is beautiful ... Good Luck....ENJOY!!!!
Well day one after Chemo... I feel good so far just a little out of breath ...l Got my Neulasta shot just a few minuets ago and I am hoping for the best... No Bone pain..... Plan to go to the movies tonight... Can't wait... Could you believe its still snowing.... 26inches.....
You girls crack me up... I am so lucky to have found you and you really don't know how much it means to me to be a part of this family..... Enjoy the day... Talk to you soon.
Donna
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Pardon me ladies while I rant and rave a little. I went for my new drain today. I had to check into the hospital at 8:15 and they had the procedure scheduled for 10:30. Nurse1 in the surgical 'holding pen' was very pleasant, but a little 'unaware' of her behavior. After the 3rd try for my iv, she finally got one in and starts asking me why I was there and so on. I, of course, assumed this would be in my chart - but apparently not. I explained I had to have an ab drain put in. She procedes to ask all sorts of questions until I finally say, I had BMX with recon from my abdomen. Her response....."oooh, you did them both. I so agree with that decision. I know I would not even hesitate - take them both immediately. Then I can have new boobies" UGH. Nurse2 is in the room at this time and she is actually interested in my recon procedure (they do not do it at this hospital) and asked some intelligent questions. She needed to look at my ab incision for some of my prep work, but she waited until the other girl left the room. So, she moves my gown to check the incision and the other girl pops back in and says "come on show us your boobies" and kind of reaches out and lifts my gown up. "wow, thats really cool" is her response. The other nurse grabbed my gown and pulled it back into place. Then Nurse1 popped back out of the room and was gone. I was just stunned. The other nurse looked embarrassed. I would have shown either of them (as they don't see this recon in their hospital), but I would have liked to be asked first. The other nurse talked a little more about my diep and then it was time for me to be moved to the CT area. This drain was supposed to be installed while I was having the CT. In the CT area, Nurse3 couldn't do anything correctly. She couldn't find my PS listed anywhere and couldn't find phone info for him. She kept questioning my procedure. She was clueless. The dr came in and he was questioning what was being done. They asked if I had my CT films for review (hadn't had the CT yet - was waiting for them to perform it). They left the room for a minute and I told my husband "I sure hope they don't remove my appendix or something". It totally felt like a circus. I was getting very nervous and was ready to bolt. Nurse4 comes to get me and says they are going to take me for films and bring me right back to DH. They take me to CT room and Nurse3 is there ranting about not being able to get a hold of my PS and what is the procedure exactly. She says "why did he send you here instead of a different hospital". Like she is mad to be dealing with me. I asked if she needed to speak to PS to get more info before they did something to me. She grumbled and walked away. Then dr walks in and starts procedure. I almost had a panic attack. I am thinking, they don't even know what they are supposed to be doing. I shut my eyes and tried to block it all out. I could feel the tears rolling down my cheeks. Dr noticed and questioned if I was in pain. This must have made Nurse3 feel bad, becasue she started consoling me and patting my arm telling me I was doing great and it was almost done. Dr did a great job, I had no pain and he was very nice. Nurses sucked.
Now the topper to all of this, after my procedure, Nurse3 is cleaning me up and says to me "I understand, I had this same situation, with same diagnosis". I just glared at her - Don't you think she would have been compasionate if she had been in my place at one time?? She made the whole experience nerve racking for me and nearly scared me to death thinking they didn't know what they were doing. I am telling PS I will NEVER go to this hospital again.
Oh, and my new drain.....it is nothing like the surgical drains we had. This is a bag, about the size of an IV bag. I have to wear it strapped to my leg. It is horrible. And worst of all - they will not let me shower while I have it ! I argued and told them I was allowed to shower immediately with the other drains. Nurse3 said that was probably why it fell out. I told her no, I ripped it out accidentally - UGH.
This was such a bad day. I cried more for the stupid drain than I did the day of my BMX. Now I am going to bed.
Talk to you all later.
Sally
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Oh Sally, I am sooooo sorry for stupid nurses!!! That must've been horrible! I think if I were in your shoes I would've walked out! I have a rough time when people in those positions don't have a clue. my first nurse in my room after my BMX was like that. She was sooooo concerned about my pain number rating that she wouldn't listen to anything else that I had to say. Finally I kind of yelled at her that I had no idea what my stupid pain number was I just needed something for the pain and the nausea. Even after I gave her a number she would question me "Are you sure? It hasn't gone down any?" If you're not going to believe me, why ask?! Anyway, I would definitely say something to your PS about it. Especially the nurse that lifted your gown and said show me your boobies! WTS!!! That is crazy! I think you should maybe even report her to someone at the hospital. anyway, glad that my beautiful grandson pix made you feel a little better! Saw him again today and if possible, he is even cuter today! haha!
Went for a massage today... I can't say that it was heavenly, it wasn't your typical massage. But I do think it was helpful. She worked on a lot of tight areas and spent quite a bit of time under my arms and moving my arms. I feel like I am looser feeling and the back doesn't hurt and feel as tight. I can't say that I am pain free, but didn't really think I'd get a miracle massage. I am going back next week, she said it's a process. I wasn't able to lay on my stomach on the table, but that didn't shock me, they have a pillow that is supposed to help but not in the case of rocks on the chest. I layed on my back for most of it and at the end I layed on each side for a little while so she could work on my back. But she said if I weren't able to lay on side she could work on my back while I layed on my back, which I think would've been tricky. I did okay, but she had to help me up afterwards. Anyway, I hope that it'll help more in the future. She said that even my legs and hips were tight. You have no idea how tight everything gets when you're so focused on one area. Anyway, hugs and prayers to all!
Paula
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SALLY-omg, what a horrible experience! I am so sorry! I cannot even imagine how terrified you must have felt. I don't blame you for never wanting to go back there again, and Nurse1 and Nurse3 deserve to have complaints filed against them!
And to top it off, no shower? That's crazy. I'm so sorry. But this too shall pass! Before you know it, the drain will be out and you'll be on the fast track to total recovery.
You deserve to go to bed-and a bucket of ice cream! Sending you big hugs from AZ
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Oh, Sally ... it is bad enough to have to get a new drain in, then to have that kind of treatment. Do they think just because we had an MX, our brains and feelings are gone.
I had my port 'installation' yesterday. Not really sore, but kind of achy and stiff. Just the single incision and lots of glue on top. I had to try on 3 different outfits today to find something that didn't show too much collarbone -- I didn't realize how many dress tanks I have that are scoops. Interviews went well. I hope to hear positive news next week. But that has me in a slight panic as well -- yikes! Now I need to figure out how to negotiate time off for treatment.
You are all amazing. I continue to be amazed at what we find and how similar many of us are.
As for foobies -- Deb -- it is really about finding a place you feel comfortable. I went to Nordstroms for my post mastectomy camisole and have to say I felt really odd. I was locked - yes locked - into a dressing room while she brought me two different camisoles. I tried them on, got dressed, and she came back and said "oh done already." It just felt like I had to be hidden away from normal people. The place I went for my foobie fitting was a place that specialized in mastectomy, chemo and lymphedema. They had several options, walked me through all my choices, showed me different things and had me try on everything. Then they knew all about the insurance and handled all of it. It was such a nice experience. I went for the foobies that are a bit lighter -- they are whipped vs poured, and it is very comfortable and I don't event notice I have it in. And I can wear it with my regular bra without a pocket. Although I think I will get pockets put in so they don't fly out if I feel like freak dancing!
Hugs to all of you ...
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Brenda, I have a question about your gel foobies... I have a very good friend that had her diagnosis just before I did and she hasn't started her reconstruction yet and has to wait until June. She hates her foobies, she said that they are soooo hot and she isn't looking forward to going into the warm weather with them.... I'm just wondering if the ones that you have that are lighter might also be cooler, or at least not as hot? Any thoughts on that? And maybe a website or name of them that I could forward on to her? Thanks for any info!
Hugs to all!
Paula
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Freak Dancing...right on!
I knew you could come through that port thing like it was nothing...way to go Brenda! I'm equally confident you'll get to name your price and your time! Go get em!
Oh Sally...my surgery day buddy...I'm so sorry you're having issues. I think those girls must not have been nurses at all...nurse wannabes at best...unless of course they had those red RN badges hanging from their name tag and then my theory is completely blown out of the water. I'm with Paula...I would report the one "nurse" with really bad behavior. Let me me guess...20 something? gads. They have no idea. In regards to showering, I would call your PS and tell him you have a leg bag drain (rolling eyes) and ask him if you covered the the insertion site with a little saran wrap and tape and you backed into the shower spray and promised to be very very careful if he would let you. It's worth a shot! Hang in there! This to shall pass.
Glad the chemo is going well Donna....I'm glad the SE are not showing themselves to you. Maybe they decided not to at all! Wouldn't that be wonderful? I hope so anyway
I had a visit today with my GP about filling my ativan...yay! Got 12 months worth! My cholesterol is horrible (240) so either the Tamoxifen has to start working or I need to get moving and incorporate some activity into my otherwise lounging existence. I go back to work in a few weeks so I'm sure it will be fine after I establish more of a routine. He was also saying how I had to learn how to manage my stress which he attributes my cancer manifestation to....cool, I knew it, now I can stop stressing over finding the answer and work on remaining calm.......peace and harmony...nothing will bother me. Ommmmm.....Right...good luck with that!
Debbie said a while back, and I echo those sentiments....I think and pray of each of you every single day. You are part of my daily devotionals. I hate that I may miss mentioning something that is important to any of you. Just knowing that we are all in this together is very comforting.
Happy weekend everyone!
Kat -
Sally, I am so sorry that you had to go through all that. Like you didn't go through enough already... I would complain to you surgeon... I do hope you feel better physically and mentally... Get to shower call the doctor. It will make you feel better.... Good luck with the drainage....
Brenda-- you go girl do a little dance.
Kat-- love the ativan deal although I don't have a RX as of yet.
Have a little joint pain today in the hip area ... I hope this isn't the start of anything ... Keep you fingers crossed.
NO movie tonight for us.. In-laws the lovely inlaws that only live 8 minuets away... Have no electric or heat because of the snow... So DH to the rescue went to hook up a generator for them.... LOVELY.........Sorry just venting..... Home alone again. Will watch a movie home or the Olympics.
Have a nice weekend.
HUGS,
Donna
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Kat-The nurse that lifted my top was actually 38. I only know this because while she was putting in my IV (and missing) and taking down some of my info, she was yelling across the room to a patient she went to school with. They mentioned their graduating class '89, so she's about 38 and should know better. Can you believe it - a bag drain. Now when I wear my jeans, you can see the bag on my leg. With the bulbs, I could hide them with sweaters and stuff. No such luck with the leg bag. I am going to call my PS and beg for the shower. I could have this thing for a week or two - that's just gross.
Gina - Your drains are your friends - be patient - you don't want to be aspirated, and you don't want to ever have to have it reinserted because it was removed to soon.
Paula - I'm sure he is even more beautiful. I love babies ! Eli is obviously going to be very special. He is barely 1 day old and has given a complete stranger a lift on a really bad day
I do feel better since the drain is in. In the CT room the dr drained off 200cc of fluid, so the pressure is gone now
Gotta look for that silver lining wherever you can find it.
Brenda - You go ! I agree with Kat, you will be naming your price and time...woohoo ! And I am very glad your port isn't to painful.
Donna - I hope you continue to feel good - enjoy that movie, and your snow
So let me get this straight......
We are...Team January
Our theme song is ...Sexual Healing (those of you not there yet, hurry and catch up
)
Our motto is ....Strength and Courage
Did I leave anything out ???
Love you ladies
Never Surrender !
Sally
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Donna - I just overlapped my post with yours. I am sorry about your hip. I will pray also that it is just a fluke and not connected to your chemo. Bummer about the movie. I always say look for the silver lining....DH could have brought in laws to stay with you, instead of hooking up a generator...could that be a silver lining? I know it would be for me..LOL
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Hi Kat,
So nice to have a surgery day buddy (hello to Sandra and Donna too)
I was also having my first fill today but NY had other plans......it has been snowing and snowing and snowing..........my ps cancelled all appt. so now I have to get my first fill after the weekend. I look forward to catching up to you...it's nice to have someone on a similar timetable. I am hoping the fill will resolve this little pokey thing that is driving me crazy >:( Glad you fill went well I hope it resolved the discomfort you were being poked with.
I haven't heard of the CVS scar tape....I'll look into it....most tape makes me very itchy. I also have found the joys of Excedrin in the morning.....best ever
Thanks for helping me feel better through all of this.....
Strength and healing to all,
Laura
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http://www.snopes.com/medical/disease/cancerupdate.asp
The above-mentioned "Cancer Update' is NOT from Johns Hopkins!!!!
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paula--you & the baby are beautiful!!!
sally--i think you should write a letter to the hosp detailing the experience. that was just unacceptable. just remember, even some nurses graduated at the bottom of the class.
feeling loopy --nitey
tata
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Congrats, Paula - what a beautiful baby boy! Must take after his (very young) grandmother. And I'm not surprised at his size - a friend of mine who is small has had 3 - 10lb+ babies - good nutrition??
And for all my encouragement to others, I'm not ready for bedroom gymnastics myself. Almost - that's one of the frustrations of this recent setback. This was also supposed to be a child-free weekend, but the college kid decided to surprise us with a visit. Nice, but I really wish he would call first. I'm supposed to get back to work next week, and this was supposed to be the last weekend of total decandence and relaxation. The perils of parenthood. Sigh. At least he's spending the night at his dad's so tonight is quiet (he plays drums, incessantly)
This infection is taking it out of me, so I'm going to sign off. Thank you for all your support and reports and information. It is so helpful.
Elaine
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....and the bills bills bills came pouring in and got Kat all a flustered....(sung to the tune of some Winnie the Pooh Video that is stuck in my head from when my kids were little:)
Today DH and I are going to make an excel spread sheet and include the inch high stack of EOB's, the actual bills, the deductibles and any out of networks and the threatening letters that will go to collections. <smirk> (My tamoxifen is kicking in and I can be a little surely now. hehe)
The good news is I don't believe I had one single out of network...the bad news is because I was diagnosed in December and had unnecessary MRI biopsies and my surgery was in January I have two deductibles to meet. I am very anxious to just get my bills paid and move on. I'm hoping like crazy I can get by with 5 grand and be done with it.
I am curious as to what my final total expense of this little fiasco has ended up to be. I had 2 trips to surgery which I'm sure isn't going to help my final numbers and I still have one to go with the exchange.
I'm going to shoot out a number. 84,000. Who wants to play? (it'll be fun)
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Mornin' glories {hugs}
Sally OMG {{{{{HUGS}}}}}} I can not imagine!
Paula you are beautiful and so is the new grandbaby
Girls, I love you all and am thinking of you and praying for you all. I am so thankful to have such an awesome group of support at my fingertips. The day I found this site, this is the first topic I clicked on and never left.
I was 4 days out from my bilateral and only a month from diagnosis and was scared and alone. I had the greatest comfort from hearing from others what they went through and that they were ok afterwards. Without you all I would have lost my mind {{ hugs }}
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Hey Kat! I just did a little bill paying yesterday myself. I announced to my DH that I had already met my yearly deductible and the family yearly deductible! So proud of myself!!! haha! He was like, well, I sure hope so! One word of advice to all, we had a bill come in a while back from the radiologist that did my steri-whatever biopsy and it was outrageous (not much paid from BC/BS) so we pulled out the letter we had received from BC/BS because we thought that it had said that it paid more than that, and lo and behold it had! So, I was going to call and dispute the bill and a few days later we received a new one for the correct amount. It kind of woke us up a little not to just accept the bill at face value and pay it, so now we always wait for the BC/BS statement and compare. So far I have received the BS/BS statement for the hospital bill (a little over $30,000) can't remember my amount off hand, but haven't received the actual bill yet though. And just received the PS bill for surgery yesterday but havne't received anything on the BS yet. I think that you're real close with your guess Kat... but what the heck, I think I'll go for an even $90,000. Who knows where it'll end up in the end, it's just crazy, glad we have insurance!!!
Lyn, I feel the same way, I always pop on first thing in the morning to see what everyone is up to!
go Team January!!!!
Paula
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I am beginning to go through the bills as well. I am just now paying on the ones from December. January is a new insurance provider for me (what timing) and new deductible. So far I have to say this new insurance is paying way better than my old one did so that is a blessing. Thanks for the words of advice Paula.
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Morning Ladies... BILLS!! Oh NO! Don't want to think about itl.. But I know i have to do it....
Feeling good today second day after chemo... I feel aliitle tired. But nothing that rest won't cure... Drinking lots of water to get this stuff out of me... I am so glad everyone one is doing well.
Finally sun is out... Maybe do some banking.....
(HA) Don't let the bills get you down.
Donna
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debbie--i'm doing better this morning. not sure if i got off sched with the anti emetics or what, but last night was not good. couldn't eat the lovely dinner dearest made me. broccoli & i may never be friends again.
re: bills-----always wait for the eob & double check. and don't be too quick to toss the bills once they are paid..keep a file. when i had the tumor removed from my head i kept getting bills for over a year & it was a nightmare trying to figure if it was truely due or they were double billing me. all it takes is a miskey here & there or an incorrect dx code & the ins will reject. but that doesn't mean you need to pay the full amount, but question if it doesn't seem right.
lucky me - i also had a first of the year ins change, so have a much smaller oop expense than we would have.
praying for a comfortable weekend for all...tata
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I want to play ... Kat, you said 84,000? I'm going to go with 97,000!
Ugghh ... I think I did too much yesterday after my port surgery. I am sore and stiff today. May have to go after the big guns rather than the puny regular Tylenol. Hurts more than the MX did.
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Funny this thread shows up now - I just tried to figure up my bills last night - my share is around $2000, if I've figured right. My company supplies a pretty good insurance, but I had the option of paying more from each paycheck for a better deal, and it is paying off now - only $500 deductible, $3000 out-of-pocket, and 90/10. It's going to save my financial life. And I've had two friends just give me checks totalling over $1200 to help pay for bills. My support system ROCKS!
I learned the business about waiting to pay the bills recently - btw, if you OVERPAY there is a good chance you will never get your money back (it's kept on account and good luck getting them to reimburse). Wait for at least the second bill before you pay anything, and keep track if you paid co-pays - sometimes, because they go through the Dr's office, they don't show up on the billing because that's done centrally and the co-pay hasn't been recorded yet. I talked to a billing person recently and she admitted that although she does this all the time, she has problems trying to figure it out because it is so complex.
I think because I just did the one BMX with no reconstruction and nothing else, my total will be about 40,000, give or take 3000. I know when my mother had a bone marrow transplant towards the end, that alone was $100,000.
Elaine
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Back to sex.
I have a dear BC friend who has a vision of a site that will connect BC sisters in a unique/social networking way. Her first step is to have a blog..... and rustle up followers.
Anyhow, this morning she has a post very loosely tied to the topic of sex.
She is attending the Young Survivors Conference taking place at this very minute.
There are all sorts of posts, research, uplifting first hand accounts etc etc. I have authored one of the posts on the blog & hope to submit other articles in the future.
xx00xx00xx00xx
Strength and courage.
Strength and courage.
Strength and courage.
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Sally - somehow I missed your post from earlier. I just went back and read it and I'm impressed that you got through it without throwing anything or screaming at anyone! I think that some dr's and nurses look on our bodies as just specimens to examine - they forget the human that lives in the body. Idiots. Thank goodness most people in the medical system are NOT like that. I think a letter of complaint is perfectly reasonable. We deserve respect.
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I think my total will be over $100,000. I only guess this high, becasue of my PS portion. His portion of the surgery was 12hrs - I can't wait to actually see that amount. My drain installation yesterday was almost $8000.00.
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Ladies, thanks for all the sympathy yesterday. After I took a nap, and read all the positive support, I felt much better. I will be calling PS office Monday morning to beg for shower and complain about the hospital.
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